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Old 09-22-2009, 05:02 PM   #26
Linda
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Originally Posted by Green Eyed Fairy View Post
such as myself allow past abusive people in my life keep hurting me?

If it keeps happening, then it's on me....all of it. I'm not excusing the abuser/wrongdoer.....just asking....how does a person get out of these cycles? How does a person change to something stronger?

I keep thinking I have changed....and it's like a slap in the head to realize I have lost ground again.

What should I do differently?

Advice? Opinions? Experiences? Comments in general?

I think it is because it's familiar. Familiar=comfortable. Taking a step into the unknown is uncomfortable and scary. I myself was caught in this vicious cycle for far too long until I figure out it was all my fault.

I stand up taller, I put a smile on my face and I make sure I remind myself every single day that I am worth it and that life can be great. I also force myself to do something new and scary every single day. no matter how small it is. And to tell you the truth...it's working.
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Old 09-22-2009, 07:16 PM   #27
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I think it is because it's familiar. Familiar=comfortable. Taking a step into the unknown is uncomfortable and scary. I myself was caught in this vicious cycle for far too long until I figure out it was all my fault.

I stand up taller, I put a smile on my face and I make sure I remind myself every single day that I am worth it and that life can be great. I also force myself to do something new and scary every single day. no matter how small it is. And to tell you the truth...it's working.
I really liked that part, thank you
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Old 09-23-2009, 01:22 AM   #28
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i don't agree that it's all on you--- this is really easy to say when i am speaking to someone else, but i say the same thing to myself--- get over it--- its in the past--- but somehow it isn't--- it always hurts

i still haven't found the answer myself, but i think maybe the answer is to never give up looking and trying to find a way--- i think having that goal is important as long as you dont give up on it

i know its hard--- and i send lots of love your way
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Old 09-23-2009, 11:40 AM   #29
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Caroline, you are one very intelligent lady you always do what is best for your and your kids! People don't change, not very much anyway, so born an asshole they will die one too! You have to want to change and some just don't care. If I can be of any help to you never hesitate to reach out to me.
Take care sweety, Paul

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Originally Posted by Green Eyed Fairy View Post
Yes, MizzSnakeBite....my ex has pulled that sympathy card on me more than once. Last time it was going into rehab and "wanting to change" blah blah blah.

His problems go beyond alcohol, I realize now. He was just born an asshole that hurts/uses people without a second thought.

Lots of people in the world seem to be so content/comfortable in their usery. How do they live with themselves?


@Katherine- Thank you Sweetie. You are correct. It's not a straight line....it's more ability to keep on going
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Old 09-23-2009, 08:27 PM   #30
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Originally Posted by 00 toni lynn 00 View Post
i don't agree that it's all on you--- this is really easy to say when i am speaking to someone else, but i say the same thing to myself--- get over it--- its in the past--- but somehow it isn't--- it always hurts

i still haven't found the answer myself, but i think maybe the answer is to never give up looking and trying to find a way--- i think having that goal is important as long as you dont give up on it

i know its hard--- and i send lots of love your way
Quote:
Originally Posted by pjbbwlvr View Post
Caroline, you are one very intelligent lady you always do what is best for your and your kids! People don't change, not very much anyway, so born an asshole they will die one too! You have to want to change and some just don't care. If I can be of any help to you never hesitate to reach out to me.
Take care sweety, Paul
Thanks so much for caring/responding, both of you. What nice people I have found on the internet...nicer than some I have met in my reality.
You are both so very kind
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"The longing of my heart is a fairy portrait of myself: I want to be pretty; I want to eliminate facts and fill up the gap with charms."

"See these eyes so green, I can stare for a thousand years, Colder than the moon
It's been so long and I've been putting out fire with gasoline"
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