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View Poll Results: How do you feel about your lady watching porn?
I don't care one bit- long as she leaves my stuff alone 38 42.22%
I prefer it's stuff that we both like and watch together 13 14.44%
If she keeps it a secret and doesn't flaunt it, then it's okay with me. 7 7.78%
I want to choose what she watches. 1 1.11%
She's only allowed to watch it with me when I feel like it. 3 3.33%
She is the one that always wants to use it during sex- not me. 1 1.11%
It's a great aphrodisiac- sex is better with it. 12 13.33%
I like using it.....but I'm not comfortable with her using it. 1 1.11%
I watch it when she's not around...she should do the same for me. 13 14.44%
Porn is not acceptable while she is having a relationship with me. 1 1.11%
Voters: 90. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 09-10-2009, 08:49 PM   #1
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Default HER Pornage Usery- Your FEELINGS

This is the sister thread to the first one started on the BBW board discussing how women feel about their guys using/viewing porn materials.

Click on this link to see it:
http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/fo...ad.php?t=63798

Women....some of us use it, too.....(well not MOI of course...but anyway )

How does it make you feel when/if your Significant Other uses porn in your relationship? Some couples use it together, I suspect. Does your Lady use it without you? Does it make you feel like you aren't doing something right?
Do you think she has a porn addiction?

Wondering about the viewpoint of the menfolk - from the opposite angle.

And just like the other thread.....any and all constructive replies are welcome.
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Old 09-10-2009, 09:27 PM   #2
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I haven't met that many women who are into porn. I briefly dated a woman who was into gay porn--she said the guys were hotter. It didn't really bother me at all. Even the fact that what she considered "hotter" was younger, prettier, and more muscular than I wasn't that big of an insult.

However, I'll admit, if that relationship had blossomed, and she was spending her nights [what is a feminine synonym for fapping?] to "Full Metal Jack-off" at the expense of our sex life I would have a problem.

A quickie to relieve tension? Fine. Something to do when I'm not around? Cool.

Facilitate while she watches? No. Probably not. There a couple lines there that are outside my comfort zone. I certainly would not ask a woman to do the same for me.
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Old 09-10-2009, 10:00 PM   #3
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Default

Haha! I was headed over here to see about starting a thread after you posted your wish on the BBW Board. Then I thought maybe an FA would've started it. Then I saw you did!

Gooooood thread, my lady friend.
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Old 09-12-2009, 05:06 AM   #4
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Default

Thankee Fasc

Hoping it gets a lot of input from the guys. This could be interesting....

Added a poll. If there is not an option up there to your liking, then please feel free to just express your different opinion/ideal in a thread post
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Last edited by Green Eyed Fairy; 09-12-2009 at 05:12 AM.
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Old 09-12-2009, 08:19 AM   #5
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I am fine with a partner watching porn as long as it is legal and doesn't influence sex in a way I am not comfortable with. I would prefer if we are into the same stuff, but there is so little porn I like that this is not realistic. I won't dictate what she gets off to, but she should have the good sense NOT to tell me if she is watching something that might trigger one of my many angry rants (eg. defloration, nonconsent, racial stereotypes, til-the-male-lead-walks-in faux-lesbian porn).

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Old 09-12-2009, 09:52 AM   #6
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An individual has no right to police their partner's recreational materials.

If it turns out she's a big Twilight fan, then I might consider heading for the hills, but porn is no problem.

I won't watch it with her, but that has more to do with my preferences regarding erotic material than the relationship.
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Originally Posted by exile in thighville View Post
all we ask is that those without fetishes respect the notion that the vast majority of fetish-havers know how to reconcile their kink with the dangers of reality just as you would assume your next door neighbor is not a pedophile.
Where there's smoke, there's a smoke-making machine.

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Old 09-12-2009, 01:24 PM   #7
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzy Necromancer View Post
An individual has no right to police their partner's recreational materials.
If these recreational materials interfere with the quality of a relationship, I'd say the "individual" is directly affected by it and has every right to make his feelings about it known, wouldn't you say?
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Old 09-12-2009, 01:50 PM   #8
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Default True......

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzy Necromancer View Post
An individual has no right to police their partner's recreational materials.....snipped......
That's true. "In a good relationship, neither partner should
mind trading places with the other" Inappropriate porn
usage, however, can ruin a relationship and give his/her
partner a good reason to leave.
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Old 09-12-2009, 04:48 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pdgujer148 View Post
[what is a feminine synonym for fapping?]
The first usage of the term "fap" that I am familiar with comes from the sadly defunct webcomic Sexy Losers. The onomatopoeic expression that the author used for female masturbation was "shlick." Example. (NSFW/NSFL)
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Old 09-12-2009, 05:51 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzy Necromancer View Post
An individual has no right to police their partner's recreational materials.

