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Old 10-30-2009, 03:51 AM   #1
BigCutieSasha
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Default Your social life since Dims

I've noticed with myself as well as some friends of mine, that since joining Dimensions and other fat boards, some of my/our social life with non community people have diminished a bit and in some cases totally stopped. For me it wasn't because these people are anti fat, got on me about my weight or talked down the community, but merely because so much time was spent online on these forums, on messengers or on facebook talking to people from the community.

I guess the main question is, has your social life changed since you joined Dimensions? Have you noticed the change? Was this change a conscious decision? I know people make new friends here online and that can change peoples social dynamics anyway, but has anyone given up a real life social life for an online social life?


I would like to make note, I'm not putting anyone down if they have, I am really just curious.
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Old 10-30-2009, 04:16 AM   #2
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Great question, Sasha.

I always try to keep in mind that I'm a person first, then a person who is attracted to fat women. As such, I have many interests outside of this community.

Many of my friends in real life are not fat, nor attracted to someone who's fat. I think having people outside our BBW/FA friends here as friends keeps us balanced. As much as I pride myself as an FA, I don't let it consume my life. It's just a great part of it.

Now, if you wanna ask me if I spend more time here than I should, well, that's a different story..........
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Old 10-30-2009, 04:19 AM   #3
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Probably not the best person to answer since I'm on a different continent than most people on these forums but I'd have to say since stumbling onto Dims now 8 years ago and then the Fat Forums my social life has vastly improved. By the time I found the forums I was already in a realy good place about my body and my self esteem. Finding these places just made me realise that I'm not alone and yes, I realy am not ugly or crazy and its just fine to celebrate my body. My inner party animal, which had been slightly subdued before then, came out full force It was going to happen anyway, finding these places just made it happen faster. I spend way less time on line and much more in the real world - my horizons widened more than I can begin to say.
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Old 10-30-2009, 04:56 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by wrestlingguy View Post
Many of my friends in real life are not fat, nor attracted to someone who's fat. I think having people outside our BBW/FA friends here as friends keeps us balanced. As much as I pride myself as an FA, I don't let it consume my life. It's just a great part of it.
Same here. I love being an FA, but I would hate for my preference to become my entire identity.

My friends who aren't FAs/fat women or what have you have actually become far more understanding and tolerant and even in some cases embracing of the size acceptance "movement" just from hearing me talk about it or meeting my girlfriends in the past and seeing how much it means to me. I think that is incredibly important when it comes to achieving that particular goal.

That said I really wish the friends I've made on this forum weren't so spread out. There are people I'd love to be able to hang out way more often.
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Old 10-30-2009, 06:03 AM   #5
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Can't say Dimensions has directly changed my social life too much in the decade I've been here. Indirectly, though, it's made a tremendous difference. Before Dims I was pretty confident and outgoing, but I dealt with size issues more or less on my own and always wondered whether I was handling various situations okay. Now I can share experiences with many other fat women (and our admirers) from all walks of life. It could be something as basic as buying a reliable fat-friendly new car last year to helpful hints about daily life in a very large body. Before Dims I would go out with friends and quietly hope the seating could accommodate me. Now I'm much more likely to ask in advance whether wherever we're going has space and support for my fat, how many stairs we might climb etc. Some days I feel proud of my fat because it's made me a better person, and some days I feel my fat is just kinda there. Anyway I gotta be me, and Dims has sure helped improve my quality of life.
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Old 10-30-2009, 08:38 AM   #6
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Great question.

I think Dimensions has helped me become more social. Before I joined Dimensions, I was sheltered and would always stay home because I figured I was ugly and whatever. Then, as I spent more time at DIM, I noticed my confidence building.

First, I stopped wearing my baggy, black clothes. I took out all my facial piercings. I stopped being a 'rebel'. I began to clothe myself in the way I felt: attractive.

Secondly, I began to venture out and become active on campus and met A LOT of people. I had more confidence in my body, so I held myself higher, I suppose.

Lastly, DIM has allowed me to be open with my friends (that I had before DIM) about my confidence about being fat. I let everyone know I am fat, and there's nothing they can do about it. They'll just have to deal. Without DIM, I doubt I would've done that, honestly...

I really haven't been able to meet a lot of people from DIM ...so, yeah.
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Old 10-30-2009, 08:57 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by FatAndProud View Post
Great question.

I think Dimensions has helped me become more social. Before I joined Dimensions, I was sheltered and would always stay home because I figured I was ugly and whatever. Then, as I spent more time at DIM, I noticed my confidence building.

First, I stopped wearing my baggy, black clothes. I took out all my facial piercings. I stopped being a 'rebel'. I began to clothe myself in the way I felt: attractive.

