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Old 12-19-2009, 12:35 PM   #1
Melian
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Default "Why do you visit this board?" and other questions.

^^^ That's one question. I'm mostly wondering about the other FFAs, but BHMs are welcome to answer, too.

The reason I ask: lately, I've found that this board satisfies several of my needs that regular life just can't seem to satiate, and I want to know if others are in a similar position.

Basically, I've noticed that my fetishes for BHM and BBW are getting more extreme...but they can't be fulfilled, since I'm married, and the guy is not quite a BHM. He also says he wants nothing to do with my fantasies. :/ So pretty much every day, I find myself bouncing back and forth between the BHM, GLBT and Weight boards, as well as the library, trolling around for stimulating material. EVERY DAY. It used to be only once a week or so.

Some people have asked why I didn't just hook up with a BHM or BBW who was into all the same stuff in the first place. Well, it's just not that simple! You think I didn't try?? There's a long list of qualities that I absolutely need in a partner (and I'm a fucking weird chick, so the qualities are weird too), and there have only been 2-3 people who have ever possessed a significant number of them - "fat" and "loves having their fat groped" never seem to accompany any of the other stuff! Why this happens, I have no idea....anyone care to shed some light?

So another question: do you (FFAs, gay FAs) find that it's more difficult to find a fat guy who has your ideal personality/interests/style/etc? It's infinitely harder, for me. I like lists, so here are the issues in list format:

1. There's this specific "look" of a guy's face that drives me wild - thin guys (and my husband) sometimes have it, but fat guys rarely ever do.

2. Over the years, I have found many thin guys who have my EXACT taste in music.....but zero fat guys.

3. It's often a good idea to meet potential partners in the places you frequent, right? Yeah...no fat guys there. I have had several regular haunts, and the only fat guys I found tended to be "that fat guy." You know, the creepy one who lives in his mom's basement and doesn't bathe? Yeah, him.

4. The best looking fat guys had BBW girlfriends, and didn't appear to be interested in thin women (happened soooooo many times). So no chance to even find out if we were compatible.

5. I have worked with a few REALLY attractive fat guys in various labs over the years. Problem is, once their lab coats come off, they are wearing clothes that are totally unappealing to me, and when they stop talking science (our commonality), we have nothing in common (and they bore me). Or they were religious, which I don't even get, coming from scientists!

6. The few fat guys who were hot, clean, and into decent music/movies/games/etc DID NOT WANT TO BE TOUCHED. At all. You can kiss them, and they want to fuck you....but somehow, in the process, your hands must stay off anything between the neck and the cock. WTF? I can't live like that.

Ok, this is turning out to be the longest post in my Dims history, but it's been in the making for years. Do you FFAs get what I'm saying, or am I the only freak who dealt with these problems? I know I'm off the market and none of this technically matters anymore...but it still annoys me to remember the years of futile searching, disappointment and rejection.

If you read all of this - thanks! (even more thanks if you have some answers!)
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Old 12-19-2009, 01:30 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by Melian View Post
Why do you visit this board?
Honestly the main reason I'm on this board is the kick I get out of being appreciated as a piece of meat instead of being appreciated for my mind. Strange but true. Perhaps it's more a case of me not being able to recognize subtle 'chick diggin' it' signals but there really doesn't seem to be a lot of FFAs in my area. If I could find a gal that would love my brain and body around here that would be pretty sweet but I'm not going to hold my breath on that one.

Quote:
So another question: do you (FFAs, gay FAs) find that it's more difficult to find a fat guy who has your ideal personality/interests/style/etc?
I'm neither an FFA not a gay FA so I can't really answer this one but as stated above it's fairly difficult from the other persepctive as well. Finding someone I like who also likes having an ogre around the house is pretty difficult to say the least.
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Old 12-19-2009, 01:42 PM   #3
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I've been a member here for quite a while now. I do a lot more lurking than posting. Anyways, I come here for a little confidence boost now and then. I've not had much luck in the dating world. It's reassuring to know that there are women out there, albeit a small number of them, that like bigger men.

Just of curiosity Melian, what kind of stuff are you into?

