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Old 11-23-2009, 01:38 PM   #1
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Am i the only one here..??
I would say if i had to pick a sexuality that described me i would say 'lesbian' because i generally want to have sex with women.
-Though..there have been times i have seen a fat guy and thought .."ah mmmmm yas jubbles"
-I can look as a fat male body and think "wow..he is beautiful and his body is really interesting to me"- Actually to the point i am turned on
-when i read stories about fat guys when i was younger i would/could be just as turned on as if i were reading about a woman..

I dont know why i have never considered actually 'being' with a fat guy though.. i think there is a difference between interest in something beautiful and an everyday sexuality.

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Old 11-23-2009, 01:51 PM   #2
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I'd identify myself as fat-sexual. That is, fat takes precedence over "traditional" sexual desires (i.e. the actual act of sex). I find fat guys as visually appealling as fat women, but in terms of attraction, I'd rather be with a woman.
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Old 11-23-2009, 02:25 PM   #3
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yeah.. whats with that?.
i was playing a gig and a big fat hairy roadie man's belly was the focus of my songs..
but i wouldn't fuck him though..
but what is with that??
focused fat lovelyness and tingling.. but not wanting to fuck..
I cant work out if i'm shallow or really deep!!
I'm UP TO HIGH DOH!!!
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Old 11-23-2009, 02:29 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by mergirl View Post
yeah.. whats with that?.
i was playing a gig and a big fat hairy roadie man's belly was the focus of my songs..
but i wouldn't fuck him though..
but what is with that??
focused fat lovelyness and tingling.. but not wanting to fuck..
I cant work out if i'm shallow or really deep!!
I'm UP TO HIGH DOH!!!
Oh yea, if I see a nice belly, you've pretty much lost any chance of getting my attention for a while. Going to a beach with a bunch of big guys and girls, it's like a tennis match.
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Old 11-23-2009, 07:46 PM   #5
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I am pretty sure you are not the only one, Mer.

I don't exactly identify as fat-sexual, but I suppose I am a queer-sexual. I am sexually attracted to women only, but I often find myself gawking at very pretty femme gay boys and it doesn't matter if they are thin or fat. However, I do think that fat men tend to look a lot softer and pass better. I can't count the number of times I have drooled at a hot fat butch, only to find out that it is actually a man! The disappointment kills my interest right away.
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Old 11-23-2009, 08:56 PM   #6
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I can relate to that, although from the flip side... I'm not particularly interested in having sex with another woman, but I do find curvy women's bodies beautiful and "interesting to look at," to use your phrasing.
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Old 11-24-2009, 06:15 AM   #7
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Yeah, I'm not particularly interested in actual intercourse with anyone, male or female (husband included) - the act just doesn't do a lot for me, mostly due to some peripheral nerve misconnections, but I won't go into those details.

Anyway, my current situation is that I'm only attracted to fat men and women, although they are disappointed when all I want to do is kiss and grope them.....so some faking is required for the husband, and anyone else will just have to live with the flirting
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Old 11-24-2009, 06:59 AM   #8
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Yeah, I'm not particularly interested in actual intercourse with anyone, male or female (husband included) - the act just doesn't do a lot for me, mostly due to some peripheral nerve misconnections, but I won't go into those details.

Anyway, my current situation is that I'm only attracted to fat men and women, although they are disappointed when all I want to do is kiss and grope them.....so some faking is required for the husband, and anyone else will just have to live with the flirting
I actually know a few people who could do without the act of actual sex. My friend would rather have a good spanking sesh which leaves her totally satisfied and not bothered with the actual sex act.
Flirting is always (well usually) appreciated by people so no harm in that, as for kissing and groping..well thats nice too!
Can you orgasm by kissing and groping someone fat though? Or do you just never orgasm... do you kinna brain orgasm? Ok i am being very personal.. so you don't have to answer that. ...(pssst though if you don't pm me!! )
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Old 11-24-2009, 08:04 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by mergirl View Post
I actually know a few people who could do without the act of actual sex. My friend would rather have a good spanking sesh which leaves her totally satisfied and not bothered with the actual sex act.
Flirting is always (well usually) appreciated by people so no harm in that, as for kissing and groping..well thats nice too!
Can you orgasm by kissing and groping someone fat though? Or do you just never orgasm... do you kinna brain orgasm? Ok i am being very personal.. so you don't have to answer that. ...(pssst though if you don't pm me!! )
Haha...not too personal.

