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Old 09-14-2009, 05:02 PM   #51
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yeah me too
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Old 09-14-2009, 05:29 PM   #52
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what do y'all think about that issue?
What do I think about "men" who would rather stare at a screen than be with their woman?

I don't want to get banned tonight, but the short version is that they don't deserve any of the amazingly fun and sexy women I know. In fact, they could all start an underground commune and live like fapping moles. I'd be perfectly content to never know they exist.

Show me a "man" who takes any of you for granted and I'll get the phonebook for counselor listings because he clearly needs it; it's heartbreaking for me to consider this even happens. Turns my stomach, too, actually.
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Old 09-14-2009, 06:45 PM   #53
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Originally Posted by Fascinita View Post
I also know that, for some people, it's the "otherness" and the transgressiveness of fat that attracts them. And I wonder if the draw of transgression in fat doesn't get mapped onto the transgressiveness of porn... Fat and porn, as ideas, both seem to suggest the possibility of erasing boundaries between people.
I definitely agree with you about the transgressive nature of a fat woman who is confident and sexy, and how that can overlap with the transgressiveness of pornography. I'm not sure I agree with the last bit, though, about boundaries being erased; porn can be very dehumanizing and still something that is forbidden in a lot of ways, and I would think that in a lot of cases, fat porn would reinforce the boundaries between acceptable and unacceptable.
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Old 09-14-2009, 07:16 PM   #54
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I definitely agree with you about the transgressive nature of a fat woman who is confident and sexy, and how that can overlap with the transgressiveness of pornography. I'm not sure I agree with the last bit, though, about boundaries being erased; porn can be very dehumanizing and still something that is forbidden in a lot of ways, and I would think that in a lot of cases, fat porn would reinforce the boundaries between acceptable and unacceptable.
is it as transgressive to admire a fat confident woman ? i'm not so sure. it might be more transgressive to desire the most negative stereotype of a fat woman that you can find. that would be the crying, out of control of her food, sloppy, dirty, poor, miserable stereotype that some FAs might seem to find great pleasure in--sometimes secretly sometimes not so secretly. the little i've seen of bbw porn seems to focus more on those aspects than on lovely beautiful confident women in general. and especially some of the more popular ones that still have staying power today have those elements at the center. some of it has been prettified but underneath it there are a lot of negative assumptions that are sometimes being played to.

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Old 09-14-2009, 07:54 PM   #55
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I used to find nothing wrong with porn. Then I dated someone who was addicted to it and that changed my mind. I wouldn't mind watching it occassionally with a lover. But it would never become part of our routine.
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Old 09-14-2009, 08:02 PM   #56
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After all this discussion I'm starting to wonder about masturbation itself. If porn were not so readily available, but your SOs still masturbated just as much, would that be an issue? Is it porn or masturbation while in a relationship that is the problem? Is there a limit for people about how much their SOs should masturbate? I'm not talking about mutual masturbation either. If all your SOs viewed porn just as much, but didn't masturbate would that make a difference?
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Old 09-15-2009, 01:32 AM   #57
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I think anything done to excess -- when it is used to numb feelings, as an escape, as part of an obsession -- to where it acts like a sort of wall, is a problem, whether it's masturbation without porn, or porn without masturbation. Also other things that people often use to not feel their feelings, or just to excess to where they are lying about it and pushing away their partner, whether intentionally or subconsciously. If it's none of these things, and it's just an occasional thing and not obsessive, I don't think it's a problem.

Just read tonight a post by a woman who is in her 60s and her husband tells her he can't get it up and that's why they don't have sex. Thing is, he can, but only to young girls in porn, but not with his wife. He's been addicted to porn for years and it's been to the point where she is ashamed of her body because there's no sex between them, he just masturbates to porn featuring young women, and she covers herself up and is ashamed of her body because she cannot compete with those young bodies. He apologizes profusely, says he'll stop; he does for a while and then it starts all over again, over and over for years now (personally, I think she's stayed in that relationship for decades more than she should have, but such is life sometimes -- codependence sets in). She seems to feel used up and unattractive. This, and worse, is what porn addictions do, and that is why I tend to almost only address addictions, because I think that it's really only addictions (and its addictions that pretty much always carry the added lies that make things so much worse and destroy trust) that are problematic.
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Old 09-15-2009, 02:09 AM   #58
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I would think that in a lot of cases, fat porn would reinforce the boundaries between acceptable and unacceptable.
Can you say more about this? I'm curious.