Last edited by jdwhitak; 12-19-2009 at 01:45 PM.
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Old 12-19-2009, 02:12 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by djudex View Post
Honestly the main reason I'm on this board is the kick I get out of being appreciated as a piece of meat instead of being appreciated for my mind. Strange but true.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jdwhitak View Post
I've been a member here for quite a while now. I do a lot more lurking than posting. Anyways, I come here for a little confidence boost now and then. I've not had much luck in the dating world. It's reassuring to know that there are women out there, albeit a small number of them, that like bigger men.
I hear ya. Sometimes you just want to feel hot...regardless of how awesome you may be, otherwise.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jdwhitak View Post
Just of curiosity Melian, what kind of stuff are you into?
Music: hard industrial, techno, black/power metal, some grunge and punk

Job-related: I'm a molecular biologist and barely ever see a fat scientist, except the really old ones. And I spend A LOT of time at work - it's Saturday and I'm at work right now.

Lifestyle: atheist, heavily tattooed, sometimes androgynous-looking, likes to go raving, old school console gaming, hanging out at goth/punk bars and fet clubs, cosplaying, zombie walks, urban exploring (), and designing tattoos for fun and profit. I have a very dark sense of humour and tend to offend a lot of people.

Ideal man: shares MOST or all of these interests. Physically, would be taller than I am when I wear my huge boots (so > 6'1), the fatter the better and into feeding/fat fetishism, tattooed, rivethead, likes lizards...

I know guys like that exist, but I've never really met one who was into me. And like I said, I've found a few who were nearly perfect for me, but the missing factor was always the fatness or fat acceptance.
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Old 12-19-2009, 03:46 PM   #5
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I visit this board for the same reason I visit most of the other boards: I like some of the people here and it's fun.
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Old 12-19-2009, 04:33 PM   #6
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You're not alone, I can identify with almost everything you mentioned if you tweak the details a little. :O
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Old 12-19-2009, 05:48 PM   #7
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I come here to whore myself out with pictures.

Just kidding, but not really.
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Old 12-19-2009, 06:24 PM   #8
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I visit this dimensions board before going to sleep . [Maybe] it is because reading posts from Melian let's my pee-pee down there come out of his fat protected shuttle bay area. (I watched Star Trek Insurrection on my notebook in bed, when i was reading the new posts on the bhm/ffa board. Uhhh now comes the face-skin-pulling-up scene... ^^)

To be more spezific: normal (Internet) porn is just dumb and lame for me. Porn stopped being interessting for me when they dropped oldschool Schulmädchen Report (1970-1980) from the german TV!
I love to search the dimensions board to find new or very horny s*xual fantasies and stories.

Furthermore i try to increase my english knowledge by reading escapists posts. I still cant read between the lines very good. (escapist = cool guy & role model )

About the music problem: I'm going on nearly every Industrial/Rhythm'n'Noise & EBM event in my hometown. I never found a girl even looking at me. Fat guys and the Goth-scene is like the Infinite Improbability Drive for Starship Enterprise.
So i sit alone in the disco watching skinny goth chicks dance to Straftanz, wishing the DJ may play some Haus Arafna finally.

Later in bed i try to remember my mind-pictures of these hot skinny gothics/cybers or i visit the dimensions board and read some of Melian's post again ;D.


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Old 12-19-2009, 07:58 PM   #9
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Honestly....not really sure anymore.
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Old 12-19-2009, 08:01 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by Melian View Post
^^^ That's one question. I'm mostly wondering about the other FFAs, but BHMs are welcome to answer, too.

The reason I ask: lately, I've found that this board satisfies several of my needs that regular life just can't seem to satiate, and I want to know if others are in a similar position.

Basically, I've noticed that my fetishes for BHM and BBW are getting more extreme...but they can't be fulfilled, since I'm married, and the guy is not quite a BHM. He also says he wants nothing to do with my fantasies. :/ So pretty much every day, I find myself bouncing back and forth between the BHM, GLBT and Weight boards, as well as the library, trolling around for stimulating material. EVERY DAY. It used to be only once a week or so.