I have never had an orgasm, nor do I have any sensations that would lead me to believe I am capable of having one.
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Old 11-24-2009, 09:58 AM   #10
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omg, I love love love this thread title! I don't know why.

I'm straight as an arrow but I've often found myself attracted to butch girls. My attraction stops below the waist though as butch girls don't have the equipment I require. Do you think conceptually that you could actually be intimate with a fat guy though mer or is it just a visceral response? Tell me it's none of my &@%! business!

ETA: Oop! Nevermind, you answered. Should have kept reading. I will leave the question though as evidence of my slowness.
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Old 11-24-2009, 10:46 AM   #11
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Originally Posted by mergirl View Post
Am i the only one here..??
I would say if i had to pick a sexuality that described me i would say 'lesbian' because i generally want to have sex with women.
-Though..there have been times i have seen a fat guy and thought .."ah mmmmm yas jubbles"
-I can look as a fat male body and think "wow..he is beautiful and his body is really interesting to me"- Actually to the point i am turned on
-when i read stories about fat guys when i was younger i would/could be just as turned on as if i were reading about a woman..

I dont know why i have never considered actually 'being' with a fat guy though.. i think there is a difference between interest in something beautiful and an everyday sexuality.

eta-can't belive tad is on holiday!! i'm counting on you now Telute!!!!!

This is an interesting question. I prefer fat women, I tend to find myself more sexually attracted to them. When it comes to men I find tall, fit, athletic men to be my preference.
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Old 11-24-2009, 12:01 PM   #12
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omg, I love love love this thread title! I don't know why.

I'm straight as an arrow but I've often found myself attracted to butch girls. My attraction stops below the waist though as butch girls don't have the equipment I require. Do you think conceptually that you could actually be intimate with a fat guy though mer or is it just a visceral response? Tell me it's none of my &@%! business!

ETA: Oop! Nevermind, you answered. Should have kept reading. I will leave the question though as evidence of my slowness.
No..actually, i (if i was single) would probs have sex with a fat guy.. weirdly the guys i have been with have mainly been thin though.. which i weird. I was kinna trying to convay that although i find fat guys bodies...hmm 'facinating' (makes it sound like they are a nature documentary)- i wouldn't necessaraly be sexually attracted to them in other ways. Hmm its difficult to explain. I guess kinna like the way you say you are with butch women and not having the equiptment you require.. i guess thats kinna the same with guys for me.

p.s. we have equipment that we can remove and put in our sock drawer which ALWAYS stays hard!!
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Old 11-24-2009, 12:04 PM   #13
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This is an interesting question. I prefer fat women, I tend to find myself more sexually attracted to them. When it comes to men I find tall, fit, athletic men to be my preference.
ahh.. see the famous guys i would say i think are hot are not fat.. maby its an in the moment thing.
Thats interesting that you like fat women and athletic men.. I was going to make a comment about that but i would have to make too many appologies to every factor of this society with my generalisations! lmao.
Do you ever find thin women attractive or do they have to be fat for you to find them attractive?
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Old 11-24-2009, 12:08 PM   #14
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ahh.. see the famous guys i would say i think are hot are not fat.. maby its an in the moment thing.
Thats interesting that you like fat women and athletic men.. I was going to make a comment about that but i would have to make too many appologies to every factor of this society with my generalisations! lmao.
Do you ever find thin women attractive or do they have to be fat for you to find them attractive?
Hmm actually.. thinking about it..i'm not sure i would (sleep with a fat guy).. maby i ...hmm oh i dont know!!??. This is going to sound rediculously soppy but i can't actually imagine having sex with anyone else but my gf, which is weird because in any other relationship ive thought about sex with other people a lot! lmao.
This is going to sound weird but i think if i was fat i would be more bi-sexual. Which might not make any sense... but it makes sense to me!! lmao
Eta- I would be bi-fat-sexual
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Old 11-24-2009, 12:09 PM   #15
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ahh.. see the famous guys i would say i think are hot are not fat.. maby its an in the moment thing.
Thats interesting that you like fat women and athletic men.. I was going to make a comment about that but i would have to make too many appologies to every factor of this society with my generalisations! lmao.
Do you ever find thin women attractive or do they have to be fat for you to find them attractive?

