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Old 02-07-2010, 07:05 PM   #51
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Originally Posted by escapist View Post
Compromise = "It takes alot of time and understanding to bridge the gap of social habits..." (Which is what she said)

Some people don't want to adjust what they do to mesh with what their partner can or can not do.

For me I'm perfectly willing to go support her and help her pack her chute but I'm sure as hell not jumping out of a perfectly good airplane. Visa versa, she has little to no inclination to going rock climbing with me....our compromise is indoor rock climbing.
Okay. I suppose at this point you and I are saying the same thing. So I'll let it go.

.....

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Old 02-07-2010, 07:15 PM   #52
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Originally Posted by olwen View Post
Okay. I suppose at this point you and I are saying the same thing. So I'll let it go.

.....
Well like they say, "Its not what you say, its what people hear."

I just quoted her and tried to clarify since it seamed to be misunderstood, heck sometimes people have to do it for me too.
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Old 02-08-2010, 09:39 AM   #53
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THIS QUESTION IS DIRECTED AT BBW/Fat Women ONLY, PLEASE.
This seems to be a consideration for posting in this thread.
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Old 02-08-2010, 10:55 AM   #54
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Originally Posted by steely View Post
This seems to be a consideration for posting in this thread.
Thanks for pointing that out, steely.

Escapist, we understand you're clarifying your friend's postion because she is busy, but really, we're happy to wait until she is no longer busy, to reply herself in the BBW Forum, where the focus should always be on the perspective of the BBWs of our community, especially in threads that ask only for the input of BBWs. Thank you for understanding. If you have any questions about this, please PM a BBW moderator, and we're happy to explain the protected concept that the BBW Forum is moderated by.

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Old 02-08-2010, 11:06 AM   #55
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Originally Posted by butch View Post
Thanks for pointing that out, steely.

Escapist, we understand you're clarifying your friend's postion because she is busy, but really, we're happy to wait until she is no longer busy, to reply herself in the BBW Forum, where the focus should always be on the perspective of the BBWs of our community, especially in threads that ask only for the input of BBWs. Thank you for understanding. If you have any questions about this, please PM a BBW moderator, and we're happy to explain the protected concept that the BBW Forum is moderated by.

-Butch,
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I was also really glad Steely pointed that out. The other piece though, is that his friend's position escapist was clarifying (chickenlegs) was also not coming from a BBW/Fat Woman, but from a thin/athletic woman - as she characterized herself to be. I think we need to keep in mind that this isn't broadly a "women's forum" for women of all sizes, but specifically a forum for BBW or fat women.

Thanks for your moderating, Butch. You rock.
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Old 02-08-2010, 12:25 PM   #56
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Ok..first of I am female..BBW..and FA.

Second I was fit and became fat.

Third I was speaking from my POV of my experiences.

WTF.

I really appreciate that Escapist spoke for me ..even though I told him not to. However its seems kinda odd that all he did was quote me for you folks to understand what I said in the first place.
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Old 02-08-2010, 12:31 PM   #57
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Originally Posted by steely View Post
This seems to be a consideration for posting in this thread.
Yes, thanks for pointing that out. Apologies. I had forgotten that was the request in this thread.

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Old 02-08-2010, 12:32 PM   #58
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Originally Posted by mcbeth View Post
I was also really glad Steely pointed that out. The other piece though, is that his friend's position escapist was clarifying (chickenlegs) was also not coming from a BBW/Fat Woman, but from a thin/athletic woman - as she characterized herself to be. I think we need to keep in mind that this isn't broadly a "women's forum" for women of all sizes, but specifically a forum for BBW or fat women.

Thanks for your moderating, Butch. You rock.
Non bbws are allowed to post in this board. That means, thin women, men, and whatever in between can participate as long as they stick to the rules.
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Old 02-08-2010, 12:35 PM   #59
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Originally Posted by olwen View Post
You do realize your average thin person doesn't go rock climbing or bunjee jumping or anything else extreme. That's just you. The average thin person doesn't do extreme activities and can still go to the gym, do yoga or pilates then come back and spend time with their gf/bf and do what they like. It is possible to be fat and fit.
To clarify....I said thin/althletic....not average thin.
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Old 02-08-2010, 12:42 PM   #60
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Ok..first of I am female..BBW..and FA.

Second I was fit and became fat.

Third I was speaking from my POV of my experiences.

WTF.

I really appreciate that Escapist spoke for me ..even though I told him not to. However its seems kinda odd that all he did was quote me for you folks to understand what I said in the first place.
My apologies. I didn't have all the information.

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Non bbws are allowed to post in this board. That means, thin women, men, and whatever in between can participate as long as they stick to the rules.
In this case, I thought the "rules" for this particular thread (not the board overall) were that it was only directed to BBW/Fat women. I am really not trying to be a stickler or super narrow or anything, but more just wondering how it works when an OP says "This is just for BBW/Fat women" - does that become a rule, at least for that particular thread, or not?

Seriously just trying to get clear on it, and also to honor the original intent of the thread by the OP. Not wanting to cause unnecessary drama.
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Old 02-08-2010, 12:42 PM   #61
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Ok..first of I am female..BBW..and FA.

