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Old 11-01-2009, 12:07 PM   #51
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Originally Posted by Webmaster View Post
The sniping and name calling is completely uncalled for. May s/he who has never had an "improper" fantasy raise their hands. This is, after all, the fat sexuality forum of the weight board. So behave yourselves and stop the high moral tone.
Once again...for those who missed it.
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secret turn on.....Genuine affection :)
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Old 11-01-2009, 12:12 PM   #52
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I'd hope in general that the Weight Board posters never feel as if they can't defend themselves from posters who come here to tell us how sick and offensive our sexuality is.

Everyone knows what is here, and if you don't like it, don't read it.

This is about sexuality, not fat hatred or fat phobia. If somebody can't differentiate that's not our problem. The board is clearly marked, the sticky from the mod is written in very plain and easy to understand language. We know some people don't get it and that's fine. We just expect those who don't get it to be polite and respectful and not comment about it and definitely not try to turn it into something it's not.
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Old 11-01-2009, 12:14 PM   #53
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Originally Posted by TraciJo67 View Post
Sarah, I think there is no right place to ask this kind of question, and not expect outraged responses from people who don't WANT TO BE wank fodder. At first, I thought that perhaps people weren't getting it ... weren't understanding that this is genuinely DISTRESSING to a lot of people. A. Lot. Of. People. A lot of fat women, of whom many FA's claim to respect.

I get it now. They *do* understand. They just don't care.
Well now you know who to patently ignore or openly chastise. Allowing people to show what dicks they are really ISN'T a bad thing. It really allows you to choose your friends and acquaintances wisely.
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Old 11-01-2009, 12:16 PM   #54
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Originally Posted by TraciJo67 View Post
Sarah, I think there is no right place to ask this kind of question, and not expect outraged responses from people who don't WANT TO BE wank fodder. At first, I thought that perhaps people weren't getting it ... weren't understanding that this is genuinely DISTRESSING to a lot of people. A. Lot. Of. People. A lot of fat women, of whom many FA's claim to respect.

I get it now. They *do* understand. They just don't care.
I agree, there are a lot of people who don't care how upsetting this is to someone who is actually tore up over their size. I find that disgusting and disappointing. I also know I'm never going to change them.

Maybe I'm hopeful that the needs of someone who enjoys this kind of topic can be met and kept here on a board...safe and sound.

Last edited by Sugar; 11-01-2009 at 12:18 PM. Reason: ...
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Old 11-01-2009, 12:16 PM   #55
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Originally Posted by LoveBHMS View Post
I'd hope in general that the Weight Board posters never feel as if they can't defend themselves from posters who come here to tell us how sick and offensive our sexuality is.

Everyone knows what is here, and if you don't like it, don't read it.

This is about sexuality, not fat hatred or fat phobia. If somebody can't differentiate that's not our problem. The board is clearly marked, the sticky from the mod is written in very plain and easy to understand language. We know some people don't get it and that's fine. We just expect those who don't get it to be polite and respectful and not comment about it and definitely not try to turn it into something it's not.
I'm so repping you!

...and now I'm going to put my rolls on Chicken Legs, and squish her under my HUGE belly!
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Old 11-01-2009, 12:21 PM   #56
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Originally Posted by Webmaster View Post
...This is, after all, the fat sexuality forum of the weight board. So behave yourselves and stop the high moral tone.
AKA Weight Board = Wank Fodder

We all have our turn on's Gezzz.
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Old 11-01-2009, 12:25 PM   #57
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Carrie, I really like you and think you make great contributions to this site.

But as Conrad said, this is the Fat Sexuality part of the Weight Board. While it's not protected as the Erotic Weight Gain section is, it still has a different purpose from the Main Board and others. It is sexually based, not size acceptance based. It is geared towards the types of discussions the OP was trying to have.

I think Kevin and Russ's complaints were valid. When we see posts from people who are not fetishists complaining about the posts on this board, it is seen as bullying and we have the right to call them out on it. This section of the board is no more geared towards being "anti-fat" than a message board about S&M would be geared towards misogyny.

Posters here come to discuss a fairly unique form of sexuality. It's not shared my many in the real world, it's not a mainstream thing, and it's not even considered mainstream on this site. But we do exist, we do have out interests and kinks and fetishes and this is the place to discuss them.

