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Old 09-27-2009, 04:29 PM   #26
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Another thing I've thought many times is that "I am an apple" has FAR different implications than "I am apple-shaped". This is true of many labels; "I am blonde" vs. "I am a blonde", "he's gay" vs. "he's a gay", etc. It's all about describing an aspect of a person rather than categorizing them as an object. The apple/pear/hourglass terminology is great shorthand - it's easy to visualize "I am shaped like a pear", and I don't know that I feel any better about breaking women down into component parts for description than I do about comparing them with an object. I am uncomfortable with "I am a _" because that implies that you are a thing, but having a widely-recognized way of describing an aspect of yourself can be quite useful and not inherently objectifying.
Similarly, "she's a Jew" vs. "she's Jewish", and "he's slutty" versus "he's a slut".
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Old 09-27-2009, 04:43 PM   #27
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Female hacks me off, too...for the same reason Kate mentions. And don't even get me started on the terminology "super sized;" I am not a McDonald's fast food meal dammit! But I digress...

The whole fruit thing confuses me to no end. I don't know if I am an apple (I carry the majority of my weight in my belly, but I don't have the big boobs associated with apples) and I can't really say I am a pear (even though I am carrying around a sizable ass and thighs, I also have large upper arms that kind of balance out.)
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Old 09-27-2009, 04:49 PM   #28
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Yes, my sugary little starfruit!
You saucy kumquat, you!


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As far as the "I resemble/I am" differentiations, I'm not too concerned. Most people - the women especially - use the formats interchangeably and without significance. I think that even the most boneheaded fapper realizes on a basic level that women are not fruit, nor mindless fleshshapes. Even if he doesn't, I don't see how arguing over the subtleties of terminology are going to accomplish anything save restricting us from the freedom of using good words with communicative value - even the terms "woman" or "human female" as he understands them are going to be pejorative to us.

I dig what you're saying. That's why for me the emphasis is on what I "answer to." In terms of the history of usage of particular words, some are more loaded than others (and all hinge on difference, which always privileges power, mostly assigning power to the phallic.) So though I see these words as inherently malleable, I'm not particularly vested in the idea of reclaiming them for more neutral usages, myself, if only because the idea itself of classifying women aesthetically has historically worked out not so well for women. I think you're proposing something like a mathematical usage, a familiar way to describe organic geometry (lol, I cracked myself up at that.) And that's cool. I don't not like it in those terms. I use "bottom-heavy" and "thick around the middle" myself--not exactly elegant, but they feel less loaded with the assumption of the male gaze for me.
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Old 09-27-2009, 05:31 PM   #29
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Hm, I guess I never really thought too much about the fruit thing. It bothers me when guys have a post looking for a certain type of women, but it's not really about the fruit.. it's about a person coming onto this site who only has 3 posts looking for fap material.. he'd be an asshole whether he used apple/pear or any other terminology.

I think the terms can be useful when talking about clothing and trying to describe how something fits like, "I'm an apple so I need longer shirts to cover my tummy." Or maybe just describing how I have difficulty doing certain things or fitting in certain things due to my shape. It just makes it easier to explain things.
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Old 09-27-2009, 08:56 PM   #30
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Wait, thin women are referred to fruit? Really? I've honestly never heard that, but then I don't read fashion mags. This is honestly news to me. My guy friends have never referred to the women they are attracted to as fruit. They use numbers or just say, "she's hot."

I'd like very much for the fruit labels to not matter at all, but you know, being a fat means going to where the appropriate suitor are, and for all intents and purposes, that means the bbw world, i.e. sites like Dims. Sure one could just avoid the internet and try to meet people in random places in real life, but I would those labels be unknown to people who aren't part of this world really? If Ash and Cors are right about thin women also being referred to as fruit then in a way it's unavoidable.
Hmmm, I don't know. I guess I feel online sites to be pretty limiting when it comes to intimate relationships. I know alot of people feel like that's a safer way of meeting potential partners so I don't want to discount that. I've just personally found ways of meeting on more neutral terms to work better...to my benefit.

I mean, I'm a lesbian so I don't really have a super large dating pool if I were still playing the field...but I don't feel so limited to just rely on sites where I think other gay women are. I realize the whole of butches/femmes/etc aren't on the web; I could have found one in a cafe, a library, or a myriad of other places. So that's why I don't really take things I see online so seriously. I don't really think it reflects real life; and certainly nothing about me. If a person likes hourglass shaped women, cool. If not, that's fine too. I don't take it personally as if there is something wrong/defective with me because I'm not someone's cup of tea. I keeps it movin'.



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Old 09-27-2009, 09:11 PM   #31
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the designations don't bother me. what does bother me is when an FA is talking to a BBW who is obviously not his fruity preference and he is driven to tell her. why? on my mean days if i encounter someone like that i might return the favor by saying what i find attractive thats obvious not one of his attributes to see what kind of reaction i get--well all i can say is the double standard is obvious. i guess empathy or the golden rule is not something readily obvious to everyone *sigh*.
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Old 09-27-2009, 09:34 PM   #32
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Lol @ his fruity preference. Classic.
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Old 09-27-2009, 10:18 PM   #33
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I am not real sure what I am..I know I am not a pear but hell I am not really an apple either..So I guess I am a kumquat..All I know is my ass sticks out nearly as far in the back and my stomach does in the front..So yeah I am a kumquat!

I don't mind the reference..(was going to say something smartazz here but will be nice) I have been known to do it at times..
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Old 10-14-2009, 12:41 AM   #34
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Awhile back in a post a guy used the term "violin hips." The rest of the post was the stuff of trolls, but there was something about that term I liked. It sounds softer than hour-pear or some combination of that. Violas run a little bigger than violins, so that's how I've thought of my shape ever since reading that.

