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Old 09-12-2009, 08:15 AM   #1
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Default Paysite models-Shaping your experiences?

I was wondering about how many people think that paysite models have shaped their expectations/experiences of fat women in real life (or non models online)??
I know that for many Fas, Paysite models are the first port of call in internet experiences with bbws.

I have noticed a few first time posters making a few gaffs in regards to how they talk about and talk to women. For instance, Pming women they dont know asking " how much do you weigh" or saying "I want to rub your fat belly"..etc (you know the gaffs). I'm wondering if these mistakes are co-related to watching porn and thinking that this kind of talk turns on every fat woman in the world.

Also, there seems to be a sort of unrealistic assumption from many that fat women should be nothing but super confident, and when women discuss anything which deviates from this they are met with dissmissal.

I want to make it clear i have nothing against paysite models (and know people who 'do porn' lol), i just think it is possible that some Fa's confuse fantasy with reality sometimes, to their detriment.
What do you think?
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Old 09-12-2009, 09:39 AM   #2
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Originally Posted by mergirl View Post
I have noticed a few first time posters making a few gaffs in regards to how they talk about and talk to women. For instance, Pming women they dont know asking " how much do you weigh" or saying "I want to rub your fat belly"..etc (you know the gaffs). I'm wondering if these mistakes are co-related to watching porn and thinking that this kind of talk turns on every fat woman in the world.
Long before Al Gore invented the Internet, there were assholes. Before they could pm women they insulted them verbally -- and not just fat women, either. At one time there was a C&W song entitled, "If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body, Would You Hold It Against Me?" In some quarters* this is considered the equivalent of Oscar Wilde at his wittiest. I suspect this happens more online, less because of paysite goddesses and more because the jerks know they're out of slapping range.


*bars, mostly
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Old 09-12-2009, 09:56 AM   #3
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yessum. Arseholes are arseholes. I'm talking specifically in the fat/fa 'scene'. Maby, its the same all over though..mixing up fantasy with reality.
I have the distinct impression that there will be a few people with their expectations crumbling when they get their first bbw girlfriend and she doesn't giggle, popping out of her clothes while eating cream cakes and rubbing her belly orgasmically.
Even if the fantasy v's reality divide is not so extreme, i still think the confidence of many bbws can be over estimated. I see it here and i have seen it in real life. Its like Fas are anoyed when women do not utterly revel in their fat. (Not all Fas of course)
I just see such a big divide between what seems to be expected of big women by fas somehow and the emotions, feelings and reality of the big women themselves.
I think seperating the fantasy from the reality would really help newer Fa's not to get bashed and would help the women on this site to feel less objectified. Though, maby that is an impossibility here anyway...
It was just something i was thinking about.
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Old 09-12-2009, 12:38 PM   #4
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Great thread! I think Wrestlingguy and SuperO made relevant, well-thought out comments on the Porn thread (link).

I have always found it easy enough to separate fantasy from reality. The paysite I first suscribed to (Her First Fat Girl, before the suscription came with her more typical Playhouse site) isn't that different from regular porn. Made up girls, hot sex, with little focus on the fat. If anything, having grown up in a horribly fat-phobic place, having a distorted body image myself and knowing some awfully depressed fat people with health and mobility issues, I was skeptical of what I saw on the typical paysites - girls going on and on about how they loooove absolutely everything about being fat, wanting to gain loooots more and how they are so turned on by it all. I didn't doubt that it is possible for BBWs to feel that way, but it just seems so exaggerated. Then again, why broadcast your bad days to admirers who might still struggle with guilt about getting turned on by something many perceive as unhealthy?

Something unique to BBW paysites is that most of the time, you can actually interact with the models so you see them as a real person and not just a fantasy. That might further cloud a guy's judgement - OMG, she is real and always turned on by her rolls and wants more food all the time! If the same guy has never had the courage to ask a fat girl out in real life but spends all his time chatting to models who are well, keeping up with their bubbly paysite persona, then it is not surprising that he develops such distorted views.

We all know that there are many girls who pretend to be into certain sexual acts made normal by porn because they want to impress guys. How many BBWs have actually tried to or felt pressured to emulate what they see on paysites because they think that this is what FAs want?

Last edited by Cors; 09-12-2009 at 12:42 PM.
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Old 09-12-2009, 04:00 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by Dr. Feelgood View Post
Long before Al Gore invented the Internet, there were assholes. Before they could pm women they insulted them verbally -- and not just fat women, either. At one time there was a C&W song entitled, "If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body, Would You Hold It Against Me?" In some quarters* this is considered the equivalent of Oscar Wilde at his wittiest. I suspect this happens more online, less because of paysite goddesses and more because the jerks know they're out of slapping range.