Let's say a fetishist interupted a size acceptance discussion on the main board or even the clothing board. What if somebody said "I can't find clothes in my size at Torrod" and somebody responded with "That is so hot. You must be so fat and i hope you get fatter." THAT is rude and not appropriate. Same as if somebody interupted a health discussion about using scooters or reach aids to say how hot is was that SSBBW were fat enough to need those things. Wrong place to do that.

But on that same note, this board is the wrong place to tell the sexuality crowd that their posts are demeaning, rude, "need new fantasies" and the like.
Long explanation unnecessary; you misunderstood me. When I said "new material needed", I was not referring to the OP's fantasy.
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Old 11-01-2009, 12:25 PM   #58
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Maybe I'm hopeful that the needs of someone who enjoys this kind of topic can be met and kept here on a board...safe and sound.
Exactly.

What would you propose that FAs who enjoy both the good and bad sides of a fat prson's body do?
Get therapy?
Suppress it?
Get over their fantasies and just ignore what turns them on?
Just not tell you their fantasies?

The fourth option is the only one even close to realistic and/or healthy (edit: okay, so the therapy option could be healthy too. my bad.), and although some of these guys have the social skills of a toaster and can't seem to keep discussion of their masturbation needs under some semblance of discretion, that option can be best accomplished by people that object to these fantasies STAYING OUT of places that are DESIGNATED for these fantasies.

You know what's on the weight board, it's always been here, it's not going anywhere, and aside from the mods dumping all the obvious wank fodder threads into the protected Erotic Weight Gain subforum, the easiest solution for those that are offended is to steer clear.

With the occasional silent sojourn in to get the names of those who you really really want to avoid, of course.
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Old 11-01-2009, 12:32 PM   #59
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Originally Posted by Sugar View Post
I agree, there are a lot of people who don't care how upsetting this is to someone who is actually tore up over their size. I find that disgusting and disappointing. I also know I'm never going to change them.

Maybe I'm hopeful that the needs of someone who enjoys this kind of topic can be met and kept here on a board...safe and sound.
Do i need to set this to music?

It's not intended to be upsetting, it's not intended to be offensive, and it is kept on the appropriate part of the site.

It's not like going to a webmd board about bladder control problems and posting about how golden showers are a turn on, it's not like going to a board on foot problems and posting about how you have a fetish for problem feet with corns and bunions. It's not like going to Playboy's site if you're a gay male and saying the female body is not sexually attractive.

Nobody is trying to offend you or anyone else by expressing sexuality on the Weight Board. If that some post was used a response to somebody who posted on the BBW or Main Board about frustration with trying to drive, then it would be wrong. But this is the place for it and by and large it is kept to this board and when it's not, the mods move or delete it.

Nobody picks and chooses their sexuality. Nobody gets a checklist at birth or puberty about what is going to turn them on. Lots of people's lives and psyches would be far more at ease if that were the case but it's not.

None of these sorts of posts are aimed to hurt anyone, they're merely discussions of sexuality in the appropriate forum.
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Old 11-01-2009, 12:35 PM   #60
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Do i need to set this to music?

It's not intended to be upsetting, it's not intended to be offensive, and it is kept on the appropriate part of the site.

It's not like going to a webmd board about bladder control problems and posting about how golden showers are a turn on, it's not like going to a board on foot problems and posting about how you have a fetish for problem feet with corns and bunions. It's not like going to Playboy's site if you're a gay male and saying the female body is not sexually attractive.

Nobody is trying to offend you or anyone else by expressing sexuality on the Weight Board. If that some post was used a response to somebody who posted on the BBW or Main Board about frustration with trying to drive, then it would be wrong. But this is the place for it and by and large it is kept to this board and when it's not, the mods move or delete it.

Nobody picks and chooses their sexuality. Nobody gets a checklist at birth or puberty about what is going to turn them on. Lots of people's lives and psyches would be far more at ease if that were the case but it's not.