Some people have asked why I didn't just hook up with a BHM or BBW who was into all the same stuff in the first place. Well, it's just not that simple! You think I didn't try?? There's a long list of qualities that I absolutely need in a partner (and I'm a fucking weird chick, so the qualities are weird too), and there have only been 2-3 people who have ever possessed a significant number of them - "fat" and "loves having their fat groped" never seem to accompany any of the other stuff! Why this happens, I have no idea....anyone care to shed some light?

So another question: do you (FFAs, gay FAs) find that it's more difficult to find a fat guy who has your ideal personality/interests/style/etc? It's infinitely harder, for me. I like lists, so here are the issues in list format:

1. There's this specific "look" of a guy's face that drives me wild - thin guys (and my husband) sometimes have it, but fat guys rarely ever do.

2. Over the years, I have found many thin guys who have my EXACT taste in music.....but zero fat guys.

3. It's often a good idea to meet potential partners in the places you frequent, right? Yeah...no fat guys there. I have had several regular haunts, and the only fat guys I found tended to be "that fat guy." You know, the creepy one who lives in his mom's basement and doesn't bathe? Yeah, him.

4. The best looking fat guys had BBW girlfriends, and didn't appear to be interested in thin women (happened soooooo many times). So no chance to even find out if we were compatible.

5. I have worked with a few REALLY attractive fat guys in various labs over the years. Problem is, once their lab coats come off, they are wearing clothes that are totally unappealing to me, and when they stop talking science (our commonality), we have nothing in common (and they bore me). Or they were religious, which I don't even get, coming from scientists!

6. The few fat guys who were hot, clean, and into decent music/movies/games/etc DID NOT WANT TO BE TOUCHED. At all. You can kiss them, and they want to fuck you....but somehow, in the process, your hands must stay off anything between the neck and the cock. WTF? I can't live like that.

Ok, this is turning out to be the longest post in my Dims history, but it's been in the making for years. Do you FFAs get what I'm saying, or am I the only freak who dealt with these problems? I know I'm off the market and none of this technically matters anymore...but it still annoys me to remember the years of futile searching, disappointment and rejection.

If you read all of this - thanks! (even more thanks if you have some answers!)
I can only speak to the last of your concerns... I can't claim hotness. But I spend a reasonable amount of time taking care of myself. BHMs and BBWs may be accepted by their peers but we're not often encouraged to think of ourselves as sexy. For me, allowing someone to rub my belly is a big thing it's literally the softest most vulnerable part of me. For years I veiwed it as the thing women would be ost likely to reject. So, assumptions get made, walls get built, it takes a lot more than a passing fancy to convince a man that it's ok
Lastly, I'm going to say something that a lot of people probably won't agree with. If you ever think the internet begins to take time away from other obligations you should think about talking to someone proffessionally. Addiction to pornography is a lot more common than you think
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Old 12-20-2009, 01:23 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Melian View Post
^^^ That's one question. I'm mostly wondering about the other FFAs, but BHMs are welcome to answer, too.

The reason I ask: lately, I've found that this board satisfies several of my needs that regular life just can't seem to satiate, and I want to know if others are in a similar position.

Basically, I've noticed that my fetishes for BHM and BBW are getting more extreme...but they can't be fulfilled, since I'm married, and the guy is not quite a BHM. He also says he wants nothing to do with my fantasies. :/ So pretty much every day, I find myself bouncing back and forth between the BHM, GLBT and Weight boards, as well as the library, trolling around for stimulating material. EVERY DAY. It used to be only once a week or so.

Some people have asked why I didn't just hook up with a BHM or BBW who was into all the same stuff in the first place. Well, it's just not that simple! You think I didn't try?? There's a long list of qualities that I absolutely need in a partner (and I'm a fucking weird chick, so the qualities are weird too), and there have only been 2-3 people who have ever possessed a significant number of them - "fat" and "loves having their fat groped" never seem to accompany any of the other stuff! Why this happens, I have no idea....anyone care to shed some light?

So another question: do you (FFAs, gay FAs) find that it's more difficult to find a fat guy who has your ideal personality/interests/style/etc? It's infinitely harder, for me. I like lists, so here are the issues in list format:

1. There's this specific "look" of a guy's face that drives me wild - thin guys (and my husband) sometimes have it, but fat guys rarely ever do.

