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Old 12-20-2009, 12:43 PM   #1
fatty_catty
 
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Default Thinking about coming out...

Hello. im new here. i weigh 260 on a 5'6 body frame. Ive told my mom that im bi and my extremely close friends. No one knows i like fat guys or that im bi. so i was thinking about telling people. Im also just beginning to be ok with my size. any tips will be helpfull
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Old 12-20-2009, 01:00 PM   #2
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Hey lady - welcome to the site, first of all.

I'm also bi and into fat guys, so here are a few pearls of wisdom.

There's no need to tell everyone all at once - tell your closer friends when it seems to flow into the conversation, or when it just seems relevant.

Be prepared to receive a lot of indifference. Being bi is not as "serious" as being fully gay, apparently, so you'll probably get a lot of shrugs and "that's cool" type responses. Liking fat guys might get some laughs, but generally people don't care about that one either! The only ones who seem to give negative responses (again, just from my experience) are the fat guys you're dating.

Finally, remember that there is NOTHING WRONG with you or your preferences. You are what you are, you know? If someone takes issue, it's due to their own ignorance and bias. Don't let it affect you, if possible.

Good luck
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Old 12-20-2009, 03:51 PM   #3
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ok. thanx alot
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Old 12-23-2009, 08:46 AM   #4
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ok. thanx alot
I can't add anything to what Melian said. Welcome though..and i hope to read more of your posts in the future. x
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Old 12-23-2009, 11:38 AM   #5
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Are you more nervous about coming out as bi, or about liking fat folk? Interesting that you told your mom about the former, but not the latter!
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Old 12-23-2009, 08:43 PM   #6
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well. my mom is rather accepting lol. she is fat herself and loathes it. i think im more nervous about liking fat people.
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Old 01-01-2010, 12:20 AM   #7
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And, adding to what Melian said about indifference, it seems that a lot of people not in the know think that "bisexual" means "I think I like girls", instead of "I know I like girls".
They don't really take it seriously until they see you doing it. THEN they freak out, even though you told them it was coming last week, last month, last year, whatever. Like they didn't listen. I've even heard someone say, "I didn't think you meant GAY!"
Some people are just dumb, and need to be hit on the head with a trout.
However, not all of them do that, thank the Gods.
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Old 01-01-2010, 09:16 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by fatty_catty View Post
Hello. im new here. i weigh 260 on a 5'6 body frame. Ive told my mom that im bi and my extremely close friends. No one knows i like fat guys or that im bi. so i was thinking about telling people. Im also just beginning to be ok with my size. any tips will be helpfull
One occaisional topic of discussion along this line is why you feel as if you have to, or should tell anyone about these things. There was a thread on the FA board about that kind of "coming out" and who you told, how you told them, etc.

I'd say there are a small number of times where you should say something, like if somebody wants to fix you up and you know you're only turned on by fat people, it's unfair to not tell them your preference since they'd be wasting their time and the time of the person they fix you up with if you can't get attracted.

Sometimes I feel like making a point of telling somebody winds up making a bigger deal of it than it really is. I mean sexuality is private and the only ones it really concerns are you and a potential partner. I think you should just be with whomever you're attracted to and if somebody asks, and you feel comfortable doing so, you can just say "Oh yeah...I've always just been attracted to larger men or larger women."
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