None of these sorts of posts are aimed to hurt anyone, they're merely discussions of sexuality in the appropriate forum.
The only point in responding to you is to say...there is no point. Have a nice day.
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Old 11-01-2009, 12:42 PM   #61
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The fourth option is the only one even close to realistic and/or healthy (edit: okay, so the therapy option could be healthy too. my bad.), and although some of these guys have the social skills of a toaster and can't seem to keep discussion of their masturbation needs under some semblance of discretion, that option can be best accomplished by people that object to these fantasies STAYING OUT of places that are DESIGNATED for these fantasies.

You know what's on the weight board, it's always been here, it's not going anywhere, and aside from the mods dumping all the obvious wank fodder threads into the protected Erotic Weight Gain subforum, the easiest solution for those that are offended is to steer clear.
Quoted for truth since i can't rep you.
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Old 11-01-2009, 12:51 PM   #62
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Nobody responded to my question, but it still seems relevant: Is there any Fat Sexuality part of these forums separate from Weight Board stuff? Or is the only area for Fat Sexuality discussions under the rubric of Weight Board? (Pardon the goofy capitalization.)

Wouldn't it make sense to have it more separated out? Put it this way--it would to me, but it begs the question how integral WB stuff is to discussions of fat here, period. Also, there are a lot of different approaches to fat sexuality besides WB stuff--BDSM or whatever--so I don't know how far that dividing up should go. But wouldn't it be helpful to have it all a little more separate?
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Old 11-01-2009, 01:13 PM   #63
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The only point in responding to you is to say...there is no point. Have a nice day.
LOL I love dissmissive people:
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Research shows that subjects who exhibited a high degree of dismissiveness were less likely to disclose information about themselves, especially when they were primed with defensiveness-related words.[8] Dismissiveness is also associated with antisocial behavior like tax evasion.[9] In this case, dismissiveness empowers the individual to feel confident and untouchable, and this may represent a significant threat to governmental administration.[10] Dismissiveness, or ignoring what cannot be understood, is also a typical reaction of the general population to encounters with disordered people such as schizophrenics.[11]
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Last edited by escapist; 11-01-2009 at 01:15 PM.
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Old 11-01-2009, 01:17 PM   #64
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Nobody responded to my question, but it still seems relevant: Is there any Fat Sexuality part of these forums separate from Weight Board stuff? Or is the only area for Fat Sexuality discussions under the rubric of Weight Board? (Pardon the goofy capitalization.)

Wouldn't it make sense to have it more separated out? Put it this way--it would to me, but it begs the question how integral WB stuff is to discussions of fat here, period. Also, there are a lot of different approaches to fat sexuality besides WB stuff--BDSM or whatever--so I don't know how far that dividing up should go. But wouldn't it be helpful to have it all a little more separate?
No, there's no separate place for it, aside from the occasional sexual thread in the FA or BBW forums. I think this subforum, Fat Sexuality, is designed for all fat sexuality issues, whether it's weight related or not.
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Old 11-01-2009, 01:17 PM   #65
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LOL I love dissmissive people:
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I'm happy to discuss this with anyone else. As far as I'm concerned she has no opinion and her opinion doesn't matter to me. It's a personal choice about one particular person.

If you have any thoughts on what I've said I'm more than happy to talk to you about it.

I really do feel that issues like this shouldn't be mocked even if I find them disturbing. I draw the line on fat hatred...the question by the OP was not that and didn't deserve to be mocked.
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Old 11-01-2009, 01:22 PM   #66
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There are those who would argue that any discussion of fat without consideration of the person carrying the fat IS automatically fat hatred. At least, that's the impression that I get.
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Old 11-01-2009, 01:24 PM   #67
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There are those who would argue that any discussion of fat without consideration of the person carrying the fat IS automatically fat hatred. At least, that's the impression that I get.
I personally wouldn't call it hatred. I'd call it ignorance, which can lead to hatred...it's a slippery slope my friend lol.

The shades of gray here are infinite.
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Old 11-01-2009, 01:25 PM   #68
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Damn that pesky grayscale!
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Old 11-01-2009, 01:27 PM   #69
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Nobody responded to my question, but it still seems relevant: Is there any Fat Sexuality part of these forums separate from Weight Board stuff? Or is the only area for Fat Sexuality discussions under the rubric of Weight Board? (Pardon the goofy capitalization.)