2. Over the years, I have found many thin guys who have my EXACT taste in music.....but zero fat guys.

3. It's often a good idea to meet potential partners in the places you frequent, right? Yeah...no fat guys there. I have had several regular haunts, and the only fat guys I found tended to be "that fat guy." You know, the creepy one who lives in his mom's basement and doesn't bathe? Yeah, him.

4. The best looking fat guys had BBW girlfriends, and didn't appear to be interested in thin women (happened soooooo many times). So no chance to even find out if we were compatible.

5. I have worked with a few REALLY attractive fat guys in various labs over the years. Problem is, once their lab coats come off, they are wearing clothes that are totally unappealing to me, and when they stop talking science (our commonality), we have nothing in common (and they bore me). Or they were religious, which I don't even get, coming from scientists!

6. The few fat guys who were hot, clean, and into decent music/movies/games/etc DID NOT WANT TO BE TOUCHED. At all. You can kiss them, and they want to fuck you....but somehow, in the process, your hands must stay off anything between the neck and the cock. WTF? I can't live like that.

Ok, this is turning out to be the longest post in my Dims history, but it's been in the making for years. Do you FFAs get what I'm saying, or am I the only freak who dealt with these problems? I know I'm off the market and none of this technically matters anymore...but it still annoys me to remember the years of futile searching, disappointment and rejection.

If you read all of this - thanks! (even more thanks if you have some answers!)
Firstly I empathize with you. My wife has had trouble with anorexia. (However you spell it.) My interests in this area have really helped her with that though!

That said - she still isn't in to the idea of trying to gain weight or even pretending too (either of us.)

Your husband doesn't like your fantasies at all? He won't play at all?

Is your hubby in to the same types of things you are music, goth clubs, etc?

Would your husband have a problem with you finding other partners?

You seem to have REALLY high standards. Has to dress the way you like him too, make the right facial movements, like the exact same kinds of music, etc.

Because if you did find someone with all these specifications, it sounds like you'd leave your husband.

I'm just echoing what I'm hearing.

It sounds like what you want is a complete and total soul mate. Which everyone does.

The odds of you finding the type of guy that meets all of these standards is very small. I fear the only thing can do is decide which of your standards are most important and dump most of the rest.

It's possible that men you approach are picking up on your high standards and getting scaried. Even if you don't say them outloud, the way you act and how you carry yourself might be intimidating to the guys you're approaching.

Also note that a lot of fat men don't like the way they look. When a woman hits on me, my first two thoughts are #1 - what does she want from me? and #2 - she's playing some kind of a joke. "She actually finds me attractive" is probably the last thought that will come to mind.

So you are probably going to have to get to know them first.

If they do find you attractive, they're probably not going to tell you to your face. They might even act stand-offish or even hostile.

Most fat men are with the women they have because no one else would ask them out. Not all fat guys, but more than would like to admit.

Also remember that they're people. They're just as weird, strange, lacking confidence and have quirks and standards just like everyone else. There is no universal one size fits all answer to hitting on BHMs, just like there is no one universal way to hit on any other group. A lot of them don't like being heavy, they're just too lazy or can't lose the weight. BHMs who like it are a very rare minority. The thought of someone liking it is foreign to a lot of people. The thought of celebrating it would be considered extreme by many. Even the fat guys.

Thus - you run the risk of bringing up something they're ashamed of when you're being intimate and they're vulnerable.

Most people aren't happy with their sex lives. If I had a solution for that, I'd be a millionaire.
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Old 12-20-2009, 08:55 AM   #12
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Most people aren't happy with their sex lives. If I had a solution for that, I'd be a millionaire.
The world needs professional sexuals, it's about high time people got over those pesky old world inhibitions about paying for good service I wonder what the stock symbol would be for that company... "NOW TRADING S.E.X. on the floor at 123 and 3/4"
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Old 12-20-2009, 09:36 AM   #13
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Honestly the main reason I'm on this board is the kick I get out of being appreciated as a piece of meat instead of being appreciated for my mind.
Thats serendipity for you I come here to say all the things I can't in real life with any partner (as other BHMs on this board have mentioned, for obvious reasons). I get it out of my system here, and am probably more forward since Im not in a serious relationship right now (kind of that friends with benefits deal), so I can get away with it

I agree with Melian. It gets frustrating trying to repress it and not being able to compliment fat parts of guys. While I understand why and how difficult it is to be a person of size in our current culture right now, we FFAs fear rejection as much as you do. I think this board helps eliminate the fear of saying it face to face.