*bars, mostly
I think you make a good point. I don't don't mind getting messages asking how much i weigh, but i notice alot go girls seem to have an issue with it, maybe it is because I'm new, but it is better then guys messaging a sentence that has a 4 letter word starting with "f" in it.

Cors made a good point too, guys get to interact with models, which brings up the question are the models being themselves or are they being a character when they interact? But in saying that surely guys on Dims are smart enough to separate reality from fantasy? or am i giving them to much credit?

I do agree though that there is an unrealistic expectation to be super confident, everyone has certain areas of the body that they wish they could change, i think as long as those areas don't make you hide away from the world then it is ok.
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Old 09-12-2009, 04:06 PM   #6
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I have always wondered also, how the models cope living out in the real world, where day to day people would be abusing them about their weight etc, and not adoring them like they are adored here.
Given that you have to live in the real world most of them time, I think it must be hard and crushing in terms of one's self esteem.

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Old 09-12-2009, 06:01 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by mergirl
I still think the confidence of many bbws can be over estimated. I see it here and i have seen it in real life. Its like Fas are annoyed when women do not utterly revel in their fat.
If a FA's total expectation of BBW reaction is based on the Dimension's Paysite board models before he gets serious about them he has indeed over-estimated confidence levels and will be disillusioned.

Forty years ago I was in the dating market and faced a much more realistic situation as I'd acquired a car and could date whom I wished. The bigger girls were the most surprised that anyone would ask them out and in many cases initially the most suspicious. The idea that my inviting then to this or that was not a "second choice" after being turned down by others but an actual preference for them was something they'd seldom if ever encountered.

Fortunately I think most hard-wired FA's have tested the waters long before finding the Paysite Board. They would likely not have found Dimensions if they hadn't already tried getting involved with larger girls and experienced reality. So they know that the confidence exuded by the Paysite Board girls is not the standard and that those running their businesses there are a special breed.

The good news for FA’s is that there is increasing confidence and assertiveness on the part of BBWs today than in my era. There is also increased awareness of of FA’s who are not fetish driven creeps (yes, we have our stereotype issues to overcome as well). .But there is a lot still to be done.

An excellent topic, btw.
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Old 09-12-2009, 09:06 PM   #8
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I have always wondered also, how the models cope living out in the real world, where day to day people would be abusing them about their weight etc, and not adoring them like they are adored here.
Given that you have to live in the real world most of them time, I think it must be hard and crushing in terms of one's self esteem.

Dims is a special place, a safe space.
Probably depends at what mental state a person is at. You have to deal with the Good folks and the Assholes...

Now by abuse- do you mean assinine comments?...
You just develop a thick skin. At the end you just tell yourself that... "Your Self Worth will not be affected by the comments of some 'stranger' ".

I think there was a thread about the experiences of large folks based on geography (small town vs. city) and that can also have an effect. In most big cities folks may be too wrapped up in their own stuff.
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Old 09-12-2009, 09:18 PM   #9
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At one time there was a C&W song entitled, "If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body, Would You Hold It Against Me?" In some quarters* this is considered the equivalent of Oscar Wilde at his wittiest.
*bars, mostly
I think that people forget that many of Oscar Wilde's witticisms, like Shakespeare's, are not far beyond that level. Both wrote many truly amazing things, but they also wrote a LOT of dick jokes.

ANYWAY, I think that it's like the TV violence argument. Fictional violence affects people, but those that it drives to violence were headed there anyway. Same with porn depicting every BBW as a gluttonous wanton. If people don't get that that is a fantasy, there is some socialization static affecting normal reception.
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Old 09-12-2009, 09:31 PM   #10
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I think there are plenty of models that are happy and confident within themselves and hence they are confident in modelling.
There is some element of fantasy involved in modelling however, in that there are models who suffer health problems and really are not happy within their skin, and even talk about WLS. So in a way they are selling a fantasy.
I think they are even aware of that, in that they know what particular fantasies sell with their intended audience, such as weight gain, and fetish type talk like " Im a little piggy" etc.
It is all part of the fantasy. I cannot imagine any woman knowingly wanting to refer to herself in those terms.
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Old 09-12-2009, 09:32 PM   #11
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I think that people forget that many of Oscar Wilde's witticisms, like Shakespeare's, are not far beyond that level. Both wrote many truly amazing things, but they also wrote a LOT of dick jokes.
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Old 09-12-2009, 09:50 PM   #12
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Old 09-12-2009, 10:55 PM   #13
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I cannot imagine any woman knowingly wanting to refer to herself in those terms.

