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View Poll Results: How do you see yourself in relation to forming relationships with fat people?
I am in the closet and have no desire to come out 11 9.57%
I am in the closet and would like to come out 20 17.39%
I am out of the closet 84 73.04%
Voters: 115. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 11-16-2009, 07:19 PM   #1
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Default The FA closet. Are you in or out?

This poll is accompanying the FA Myth thread:

"Most FAs choose to indefinitely stay in the closet rather than attempt to forge real life relationships with fat people"

Whether you identify as an FA or not, obviously this is a poll that can only be answered by people who have an aesthetic towards fat people.

Needless to say its completely anonymous so honest answers please!

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Old 11-16-2009, 07:57 PM   #2
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There's a halfway option between in and out that's missing, which is more or less where I'm at. Mainly because I'm not all that outgoing- I'm actually fairly shy and mostly keep to myself. I'll talk about it if I'm asked, but not all that much otherwise.

Except for a handful of people, for personal reasons. Mainly to make my life far, far easier; but these are generally people who I wouldn't really discuss my relationships with anyhow, so no major loss, as far as I'm concerned.
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Old 11-16-2009, 07:59 PM   #3
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Happily out of the closest! One of the best decisions of my life!
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Old 11-16-2009, 08:25 PM   #4
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There's a halfway option between in and out that's missing, which is more or less where I'm at. Mainly because I'm not all that outgoing- I'm actually fairly shy and mostly keep to myself. I'll talk about it if I'm asked, but not all that much otherwise.

Except for a handful of people, for personal reasons. Mainly to make my life far, far easier; but these are generally people who I wouldn't really discuss my relationships with anyhow, so no major loss, as far as I'm concerned.
I think I'm still in the time window for mod edits on the poll options so I could try and add another option if you can think of an appropriate field to describe where you are at?

For reference, I would define 'out' as being comfortable with dating and ultimately being in a relationship with a fat person. That doesn't mean you actually have to have done so (although that probably helps in terms of being certain with an answer to this poll)... just that one honestly feels comfortable with the idea of living out an otherwise standard relationship with someone who is fat.

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Old 11-16-2009, 09:56 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by James View Post
I think I'm still in the time window for mod edits on the poll options so I could try and add another option if you can think of an appropriate field to describe where you are at?

For reference, I would define 'out' as being comfortable with dating and ultimately being in a relationship with a fat person. That doesn't mean you actually have to have done so (although that probably helps in terms of being certain with an answer to this poll)... just that one honestly feels comfortable with the idea of living out an otherwise standard relationship with someone who is fat.
I agree with that.

Edit: I'm out in that sense. I feel no need to yell it to the world or flag twirl even, but I always tell the truth, have had relationships with fat partners in the past, and continue to (Attempt lol) to do so.

My family knows, and most of my closer friends know in some way. Usually it's just something I might pop into a conversation if it moves that direction, but I have no desire to discuss it every second.
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Old 11-16-2009, 09:59 PM   #6
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I LOATHE the "in the closet" terminology, but if it gets the point across, so be it. At any rate, good poll question.

Someday, a follow-up question about how vocal FAs are about their preference would be interesting too.

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Old 11-16-2009, 10:29 PM   #7
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Obviously, many of us around Dimensions (at least those who post) aren't in any sort of FA closet.

I would say, though, that nearly every fat woman that I've gotten to know over the years has mentioned the closet thing as being a serious pain-in-the-ass problem.
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Old 11-16-2009, 10:47 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by Santaclear View Post
Obviously, many of us around Dimensions (at least those who post) aren't in any sort of FA closet.