What I meant by "erasing boundaries between people" is that porn facilitates (even hinges on) the illusion that what I, the consumer of it, want is instantly available to me in an image which stands in for another person.
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Old 09-15-2009, 02:23 AM   #59
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Just read tonight a post by a woman who is in her 60s and her husband tells her he can't get it up and that's why they don't have sex. Thing is, he can, but only to young girls in porn, but not with his wife. He's been addicted to porn for years and it's been to the point where she is ashamed of her body because there's no sex between them, he just masturbates to porn featuring young women, and she covers herself up and is ashamed of her body because she cannot compete with those young bodies. He apologizes profusely, says he'll stop; he does for a while and then it starts all over again, over and over for years now (personally, I think she's stayed in that relationship for decades more than she should have, but such is life sometimes -- codependence sets in). She seems to feel used up and unattractive. This, and worse, is what porn addictions do, and that is why I tend to almost only address addictions, because I think that it's really only addictions (and its addictions that pretty much always carry the added lies that make things so much worse and destroy trust) that are problematic.
Leave the geezer! Find a more caring man.

There is a mechanical aspect in porn use as we know it now, I think, and its mechanism is one of male entitlement. On what planet should a man with those shortcomings benefit from the companionship and care of a loyal wife? Yet so many women know too well how to play the good, giving, and game girls (apologies to whathisname), to stunt their own desires. Eff that.
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Old 09-15-2009, 07:52 AM   #60
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Porn, or anything really, become a problem when there are lies associated with it. When one partner chooses to lie about their behavior (for whatever reason) to the other partner, it totally changes the nature of their relationship. When the object that is being lied about is one of a sexual nature I think it can be even more damaging because feelings of inadequacy are bound to set in. Its very hard to bounce back from something like that and it takes a strong dedicated couple to even make the attempt.

Regarding fat porn bridging the gap between acceptable and non acceptable. I haven't watched porn for quite some time, but the last time I saw fat porn, the lady was dressed in filthy clothes was not made up to look attractive at all, and there was a cameo by a midget. That's not my idea of a cheerleader for acceptance.
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Old 09-15-2009, 06:14 PM   #61
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Porn, or anything really, become a problem when there are lies associated with it. When one partner chooses to lie about their behavior (for whatever reason) to the other partner, it totally changes the nature of their relationship. When the object that is being lied about is one of a sexual nature I think it can be even more damaging because feelings of inadequacy are bound to set in. Its very hard to bounce back from something like that and it takes a strong dedicated couple to even make the attempt.

Regarding fat porn bridging the gap between acceptable and non acceptable. I haven't watched porn for quite some time, but the last time I saw fat porn, the lady was dressed in filthy clothes was not made up to look attractive at all, and there was a cameo by a midget. That's not my idea of a cheerleader for acceptance.
that part about lying is really interesting. i can't help but wonder if people who totally tell the truth about thier porn use are really trying to skirt the issue. maybe they bring thier gfs into it and tell them everything because then all of a sudden they can play the good guy? " i was open. i shared with you. i told you everything. there are no secrets between us." its kinda sounds like guys who say its okay to have an affair because he told his SO about it. or, because he has always been open about his predisposition to cheating. i'm not saying that porn use is cheating at all. just that something about that argument might feel a little disingenious and shifty to the person who gets hurt. especially if the person doing the hurting is already aware of the potential impact of thier actions and made sure they waited until feelings betwen the two had matured and it would be hard for a woman to just leave or take a pass.

i think its a great idea for women who are told such things to take them seriously , act appropriately and protect themselves emotionally if they need to. but we as women are very reluctant to cut ourselves lose from people we have a bond with. maybe thats yet another reason we should take our time about getting involved. it will give us a chance to learn something about someone and make it more dificult for them to keep secrets until a bond is formed and they know you'll be more likely to tolerate certain things. it might not be very healthy for us to make ourselves as vulnerable as we have been or as society pressures us to be without any assurance for our own emotional well being. folks really don't change who they are very much. so its probably a good idea to believe what a man tells you. they really don't seem to lie very much unless we kind of coach them with what we'd like to hear. so maybe we need more time to listen to and digest what they say.

