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Old 12-06-2009, 02:29 AM   #1
Edens_heel
 
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Default The many sides of Regret and Pride

Hello Dimmers,

So this is a little odd, but bare with me. I posted a note on my Facebook profile recently about a graphic novel project I am working on, and I'd love any help that the members of this fine community could give. Here is the note:

Attention Facebook friends, family and assorted peeps:

I could use your help with a project. I'm working on a small graphic novel. The focus is to paint, illustrate, and use collage, either overtly or abstractly, statements of regret and statements of pride - so in other words, things you've either done yourself or know of from others that are specific sources of regret. From wishing you had asked someone out when you lacked the courage, succeeding at a job interview, personal successes, family failures, etc. Basically anything and everything, be it a source of regret or pride. It can be as extreme or mundane as you like, just please don't skimp on the details!

Entries can be any length, and all will be anonymous in the final product. Just make them personal and, above all else, honest. If you want to submit something, please send me a private message with "Pride and Regret project" in the subject header.

Any further questions about this project, don't hesitate to send me a message or tell me I'm nuts. Also, feel free to send this to others you think might be interested in the project, or who might simply have some stories to tell.

Cheers!


So that's the gist of it. If anyone is interested, please feel free to send me anything and everything - from the fun to the dirty to the frightening. If you have any questions or concerns, again, send me a message.

I hope this is at least a little interesting, and yes, I will be using some of my own anecdotes in the book as well.
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Old 12-06-2009, 01:54 PM   #2
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Ba-dump bump.

Any takers?
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Old 12-06-2009, 03:35 PM   #3
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As you know, I consider this an awesome idea and think it would be wonderful to see the project when it's at completion. PostSecret became huge as an idea and although this is different in its own right, it's got the same intriguing factor.

Here are some of my honest pride and regrets to add to your project.

Pride

I felt felt proud about passing my ServSafe certification exam earlier this year with flying colors.

When I look back and through it, I feel proud of my illustration portfolio and the amount of time, work and expression I've put into building it.

I feel proud of the writing I've done on-line through blogging and elsewhere. I know there's something there if I choose to develop that skill further.

I feel proud of my strength as a partner, a family member, and a friend.


Regrets

I regret not taking a stronger hold in figuring out my career path earlier on.

I regret not being more assertive about obtaining more job experience in my teens to build independence and confidence.

This might seem to contradict the above, but it also applies. I also feel regret for not taking time to truly figure things out more carefully earlier on about my career options and life in general. I took things way too seriously and freaked out.

I regret not taking the opportunity to maintain promising friendships earlier on in my life. I took some people for granted.
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Old 12-07-2009, 12:40 AM   #4
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47 views and only 1 response... damn.
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Old 12-07-2009, 03:44 AM   #5
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Do you want us to do the paint, illustrate, and collaging or are you just looking for ideas and then you'll do the paint, illustrate, and collaging?
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Old 12-07-2009, 03:49 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by goofy girl View Post
Do you want us to do the paint, illustrate, and collaging or are you just looking for ideas and then you'll do the paint, illustrate, and collaging?
Oh the intent was for me to do the paint, illustration and collage based on the ideas provided, but I am very much open to any and all ideas if you have some to share!

Basically, the inspiration for this is from a book called Prayer Requested, by Christian Northeast, where he took random (and sometimes very very odd) prayers he found on the internet and illustrated them for a book. It's a gorgeous book and it has definitely inspired me to do a play on the same concept, but I am looking more to make the illustrations a counterpoint to what has been said.
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Old 12-07-2009, 03:52 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by Edens_heel View Post
Oh the intent was for me to do the paint, illustration and collage based on the ideas provided, but I am very much open to any and all ideas if you have some to share!

Basically, the inspiration for this is from a book called Prayer Requested, by Christian Northeast, where he took random (and sometimes very very odd) prayers he found on the internet and illustrated them for a book. It's a gorgeous book and it has definitely inspired me to do a play on the same concept, but I am looking more to make the illustrations a counterpoint to what has been said.
Oh, ok. That makes it way easier to help lol. I'd rather PM them to you than post (some) of them on the open boards, but I'm more than happy to contribute.
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Old 12-07-2009, 03:59 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by goofy girl View Post
Oh, ok. That makes it way easier to help lol. I'd rather PM them to you than post (some) of them on the open boards, but I'm more than happy to contribute.
Many thanks! I look forward to the PM. And as I said before, trust that everything will remain private and confidential.

Cheers.
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Old 12-07-2009, 11:55 AM   #9
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More regrets:

Not being at home with my family last year during a crisis situation.

Repeating some of the same patterns from my past

Being too foolishly determined in some instances when I should have just accepted and gotten the message.
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Old 12-07-2009, 01:46 PM   #10
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Thank you Goofy, CCC, and others who have responded privately. I'm thrilled that there is some traction to this idea, and I hope many more respond!
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Old 12-11-2009, 02:25 AM   #11
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In desperate need of a bump - still looking for many more entries, and I'm greatly appreciative of those who have taken the time to post or PM me their entries into this project!
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Old 12-11-2009, 02:34 AM   #12
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Regret - I hate that word but I guess it is what it is. I do regret getting married, but Im thankful that I no longer am and that I learned a lot about myself during that time.