If it turns out she's a big Twilight fan, then I might consider heading for the hills, but porn is no problem.

I won't watch it with her, but that has more to do with my preferences regarding erotic material than the relationship.
AGREE! reminds me of a ex i used to have that didnt want me to play video games AT ALL period. lets just say she is a ex for a reason.
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Old 09-12-2009, 09:03 PM   #11
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Yeah. As long as it isn't coming between the two, wanting to control someone else's viewing seems insecure and unattractive to me.
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Old 09-13-2009, 12:29 PM   #12
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If it's ok with GEF, I'd like to add a secondary question:

What would happen if you found out that your gf/wife regularly looked at porn (or sexy-but-not-pornographic) pics of men who were way fatter than you?
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Old 09-13-2009, 01:05 PM   #13
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How could any one complain about the SO being ready to go when you get home from work? Porn is GREAT!

In all seriousness, I can't really see much of a problem if she has her collection of porn; it can provide ideas to enhance fantasies and activities. As long as it fuels her imagination and desire, we can either enjoy it together or solo when the SO isn't available. If it makes our activities more enjoyable, I won't have a problem being the Most Valuable Customer at Cockstroker Video, complete with my picture over the Adult movie section...yes, that picture on the left.

Of course, if our activities require the services of an attorney, cause embarassment or pain to others, or ends in an arrest, then we might have a problem. Same goes for neglecting the demands of daily life; no one wants to hear, 'honey, I had to let that 9 to 5 job go; Pornhub is running a contest this week!' I think a relationship is in serious trouble when the SO enters the house and it appears to be a drug den, complete with week old trash and rats everywhere, curtains drawn and no sounds except for the woman who clearly hasn't gotten up except to change the batteries in her toys.
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Old 09-13-2009, 01:17 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Melian View Post
If it's ok with GEF, I'd like to add a secondary question:

What would happen if you found out that your gf/wife regularly looked at porn (or sexy-but-not-pornographic) pics of men who were way fatter than you?
I think a lot of the point of porn is a departure from reality. I would pretty much expect that any porn actors would look different from me. As long as it didn't affect our sex life, I would be cool with it.
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Old 09-13-2009, 10:47 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marlowegarp View Post
As long as it didn't affect our sex life, I would be cool with it.
What if your sex life was OK but the fantasizing affected other parts of your SO's life? For instance, what if it was taking time away from her work or other responsibilities/commitments? Would you be cool with that, too?
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Old 09-13-2009, 11:03 PM   #16
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I suppose not entirely, but managing work life and other individual commitments would be her concern, just as my time management problems would be my own. Has porn ever made me late for work? Yep. So has sex with a significant other. Priorities I guess.
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Old 09-13-2009, 11:15 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marlowegarp View Post
I suppose not entirely, but managing work life and other individual commitments would be her concern, just as my time management problems would be my own. Has porn ever made me late for work? Yep. So has sex with a significant other. Priorities I guess.
lol I'm assuming you're not even close to thinking about being in a long-term relationship with someone, of the co-habitatin' kind where you're both equally responsible for certain things.

Managing work life would be her concern? If your SO gets fired for poor performance and you lose half a household's income, I'll show you how quickly it is both people's concern. And mmm, if she's spending time online that she should be spending talking to the kids' teacher or something... No, that wouldn't be a problem.
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Old 09-14-2009, 05:24 AM   #18
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lol I'm assuming you're not even close to thinking about being in a long-term relationship with someone, of the co-habitatin' kind where you're both equally responsible for certain things.

Managing work life would be her concern? If your SO gets fired for poor performance and you lose half a household's income, I'll show you how quickly it is both people's concern. And mmm, if she's spending time online that she should be spending talking to the kids' teacher or something... No, that wouldn't be a problem.
Umm...did that happen to you? That seems like an extreme, Maury-type scenario.

Firstly, you would be correct in assuming that I don't want children, buuut...that's about it. Do you call your SO's boss to make sure everything's cool? I hope not. Co-habitation between two adults doesn't mean one gets to make calls like that for the other.

And equally responsible for what things? Honestly, I feel like you asked the question with a specific anti-porn "right answer" in mind. Am I wrong? I will concede that I need to wrap this up as I need to go to work. I'm on my third porn warning.
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Old 09-14-2009, 06:05 AM   #19
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And equally responsible for what things? Honestly, I feel like you asked the question with a specific anti-porn "right answer" in mind.
Nah. Just a reality check. Just having a convo with you. You know?

Quote:
Am I wrong?
Yes. Definitely.

Quote:
I will concede that I need to wrap this up as I need to go to work. I'm on my third porn warning.
Ha! Your pimp keeps you in strong check, don't he? It's odd he doesn't want you into the whole porn thing. What moral ground has he to stand on? But business is business, I guess...

Oh, just kidding you, you big galoot.