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Old 09-15-2009, 06:51 PM   #62
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is it as transgressive to admire a fat confident woman ? i'm not so sure. it might be more transgressive to desire the most negative stereotype of a fat woman that you can find.
Ye... n... maybe. Probably should have paid more attention in my Women's Studies courses. :P

It comes down a direct rebellion against the negative stereotype versus finding something desirable in that same stereotype. So which is more transgressive, undermining the perception or undermining the reaction to the perception? Even when (now that I think about it more) to a certain extent, both images conform to how our society traditionally views women? Does that completely undermine the transgression? Which leads me to....


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What I meant by "erasing boundaries between people" is that porn facilitates (even hinges on) the illusion that what I, the consumer of it, want is instantly available to me in an image which stands in for another person.
Oh, okay, I see what you're saying. I thought you meant that porn somehow brings people together, and I was all . Well, besides the performers. It's pretty obvious how they're brought together.

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Can you say more about this? I'm curious.
Dammit, now I'm trying to remember what I meant about reinforcing the boundaries between the acceptable and the unacceptable. Uh. I think what I meant was that since porn is something that is still considered shameful by our culture (even though it seems like we're swimming in it sometimes), putting fat women in that realm doesn't do anything to make our bodies more acceptable.

I recognize that there are men out there who genuinely care for and respect fat women as well as being sexually attracted to them and are able to separate fantasy from reality-- gold stars all around-- but there are also men who keep their attraction to fat women secret, because it's socially unacceptable. So in those instances-- and I have no data to prove which scenario is more common, but the cynic in me assumes the latter-- there is still the perception that there is something wrong with women being fat, and that there is something wrong with a man being attracted to fat women. The fact that images of those women are something taboo, something to be hidden so as to not be associated with them in the public sphere, reinforces both of those ideas.

I hope that made sense. I'm a bit out of it tonight.
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Old 09-15-2009, 08:36 PM   #63
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that part about lying is really interesting. i can't help but wonder if people who totally tell the truth about thier porn use are really trying to skirt the issue. maybe they bring thier gfs into it and tell them everything because then all of a sudden they can play the good guy? " i was open. i shared with you. i told you everything. there are no secrets between us." its kinda sounds like guys who say its okay to have an affair because he told his SO about it. or, because he has always been open about his predisposition to cheating. i'm not saying that porn use is cheating at all. just that something about that argument might feel a little disingenious and shifty to the person who gets hurt. especially if the person doing the hurting is already aware of the potential impact of thier actions and made sure they waited until feelings betwen the two had matured and it would be hard for a woman to just leave or take a pass.
Hmmm... In this case, he's damned if he tells the truth and damned if he doesn't.

Personally, I'd always rather have the truth. I appreciate the truth. If one has the truth, then one can make an educated decision. If the guy either lies about his porn use, or lies by omission, and particularly if the woman is open about her not being thrilled with frequent porn use before they ever get together, then that is being dishonest on the man's part. At least if she knew from the start, she could make a decision informed by the truth, and not have to wait until she's years down the road and in love with him before finding out.

I have to say that from my research into the issue, it's pretty rare that the guy is totally honest about it. Often, as frequently happens with any kind of addiction, he will not only lie to his spouse, but to himself as well, and not admit that he has a porn addiction until things get so bad that he's either lost, or is being threatened with losing, his relationship, job, children -- everything. Before then, it's multiple lies to himself and those around him. Sometimes even then he cannot stop with the behavior nor the lying about it.
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i think its a great idea for women who are told such things to take them seriously , act appropriately and protect themselves emotionally if they need to.
Yeah, you know, I learned something very important years ago: if a guy tells you he's an asshole, don't soothe him and tell him he's not. Believe him. After all, he knows himself way better than you know him. Hear what he says, believe it and then turn and run away.
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they really don't seem to lie very much unless we kind of coach them with what we'd like to hear. so maybe we need more time to listen to and digest what they say.
I tend to disagree with the first sentence, as I think lying is not a behavior with a predisposition depending upon gender. Totally agree with the second sentence. It can be too easy to shrug off things we don't want to see about the person and ignore the red flags that may pop up.
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Old 09-16-2009, 05:49 AM   #64
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I don't know about full disclosure and honesty. I mean, I view porn at times and have my own stash of it. It's a private thing. I feel I should be able to choose what I want and not have to share absolutely every single molecule of my brain with my boyfriend if I don't feel comfortable doing so. I would not conceal from him that I do look at it but should I *have* to open the cabinet and let them paw through and analyze my brain and proclaim judgements for his own sense of comfort? See, I have a problem with that. If I don't want to share it or I don't feel comfortable doing so then nobody's going to see, that's my choice and my decision. I feel that any guy I'm seeing should be afforded the same courtesy. We're not children of course but I just feel there are boundaries, you know. Because of my own relationship to porn I consider it HUGE if someone I'm seeing feels comfortable enough to share that part of themself with me even if the particulars of it are not all that appealing to me. I would hope that would be the case and resolve to behave myself and be polite when being shown around. I expect the same behavior in return. This is not to say this is how everyone should feel or respond. Your level of comfort may vary and that's perfectly fine but I'm not so certain about pressuring people to hand it over if that's what people are getting at.

