Dimensions Forums  
Home Register Premium Membership Stories Ye Olde Library Health Issues Market Place Big Fashion

Go Back   Dimensions Forums > Discussion > Fat sexuality



Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 07-08-2014, 04:18 PM   #126
Diana_Prince245
Wise as Athena
 
Diana_Prince245's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Our grass is blue
Posts: 1,391
Diana_Prince245 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Diana_Prince245 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Diana_Prince245 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Diana_Prince245 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Diana_Prince245 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Diana_Prince245 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Diana_Prince245 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Diana_Prince245 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Diana_Prince245 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Diana_Prince245 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Diana_Prince245 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by stevenbbwlvr View Post
I've commented before, and will do so again: I view such arrangements as inherently unstable. One partner gets a wandering eye; they want an "open marriage," The other partner says yes because something is better than nothing. It's a hurtful dynamic. I'm monoamorous.
Good for you. I know plenty of people in long-term open relationships. What works for you isn't necessarily what works for everybody else. Every person is different in their wants, needs and desires in a relationship, which means every relationship is different.
__________________
All women can do wonders if they’re put to the test -- Wonder Woman
Diana_Prince245 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-08-2014, 10:51 PM   #127
superodalisque
 
superodalisque's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: atlanta
Posts: 7,580
superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by stevenbbwlvr View Post
I've commented before, and will do so again: I view such arrangements as inherently unstable.

One partner gets a wandering eye; they want an "open marriage," The other partner says yes because something is better than nothing.

It's a hurtful dynamic.

I'm monoamorous.
i don't have a problem if other people do it but i feel kinda like you do. i don't want to be with someone who can't/won't concentrate. and if i don't care enough about someone else for it to matter to me if they sleep with someone else i think for me the whole situation would be pretty much a pointless exercise. for me it takes the special out of it. spending so much of my time with someone i don't care deeply or feel passionately for is a waste of my life. i'd rather be out looking for something more intense than maintenance and waiting for a turn. and i'm not the type who wants to spend my time stuffing down emotions natural to me either.

if i didn't care what happened i think that would be the height of boredom. i don't just want to like somebody, be their friend and just have comfortable enjoyable sexual playtime. i want more than just that. the ability to do that is always hanging around somewhere. sometimes you want your life to be astounding and vibrant instead of ho hum. sometimes you want the whole cake instead of crumbs tiny leftovers and what looks like the same old messed up sexual dynamics with a trendy name. so in that case you need somebody who feels the same.

honestly, i think if it takes that many people to satisfy me somebody really must not be doing something right.
__________________
Ayn Rand: "An emotion that clashes with your reason, an emotion that you cannot explain or control, is only the carcass of that stale thinking which you forbade your mind to revise."

Last edited by superodalisque; 07-08-2014 at 11:05 PM.
superodalisque is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-08-2014, 11:08 PM   #128
bigmac
 
bigmac's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Redwood Coast
Posts: 10,364
bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by stevenbbwlvr View Post
I've commented before, and will do so again: I view such arrangements as inherently unstable.

One partner gets a wandering eye; they want an "open marriage," The other partner says yes because something is better than nothing.

It's a hurtful dynamic.

I'm monoamorous.

I agree multiple partner relationships are indeed unstable and almost always end with hurt feelings.

Monogamy is a viable alternative. As are more casual relationships. If a person feels they need to have sex with multiple people (which isn't in itself a bad thing) multiple no strings attached relationships are the way to go.
bigmac is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-09-2014, 07:33 AM   #129
lille
 
lille's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: TX
Posts: 1,131
lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by stevenbbwlvr View Post
I've commented before, and will do so again: I view such arrangements as inherently unstable.

One partner gets a wandering eye; they want an "open marriage," The other partner says yes because something is better than nothing.

It's a hurtful dynamic.

I'm monoamorous.
Of course in a relationship where one partner only agrees to open things in order to keep their current parter things aren't going to end well.