Secondly, I began to venture out and become active on campus and met A LOT of people. I had more confidence in my body, so I held myself higher, I suppose.

Lastly, DIM has allowed me to be open with my friends (that I had before DIM) about my confidence about being fat. I let everyone know I am fat, and there's nothing they can do about it. They'll just have to deal. Without DIM, I doubt I would've done that, honestly...

I really haven't been able to meet a lot of people from DIM ...so, yeah.
I'm a dope, but I just had to say, this post made me tear up a little bit. I think a lot of us can identify with what you've written and that terrifying and crazy-beautiful process of shedding your skin and rebuilding.

Anyway. I'm really happy for you.
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Old 10-30-2009, 09:18 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by Carrie View Post
I'm a dope, but I just had to say, this post made me tear up a little bit. I think a lot of us can identify with what you've written and that terrifying and crazy-beautiful process of shedding your skin and rebuilding.

Anyway. I'm really happy for you.
Thank you so much. It's definitely been a process. A process, but an enjoyable one! I figure for the rest of my life I will always be learning more/evolving
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Old 10-30-2009, 05:56 PM   #9
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Ever since becoming active in Dims, I go camping more often than I used to...

My becoming more active in Dims came after the disbanding of our local NAAFA chapter, so to me, Dims has been more of a replacement of that part of my social life than an addition. I still socialize with my colleagues and hometown friends as much as I used to, I never separated these two parts of my life. I guess for me, since becoming more active in Dims things really haven't changed that much overall.
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Old 10-30-2009, 08:04 PM   #10
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I guess mine hasn't changed much, probably because I don't really interact with anyone on this site (yet). I'm fairly new and I've been a lurker more than an active poster so I haven't gotten to know anyone. I have, however, read a LOT and I love the viewpoints, the experiences, the fabulous attitudes from the strong females and the guys just seem to be such great guys (and when you're a BBW, this discovery is incredible lol). If I'm having an I Feel Fat day, pretty much every time it happens I will think of this site and remember that fat isn't a bad word anymore (whereas when I was younger, it SO was). I don't think I'm at the level of confidence that a lot of the beautiful women on this site seem to have (I'm not insecure per se, but you girls are amazing!) but like I said, I will think of this site if I have one of those I'm Not Good Enough moments and that icky thought passes a hell of a lot quicker than it ever did before I found Dims. This site hasn't changed my social life, I've always been either very outgoing or very introverted depending on my mood at the time, but it HAS changed my way of thinking about myself. I've been having a really bad month fighting the cold that won't go away (the flu) and I won't go into a long soapbox spiel but having dealt with a few doctors and the ER twice since the first week of October, my views on all medical personnel was headed downhill fast - and then a few days ago when I was about to lose my mind in frustration at how some doctors are just complete and utter assholes, I saw a thread on how doctors treat their fat patients. Reading the links included I have to say, it's good to know others understand this BS that goes on (at the Doctor's office). So even if my social life hasn't changed after Dims, I myself HAVE changed.
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Old 10-30-2009, 08:59 PM   #11
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This is a really hard question for me to answer, because I don't drive...which is my own personal choice, up until this point.

I started participating in Dimensions when most of the friends that I went to school with moved away, being that this is a predominantly college town. I was still here, because my mom was going to school here, and I live with my mother and help take care of my grandma.

Because I DON'T drive, I have limited MYSELF in the ways that I can interact with the friends that have moved away.

I do, however, have a reasonably active social life outside of Dimensions. I go out with friends at least once a week 9 times out of 10, on a weekly basis. My work schedule though, doesn't really allow for me to go out all that frequently.

So...many of the friendships I hold dearest are ones that were formed here and and subsequently, my first Jersey and Memorial Day Bashes.

I agree with BGB though. I definitely wish that I was able to hang out on a more frequent basis with the people I am closest to from this board...and a few others as well.
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Old 10-30-2009, 09:45 PM   #12
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Dims has changed my social life a lot. I think I actually have more people that I would call friends now. HOWEVER I dont actually socialize as much as I did prior to Dims.

This may have to do with my age as well. As I get older I dont go out drinking on the weekends and party like I did when i was in my 20 and even early 30's - most my non-dims friends are married and have kids and want to talk about things i cant relate too. I feel that I have more things in common with people here. especially the SSS. you know who you are.
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Old 10-30-2009, 09:52 PM   #13
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Honestly, my social life remains unchanged. Most people that I hung out with are out of town for school, I hardly have anyone to hang out with. The ones I can hang out with here, for some reason, don't really try to hang out with me that much.

I'm a lonely guy.
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Old 10-30-2009, 10:30 PM   #14
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more like bro-cial life amirite
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Old 10-30-2009, 10:48 PM   #15
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more like bro-cial life amirite
this. so this. +1
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