Second I was fit and became fat.

Third I was speaking from my POV of my experiences.

WTF.

I really appreciate that Escapist spoke for me ..even though I told him not to. However its seems kinda odd that all he did was quote me for you folks to understand what I said in the first place.
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To clarify....I said thin/althletic....not average thin.
Since I'm at work I don't have time to go back and reread the previous posts, so I'm trying to remember the crux of the discussion.

In my mind athletic = roller blading or weight lifting, or running, not extreme sports activities. To me that's thrill seeking. Plus my thin friends just aren't athletic by any sense of the word yet they remain thin. They are perfectly happy to do things that require sitting. They're intellectuals, not jocks. So the idea of a thin lifestyle and a fat lifestyle doesn't make much sense to me. But I suppose that if we have had different experiences then all that applies...
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Old 02-08-2010, 12:44 PM   #62
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My apologies. I didn't have all the information.



In this case, I thought the "rules" for this particular thread (not the board overall) were that it was only directed to BBW/Fat women. I am really not trying to be a stickler or super narrow or anything, but more just wondering how it works when an OP says "This is just for BBW/Fat women" - does that become a rule, at least for that particular thread, or not?

Seriously just trying to get clear on it, and also to honor the original intent of the thread by the OP. Not wanting to cause unnecessary drama.
Yes, if a bbw requests bbw responses only then that rule applies to that thread. I simply forgot that was a rule for this thread before I responded.
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Old 02-08-2010, 12:53 PM   #63
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Oh, the post she had responded to initially didn't say anything about that. Regardless, my point still stands. If someone who is into extreme sports wants to be with someone who can't do extreme sports he/she has to either compromise or not date someone who isn't into what they are into.
When it came to my personal story I was pointing out how it became just sex because of the lack of compromise.

However, some of you decided it was me not doing the compromising...but it wasn't the case.

I was upfront from the jump about what I liked to do and whatnot. However, he wanted to change me (he had issues) and I didn't feel like it because he DIDN'T want to compromise with me in any way shape or form...aka bridge gaps of lifestyle. In other words he objectifed me but didn't like it when I did the same to him. He wanted his way or the highway...so after I fucked him...I took the highway and hung out with my friends.

Compromise goes both ways.
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Old 02-08-2010, 01:26 PM   #64
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Originally Posted by chicken legs View Post
When it came to my personal story I was pointing out how it became just sex because of the lack of compromise.

However, some of you decided it was me not doing the compromising...but it wasn't the case.

I was upfront from the jump about what I liked to do and whatnot. However, he wanted to change me (he had issues) and I didn't feel like it because he DIDN'T want to compromise with me in any way shape or form...aka bridge gaps of lifestyle. In other words he objectifed me but didn't like it when I did the same to him. He wanted his way or the highway...so after I fucked him...I took the highway and hung out with my friends.

Compromise goes both ways.
I have no problem with you posting and explaining your position. In the rules it says others can post "positive and non disruptive posts". It seems that escapist is defending you when you are fully capable of speaking for yourself. It was unnecessary for him to post in the BBW Forum just to defend your position. Everyone, including women, need to read Tina's "Welcome to the BBW Board" for the expectations and considerations of the BBW Forum.
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Old 02-08-2010, 03:28 PM   #65
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Ok..first of I am female..BBW..and FA.

Second I was fit and became fat.

Third I was speaking from my POV of my experiences.

WTF.

I really appreciate that Escapist spoke for me ..even though I told him not to. However its seems kinda odd that all he did was quote me for you folks to understand what I said in the first place.
The primary concern isn't that he quoted you or spoke for you, but that he disregarded the fact that the OP asked for BBW participation only, in a forum where that is a rule we ask all non-BBW posters to adhere to-to not speak in a particular thread if one is asked politely not to, which was the case in this thread. I also offered to explain any of this to him via PM, which is an option for anyone who is unsure of the way this particular forum functions.

I hope now that we've all gotten some things sorted out, we can get back on track with this discussion. Anyone is welcome to, at any time, PM a mod if they are unsure of the protocols for the BBW Forum. Thanks!
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Old 02-08-2010, 03:50 PM   #66
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Anyone is welcome to, at any time, PM a mod if they are unsure of the protocols for the BBW Forum. Thanks!
Can I get this in outline form, and in triplicate, plz? K, thanks.
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Old 02-08-2010, 04:54 PM   #67
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The primary concern isn't that he quoted you or spoke for you, but that he disregarded the fact that the OP asked for BBW participation only, in a forum where that is a rule we ask all non-BBW posters to adhere to-to not speak in a particular thread if one is asked politely not to, which was the case in this thread. I also offered to explain any of this to him via PM, which is an option for anyone who is unsure of the way this particular forum functions.