If someone I've been seeing for some time still feels uncomfortable around me then I think we might have issues between us that go far beyond, "If you love me you'll show me your pr0n stash." Some people in my view don't have the mentality to separate the fantasy level of imagery from real flesh and blood interactions. This isn't just something exclusive to the stereotypical one handed porn addict who lives on paysites. There are porn lovers who are perfectly well adjusted and discerning but he/she may perceive that his/her mate may not be and doesn't have a cognitive frame of reference to understand it in its proper perspective without applying it to him/herself in some way. In that sense, yes I would be reluctant to share with my mate because it will open a can of worms needlessly. I just KNOW he's going to compare his body to the bodys of every dude in the video because the conceptual distance afforded by fantasy is not perceptable to him. In this case I think it's fair to just be honest and communicative about why or why not when it comes to sharing. From there you can decide how you want to go but a person who is unwilling to open the door on that part of themselves just yet, it may not necessarily have some sinister illegal meaning behind it though that's always possible too. I just don't subscribe to the idea that I must let any guy in who asks nicely or lose him. If that's the case then get lost buddy. There's got to be a way to enjoy someone's aquaintence and maintain my humanity at the same time.
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Old 09-16-2009, 04:27 PM   #65
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Your level of comfort may vary and that's perfectly fine but I'm not so certain about pressuring people to hand it over if that's what people are getting at.
I don't know that that is what anyone is getting at, Lilly. I know I'm not. Then again, for me, the dividing line in my mind is addiction, which carries with it a whole set of behaviors.
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Old 09-16-2009, 07:43 PM   #66
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I don't know about full disclosure and honesty. I mean, I view porn at times and have my own stash of it. It's a private thing. I feel I should be able to choose what I want and not have to share absolutely every single molecule of my brain with my boyfriend if I don't feel comfortable doing so. I would not conceal from him that I do look at it but should I *have* to open the cabinet and let them paw through and analyze my brain and proclaim judgements for his own sense of comfort? See, I have a problem with that. If I don't want to share it or I don't feel comfortable doing so then nobody's going to see, that's my choice and my decision. I feel that any guy I'm seeing should be afforded the same courtesy. We're not children of course but I just feel there are boundaries, you know. Because of my own relationship to porn I consider it HUGE if someone I'm seeing feels comfortable enough to share that part of themself with me even if the particulars of it are not all that appealing to me. I would hope that would be the case and resolve to behave myself and be polite when being shown around. I expect the same behavior in return. This is not to say this is how everyone should feel or respond. Your level of comfort may vary and that's perfectly fine but I'm not so certain about pressuring people to hand it over if that's what people are getting at.

If someone I've been seeing for some time still feels uncomfortable around me then I think we might have issues between us that go far beyond, "If you love me you'll show me your pr0n stash." Some people in my view don't have the mentality to separate the fantasy level of imagery from real flesh and blood interactions. This isn't just something exclusive to the stereotypical one handed porn addict who lives on paysites. There are porn lovers who are perfectly well adjusted and discerning but he/she may perceive that his/her mate may not be and doesn't have a cognitive frame of reference to understand it in its proper perspective without applying it to him/herself in some way. In that sense, yes I would be reluctant to share with my mate because it will open a can of worms needlessly. I just KNOW he's going to compare his body to the bodys of every dude in the video because the conceptual distance afforded by fantasy is not perceptable to him. In this case I think it's fair to just be honest and communicative about why or why not when it comes to sharing. From there you can decide how you want to go but a person who is unwilling to open the door on that part of themselves just yet, it may not necessarily have some sinister illegal meaning behind it though that's always possible too. I just don't subscribe to the idea that I must let any guy in who asks nicely or lose him. If that's the case then get lost buddy. There's got to be a way to enjoy someone's aquaintence and maintain my humanity at the same time.
yes i agree with you here. the thing about sharing is that the person you are sharing it with shouldn't feel like its being shoved down thier throat. if everybody feels comfortable there is nothing wrong with sharing as much as you can.