I also come to post hot fat guys, talk to cool chicks who also dig fat guys, read pervy stories and uhmmmm....look at pictures of topless hot fat guys. (But only the ones with faces. Headless belly pictures aren't doin' it).
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Old 12-20-2009, 09:48 AM   #14
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I'm only here for the pictures. And to make occasional sarcastic remarks.
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Old 12-20-2009, 10:21 AM   #15
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I've struggled with some similar things. Kind of as a parallel to some of your issues, I've always had this kink for having my fat grabbed, poked, or being teased about it by girls since before even kindergarden. In fact, nothing turns me on more. This desire goes well beyond "acceptance", and is a little difficult to describe to a new person because of the weirdness (and inherent comedy) of it. I feel like it puts me into a weird sub-group of something that is already kind of a subculture.

While I've been lucky enough to meet girls who enjoy this kind of thing, I've also had it received as if it were a bizarre masocistic impulse I needed to be talked out of, which caused some very awkward, uncomfortable situations. It made me feel it was a desire I needed to reign in, rather than explore, and kept me from even really lurking on these boards for almost a year. Not because I think it's unhealthy, but that it's unrealistic to place it so high in the qualities I seek, and the FFAs I've encounters were more exceptions than the rule. I also feared letting a fetish take the lead in regards to my personal relationships. I've become less nervous about it lately because that itch is getting happily scratched, and I enjoy alot of the non-sexual discussion that goes on here, too, so I've come back, with maybe just a little personal caution...
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Old 12-20-2009, 11:14 AM   #16
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Well for me its a place where i feel i have a chance for the women of this site to find me attractive, as ive had as much luck dating wise in the last few years as trying to fly a lead balloon.
Also i like the fact that people dont judge me because of my weight.How many times have you known for a fact that someone is looking down at you for no ther reason than weight.And i just dont feel that way here so there it is in a nutshell.
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Old 12-20-2009, 11:52 AM   #17
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I appreciate all the responses, but really feel I need to respond to these two:

Quote:
Originally Posted by stldpn View Post
I can only speak to the last of your concerns... I can't claim hotness. But I spend a reasonable amount of time taking care of myself. BHMs and BBWs may be accepted by their peers but we're not often encouraged to think of ourselves as sexy. For me, allowing someone to rub my belly is a big thing it's literally the softest most vulnerable part of me. For years I veiwed it as the thing women would be ost likely to reject. So, assumptions get made, walls get built, it takes a lot more than a passing fancy to convince a man that it's ok
Lastly, I'm going to say something that a lot of people probably won't agree with. If you ever think the internet begins to take time away from other obligations you should think about talking to someone proffessionally. Addiction to pornography is a lot more common than you think
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Firstly I empathize with you. My wife has had trouble with anorexia. (However you spell it.) My interests in this area have really helped her with that though!

That said - she still isn't in to the idea of trying to gain weight or even pretending too (either of us.)

Your husband doesn't like your fantasies at all? He won't play at all?

Is your hubby in to the same types of things you are music, goth clubs, etc?

Would your husband have a problem with you finding other partners?

You seem to have REALLY high standards. Has to dress the way you like him too, make the right facial movements, like the exact same kinds of music, etc.

Because if you did find someone with all these specifications, it sounds like you'd leave your husband.

I'm just echoing what I'm hearing.

It sounds like what you want is a complete and total soul mate. Which everyone does.

The odds of you finding the type of guy that meets all of these standards is very small. I fear the only thing can do is decide which of your standards are most important and dump most of the rest.

It's possible that men you approach are picking up on your high standards and getting scaried. Even if you don't say them outloud, the way you act and how you carry yourself might be intimidating to the guys you're approaching.