I hope now that we've all gotten some things sorted out, we can get back on track with this discussion. Anyone is welcome to, at any time, PM a mod if they are unsure of the protocols for the BBW Forum. Thanks!
I can't control what other people do...aka Escapist. I think people read my post without actually reading my post nor did they read my previous posts on older parts of the thread, but what can you do. It just irked me because they said they understood him when all he did was quote me....so the mere mention of thin seemed to get folks all flustered and whatnot.
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Old 02-08-2010, 05:04 PM   #68
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so the mere mention of thin seemed to get folks all flustered and whatnot.
Speaking only for myself, it was not the "mere mention of thin" that made me "all flustered and whatnot." I have no problem with thin people (all of my best friends are thin people ). I just think that when an OP lays out ground rules for a conversation she begins, it is both fair and polite to respect those within the thread.

And I did heartily disagree with your thin lifestyle/fat lifestyle dichotomy, but I wasn't flustered over that, just wanting to present another side.
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Old 02-08-2010, 06:08 PM   #69
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Maybe I'm misunderstanding what you mean, but I really don't think I agree with this. But before I jump to conclusions and feel the need to defend something you might not even be attacking...can you just clarify what you mean by "social habits"?
LOL...ok this looks to ME like flustered...but to YOU its heartily disagreeing. Either way...I responded with an example of my life. A life that included a period of being "thin" (size 3-4...which to me personally isn't thin but then again I hung out with alot of petite asians..so my view is different)...not merely being friends with thin folks..but being thin and highly active ..fucking a person who was very thick (260-300)..who didn't want to compromise even after I slowed down...and gained weight.. for the good of the relationship (because he thought was I was to "thin" but it was really a disguise for his own insecurity).


So my view of a thin/althetic lifestyle vs. a fat lifestyle is based on my life . I am not a scientist nor do I play one on TV. Now, what is "your thin lifestyle/fat lifestyle dichotomy" that you so "heartily" wanted to present?
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Old 02-08-2010, 06:39 PM   #70
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So my view of a thin/althetic lifestyle vs. a fat lifestyle is based on my life . I am not a scientist nor do I play one on TV. Now, what is "your thin lifestyle/fat lifestyle dichotomy" that you so "heartily" wanted to present?
No harm intended, I just disagreed with you (and already did offer other perspectives, as did olwen).

I'm cool with this thread getting back on track.
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Old 02-09-2010, 08:49 AM   #71
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Originally Posted by chicken legs View Post
I can't control what other people do...aka Escapist. I think people read my post without actually reading my post nor did they read my previous posts on older parts of the thread, but what can you do. It just irked me because they said they understood him when all he did was quote me....so the mere mention of thin seemed to get folks all flustered and whatnot.
I don't recall you being asked to control other people, and my post as a mod was directed at Escapist, not you. My coming in to this thread as a mod was simply to ask that the thread get back on track and stay within the guidelines set out by Fascinita, which was to limit the thread to BBW participation. Such a request is allowed and supported by the rules here in this protected forum, and while other threads in the BBW Forum do allow male and non-BBW female participation within certain limits, this one did not. I did not say you couldn't post, since I've read enough of your posts here to know that you identify as a BBW.

I was polite, understanding, and simply doing my job when I posted. I'm not sure if you are confusing my mod duties with the complaints others had about your perspective, but my post had nothing to do with the content of your posts or escapist's posts, all I said was to not post if you're not a fat women, and to please stop arguing in this thread about that rule, and that was meant to be addressed to anyone reading the thread, as a reminder of the ways in which the BBW Forum functions. I have no problem with BBWs debating perspectives on aspects of this question, as long as no rules are being broken.

Since I've asked once for the thread to get back on track, and more debate about the rules of the forum appeared, any more discussion of the rules will be met with infractions. I'm not trying to be secretive when I ask people to PM if they have additional questions about the rules, I'm just trying to keep the thread on track. As Steely points out, there are rules that are in a sticky thread at the top of the BBW Forum, so please seek those out if you are unsure of the rules of the forum.

Thank you,
Butch,
BBW Forum Mod
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Old 02-09-2010, 09:13 PM   #72
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It is no concern to me if some man who admires me prefers to be thin as long as he understands that being thin is a preference. Once a thin man treats me with moral indignation because I prefer to be fat then he is gone.
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Old 03-09-2010, 05:25 AM   #73
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there is a younger german boy who is currently interested in me. boy oh boy does he love fat women. anyway, his body is what you would call rock hard, home boy works out 6 times a week and he boxes. watches what he eat, doesnt really drink, really active. he might be a borderline health nut. over dinner one evening he was talking about his crazy work out schedule, and said, he can't eat anymore because he doesnt wasnt to get fat. and i am like erm, dont you see a huge contradiction in your words and preferences. i mean you hear alot of men into fitness claim that they will never date a fat woman because they dont take good care of their bodies, and the "deserve" someone who isnt fat. he didnt follow that logic. he believed that soft and fluffy and curvy is the ideal shape of a woman, where as hard and chiseled and muscular should be a man's.

he said that i was bringing perfection to the table, so he should bring perfection to the table as well. its totally plausible for a person to desire one thing in a partner but not want to possess that themselves. he appreciates women for the ways they differ from men and not the ways in which they are similar.
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Old 03-09-2010, 05:50 PM   #74
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I think people like what they do not have.
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