I find some thin women attractive but not to the point where I wanted to have sex with them, all the women I've been with have been fat.
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Old 11-24-2009, 12:12 PM   #16
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Haha...not too personal.

I have never had an orgasm, nor do I have any sensations that would lead me to believe I am capable of having one.
I remember the 1st time i had an orgasm it took me about an hour to have one.. (A teenage mag told me how to do it!!) and that was by myself!! I thought i couldnt have one..
Do you ever have mental orgasm feelings .. like feeling more and more turned on?
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Old 11-24-2009, 12:15 PM   #17
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I find some thin women attractive but not to the point where I wanted to have sex with them, all the women I've been with have been fat.
hmm.. see thats kind of like me.. i think thin women and guys are on the same par- I might think they are hot but not enough for me to have sex with... though i have in the past, but its never felt fulfilling to me somehow. I know people say this a lot but there was something missing.
Eta-Breasts about about 10 stone.
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Old 11-24-2009, 12:22 PM   #18
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No..actually, i (if i was single) would probs have sex with a fat guy.. weirdly the guys i have been with have mainly been thin though.. which i weird. I was kinna trying to convay that although i find fat guys bodies...hmm 'facinating' (makes it sound like they are a nature documentary)- i wouldn't necessaraly be sexually attracted to them in other ways. Hmm its difficult to explain. I guess kinna like the way you say you are with butch women and not having the equiptment you require.. i guess thats kinna the same with guys for me.

p.s. we have equipment that we can remove and put in our sock drawer which ALWAYS stays hard!!
Haha, yes I've thought of that. It wouldn't work for me though. It really is a mental thing. Conceptually I could have a drag queen for a long term partner and exist happily without a single complaint. I don't know if there's a name for that. Cock whore comes to mind, I don't know.
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Old 11-25-2009, 12:39 AM   #19
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TMI alert.

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Originally Posted by mergirl View Post
I actually know a few people who could do without the act of actual sex. My friend would rather have a good spanking sesh which leaves her totally satisfied and not bothered with the actual sex act.
Flirting is always (well usually) appreciated by people so no harm in that, as for kissing and groping..well thats nice too!
Can you orgasm by kissing and groping someone fat though? Or do you just never orgasm... do you kinna brain orgasm? Ok i am being very personal.. so you don't have to answer that. ...(pssst though if you don't pm me!! )
Oh I remember those teenage mag articles! Bubble bath, dim lights, candles and petals on the bed, think of sandy beaches and slooowly rub yourself all over... I failed. I get so much more pleasure from wicked fantasies involving hot fat butch women while a fierce jet of hot water beating down on me works much better.

I don't get physical orgasms and don't like being touched down there at all (I am not against the idea but it just doesn't seem to work for me, plus I also have vaginismus which makes penetration too painful). I am pretty sure I get "mental orgasms" - I feed on the energy of my partner and can get very carried away, even though I am usually dry down there. It happens a lot more during an intense BDSM session than when I am just fucking someone (fist > strap-on > fingers when it comes to intensity and probability of this endorphin rush).

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Originally Posted by LillyBBBW View Post
Haha, yes I've thought of that. It wouldn't work for me though. It really is a mental thing. Conceptually I could have a drag queen for a long term partner and exist happily without a single complaint. I don't know if there's a name for that. Cock whore comes to mind, I don't know.
LOL cock whore! Would you date a very feminine pre-op MtF with a functional tool?