Wouldn't it make sense to have it more separated out? Put it this way--it would to me, but it begs the question how integral WB stuff is to discussions of fat here, period. Also, there are a lot of different approaches to fat sexuality besides WB stuff--BDSM or whatever--so I don't know how far that dividing up should go. But wouldn't it be helpful to have it all a little more separate?
Just an opinion here, Sugar, but I think that it wouldn't be too far out to make a sexuality-based post on the Main Board if one doesn't feel the subject is necessarily appropriate for the WB type of perspective nor want the thread to fall under the same rules and protections as the Fat Sexuality board.
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Old 11-01-2009, 01:29 PM   #70
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Originally Posted by Tina View Post
fall under the same rules and protections as the Fat Sexuality board.
Er, what protections does the Fat Sexuality subforum have? It's the Erotic Weight Gain subforum that has the big disclaimer.
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Old 11-01-2009, 01:38 PM   #71
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I think this subforum, Fat Sexuality, is designed for all fat sexuality issues, whether it's weight related or not.
That seems to be the overarching question regarding this thread and many other discussions on these web boards.

If we are talking about any aspect of (fat) sexuality that is alternately:

- something some people enjoy and need a safe place to discuss
- squicks some people out and makes them very uncomfortable

...the idea is to generally make a safer space for it to manage both responses.

The question is: is Dimensions focused on WB issues to the extent that it doesn't need to carve out the space more distinctly for WB discussions, or does it, to manage a broader sense of fat sexuality..

If nothing else is clear from this and other arguments, it would be the fact that there is not consensus about WB stuff. Some people like it, some don't.
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Old 11-01-2009, 01:39 PM   #72
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I'm happy to discuss this with anyone else. As far as I'm concerned she has no opinion and her opinion doesn't matter to me. It's a personal choice about one particular person.

If you have any thoughts on what I've said I'm more than happy to talk to you about it.

I really do feel that issues like this shouldn't be mocked even if I find them disturbing. I draw the line on fat hatred...the question by the OP was not that and didn't deserve to be mocked.
Ahhhh ok ...and I agree didn't deserve it at all.
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Old 11-01-2009, 01:48 PM   #73
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There are those who would argue that any discussion of fat without consideration of the person carrying the fat IS automatically fat hatred. At least, that's the impression that I get.
I think you meant to say the person or persons because this was directed to a board group of people not any one person. Those who chose to take it up as a personal battle and feel offended did it because they felt like it was an diss to them or the group they think/feel they represent.

As a 500 lb FA who has been with SSBBW's I can't think of a moment where either of us felt our FAism was fat hatred.

and...lets face it...most of us posting here constantly all day really must have nothing better to do lol. I wonder what we would all look like if we spent all the time we do reading and posting here and instead worked out and hit the gym....but that's a different fetish for a different board
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Old 11-01-2009, 02:41 PM   #74
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Surely the wank material threads should be obvious from a mile away.


It's not being insulting because of his fantasies or whatever, it's pointing out that it comes across like he's got dick in hand when he makes the post.
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Old 11-01-2009, 03:44 PM   #75
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Seems to me the overiding question is how far are we supposed to go to protect people from themselves?

The recent discussions about needing a disclaimer for the fiction area of the site and now the fact that people who claim to have no interest in the Weight Board are coming over here and whinging about how disturbing somebody's sexual fantasies are make it clear that this is a problem.

The Weight Board and its purpose are clearly marked. It amazes me how people who time and again talk about their discomfort with what's here, spend so much time here. I don't think anyone has the right to come to this forum and attack somebody's sexual fantasy or remind them that its mere expression is a form of fat hatred.

Having any fantasy is not a bad thing, how you act it out or how and where you communicate it might be a bad thing. People can't help what arouses them and I think it's important for those who are aroused by things that the average person won't understand have a safe place to come and discuss them without input from the thought police.

The expression of a fantasy is not a plan to do *something* bad. If you come here and say you fantasize about feeding somebody to immobility, it's not the same thing as saying you plan to actually do it, or even an overt search for a partner. If anyone came on here and said they were actually doing something harmful to a real person, they would be criticized, but that is just not mostly the case. A sexual fantasy is just something that arouses you and this is the place to talk about it.
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