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Old 10-02-2009, 02:29 PM   #26
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Just so we're clear, I'm not on the bandwagon with folks who are making demeaning remarks about a woman's looks on the paysite board. My only point was that in fantasy the emphasis is placed elsewhere.
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Old 10-02-2009, 07:51 PM   #27
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Originally Posted by CurvyEm View Post
I think you have a point. A lot of the people who are paysite models would probably not be considered attractive if they were thin. Yes, a lot are pretty, but a few are ugly, plain or just unattractive. Some are kinda pretty, some are really hot. So I think it's more their fat bodies that attract the men rather than the face.
You're mistaken. Everyone is beautiful and special.

You bring up an interesting point, though, which is that in Men's magazines like Maxim, Playboy, etc... well, a guy never really needs to choose between hot body OR beautiful face.

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You know... I think what Em said could have been worded differently, but... she had a point. I think that for a lot of guys on here, fat really does outweigh a pretty face, and everyone can deny it all they want but... really. What girl in here can honestly say she's never felt that vibe?

However... I also get nervous around non-Fa's, but whenever I've actually voiced that nervous feeling, I've been told that it doesn't matter, because "a hot girl is a hot girl".

So.. who knows.
If I want to wank I might focus on body parts, and I might ignore a face that isn't the most beautiful in the world. But if I want to wake up next to someone and be happy... I like a beautiful face. If I'm taking a girl to dinner I like to look at a beautiful face.

Life isn't so simple, though, and there's very few people that are going to be a '10' in intelligence, looks, body, and soul. But maybe if we love someone enough they'll eventually become that. Or maybe if we love someone enough we don't mind that they're not that. Or maybe if we love someone enough we don't mind that we mind that they're not that. Or maybe we just go on struggling to find that perfect person until we look back and regret what could have been.

My own track record shows me favoring really pretty girls over really big girls, but then again I'm 32 and never been married.
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Old 10-04-2009, 06:43 PM   #28
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To see beauty where popular society doesn't or to be smitten by it when no on aelse around you is. I offen feel out of touch with most men because I don't find what the majority like as lovely or arousing. I love what I love and I see the beauty in ever bbbw or ssbbbw or biggurls ....I can remember when I was young I use to hang outside of Lane Bryants to see the beautiful women.....lol Great topic Super as usual
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Old 10-04-2009, 08:24 PM   #29
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To see beauty where popular society doesn't or to be smitten by it when no on aelse around you is. I often feel out of touch with most men because I don't find what the majority like as lovely or arousing. I love what I love and I see the beauty in ever bbbw or ssbbbw or biggurls ....I can remember when I was young I use to hang outside of Lane Bryants to see the beautiful women.....lol Great topic Super as usual
thank you for your comment. no disrespect to you but thats exactly what i'm talking about in a way. you say " I often feel out of touch with most men because I don't find what the majority like as lovely or arousing." i think a lot of FAs buy into that idea. open your eyes. look around. who are a lot of men married to, in love with, and having plenty of sex on a daily basis with? one big reason BBWs and SSBBWs (even though they are the majority of the population) are difficult to find is because they are married i relationships and living thier lives. even though some have problem marriages like everyone else their SOs love them as much as thin women are loved .

i personally feel that even though some men are not originally FAs they become like FAs and appreciate a woman for what she is cellulite and all. i have expereinced that and not the distaste that a lot of people will assume would come my way. there is a lot of sexual curiousity about women who are fat simply because in general our bodies have not been seen very much, until recently, in a sexual way. now the BBW porn interest is at number 3 in the industry. all of those people are not what dimsfolk might think of as FAs. but its clearly evident by where they spend thier time and money that they don't find women who are fat disgusting.

i've met a lot of men who never thought they'd be with a woman who was fat. not because they thought they were actually unattractive but because media said women who were fat were undesireable. but as they had experiences they found that they liked it and that women who were fat were beautiful overall--not just thier faces but thier bodies as well. there are even men here who were not "born" FAs but discovered something during thier journey through experiencing life. i think a lot of men are kind of talked down if they say that a woman who is fat is attractive. a lot would rather just keep thier personal interests out of the public arena since they feel thier sex life is no one's business but thiers. i get a feeling that a lot of people who lurk here and only look at the paysites are not the trolls people necessarily think they are. i have the idea that there might just be a lot of guys who have a significant other who lacks that kind of body confidence because they believe the media. they probably just come to look at someone who reminds them of the beautiful woman they love who is ashamed to show herself. but they won't contact anyone because they never have any intention of cheating on her. they put this place where it belongs. its just a bit of private fantasy for them and thats all.