I feel like the opposite, since I love very masculine stone butches and FtMs! I am very turned off by real penises, but I can tolerate it on a pre-op MtF if I like her enough, as long as she keeps it out of the way during sex.
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Old 11-25-2009, 07:21 AM   #20
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Haha, yes I've thought of that. It wouldn't work for me though. It really is a mental thing. Conceptually I could have a drag queen for a long term partner and exist happily without a single complaint. I don't know if there's a name for that. Cock whore comes to mind, I don't know.
lol 'cock whore'.. yeah.. am thinking perhaps i am a cunt whore. Its interesting, to what level is biology and to what level psychology (or some pheromonal animal attraction?).
I think it is different for different people. To me its something i can't describe; Its not about organs or how gender typed a person is (Though i am rarely if never attracted to very butch women..hmm so maby it is). Actually that might be it.. for me at least- I am attracted to feminine gendertype mainly- I wonder if i could date a very feminine crossdresser? (If you have ever seen the film 'better than chocolate i kinna thought the transexual (Think she still had a willy) was very beautiful. *Better than chocolate is a shite lesbian film.. i wouldn't recomend it though the transexual's song "I'm not a fucking drag queen is pretty good!").
I have a friend who is cock daft.. i mean seriously.. she loves them and draws them and LOVES giving blowjobs.. she just loves cock. She said she is kinna bi and likes breasts but she would need a cock to satisfy her sexually (Though she admits that generally it takes more than just the cock to actually bring her to orgasm).. I guess its the psychology of the cock.. i think i can understand this but its hard to translate somehow.
For me just knowing that someone is a woman is needed- is it spiritual? (or maby innate)
Do you think thats what its like for you with men?

I often ask guys who say they are totally straight (it generally doesnt work with women) If they were blindfolded and surrounded by about 5 really hot women and there was one guy there.. and someone was sucking your cock, would you really care that it might be the guy? Since you have the thought of the women in your head and don't know. Most of the guys i have asked this to honestly said they wouldn't care and would just enjoy the blowjob. I'm talking straight mens men! ... I think men and women are different in that respect though..
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Old 11-25-2009, 07:30 AM   #21
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TMI alert.



Oh I remember those teenage mag articles! Bubble bath, dim lights, candles and petals on the bed, think of sandy beaches and slooowly rub yourself all over... I failed. I get so much more pleasure from wicked fantasies involving hot fat butch women while a fierce jet of hot water beating down on me works much better.

I don't get physical orgasms and don't like being touched down there at all (I am not against the idea but it just doesn't seem to work for me, plus I also have vaginismus which makes penetration too painful). I am pretty sure I get "mental orgasms" - I feed on the energy of my partner and can get very carried away, even though I am usually dry down there. It happens a lot more during an intense BDSM session than when I am just fucking someone (fist > strap-on > fingers when it comes to intensity and probability of this endorphin rush).
Ahh.. i know a few doms that don't like being touched and derive all their pleasure from being dominant. I guess if you are having pleasure then i don't see whats so bad about it. I think if it was something that was making you sad or psychologically messing you up then there would be a problem but if you are satisfied i don't see why you should adhere to Marie Clare's idea of pleasure.
I can't actually remember the whole bath n bubbles thing lol.. i just remember finding out it was possible from the mag 'just 17' which i read when i was 14. i remember it took ages but after i thought "That is the coolest thing ever"..I remember asking my (close) friends at school if they did it too .. and we were all slightly embarresed but then were like "yeah its great"!! haha.. Anyway, not bath n bubbles for me.. just determination and thoughts of my chubby hot geography teacher!
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Old 11-25-2009, 09:04 AM   #22
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TMI alert.



Oh I remember those teenage mag articles! Bubble bath, dim lights, candles and petals on the bed, think of sandy beaches and slooowly rub yourself all over... I failed. I get so much more pleasure from wicked fantasies involving hot fat butch women while a fierce jet of hot water beating down on me works much better.

I don't get physical orgasms and don't like being touched down there at all (I am not against the idea but it just doesn't seem to work for me, plus I also have vaginismus which makes penetration too painful). I am pretty sure I get "mental orgasms" - I feed on the energy of my partner and can get very carried away, even though I am usually dry down there. It happens a lot more during an intense BDSM session than when I am just fucking someone (fist > strap-on > fingers when it comes to intensity and probability of this endorphin rush).



LOL cock whore! Would you date a very feminine pre-op MtF with a functional tool?