However, poly relationships can work when everyone involved knows the relationship is poly going in to the relationship. It's not my things, it wouldn't work for me, but that doesn't mean it never works.
lille is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-15-2014, 01:49 PM   #130
jakub
Visitor
 
jakub's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Poland
Posts: 141
jakub can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokesjakub can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokes
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by lille View Post
Of course in a relationship where one partner only agrees to open things in order to keep their current parter things aren't going to end well.
Sometimes it's the only way.
jakub is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-15-2014, 09:17 PM   #131
superodalisque
 
superodalisque's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: atlanta
Posts: 7,580
superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by jakub View Post
Sometimes it's the only way.
it's absolutely not ever the only way. the person who feels forced into it should pack up and go. no one is worth putting yourself through that if it's not your own wish. anyone who actually cares about you wouldn't force you into it. sometimes it's just better to part ways instead of trying to make either partner into something they aren't. some things are just not meant to be.
__________________
Ayn Rand: "An emotion that clashes with your reason, an emotion that you cannot explain or control, is only the carcass of that stale thinking which you forbade your mind to revise."
superodalisque is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-15-2014, 09:32 PM   #132
CurvaceousBBWLover
Primordial
 
CurvaceousBBWLover's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Baltimore Metro Area
Posts: 1,908
CurvaceousBBWLover has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!CurvaceousBBWLover has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!CurvaceousBBWLover has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!CurvaceousBBWLover has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!CurvaceousBBWLover has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!CurvaceousBBWLover has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!CurvaceousBBWLover has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!CurvaceousBBWLover has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!CurvaceousBBWLover has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!CurvaceousBBWLover has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!CurvaceousBBWLover has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by stevenbbwlvr View Post
I've commented before, and will do so again: I view such arrangements as inherently unstable.

One partner gets a wandering eye; they want an "open marriage," The other partner says yes because something is better than nothing.

It's a hurtful dynamic.

I'm monoamorous.
I agree with you strongly. While I have an open mind about friends who want to participate in these relationships, they are not for me--especially if children are involved.

The idea of being able to have sex with various secondary partners while remaining with a primary partner sounds good. The problem is that such activities will lead to jealously and heartbreak.

I would strongly prefer a traditional, monogamous relationship where the two people build a life together. Involving other partners is messy and also leads to emotional turmoil.


__________________
"A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history."--Mohandas Ghandi
CurvaceousBBWLover is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-15-2014, 10:19 PM   #133
penguin
Fnord
 
penguin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Brisbane, Australia.
Posts: 5,249
penguin has ascended what used to be the highest level.penguin has ascended what used to be the highest level.penguin has ascended what used to be the highest level.penguin has ascended what used to be the highest level.penguin has ascended what used to be the highest level.penguin has ascended what used to be the highest level.penguin has ascended what used to be the highest level.penguin has ascended what used to be the highest level.penguin has ascended what used to be the highest level.penguin has ascended what used to be the highest level.penguin has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

There is such a huge difference between saying "it wouldn't ever work" and "it wouldn't work for me."

As in any relationship, communication is key.
__________________
Wishlist because I like stuff
penguin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-15-2014, 10:57 PM   #134
superodalisque
 
superodalisque's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: atlanta
Posts: 7,580
superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by CurvaceousBBWLover View Post
I agree with you strongly. While I have an open mind about friends who want to participate in these relationships, they are not for me--especially if children are involved.

The idea of being able to have sex with various secondary partners while remaining with a primary partner sounds good. The problem is that such activities will lead to jealously and heartbreak.

I would strongly prefer a traditional, monogamous relationship where the two people build a life together. Involving other partners is messy and also leads to emotional turmoil.


i think it's easy for people to feel that having regular sex together means they are having a relationship with someone until they start to actually have one . intensity and connection is always going to vary.
__________________
Ayn Rand: "An emotion that clashes with your reason, an emotion that you cannot explain or control, is only the carcass of that stale thinking which you forbade your mind to revise."

Last edited by superodalisque; 07-15-2014 at 11:00 PM.
superodalisque is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2014, 03:29 AM   #135
Scx
Fringy Lunatic
 
Scx's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Elsewhere
Posts: 222
Scx can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokesScx can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokes
Default Terminology?

A distinction should be drawn between polyamory, loving many people at once, and what, polygamy (polyandry too?) fucking many people at once.