There are some for sure - I know them. It's their thing, their choice, but any guy who's going to assume that would apply across the board is just a clueless individual - porn or not, model or not, he's a moron to not bother to find out another person's limitations and likes/dislikes.


Most models are just girls who happen to take pictures, nothing more, nothing less. Anyone who spends more than an hour with them will quickly forget that they're models and start realizing who they really ARE, as people. But there's the rub - often no one wants to know more than the image, and that is an issue of the beholder, not the model or their job.
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Old 09-12-2009, 11:20 PM   #14
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There are some for sure - I know them. It's their thing, their choice, but any guy who's going to assume that would apply across the board is just a clueless individual - porn or not, model or not, he's a moron to not bother to find out another person's limitations and likes/dislikes.


Most models are just girls who happen to take pictures, nothing more, nothing less. Anyone who spends more than an hour with them will quickly forget that they're models and start realizing who they really ARE, as people. But there's the rub - often no one wants to know more than the image, and that is an issue of the beholder, not the model or their job.
True.

I am friends with a few girls here who model, through our Facebook pages.
Knowing them in that way, I can say that they are highly intelligent and engaging women.
Buffie comes to mind straight away. She is amazing.
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Old 09-13-2009, 02:43 AM   #15
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There is some element of fantasy involved in modelling however, in that there are models who suffer health problems and really are not happy within their skin, and even talk about WLS. So in a way they are selling a fantasy.
I wonder if perhaps the 'selling of the fantasy'; by which i mean that the model has no health problems, has no problems pertaining to size related issues (except for when it is offered as part of the tittilation) in some ways 'reasures' fas falsely that fat women are not faced with these issues in real life?
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Old 09-13-2009, 03:07 AM   #16
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Great thread! I think Wrestlingguy and SuperO made relevant, well-thought out comments on the Porn thread (link).
Oh cool, cheers Cors, i will have a wee read of that now. x
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Old 09-13-2009, 03:20 PM   #17
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Funny little observation here.........not too many guys weighing in on this subject thus far, except for a few brave souls.

Perhaps this may be a bit too personal and/or sensitive for us boys?
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Old 09-13-2009, 04:03 PM   #18
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Funny little observation here.........not too many guys weighing in on this subject thus far, except for a few brave souls.

Perhaps this may be a bit too personal and/or sensitive for us boys?
Maybe--or maybe it's addressing a fear that we women have rather than something that most of the male FAs are afraid of. I know I worry about being overlooked because I don't fit the fantasy of either side (those who like thinner women and those who like fat) as portrayed in porn and paysites.
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Old 09-14-2009, 02:04 AM   #19
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Funny little observation here.........not too many guys weighing in on this subject thus far, except for a few brave souls.

Perhaps this may be a bit too personal and/or sensitive for us boys?
hmm.. perhaps. Why do you think it IS such a personal/sensitive subject for men? See, i was thinking the same. Porn seems to be a coming of age thing, when guys are realising their sexuality they get to look at women from afar before they have to actually interact with them. I think the fat/fa scene is different. Where else is it as common to be able to interact with your favorite porn star, actually talk to them, see what they think about george bush and bio fuels?. I think people are perhaps reticent on this issue because pay site models here are such an integral part of the community. I certainly don't think it is somehow the paysite model's responsibility to release a disclaimer at the end of every set/vid saying- "Please note-Not all women will want to whoop with joy as they step on the scales after eating lots of cakes". These women are fantasy makers and in many cases erotica 'artists', with as much talent in the art of Fa turn on than any burlesque artist does for the 'regular' punter. See, people can also talk about the positive effect that paysite models have had on them. Perhaps, most Fas know the difference between the fantasy and the reality. Having pmed/msgd a lot of fas in the past 8/9 years i think differently. Though, i'm wondering if my online experiences mirror fa ideals in real life.
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Old 09-14-2009, 02:06 AM   #20
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Maybe--or maybe it's addressing a fear that we women have rather than something that most of the male FAs are afraid of. I know I worry about being overlooked because I don't fit the fantasy of either side (those who like thinner women and those who like fat) as portrayed in porn and paysites.
In what way would you be afraid you dont match up to other fat women who have paysites? (I think this could help define the borders in some ways between fantasy v's reality).
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Old 09-14-2009, 02:47 AM   #21
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I think there are plenty of models that are happy and confident within themselves and hence they are confident in modelling.
There is some element of fantasy involved in modelling however, in that there are models who suffer health problems and really are not happy within their skin, and even talk about WLS. So in a way they are selling a fantasy.
I think they are even aware of that, in that they know what particular fantasies sell with their intended audience, such as weight gain, and fetish type talk like " Im a little piggy" etc.
It is all part of the fantasy. I cannot imagine any woman knowingly wanting to refer to herself in those terms.
Great post. When I date big girls, I always tread carefully because the last thing I want to do is disrespect her. I respect women 100 percent and even though I have a tendency to be attracted to all the padding she is carrying, I always see the person carrying it AS a person, as a woman, who is definatly beautiful. I will call her beautiful and most of the time she will shake her head. I see the dims world as a completly different world, where I feel safe, and where big girls feel safe. I never speak in "dimensions language" to a woman unless she says it is ok, and I would never ask that of a woman. I have only ever met girls from dimensions who actually want you to talk like that.