I feel like the opposite, since I love very masculine stone butches and FtMs! I am very turned off by real penises, but I can tolerate it on a pre-op MtF if I like her enough, as long as she keeps it out of the way during sex.
Well a lot would depend on personality and all that but yes, I think I would be happy with a pre-op MtF. After the operation would be a problem though, I'm beig honest. I don't think I could or would be happy with a strap on or a dildo. I don't even use them myself and I think if I were blindfolded I would know the difference right away. A pre-op MtF would be perfect for me but I wouldn't want to dissuade someone from being completely happy with themselvs for my sake. A post-op FtM? I don't know. I'm too ignorant at this point to say for sure but anything is possible. If I were with a guy for 5 years and found out later that he was female 20 years ago I might be a bit miffed that I wasn't told but it wouldn't be grounds for me to leave him if I was happy before.
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Old 11-25-2009, 11:01 AM   #23
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I don't have anything personal to add to this discussion. But I wanted to note that I think it's interesting and kind of wonderful how the experiences of some people here seem to suggest that fat can subvert ideas of gender.

That "fat" can act as a sexuality may provide some evidence to support the idea that "sexuality" as we've defined it--male/female, straight/gay, etc.--is not a category that describes "natural" sex drives along a gendered continuum. At the very least, it problematizes or complicates that idea that sex acts are always grounded in a supposed natural drive that's decided by an individual's "gender" or "sexual orientation."

Actually, queer sexualities already accomplish those complications. But the suggestion of a "fat sexuality" that transcends parsing of attraction according to gender seems to dislocate sex drives further from the sphere of gendered human interactions as we've understood them, where queerness is often understood and treated by expanding traditional categories of gender in the name of inclusion.

In some sense, "fat sex" that transcends gender seems to want to take sexuality out of the realm of sexuality defined exclusively by genitals.

This make sense to anyone?
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Old 11-25-2009, 11:28 AM   #24
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I don't have anything personal to add to this discussion. But I wanted to note that I think it's interesting and kind of wonderful how the experiences of some people here seem to suggest that fat can subvert ideas of gender.

That "fat" can act as a sexuality may provide some evidence to support the idea that "sexuality" as we've defined it--male/female, straight/gay, etc.--is not a category that describes "natural" sex drives along a gendered continuum. At the very least, it problematizes or complicates that idea that sex acts are always grounded in a supposed natural drive that's decided by an individual's "gender" or "sexual orientation."

Actually, queer sexualities already accomplish those complications. But the suggestion of a "fat sexuality" that transcends parsing of attraction according to gender seems to dislocate sex drives further from the sphere of gendered human interactions as we've understood them, where queerness is often understood and treated by expanding traditional categories of gender in the name of inclusion.

In some sense, "fat sex" that transcends gender seems to want to take sexuality out of the realm of sexuality defined exclusively by genitals.

This make sense to anyone?
yes..it makes sense. I have read here about quite a few people who are not actually 'genital sexual' and don't have interest in sex as far as what would be considered 'sex' queer or straight but consider themselves Fa's. There was even a thread before i remember from a woman who was anoyed because there was a few times she had wanted to be sexual with fas a couple of times and they were less interested in sex 'in the usually defined way' and seemed to be more into just being with her with fat as the focus of 'sex'. I know this is different from what you were saying.. but for it to have happened to someone more than once this must be more comon than i though.
I have found this discussion interesting too.. it seems that although we may define ourselves as bi/gay/straight/asexual our sexualities seem to all be different which i think is special and amazing. I love that in many cases, fat seems to be a bridge between gender sexuality somehow.
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Old 11-25-2009, 12:05 PM   #25
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yes..it makes sense. I have read here about quite a few people who are not actually 'genital sexual' and don't have interest in sex as far as what would be considered 'sex' queer or straight but consider themselves Fa's. There was even a thread before i remember from a woman who was anoyed because there was a few times she had wanted to be sexual with fas a couple of times and they were less interested in sex 'in the usually defined way' and seemed to be more into just being with her with fat as the focus of 'sex'. I know this is different from what you were saying.. but for it to have happened to someone more than once this must be more comon than i though.
I have found this discussion interesting too.. it seems that although we may define ourselves as bi/gay/straight/asexual our sexualities seem to all be different which i think is special and amazing. I love that in many cases, fat seems to be a bridge between gender sexuality somehow.
mer, for me it's cool to be able to think of fat as another form of queerness, if queerness is defined as that which dislocates sex and sexual pleasure from the exclusive province of reproduction.

Still, it's amusing to imagine that many "FAs" will likely bristle at the idea of being called queer.
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