Love and sex do not necessarily go together. If you are discussing poly-whatever, it might behoove you to make it clear whether you're discussing sharing deep affection or sharing genitals for fun every now and then.

Some might argue that for them, sex does equal love, and thus the distinction I have drawn here is irrelevant, but the plethora of one-night stands and barroom hookups that exist in the real world would seem to show that their attitude is not universal to humanity.

Anyhow, I think (not having done so myself - This is entirely theoretical) anyone into 'poly' should make certain exactly which kind of poly they're into.

Scx
Scx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2014, 06:40 AM   #136
lille
 
lille's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: TX
Posts: 1,131
lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scx View Post
A distinction should be drawn between polyamory, loving many people at once, and what, polygamy (polyandry too?) fucking many people at once.

Love and sex do not necessarily go together. If you are discussing poly-whatever, it might behoove you to make it clear whether you're discussing sharing deep affection or sharing genitals for fun every now and then.

Some might argue that for them, sex does equal love, and thus the distinction I have drawn here is irrelevant, but the plethora of one-night stands and barroom hookups that exist in the real world would seem to show that their attitude is not universal to humanity.

Anyhow, I think (not having done so myself - This is entirely theoretical) anyone into 'poly' should make certain exactly which kind of poly they're into.

Scx
Exactly, there is a big difference between an open relationship (which involves sex with others) and polyamory (which involves multiple romantic relationships).
lille is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2014, 11:14 AM   #137
Tracyarts
 
Tracyarts's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Just southeast of Houston, TX
Posts: 1,964
Tracyarts keeps pushing the rep limit!Tracyarts keeps pushing the rep limit!Tracyarts keeps pushing the rep limit!Tracyarts keeps pushing the rep limit!Tracyarts keeps pushing the rep limit!Tracyarts keeps pushing the rep limit!Tracyarts keeps pushing the rep limit!Tracyarts keeps pushing the rep limit!Tracyarts keeps pushing the rep limit!Tracyarts keeps pushing the rep limit!Tracyarts keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

" Exactly, there is a big difference between an open relationship (which involves sex with others) and polyamory (which involves multiple romantic relationships). "

I think this is confusing for a lot of people. Nonmonogamy means just that. You have more than one sexual and/or romantic partner. There are many different ways to do nonmonogamy. On one end of the spectrum would be the "don't ask, don't tell" kind of open relationship dynamic where partners are completely free to do whatever with whoever and have no obligation to let their primary partner know about any of it. On the other end of the spectrum would be polyfidelity, where there are more than two people involved in some manner, within the construct of a closed, committed, and loving partnership that has long-term potential.

Polyamory doesn't even have to include sex. Asexual people and people who for whatever reason are celibate can still develop romantic feelings for each other. That can even lead to strong bonds of love. The lack of sexual contact doesn't automatically mean that a relationship is platonic.
__________________
My random topics YouTube Vlog:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmA...27t-qZg/videos
Tracyarts is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-17-2014, 11:23 PM   #138
superodalisque
 
superodalisque's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: atlanta
Posts: 7,580
superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tracyarts View Post
" Exactly, there is a big difference between an open relationship (which involves sex with others) and polyamory (which involves multiple romantic relationships). "

I think this is confusing for a lot of people. Nonmonogamy means just that. You have more than one sexual and/or romantic partner. There are many different ways to do nonmonogamy. On one end of the spectrum would be the "don't ask, don't tell" kind of open relationship dynamic where partners are completely free to do whatever with whoever and have no obligation to let their primary partner know about any of it. On the other end of the spectrum would be polyfidelity, where there are more than two people involved in some manner, within the construct of a closed, committed, and loving partnership that has long-term potential.

Polyamory doesn't even have to include sex. Asexual people and people who for whatever reason are celibate can still develop romantic feelings for each other. That can even lead to strong bonds of love. The lack of sexual contact doesn't automatically mean that a relationship is platonic.
respectfully, people do all of this anyway. it just seems a lot of to do about nothing.
__________________
Ayn Rand: "An emotion that clashes with your reason, an emotion that you cannot explain or control, is only the carcass of that stale thinking which you forbade your mind to revise."
superodalisque is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:29 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright Dimensions Magazine. All rights reserved worldwide.