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Old 10-31-2009, 01:31 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by Carrie View Post
Oy. I don't know what's more annoying, the usual pouty "Dimensions is so full of Meanie McGrumpertons!" crowd swooping in right on schedule, or the predictable posts giving them an excuse to.

Either way, NEW MATERIAL NEEDED.
Someone's gotta stand up to the bullies. Otherwise there's no acceptance on a size acceptance website...pure and simple.

Guy asks a question and gets shredded, and without the people defending him this kind of "shredding" behavior continues until people are too afraid to ask questions.

With people willing to stand up and say "get lost and go find another thread" to these people, you may have an annoying back and forth bitchfest, but at least it maintains a certain balance where members won't be afraid to speak their minds.
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Old 10-31-2009, 01:40 PM   #27
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It's bully against bully around here.

Carrie is right. We need new fantasies.
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Old 10-31-2009, 01:41 PM   #28
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Originally Posted by KHayes666 View Post
Someone's gotta stand up to the bullies. Otherwise there's no acceptance on a size acceptance website...pure and simple.

Guy asks a question and gets shredded, and without the people defending him this kind of "shredding" behavior continues until people are too afraid to ask questions.

With people willing to stand up and say "get lost and go find another thread" to these people, you may have an annoying back and forth bitchfest, but at least it maintains a certain balance where members won't be afraid to speak their minds.
I know why you do it, but it's annoying as hell to have to read your mean ol' bullies/victimized white knight schtick over and over and over. But like I said, I'm just as annoyed by the posts that compel you to do it in the first place.
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Old 10-31-2009, 01:42 PM   #29
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Carrie is right. We need new fantasies.
Speak for yourself, big guy, I've always got Danielle Steele's new fattening series in the Dims library to read.
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Old 10-31-2009, 01:53 PM   #30
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I know why you do it, but it's annoying as hell to have to read your mean ol' bullies/victimized white knight schtick over and over and over. But like I said, I'm just as annoyed by the posts that compel you to do it in the first place.
Its like the movie Constantine....there's a balance.

If there's a little bit of bullying when people are being rude and overly creepy, I'm all for it. However when a normal joe is just asking questions and he gets the same treatment as the creeps, then it crosses the line. Without the "white knights" the bullies are allowed to run wild and any form of free speech goes out the window.

On the flip side, because there are people willing to stand up to these people when they're out of line...the normal joe can still ask questions because there are people to stand up for free speech. However, without bullying at all then you got the creeps running wild. Asking inappropriate questions, asking for home addresses, stalking and acting rude and obnoxious with no one to tell them off.

Like I said....the bullies and the knights may be annoying, but at least it maintains a healthy balance. The stalkers and the creeps are kept at bay while others can ask questions without getting booted in the gonads.

I'll shaddup now....have a happy halloween :-)
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Old 10-31-2009, 02:17 PM   #31
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Funny that nobody seems to have answered the original question,which seemed a reasonable one,everyone here reserves the right not to reply to a question or request they feel uncomfortable with answering.
I have personally being trying too get out of that zone and learn to accept myself.
I have struggled to fit behind the wheel for the last year and have now sold my car as I feel better indoors than in public with shallow strangers sniggering at me...I gained 30 pounds or so since last christmas that made me too big to fit.
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Old 10-31-2009, 02:39 PM   #32
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As a FFA I think its a fine question.

With Escapist permission...I can say that he cannot fit behind the wheel of my 05' Camary and barely drive his own mini-van and yes it does turn me on to see him driving around in his mini-van. Just to see him fill up the front seat in both cars..turns me on.

I really dont see why folks would get mad because ..Hell...even Bombshell Goddess Patty made a vid that showed her squeezing in the back of a mini-van.
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Old 10-31-2009, 02:44 PM   #33
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Funny that nobody seems to have answered the original question,which seemed a reasonable one,everyone here reserves the right not to reply to a question or request they feel uncomfortable with answering.
I have personally being trying too get out of that zone and learn to accept myself.
I have struggled to fit behind the wheel for the last year and have now sold my car as I feel better indoors than in public with shallow strangers sniggering at me...I gained 30 pounds or so since last christmas that made me too big to fit.

2 people did, which I think is outstanding considering

I don't drive so I don't really have an answer, but I can see how the steering wheel could be difficult to maneuver for someone who is bigger.
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Old 10-31-2009, 03:26 PM   #34
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Old 10-31-2009, 09:30 PM   #35
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I got sick of not getting the seat belt on me properly and didn't like not having to move my seat back to fit into my Mitsubishi so I'm not so fat now.

Glad I could contribute.

Apology or not...what in hell did they guy expect? Women to come in and say "yes yes I can't get into my car right, the steering wheel pressing into me hurts like hell but dayum, don't I feel sexy".