i think it might be a mistake to take what the media says or to take bar talk too seriously. a lot of men say what they think they are expected to say among other men but thier heart/practice is different. as far as i can see statistics don't bear you or the media out. i wonder if good hard numbers could convince anyone? i'm not sure. sometimes besides fetish there is also a kind of fantastical romance attached to fat admiration. "no one wants her but me" i am the only man who will have her" i will save her from hating herself with my admiration". i'm not sure its a good idea to keep that fantasy going unless you realize its just a fantasy. its a nice thought in a way but there is an underlying assumption that someone is undesireable when they really aren't. as someone said on the thread " a hot girl is a hot girl". beautiful women get noticed wherever they go by all men. in fact if she looks at it that way, being a gorgeous BBW may even make you more attractive because there is more to be attracted to. i know you meant your comment in a good spirited way but i think you really need to think about what you might be saying about women you find beautiful and even yourself. you might want to think about whether your not more attracted to the idea seeming odd, different and maybe kinky than you are to the actual woman who happens to be a BBW.

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Old 10-14-2009, 08:17 PM   #30
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Just have another simple answer garnered from my own experience as a fat woman.
No.
Men that approach me through some means usually tell me I'm pretty, beautiful, lovely, etc. Seeing how I am far from thin, even if they don't identify themselves as "FA", they have to meet some of the criteria to be after a woman that is over 250 lbs.

The only parallel I can make here is it's like the objectification topic. If a guy spends all his time staring at my chest or asking for nude pictures/cam times, I tend to get annoyed and ixnay him off my list quickly.
He better find something better to say and a better approach or I just start feeling like fap material/body parts.

Why would a woman entertain time with a potential suitor that doesn't tell her she is pretty? Or at least say something positive about what he is attracted to. A guy that just immediately starts talking about fat, body parts, etc is just talking about his best friend aka his penis. He's not interested in you as a person. If you are interested in something besides just his peen, then he might not be the best person to spend your time talking to. He's communicated loud and clear what he is after.....it's your call to accept or deny his "offer".

I'm spinning this around in the wash cycle of my brain and think that, once again, it's not FA centric. Any man (or woman) can treat you that way....irregardless of preference.

I'm fearing I oversimplified maybe? Did I misread the question? I just don't perceive FAs as really being any different than other men. They just have a different preference from what is considered "usual".
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Old 10-14-2009, 09:20 PM   #31
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I don't think prurient objectification and perceived beauty are mutually exclusive. Even when there is separation, I don't it's necessarily a fetish thing or an FA thing to fap over parts, as GEF mentioned.

I don't think anyone who's been into my body hasn't been into my face, too. If anything, I always felt that my body was more of a liability than my face was, being covered with stretch marks or having deformed breasts or having a messed up midriff blob or what have you. Although, this is beginning to change now that I have massive eyebags and the allergies are starting to make my eyes swell and line like crazy. I'm also NOT fond of my neck/jawline. Seems like I absolutely canNOT take an acceptable face photo anymore.
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Old 10-14-2009, 09:27 PM   #32
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Originally Posted by CurvyEm View Post
I think you have a point. A lot of the people who are paysite models would probably not be considered attractive if they were thin. Yes, a lot are pretty, but a few are ugly, plain or just unattractive. Some are kinda pretty, some are really hot. So I think it's more their fat bodies that attract the men rather than the face.
I second that.... and its really unfortunate, though. It should be more than just the rolls, more than just the fat that makes them want to wack their stuff.
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Old 10-15-2009, 06:01 AM   #33
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" I think you have a point. A lot of the people who are paysite models would probably not be considered attractive if they were thin. Yes, a lot are pretty, but a few are ugly, plain or just unattractive. Some are kinda pretty, some are really hot. So I think it's more their fat bodies that attract the men rather than the face. "

The "butterface" syndrome is not limited by body type and size.