i'm not sure but i think that people who are seriously addicted to porn might be pretty likely to just try and shove it down your throat whether its your thing or not. that would be in terms of either having a person watch with them if they aren't intereste or having them be aware of thier usage. or maybe thats just a bbw thing an di have that opinion because thats what i experience on dims. also it hard to gage because it all might be taken as a part of an FA trying to show a bbw that he/she finds thier body type desireable. the bbw/fa position throws a lot of curves out there.

i was wondering: how did the women on here who knew about the porn usage find out about it? did you look through his stuff or was he just openly blatant about it? would it have made a difference if you found out in another way?

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Old 09-17-2009, 12:40 AM   #67
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After all this discussion I'm starting to wonder about masturbation itself. If porn were not so readily available, but your SOs still masturbated just as much, would that be an issue? Is it porn or masturbation while in a relationship that is the problem? Is there a limit for people about how much their SOs should masturbate? I'm not talking about mutual masturbation either. If all your SOs viewed porn just as much, but didn't masturbate would that make a difference?
How much control do we want to have over another person? If my partner wanted to watch porn and is still good to me, I do not give shit what he is doing with porn when I am not around. There are things about us that belong to us. I love amateur porn, as it helps me release tension, and I certainly would not apologize to anyone for that desire. Women need to get over feeling slighted, as it is a reflection of insecurity and makes a woman look unattractive.
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Old 09-17-2009, 03:09 AM   #68
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Women need to get over feeling slighted, as it is a reflection of insecurity and makes a woman look unattractive.
Yes! Tell those women what's what! And use that old boogeyman: "You won't be attractive enough!" We certainly need to hear that more. Women do really get too big for our own britches sometimes.
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Old 09-17-2009, 05:25 AM   #69
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How much control do we want to have over another person? If my partner wanted to watch porn and is still good to me, I do not give shit what he is doing with porn when I am not around. There are things about us that belong to us. I love amateur porn, as it helps me release tension, and I certainly would not apologize to anyone for that desire. Women need to get over feeling slighted, as it is a reflection of insecurity and makes a woman look unattractive.
I don't think it's helpful to tell people to just get over it. There are enough people who experience these kinds of feelings to not just dismiss it outright. Like I've mentioned before, enough people have asked me about filming us having sex to cause me to add some substance to the desire itself. The answer is still no mind you but I'm beyond the point of calling someone a nut if this is what they ask for.
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Old 09-17-2009, 06:15 AM   #70
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Women need to get over feeling slighted, as it is a reflection of insecurity and makes a woman look unattractive.
I disagree. As a partner in a relationship, each person should be aware of their partner's insecurities and not exacerbate them by participating in behavior that makes them worse; if I know my partner is sensitive about something, the last thing I'm going to tell them is "get over it" because I want to get my yaya's and damn them and their oversensitivity.

Telling a woman to "get over it" because it makes her look ugly not only doesn't help, but can potentially hurt. A woman who feels insecure doesn't need someone to tell her her behavior makes her look unattractive. What she needs is understanding and support, something one would hope she'd get from other women, on a protected BBW forum.

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Old 09-17-2009, 08:27 AM   #71
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How much control do we want to have over another person? If my partner wanted to watch porn and is still good to me, I do not give shit what he is doing with porn when I am not around. There are things about us that belong to us. I love amateur porn, as it helps me release tension, and I certainly would not apologize to anyone for that desire. Women need to get over feeling slighted, as it is a reflection of insecurity and makes a woman look unattractive.
katherine, I normally agree with much of what you say, but this rubs me the wrong way. What I think is that we far too often deny our true feelings or tell ourselves that we don't "deserve" to have them, or try like hell to arrive at some kind of compromise that usually ends up being one-sided as hell. What I'd advise a woman who is struggling with her partner's porn usage is to first identify WHY she feels so strongly about it, and if it's a deal-breaker for her. I don't think she needs to spend much time second-guessing herself and telling herself that her man deserves his "me" time and if she complains, she's going to look unattractive to him. If the issue truly is something to do with her self-esteem (she worries that he doesn't find her as attractive as the air-brushed eagerly moaning goddesses of pornlandia) then yes, that's something that she needs to work on: WITH HER MAN'S ASSISTANCE. There is nothing wrong with telling your partner that you feel insecure and to seek reassurance. If some kind of resolution can be made that allows him to continue surfing and her to feel OK with it ... great. If not, then she needs to determine if the issue truly is a deal-breaker. Only then ... if she decides to stay in the relationship despite having no resolution of the issue ... is she in any way culpable for problems that eventually arise from her stifling those emotions while he continues to enjoy his one-sided relationship with his porn.