There are also some elements of dimensions that should remain purely fantasy, as one could argue that applying those to real life could be disrepectful both to himself/herself and his/her partner, and even perhaps foolish.
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Old 09-14-2009, 03:00 AM   #22
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Great post. When I date big girls, I always tread carefully because the last thing I want to do is disrespect her. I respect women 100 percent and even though I have a tendency to be attracted to all the padding she is carrying, I always see the person carrying it AS a person, as a woman, who is definatly beautiful. I will call her beautiful and most of the time she will shake her head. I see the dims world as a completly different world, where I feel safe, and where big girls feel safe. I never speak in "dimensions language" to a woman unless she says it is ok, and I would never ask that of a woman. I have only ever met girls from dimensions who actually want you to talk like that.

There are also some elements of dimensions that should remain purely fantasy, as one could argue that applying those to real life could be disrepectful both to himself/herself and his/her partner, and even perhaps foolish.
Thanks for your post Roddles. What do you mean by 'dimensions language'? Do you mean the kind of stuff i was talking about before? I am wondering if applying the fantasy side to real life could be disrespectful, because many of the fantasies are only ones shared by some of the people here. In what other ways do you think they would be disrespectful? I know that some women might engage and enjoy play that is explored in much of the pornography here though i am guessing many dont. I would guess, actually i know that there would be more fas interested in that kind of fantasy play than fat women would be. I do think paysite models play up to Fa fantasy more often than they do explore and express their own, but then that would make sense, seeing that it is Fas that are paying to watch them.
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Old 09-14-2009, 07:25 AM   #23
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In what way would you be afraid you dont match up to other fat women who have paysites? (I think this could help define the borders in some ways between fantasy v's reality).
It isn't that I don't think I'm as good as them, and I feel like I could deliver pretty well on the fantasy for the right guy--but it's more that I fear (however irrationally) being overlooked in favor of women who feel more available, since that's part of the fantasy they're delivering. And that's the part that I can't deliver to every guy out there--only one.
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Old 09-14-2009, 10:04 AM   #24
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I think you have to have real life experiences with Fat Women.

My Wife for instance never goes on Dims even though she knows I am a frequent visitor, it is just something that doesn't interest her. I think if she could take the thin pill she would in an instant, not because she doesn't love herself or selfhatred but because sometimes being Big is hard Physically.

going up and down stairs ect.

I think Paysite Models really perform an important function for folks to identify who they are and what attracts them. Paysite ladies helped me come to grips with what I like.
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Old 09-14-2009, 11:01 AM   #25
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I was wondering about how many people think that paysite models have shaped their expectations/experiences of fat women in real life (or non models online)??
If I see paysite model i just can say - she is hot(or not), thats all.

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I know that for many Fas, Paysite models are the first port of call in internet experiences with bbws.
For young FA's - you are probably right (and for places where fat girls are very rare).

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I have noticed a few first time posters making a few gaffs in regards to how they talk about and talk to women. For instance, Pming women they dont know asking " how much do you weigh" or saying "I want to rub your fat belly"..etc (you know the gaffs). I'm wondering if these mistakes are co-related to watching porn and thinking that this kind of talk turns on every fat woman in the world.
Mistakes are related to lack of experience.

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Also, there seems to be a sort of unrealistic assumption from many that fat women should be nothing but super confident,
Lack of experience.

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i just think it is possible that some Fa's confuse fantasy with reality sometimes
All people do that from time to time.
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