I regret not finishing college, but I'm thankful for the career that I have and that I've been able to provide for myself without a proper education.

There are many others - but you can see the pattern - With regret can also pride from the lessons learned while being in the "regretful" experience.
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Old 12-11-2009, 03:03 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigsexy920 View Post
Regret - I hate that word but I guess it is what it is. I do regret getting married, but Im thankful that I no longer am and that I learned a lot about myself during that time.

I regret not finishing college, but I'm thankful for the career that I have and that I've been able to provide for myself without a proper education.

There are many others - but you can see the pattern - With regret can also pride from the lessons learned while being in the "regretful" experience.
Thanks very much, Bigsexy920 - those work perfectly!
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Old 12-13-2009, 05:03 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigsexy920 View Post
Regret - I hate that word but I guess it is what it is. I do regret getting married, but Im thankful that I no longer am and that I learned a lot about myself during that time.

I regret not finishing college, but I'm thankful for the career that I have and that I've been able to provide for myself without a proper education.

There are many others - but you can see the pattern - With regret can also pride from the lessons learned while being in the "regretful" experience.


This is exactly right. Our mistakes are life's classroom of learning. If we didn't have our adversities, how would we recognize the triumphs? Answer: we wouldn't.
I have so many regrets in life it's not even funny, but then again I realize that my mistakes led me to where I am now and over all that's a good place.


If there was one life regret I recognize (and I can't believe I'm posting this publically, but oh well) as a non-distinctive point of learning is being able to be a mother.
I was married before and this particular marriage did not work out. However, one day, on a soul-searching journey across many state lines, (lasted about 2-weeks) I came to a virtual and actual crossroad. I was sitting in my car on the side of a road facing an East or West destination. I was 20yrs old and had a strong urge to go East to a world that would be myself alone in a place of undiscovered area; physically and mentally.

It was to a state I had once lived before as a young child. I had fond memories of this state and pondered if I could be successful living there on my own.
I pulled out my atlas and looked at the familiar state, running my finger along the freeway line; pondering another area to live rather than where I was before. The middle, that's where I'll go and give it a try. I'll take a chance at a new life where no one knows me and I can just depend on myself; start college possibly.
So there I sat in my car for the longest time wondering if it should be East or West; where family, friends, troubling issues, and the security of the "known" layed. I played an inspirational song and half way through, on the bridge of the tune, I pulled my car onto the road and headed East. Yes, I'm going to do this. You guessed it. I chickened out about 10 miles down the road and turned the car around. I decided West, home and all its familiarity, was the "safe" route to go.

Fast forward 14yrs and I'm getting married for the second time. My new husband, a gentle soul, is everything I desired in another human being; he is my best friend. He too had been married before and neither of our marriages produced any children, even though we both desired them. We have talked about having children and have gone far as seeing a reproductive endochrinologist, but so far we have been and remain infertile. I've been checked in most all aspects and the Dr. is unable to find a particular reason as to why I haven't been able to conceive. He finally told me, he could get me pregnant but as predicted it would be costly; more than my husband and I could afford. (Invitro---yeah)

I'm going to be 41yrs old in a few months and my health is not the same as it were at 20yrs. It's safe to say my biological clock is ticking slow and loudly in my head.
While we have talked about and are seriously considering adoption in our near future, there isn't anything in my mind which would fulfill my life as a woman than to give birth to a child (a healthy child) made from the love of my friend. It sounds cliche' when you think about it, but as a woman who sees her friends marry and having children from that union, it doesn't feel so rhetoric. From all of this comes the "what if" game, especially since 14yrs ago I sat on the side of the road and pondered the East or West notion of my youth. You see, my husband just so happened to live in the town where I stopped my finger the road atlas. It's a small town (even to this day) of less that 5,000 people. The larger town next to it has less than 50,000 people, thus only one community college. The same college I would've attended, and my husband, had I been brave enough to keep going East instead of cowarding and turning around.

And there you have it. What if I had gone, met my husband when I was younger, married him then; would we have conceived? Would we have a child who would now be attending college? The game goes on and on in my head with much regret, because in my heart of hearts I feel it was a sign from some greater power than myself pushing me East. There is no logic to this line of thinking, but when it comes to human emotion we're not talking about being logical. My husband plays the "what if" game with me, but when I start crying he reminds me we met and married when we were supposed to meet and marry.
Thus, I come full circle turning logic into a realization that everything my life has been (positive and negative) made me the person I am today. I like the person I am; even with the problems I am facing at this moment. Ultimately I am happy and while there is that regret of not being brave to go East, we met and married when we were supposed to.



I question whether to post this, because it is so personal for me. However, I'll go ahead and let the chips fall where they may.
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