Or was it supposed to be people getting off on the discomfort and hardships of fat people? Knowing some guy might get his jollies at my problems doesn't make me want to get fatter.

Let's be clear about exactly WHO the bullies are around here......
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Old 10-31-2009, 09:51 PM   #36
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I am way too big to drive. Because my wallet is so big and can't fit in my back pocket I just pay my Limousine driver to drive me around all day long.
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Old 11-01-2009, 06:54 AM   #37
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OP: Would you walk into a public place, find a very fat woman, insert yourself next to her, and ask her (with the 'sorry if this offends you' disclaimer, natch) if she's too fat to drive ... and if so, to explain that struggle to you in exquisite detail? No? Then why would you ask it here? If you asked me such a question, you'd get a slap across the face. It's not appropriate. It's ... crass.

chickenlegs, with all due respect, are you suggesting that because it arouses you to watch your man struggling to drive, BBW's should feel humbled and grateful that this is a turn-on? This isn't about the mutual joys to be discovered in a relationship. This is about someone posting an obvious request for wank fodder from a completely interchangeable fat stranger.

FA's who posted in this thread ... thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You get it. Thank you.

Everyone else: If it makes it easier for you to live with yourself by painting those of us who object to being broken down into the sum total of fat parts by calling us bullies who wish to silence you, have at it.
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Old 11-01-2009, 10:46 AM   #38
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This Entire website boarders on crass. However to me...these areas take the cake on crass...yet folks are just posting away...

Almost everything in the weight board, Plus-size paysite board, and the entire story section just to name a few.

So if the crass-police does not like this website...then go somewhere else, make your own, or complain to Conrad.

TraciJo67..it is extremely crass and disrespectfull to: A. Try to put words in my mouth... and B. Trying to flame me in public. As I said before in other posts...if you want clarification from me..then pm me.
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Old 11-01-2009, 11:09 AM   #39
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TraciJo67..it is extremely crass and disrespectfull to: A. Try to put words in my mouth... and B. Trying to flame me in public. As I said before in other posts...if you want clarification from me..then pm me.
I didn't need clarification. What you said was crystal clear, thanks.

And ... trying to flame you? Really? You think this is what it's all about? A little on the sensitive side, eh?
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Old 11-01-2009, 11:15 AM   #40
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I didn't need clarification. What you said was crystal clear, thanks.

And ... trying to flame you? Really? You think this is what it's all about? A little on the sensitive side, eh?
Yes you Always need clarification and if you cant handle a direct reply then dont mention my name.
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Old 11-01-2009, 11:16 AM   #41
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Apology or not...what in hell did they guy expect? Women to come in and say "yes yes I can't get into my car right, the steering wheel pressing into me hurts like hell but dayum, don't I feel sexy".

Or was it supposed to be people getting off on the discomfort and hardships of fat people? Knowing some guy might get his jollies at my problems doesn't make me want to get fatter.

Let's be clear about exactly WHO the bullies are around here......
My guess is what he hope for was some sexually based answers from BBW along the lines of "my belly is just too big to fit behind the steering wheel" or "at my current weight of 450 pounds getting in and out of the car is really getting to be a challenge."

That turns him on. If it didn't, and it were not a common turn on for FA, there would not be tons of paysite sets with this very theme. From what i've read on the paysite board, most of them request and accomodate requests for sets, so clearly this one is not uncommon.

If a SSBBW who was intentionally gaining for sexual purposes posted something along the lines of "Today I notice just how big I'm getting. I got into my car and noticed my belly is only 1/4 inch or so away from the steering wheel. It really excited me because it shows just how much weight I've gained and I love it." it would be met with probably a dozen positive responses about how much of a turn on it was, NOT because she was humiliated or uncomfortable but because she enjoyed it and reveled in her weight.

Once again, for many FA the outward signs of weight gain are a turn on. It's not about humiliation or discomfort, it's just how their sexuality works. There is a huge difference between getting turned on at outward signs of gaining and potentially getting turned on by, or not being upset by a woman crying over pants not fitting or being embarassed at breaking a bed or getting depressed at not being able to walk up a flight of stairs. A big part of being an FA, especially a feeder, is enjoying the fat person's enjoyment of those things.

Speaking only for myself, I find it a turnon when my friend tells me about tearing clothes or about old friends being shocked by his weight gain. I would not in any way find it a turn on if he said "I was really upset and embarassed today. I ran into a former coworker today who did not recognize me because of how fat i've gotten. I really need to lose weight."