Have a good day gnashing your teeth at the anti-porn brigade that lives in your head!
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Old 09-14-2009, 02:07 PM   #20
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Doesn't matter to me, I am used to the woman dreaming of someone other then me. Someday I'll be dreamable.
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Old 09-14-2009, 02:33 PM   #21
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1) This is all in the context that to the best of my knowledge my wife does not use porn (although I make a point of not trying to further my knowledge in this regard).

2) Anything that significantly interferes with handling life can obviously be an issue. In my mind most people use porn in a way which either doesn't interfere or actually enhances their ability to handle life. But obviously there are exceptions. If it started to interfere, sure we'd have to talk about it. Trying to say more would be all speculation, as things could go off in all sorts of directions.

3) At the risk of falling into stereotypes, I've heard more complaints from guys about their female SO being into some form of pap romance....harlequin romances, endless romantic comedies, or the like. I think that falls under point 2. To me the issue is the effect on living life well, rather than the source (effect is what matters to me more than source).

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Originally Posted by Melian View Post
What would happen if you found out that your gf/wife regularly looked at porn (or sexy-but-not-pornographic) pics of men who were way fatter than you?
4) Personally I'd be freaking delighted to find out that she had an FFA side I'd not fully discovered, and would start dropping hints about how I might achieve such a physique

I might be more bothered if she was always mooning over pics of super-buff guys. But I long ago accepted that I don't have a physique to set women's hormones surging, so it would essentially be confirmation of what I already assume. I'd rather not have all doubt removed, but sometimes that is just how life is.

5) Just generally I think that it is unlikely that any one person will totally match and fulfill any other person's sexuality. We all have our own areas of interest and dis-interest. Obviously you need your sexualities to have enough over-lap to keep things interesting. How you handle the un-matched parts so that they don't become a problem is an individual thing. Some couples will be able to stretch to partially provide to their partners, some will manage to suppress or ignore them, others will use porn or other sources of stimulation to scratch those itches. My wife finds nothing erotic about fat, while she has some things that turn her crank that leave me totally cold. So we each have our own 'thing' to handle on our own. Our responsibility to the relationship is to handle it without hurting the relationship.
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Last edited by Tad; 09-14-2009 at 02:36 PM. Reason: cut down on the personal detail.
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Old 09-14-2009, 03:02 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by Fascinita View Post



Yes. Definitely.

Ha! Your pimp keeps you in strong check, don't he? It's odd he doesn't want you into the whole porn thing. What moral ground has he to stand on? But business is business, I guess...

Oh, just kidding you, you big galoot.

Have a good day gnashing your teeth at the anti-porn brigade that lives in your head!
Of course I gnash my teeth! I work with the public!
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Old 09-14-2009, 03:20 PM   #23
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@GEF - I don't know if any of my ex gfs had much of a porn habit.. They didn't share if so.. Now.. if that one ex gf had been schlicking (@StarWitness - I fuckin loved Sexy Losers! So funny!) all those weekday nights - when she said she went to bed early instead of seeing me, cos she was tired from work.. Well then i woulda been totally gutted... Pretty damn sure not tho! :P Her job did exhaust her... I have written porny stories to order for my ex's in the past.. Either in absentia for a long distance gf.. or aurally on the fly "en friggante al digitale" to help her "O" when I could tell thoughts of paperwork on a Sunday morning were distracting her from joy.. On the whole I'd be cool with gf being into porn* and would be up for playing with /doing for her while she watched her chosen vid... Altho I'm mostly dom there's a reason I have "switch" in my handle.. Brings me neatly@Melian- no I'd be cool with gf scoping the SSBHMs as long as she was getting off on what lil chub I've got when we're together.. I wouldn't want to feel I had nothing of the thing that most dings her bell.. I can accept that other guys might have more... And if she wants to look sometimes and get off then no biggy..... *Nothing illegal and no shit, nor violence..
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Old 09-14-2009, 03:28 PM   #24
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The question about the people in the porn being fatter....it could also be flipped into thinner.

What if the SO gave you reason to believe that she PREFERRED watching the porn over sex with you? Would you deem it a problem then?
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Old 09-14-2009, 03:29 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by joswitch View Post
I wouldn't want to feel I had nothing of the thing that most dings her bell.. I can accept that other guys might have more... And if she wants to look sometimes and get off then no biggy.....
You could put on some weight for her and you'd BOTH win. Let's face it, when one likes fat, nothing but a mountain of it will do. And if you can't or won't get fatter, wouldn't your GF then be entitled to "look" more than just "sometimes" (as in, "just about every chance she got"!)? After all, she likes what she likes. And she needs it to be happy.
'
The more I think about it, the more I think this relationship is doomed. Better go find a GF who's not as inflexible in what she likes.
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Last edited by Fascinita; 09-14-2009 at 03:43 PM.
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