Also note that a lot of fat men don't like the way they look. When a woman hits on me, my first two thoughts are #1 - what does she want from me? and #2 - she's playing some kind of a joke. "She actually finds me attractive" is probably the last thought that will come to mind.

So you are probably going to have to get to know them first.

If they do find you attractive, they're probably not going to tell you to your face. They might even act stand-offish or even hostile.

Most fat men are with the women they have because no one else would ask them out. Not all fat guys, but more than would like to admit.

Also remember that they're people. They're just as weird, strange, lacking confidence and have quirks and standards just like everyone else. There is no universal one size fits all answer to hitting on BHMs, just like there is no one universal way to hit on any other group. A lot of them don't like being heavy, they're just too lazy or can't lose the weight. BHMs who like it are a very rare minority. The thought of someone liking it is foreign to a lot of people. The thought of celebrating it would be considered extreme by many. Even the fat guys.

Thus - you run the risk of bringing up something they're ashamed of when you're being intimate and they're vulnerable.

Most people aren't happy with their sex lives. If I had a solution for that, I'd be a millionaire.
You guys are looking a little too deep at the post. I don't have a porn addiction (yeah, I come here too much, but only when I don't have other obligations...or even a video game available to play ), and I'm not out shopping around for a new man.

Also, I don't think my standards are THAT high, as I've met a lot of guys who are almost there....my issue is just that I don't want to settle (and who does?). I don't want to be with someone who is basically just a friend, with no sexual attraction. On the same note, I don't want a man who is hot, but shares none of my interests - this has mostly been the case so far, husband excluded, and what I really wanted to know is if other FFAs find themselves in the same predicament. Are their personality/lifestyle requirements in a man commonly found in BHMs, or do they always have to choose. That's all.

So that was the main question in this thread (I know, the title isn't reflective...I'm sorry ). It wasn't really a cry for help regarding my porn addiction. Hehe.
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Old 12-20-2009, 12:37 PM   #18
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I started coming her because first and foremost it was a place where I felt that I wasn't a weirdo.

One can only take guys looking at them like they have 2 heads for finding them hawt for so long without questioning their sanity.

I wasn't alone, and for that reason I kept coming back.

Now, I haven't really had the problem with not being able to touch, but then again, I'm kinda pushy in that way. The thing that I keep lacking no matter the relationship is the ability to look. They want to have the lights out before disrobing and that ends up being frustrating. Yeah I do get my guy to humor me occasionally. But, that's just it, it's occasionally. I wish he could see himself through my eyes, with my brain, and feel the switches that are flicked when I look at him just for a day...or even a few hours.

But yeah, I visit here, because here, I can talk about things like this and not have others think I'm a total weirdo.
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Old 12-20-2009, 02:05 PM   #19
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I started coming her because first and foremost it was a place where I felt that I wasn't a weirdo.

One can only take guys looking at them like they have 2 heads for finding them hawt for so long without questioning their sanity.

I wasn't alone, and for that reason I kept coming back.

Now, I haven't really had the problem with not being able to touch, but then again, I'm kinda pushy in that way. The thing that I keep lacking no matter the relationship is the ability to look. They want to have the lights out before disrobing and that ends up being frustrating. Yeah I do get my guy to humor me occasionally. But, that's just it, it's occasionally. I wish he could see himself through my eyes, with my brain, and feel the switches that are flicked when I look at him just for a day...or even a few hours.

But yeah, I visit here, because here, I can talk about things like this and not have others think I'm a total weirdo.
Yeah, that too.
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Old 12-20-2009, 03:33 PM   #20
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Before coming here i had no idea that there were women turned on by fat and i'm sure most fat guys are the same. Now that i know about it, i am excited by the prospect.

That being said: I'm very comfortable with my body. At the same time I understand that a good portion of society isn't, so i've always gone out into the dating world with the expectation of having to overcome my handicap with other things, like personality.