Most fetishists recognize that gaining is not a turnon for all fat people. At worst you'll read many of them say "I wish my partner were happier about her gaining" or "I hate that she's uncomfortable with it." Very few people find the sadness or discomfort to be exciting; paysite sets show the SSBBW absolutely thrilled and turned on by her chair breaking or exhaustion from walking a flight of stairs, they don't take pictures of somebody crying or looking embarassed.
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Old 11-01-2009, 11:19 AM   #42
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Yes you Always need clarification and if you cant handle a direct reply then dont mention my name.
chicken legs .. sweetie .. believe me, it's not that I can't handle a direct reply. I'm more than a little stunned, actually, that *you* don't seem to get what *I* have been saying. It couldn't be more clear. Stunning in its clarity, actually.

Most ... people ... don't ... like ... being ... objectified/dehumanized ... by ... strangers. And ... they have the absolute RIGHT to state that. It doesn't make them bullies or bitches. Human. It makes them .... human.
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Old 11-01-2009, 11:26 AM   #43
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Oy. I don't know what's more annoying, the usual pouty "Dimensions is so full of Meanie McGrumpertons!" crowd swooping in right on schedule, or the predictable posts giving them an excuse to.

Either way, NEW MATERIAL NEEDED.
Carrie, I really like you and think you make great contributions to this site.

But as Conrad said, this is the Fat Sexuality part of the Weight Board. While it's not protected as the Erotic Weight Gain section is, it still has a different purpose from the Main Board and others. It is sexually based, not size acceptance based. It is geared towards the types of discussions the OP was trying to have.

I think Kevin and Russ's complaints were valid. When we see posts from people who are not fetishists complaining about the posts on this board, it is seen as bullying and we have the right to call them out on it. This section of the board is no more geared towards being "anti-fat" than a message board about S&M would be geared towards misogyny.

Posters here come to discuss a fairly unique form of sexuality. It's not shared my many in the real world, it's not a mainstream thing, and it's not even considered mainstream on this site. But we do exist, we do have out interests and kinks and fetishes and this is the place to discuss them.

Let's say a fetishist interupted a size acceptance discussion on the main board or even the clothing board. What if somebody said "I can't find clothes in my size at Torrod" and somebody responded with "That is so hot. You must be so fat and i hope you get fatter." THAT is rude and not appropriate. Same as if somebody interupted a health discussion about using scooters or reach aids to say how hot is was that SSBBW were fat enough to need those things. Wrong place to do that.

But on that same note, this board is the wrong place to tell the sexuality crowd that their posts are demeaning, rude, "need new fantasies" and the like.
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Old 11-01-2009, 11:40 AM   #44
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I'll be very honest...I come to this part of the forum about as often as I go for a jog.

That being said...I agree with Traci that people in general don't like to be objectified, but isn't that what parts of this forum are for?

Perhaps the question was put in the wrong area or whatever, but at a point wouldn't it be alright to let those who want to discuss this stuff alone in an area that was set up for it?

Where do people draw the line? I draw the line at fat hatred, but maybe others draw it at humiliation. Either way it seems that the same people are going to keep fighting over the same thing and face it we're not going to get any answers. One place can't be everything to everyone.
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Old 11-01-2009, 11:47 AM   #45
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I'll be very honest...I come to this part of the forum about as often as I go for a jog.

That being said...I agree with Traci that people in general don't like to be objectified, but isn't that what parts of this forum are for?

Perhaps the question was put in the wrong area or whatever, but at a point wouldn't it be alright to let those who want to discuss this stuff alone in an area that was set up for it?

Where do people draw the line? I draw the line at fat hatred, but maybe others draw it at humiliation. Either way it seems that the same people are going to keep fighting over the same thing and face it we're not going to get any answers. One place can't be everything to everyone.
Sugar, I was actually responding to the contingent who claim that they are being "bullied". I wanted to point out WHY some people responded as they did. The question was crass, there is no way around that, and what the OP got in response is probably typical of what he'd faced, had he strolled up to a complete stranger and asked her the same questions. Does he have a right to ask the question? Sure. Does he have the right to expect that the people he's objectifying in the process should just sit back, cross their legs demurely, and keep their purty little mouths shut? I don't think so. I get that this is the weight board, that people are wanting to explore their sexuality, fetishes, etc. I guess what I was hoping was that this would be in a more general way -- i.e., discussions about sexuality/fetishes/attractions, etc ... not trolls for wank material from complete strangers.
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Old 11-01-2009, 11:49 AM   #46
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Can't it be both? Surely the wank material threads should be obvious from a mile away.
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Old 11-01-2009, 11:52 AM   #47
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chicken legs .. sweetie .. believe me, it's not that I can't handle a direct reply. I'm more than a little stunned, actually, that *you* don't seem to get what *I* have been saying. It couldn't be more clear. Stunning in its clarity, actually.