A lot of women object to porn for various reasons, not always having to do with how they view themselves. My sisters are against it for religious reasons. While I don't share their opinions, I respect them (and their husbands do, too). I have another relative who is having major issues with her husband's porn usage, which extends far beyond recreational use and goes into what appears to be a big problem for him -- he can't be intimate with her, he is extremely secretive about it, and no matter how many times he promises to stop (with aid of therapy or through sheer willpower alone) he never does. Eventually, she'll catch him furtively wanking to a magazine in the bathroom -- after turning her down because he was "too tired" or she'll see the tell-tale signs of a television being watched in their RV outside the home (again, after he claims that his back is too sore or he's just too depressed or ... the list of reasons go on ... and on). To me, the problem is that she hasn't gotten fed up enough. She won't assert herself. She won't make it a "use it and lose me" issue. She just swallows her hurt and anger and sense of bewilderment yet one more time, accepts his vow that it won't happen again (knowing better) and loses just one more bit of herself in the process.

Over the years, I've adopted an outlook that works well for me. It is: I look after myself first, my child second, my husband third. It may seem incredibly selfish and in a way ... ok, yeah, it is. But I am mentally healthy, happy with my life, and this makes me far more able to give back to my loved ones. I grew up watching my mother lose herself to a man who just didn't care. I vowed that this would never happen to me. It hasn't. Maybe I swung too far to the other side of that -- it is difficult for me to express vulnerability to anyone, including my husband. But ... it works. Part of that equation is this: If my husband was doing something that I didn't like or couldn't accept, we'd sit down and have a "come to Jeebus" talk about it. If that didn't work, and I was unhappy with the lack of results, I would probably leave him and I wouldn't spend a lot of time second-guessing myself. I do love him, very much -- but I don't need him. I think that too many women put up with far too much crap because they tell themselves that they cannot be happy alone or that they need their man for various practical & emotional reasons. I think that when [the general] you learn to trust your own judgment and value yourself at least as much as your loved ones, you can let go of that illusion.

If the issue in my marriage was porn, and I objected to my husband using it (for WHATEVER reason), I would tell him that it's the porn or me. He'd know that it's not an empty threat. Whether that would mean he'd stop using it... I don't know. But it would cut through a lot of very painful future drama that would probably result in a separation, anyway -- because if I felt that I couldn't trust him, I'd leave him.
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Old 09-17-2009, 09:08 AM   #72
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She just swallows her hurt and anger and sense of bewilderment yet one more time, accepts his vow that it won't happen again (knowing better) and loses just one more bit of herself in the process.

I think that too many women put up with far too much crap because they tell themselves that they cannot be happy alone or that they need their man for various practical & emotional reasons. I think that when [the general] you learn to trust your own judgment and value yourself at least as much as your loved ones, you can let go of that illusion.
Nothing to do with porn, I just needed to read this today.
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Old 09-17-2009, 09:26 AM   #73
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Over the years, I've adopted an outlook that works well for me. It is: I look after myself first, my child second, my husband third. It may seem incredibly selfish
I think it is only selfish if you know that your husband is putting you before himself, so that you know you are the priority for both of you, and he isn't for either of you. Stereotypically you have guys who put themselves first, and women who put everyone else in front of themselves, but I'm sure it works out in all sorts of permutations in different relationships.

I'm sure that ties back into the porn discussion somehow, but I'm not feeling clever enough to make the link at the moment.
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Old 09-23-2009, 01:33 AM   #74
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for some people there is no compromise on this issue--- i think its unfair that women who are against porn tend to be made to feel that there is something wrong with them----

you have a right to your feelings----if you are open and honest about the way it makes you feel, its on the SO to end it if they can't give it up===
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Old 09-23-2009, 04:24 AM   #75
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I had no problem with my ex looking at porn when I wasn't in the mood to do anything. That was until one time he denied me sex because he decided he would rather look at porn. Story gets even better, he MADE ME leave MY bedroom so he could masturbate. I tell you what, he REALLY knew how to make a girl feel special.
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