I would say, though, that nearly every fat woman that I've gotten to know over the years has mentioned this as being a serious pain-in-the-ass problem.
I've heard it a lot from women too. This poll isn't going to be fully representative of all FAs but it will hopefully indicate the distribution amongst those that are willing to vote (assuming honesty). I'm hoping some BBWs and BHMs will chime in on the myth thread to add perspective.
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Old 11-16-2009, 10:48 PM   #9
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there are guys who are out on dims and even go to events but aren't out IRL. is that an entirely new category?
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Old 11-16-2009, 10:57 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by superodalisque View Post
there are guys who are out on dims and even go to events but aren't out IRL. is that an entirely new category?
Yeah, that's true. They're basically closeted then.
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Old 11-16-2009, 11:34 PM   #11
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I am actually out of the closet. I'm glad, too.
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Old 11-16-2009, 11:38 PM   #12
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Out and about and happy to forge my fat relationships in real life...
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Old 11-16-2009, 11:40 PM   #13
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there are guys who are out on dims and even go to events but aren't out IRL. is that an entirely new category?
If someone like this is voting. They've gotta pick one of the first two options in my opinion.
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Old 11-17-2009, 01:54 AM   #14
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out and vocal; especially when drunk
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Old 11-18-2009, 04:13 AM   #15
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out and vocal; especially when drunk
This. It doesn't always go down well with girls I've been hitting on either!
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Old 11-19-2009, 04:49 AM   #16
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I'm curious. We all know about those who are out. They are wonderful people, the heroes of fat women everywhere. (Okay, okay, I exaggerate. I know that open FAs can be either "good" or "bad".) And we know about those who want to come out. We encourage them to come into the light, for their own happiness and for the good of fat women everywhere. But what about this third group, the ones who DON'T want to come out? Is there any defense of their position, or are they reprehensible, slimy creatures, who all live double lives and cheat on their non-fat partners? I honestly don't know. Any opinions? (I'm not asking that group to defend itself, and I don't doubt their existence. I'm just wondering how people feel about this. Has anyone observed this species in the wild?)
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Old 11-19-2009, 05:24 AM   #17
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I pity those who cannot accept themselves for who they are for fear of societal rejection or what ever reason. I would say to those people; look at what you have here, is it worth appearing to adheare to the societal norm when inside you never will, if your friends, family, co-workers, if these people would reject you for who you are, then are they really people you want in your life?

Are you going to destroy your chance of happiness so that you fit in?

Who are you trying to please? and why?
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Old 11-19-2009, 08:03 AM   #18
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It depends on the circumstances. If they're dating a big girl but hiding it from people, then yeah, douchebag, but if they aren't actively seeking to get with a girl and aren't doing anything that otherwise negatively influences others, then it's their right to be in the closet about it.

It's a shame, sure, but they shouldn't be lynched for it. Likewise those who say they're having a hard time coming out of the closet about it shouldn't be given shit (in which case they shouldn't bring it up on the main dimensions forum. christ).
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Old 11-19-2009, 08:28 AM   #19
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In the closet.

































With a fat chick, if you know what I'm sayin'.
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Old 11-19-2009, 08:34 AM   #20
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been out since the 3rd grade. love bbws and ssbbws with a passion.


























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Old 11-19-2009, 12:20 PM   #21
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I cannot hide my wife cause she's too big
I'm out and proud.
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Old 11-19-2009, 06:39 PM   #22
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I'm hoping some BBWs and BHMs will chime in on the myth thread to add perspective.
I think most FA's are out in the sense that they will date large women and bring them around family & friends and don't act like they are dating them out of pity or despite looks. I don't think you necessarily need to say to everyone, hi, I'm a chubby chaser, to be out. So yeah, based on that definition I'd say most are out. That has been my experience both in talking to people at Dims and in real life. Generally, the FA's I meet in real life aren't part of the community (to my knowledge) but I know they are out because otherwise I wouldn't be privvy to the information. Of course, there are exceptions and I've come into contact with a few. Generally speaking, if they haven't hurt any fat women by leading them on or whatever, I have no problem with that. I don't care if they stay in the closet for the rest of their life. (Although I do think it's wrong to date thin women if you aren't bisizual because they deserve to be with someone that legitimately finds them attractive just as we do.) It's when closet cases go out and sleep with fat women or lead them on and then don't follow up, that pisses me off. Generally though, I think this is a smaller percentage of FA's than out FA's.
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Old 11-19-2009, 07:21 PM   #23
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Obviously, many of us around Dimensions (at least those who post) aren't in any sort of FA closet.
yeah you can't be in the closet behind the anonymity of the internet
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Old 11-19-2009, 07:22 PM   #24
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where's the option for I'M OUT OF THE CLOSET AND WOULD LIKE TO GO BACK IN james
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Old 11-19-2009, 07:37 PM   #25
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I chopped my closet up years ago and burned that fucker for warmth in the winter! :P Never going back!
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