Most ... people ... don't ... like ... being ... objectified/dehumanized ... by ... strangers. And ... they have the absolute RIGHT to state that. It doesn't make them bullies or bitches. Human. It makes them .... human.
Yeah once again I think your on the wrong sub-forum or something. I couldn't agree more with:

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But as Conrad said, this is the Fat Sexuality part of the Weight Board. While it's not protected as the Erotic Weight Gain section is, it still has a different purpose from the Main Board and others. It is sexually based, not size acceptance based. It is geared towards the types of discussions the OP was trying to have.
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Sugar, I was actually responding to the contingent who claim that they are being "bullied". I wanted to point out WHY some people responded as they did. The question was crass, there is no way around that, and what the OP got in response is probably typical of what he'd faced, had he strolled up to a complete stranger and asked her the same questions. Does he have a right to ask the question? Sure. Does he have the right to expect that the people he's objectifying in the process should just sit back, cross their legs demurely, and keep their purty little mouths shut? I don't think so. I get that this is the weight board, that people are wanting to explore their sexuality, fetishes, etc. I guess what I was hoping was that this would be in a more general way -- i.e., discussions about sexuality/fetishes/attractions, etc ... not trolls for wank material from complete strangers.
Kinda reminds me the other day when you were poking around on the BHM/FFA board....Hell man we have discussions like this there all the time. I'm 500 lbs and I really don't understand being "sensitive" about it. God didn't make me like this I got here 1 bite at a time so how or why would I be upset about it? I fully enjoy sharing my love of food and my size with my partner. I love squishing her, eating for her, and squeezing into cars for her and that's exactly what this part of the boards is for so....relax gezzz.


As to the bullying yeah you are:
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chickenlegs, with all due respect, are you suggesting that because it arouses you to watch your man struggling to drive, BBW's should feel humbled and grateful that this is a turn-on? This isn't about the mutual joys to be discovered in a relationship. This is about someone posting an obvious request for wank fodder from a completely interchangeable fat stranger.
Nowhere in her post did she suggest how you or anybody else should feel. She was only speaking from her own experience and how it relates to the thread. She did follow up by asking why is everybody tripping on the Fat Sexuality board on a question that dealt with fat sexuality...Remember this isn't just a BBW board.
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Old 11-01-2009, 11:53 AM   #48
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chicken legs .. sweetie .. believe me, it's not that I can't handle a direct reply. I'm more than a little stunned, actually, that *you* don't seem to get what *I* have been saying. It couldn't be more clear. Stunning in its clarity, actually.

Most ... people ... don't ... like ... being ... objectified/dehumanized ... by ... strangers. And ... they have the absolute RIGHT to state that. It doesn't make them bullies or bitches. Human. It makes them .... human.
Everyone gets what your are saying...but you (and others) dont get that the time and place at which your saying it .....is WRONG.

So to you..my dear..EPIC FAIL

Good luck on starting drama on another thread.


To the OP...I cant fit into sports cars.
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Old 11-01-2009, 11:56 AM   #49
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Sugar, I was actually responding to the contingent who claim that they are being "bullied". I wanted to point out WHY some people responded as they did. The question was crass, there is no way around that, and what the OP got in response is probably typical of what he'd faced, had he strolled up to a complete stranger and asked her the same questions. Does he have a right to ask the question? Sure. Does he have the right to expect that the people he's objectifying in the process should just sit back, cross their legs demurely, and keep their purty little mouths shut? I don't think so. I get that this is the weight board, that people are wanting to explore their sexuality, fetishes, etc. I guess what I was hoping was that this would be in a more general way -- i.e., discussions about sexuality/fetishes/attractions, etc ... not trolls for wank material from complete strangers.
I'm with you on this...it was ill advised at best to ask such a question. Frankly, I'm sad that people can be so crass and insensitive...but that's just me.

I guess my confusion stems from the fact that I thought this was a protected forum so snark such as the Warf gif was not only uncalled for but I would guess against the rules. Again, I don't know since I don't tend to set up camp here.

By no means do I think you or anyone else with the exception of one person should really just button it up and go away. I just wonder where is the right place for such questions? Off this forum completely?
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Old 11-01-2009, 12:00 PM   #50
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I'm with you on this...it was ill advised at best to ask such a question. Frankly, I'm sad that people can be so crass and insensitive...but that's just me.

I guess my confusion stems from the fact that I thought this was a protected forum so snark such as the Warf gif was not only uncalled for but I would guess against the rules. Again, I don't know since I don't tend to set up camp here.

By no means do I think you or anyone else with the exception of one person should really just button it up and go away. I just wonder where is the right place for such questions? Off this forum completely?
Sarah, I think there is no right place to ask this kind of question, and not expect outraged responses from people who don't WANT TO BE wank fodder. At first, I thought that perhaps people weren't getting it ... weren't understanding that this is genuinely DISTRESSING to a lot of people. A. Lot. Of. People. A lot of fat women, of whom many FA's claim to respect.

I get it now. They *do* understand. They just don't care.
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