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Old 10-15-2009, 04:38 PM   #34
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" I think you have a point. A lot of the people who are paysite models would probably not be considered attractive if they were thin. Yes, a lot are pretty, but a few are ugly, plain or just unattractive. Some are kinda pretty, some are really hot. So I think it's more their fat bodies that attract the men rather than the face. "

The "butterface" syndrome is not limited by body type and size.

Tracy
I dunno. There are women I find absolutely stunning who seem to be ignored by many, and others who strut around as though they're irresistible (note these are always thin), and i don't get the attraction. Is there a universal set of criteria for beauty? i don't know. I think it's possible that some people might cross different boundaries of taste --like musical crossover, perhaps, appealing to fans from all over--while there are some who are only appealing to a narrow group. The symmetrical, hourglass shaped girl with big eyes and big lips might appeal to people from more races, because she resembles the beauty ideal in several places, whereas a girl with a nice smile but thin lips and small recessed eyes won't be quite so universally adored.

There may also be a supply-demand thing at work here. Sometimes one can go for awhile in my town at least without seeing a ssbbw, and it feels to me as though one of the colours of the natural spectrum had been missing. When she appears, it's the same feeling on a sunny day when POW you suddenly have YELLOW mixing in with the other colours, warming you in a different way than when everything was cloudy, and gray/ blue. Does our perception of beauty perhaps change when we're missing something? i know that there are times of year i crave certain flavours, and then when i have had corn or apples available for weeks on end i am more blase, than when i am missing that flavour. So in other words, maybe our taste isn't consistent but changes at different times.

Isn't it wonderful how different we all are?
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Old 10-16-2009, 10:13 AM   #35
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Maybe this is just me, but I tend to shy away from the words "beautiful" and "pretty" because they get overworked. Also, "pretty" seems IMO to be just a little patronizing ... more applicable to a kitten than a woman, perhaps. And as Tad said, I tend to focus on details rather than the whole picture: "You look really elegant in that dress" rather than "you look nice."
If I had rep, I would give it to ya, because this is EXACTLY what I have been saying. "Beautiful", "pretty", and "sexy" get used so much, that they have lost their meaning.

For me, it all begins with the face. No face, no interest, regardless of how the rest of her body is put together. Specifically, it's the eyes. Pull me in with those tractor beams, and I'm hooked. After that, then I decide whether or not I'm gaga over your body. The ones who have both? Well, they are the ones that make me grin at the mere thought of them.
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Old 10-17-2009, 12:48 AM   #36
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I don't think prurient objectification and perceived beauty are mutually exclusive. Even when there is separation, I don't it's necessarily a fetish thing or an FA thing to fap over parts, as GEF mentioned.

I don't think anyone who's been into my body hasn't been into my face, too. If anything, I always felt that my body was more of a liability than my face was, being covered with stretch marks or having deformed breasts or having a messed up midriff blob or what have you. Although, this is beginning to change now that I have massive eyebags and the allergies are starting to make my eyes swell and line like crazy. I'm also NOT fond of my neck/jawline. Seems like I absolutely canNOT take an acceptable face photo anymore.
TWINS! I totally am in full-on commiseration with you in this moment.

I never considered myself a vain person but honestly, at my core, I totally am... my changing appearance scares me. I've always valued my face and my hair as the two bonus prizes Jesus gave me to even out the whole fat-lupus thing. Now, they are slip, slip, slipping too and I literally get panicked when I notice a new flaw.

I gotta get a hobby or something.
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Old 10-17-2009, 01:00 AM   #37
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I freely admit that I am completely vain and totally narcissistic. LOL.
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Old 10-18-2009, 03:28 PM   #38
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I freely admit that I am completely vain and totally narcissistic. LOL.
rofl

When I turned 30 it totally sucked.........and when I recently turned 32 it sucked like a baby elephant. Changes in my skin, I think I saw a wrinkle (fucker), blah, blah, blah. I'm totally with you Tania.

All these body changes show and tell me that one day I WILL keel over and die. lol While in college and in my 20s, those thoughts didn't enter my head. Oh how times change.
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Old 10-18-2009, 11:10 PM   #39
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Never say die, girls! NEVER SAY DIE!

I'm still pretty. That's mah story and I'm stickin' to it. ;D
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