If we're going to be called shapes, I think violin/viola should be added to the lexicon.

(A post in the thread over on the Fat Sexuality board just reminded me about this, but posting it here seemed more appropriate.)

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Old 10-14-2009, 09:32 AM   #35
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Yep, the fruit term is definitely used with thin women, but pretty much only in the realm of fashion / fit, where I think it actually serves a purpose, sort of a shorthand to describe fit.

I think that for men who like thin women...they use the terms, "I'm a breast man, an ass man, or "fill - in - the - blank" man, when referring to what shapes they prefer, rather than referring to fruit shapes. Don't know why FA's just don't do the same?
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Old 10-14-2009, 09:55 AM   #36
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I just hate the expression "gone pear-shaped." As if my body has somehow gone horribly wrong! What do people have against pears anyway? lol
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Old 10-14-2009, 10:37 AM   #37
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I've always assumed the phrase "gone pear-shaped" was a horrible and subtle reference to these: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pope%27s_Pear
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Old 10-14-2009, 06:37 PM   #38
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I've always assumed the phrase "gone pear-shaped" was a horrible and subtle reference to these: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pope%27s_Pear
Fascinating! I particularly like "the pear of Anguish." lol
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Old 10-14-2009, 08:15 PM   #39
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I don't think I've ever heard the phrase "gone pear-shaped." I can't imagine how using it would make sense either. That's a head scratcher for me.

The idea of a violin or viola is cool, but those instruments remind me of lightness not heaviness....a cello seems more apt to me in both weight and tone. Plus I've always like the cello more than the others.
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Old 10-14-2009, 08:23 PM   #40
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The idea of a violin or viola is cool, but those instruments remind me of lightness not heaviness....a cello seems more apt to me in both weight and tone. Plus I've always like the cello more than the others.
Man Ray's famous photo:
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Old 10-14-2009, 08:29 PM   #41
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Gone Pear Shaped
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Old 10-14-2009, 08:52 PM   #42
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Man Ray's famous photo:
I've seen that photo and didn't even think of it. She does indeed look like a viola.

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Thanks. That actually made some sense. LOL
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Old 10-14-2009, 08:58 PM   #43
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Geez. I'm a freakin' balalaika. Or maybe a bouzouki.
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Old 10-14-2009, 09:32 PM   #44
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Old 10-17-2009, 10:43 AM   #45
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I recently had a memorably offensive conversation with a guy on line who said that fat girls who were anything other than pears were sloppy blobs and should lose the weight cos no man would ever want to go near them. Attitudes like that, and he wasn't the first FA I've come across who had that attitude, make me really, really angry.

Other than this kind of moronic behaviour i don't mind the fruity references at all.
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Old 10-17-2009, 07:09 PM   #46
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I personally just use the fruit/geometric shape description for shopping purposes. I really don't give too much importance or thought to it. I think it's just an easy way of describing our body types when figuring out what styles are flattering.

As far as someone on the internet asking about your shape, it could be inappropriate, it depends on the context. If out of the blue he says "hey baby, you an apple?" I'd be hitting the ignore button. But if your discussing how you look physically, yes, then it's completely appropriate.
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Old 10-17-2009, 08:51 PM   #47
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Since I was born with a waistline of about an inch and a half I will never be a pear..My ribs almost sit on my hipbones..Even if I lost all the weight I could,I still would not have the waistline to be a pear..I guess I could go do like Rachel Welch did and have a few ribs removed to have one..
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Old 10-17-2009, 10:28 PM   #48
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Just a reminder that this is not the Weight Board. Please read the rules before posting.
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Old 10-17-2009, 11:27 PM   #49
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Originally Posted by Tau View Post
I recently had a memorably offensive conversation with a guy on line who said that fat girls who were anything other than pears were sloppy blobs and should lose the weight cos no man would ever want to go near them. Attitudes like that, and he wasn't the first FA I've come across who had that attitude, make me really, really angry.

Other than this kind of moronic behaviour i don't mind the fruity references at all.
Sounds typical of an attitude displayed by some. Basically, if it's not what turns his crank, OR if it's not a body that has been made available to him (by compliance to expectations of his having open access to that body), the person with the attitude has to degrade and reject that body so as to protect his own ego.

This is a useless attitude that reduces people to walking genitals: "I am a penis, therefore women are vaginas. Any vagina that rejects me or which I don't find sexually appealing (any vagina I can't or don't want to "own") is useless to me (since I am a penis I only have use for women as vaginas) and therefore abominable (since I am so deserving and powerful (by dint of being a penis) that only that which I find useful should exist.)"

Fortunately for me, I encounter this attitude far more frequently in the fat-hating sector of the culture than within the halls of fat-loving folks.
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Last edited by Fascinita; 10-17-2009 at 11:30 PM.
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Old 10-26-2009, 08:49 PM   #50
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I think we should just confuse them all and say, "I'm a fruit salad." Maybe then they'd eventually get the hint?

I don't mind when we're talking about clothing because we're not saying we want to have sex with our certain fruity body. lol

I don't know........even if you're pear shaped you could have big boobs, so then what do you call yourself? There has to be a better (and less obnoxious) way to describe the body other than in fruit terms. I cannot stand it when a guy says he's looking for a woman with a pear (or apple, etc) shaped body. That's so demeaning.

I don't like being referred to as any object, especially something you consume, but I guess it's better than a guy saying, "I'm looking for a woman with big tits and a bubble ass."
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