Not realizing that FFAs existed the one time i did experience one was just horribly awkward for me. I always assumed that whoever i was with was attracted to me despite my fat not because of it so when i was suddenly belly-groped during sex it seemed to be more of a pointing out of my "flaw" than a sexual act. Almost like she hadn't realized how fat i was until we were mid coitus and suddenly found my gut by accident. I realize now that that wasn't what was happening but then i just felt freaked. I finished up and bailed and never talked to the girl again. I think if she had somehow managed to drop something about being a gut-lover beforehand i probably wouldn't have been so quick to bounce.

sorry, i just realized how long and mostly off topic this was!
i had a bunch more to say in response to your post but for the sake of everyone else on the forum i'll just stop here.
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Old 12-20-2009, 06:09 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Melian View Post
I appreciate all the responses, but really feel I need to respond to these two:





You guys are looking a little too deep at the post. I don't have a porn addiction (yeah, I come here too much, but only when I don't have other obligations...or even a video game available to play ), and I'm not out shopping around for a new man.

Also, I don't think my standards are THAT high, as I've met a lot of guys who are almost there....my issue is just that I don't want to settle (and who does?). I don't want to be with someone who is basically just a friend, with no sexual attraction. On the same note, I don't want a man who is hot, but shares none of my interests - this has mostly been the case so far, husband excluded, and what I really wanted to know is if other FFAs find themselves in the same predicament. Are their personality/lifestyle requirements in a man commonly found in BHMs, or do they always have to choose. That's all.

So that was the main question in this thread (I know, the title isn't reflective...I'm sorry ). It wasn't really a cry for help regarding my porn addiction. Hehe.
lol I didn't honestly look at it as a cry for help so much as some things that might need to be brought out as food for thought. Internet escapism is common and it's not all bad. If it doesn't really cut into your time in the real world, then you don't have to think about anymore.
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Old 12-20-2009, 06:44 PM   #22
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Job-related: I'm a molecular biologist and barely ever see a fat scientist, except the really old ones.
I'm at work and about to stain something, so I don't have time to respond properly yet, but I just wanted to throw in: THIS IS SO TRUE. God. It's almost like there's this weird competition between all the lab folk I know to see who can be more outdoorsy and active and omg super health food. When I started here I had an orientation class where you had to state your hobby, and everyone in the class had hiking, jogging, skiing, cycling, swimming, etc. I was like "uh, I play video games." <_< It's kind of odd, a lot of the nurses are quite large, but the lab people are all skinny.

Okay, staining now
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Old 12-20-2009, 06:54 PM   #23
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never understood why people attach this negitive sigma to video games
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Old 12-20-2009, 07:36 PM   #24
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never understood why people attach this negitive sigma to video games
Because if God had wanted us all to derive so much pleasure from playing with a sleek little box he would have made us all women.

/grabs his running shoes
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Old 12-20-2009, 07:58 PM   #25
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Honestly. I visited this board originally for the same reason as the majority. to feel attractive; it was new experience; and then I stayed for the people and common ground.

As for relationships, any girl that has expressed interest in me (a surprising number to me) has been an established friendship that I had no romantic feelings for, and aside from one (as shallow as it may be) none were physically attractive to me either. As ar as tastes, I have a couple requirements and a few that have to be overlooked. I'm a weird bird.
I like lists, too so here it comes.

1. Don't be a bitch. Don't be a whore. Don't feel the need to degrade others to get a leg up.

2. Have a brain and be able to go one on one with me in intelligent discussion without making it an arguement.

3. Be able to deal with my music tastes. I'm freaky, because my personality suggests musical tastes distinctly different from what they are. Oddly, I'm awkwardly into stuff that lingers around Top 40. Not all the way there, but close enough to push me out of my friend circle's tastes.

4. Be a cynical bitch. Not a horrible person or a real bitch, just a witty individual with a taste for mockery.

5. Match my sense of humor. I'm innapropriate yet smart about my joke's content most of the time. I use a lot of references. If they get the references, then we're good to go.

6. Mostly have my side in most major issues. Say, not religious, pro-equality in all of it's forms, pro-choice, etc. those arguements have ruined some otherwise great relationships.

7. Just in general share most of my interests or at least get them enough to not nag me about them.

Plus I always have an excuse of not being in a relationship. My recent one is because I plan to get out of my current location as soon as possible, plus I'm pretty sure I have a fear of commitment.
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