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Old 12-22-2009, 08:52 AM   #1
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Default Feederism and Health

In another thread, it was suggested that this might be a good topic to discuss. The health issue frequently seems to be the proverbial "third rail" of feederism, so I think it would be great for the community if we had a discussion about it.

One thing that has long bothered me is that within size acceptance, there are often attitudes of anger or resentment when it comes to fat and health. Fat people get angry when they are presumed to be unhealthy. Fat people get angry when they are presumed to have various diseases, or if it's assumed that a health issue is weight related when it may not be. Many posts on the Main Board link to media reports of links between obesity and health or longevity.

Yet when it comes to feederism or erotic weight gain, it feels as if suddenly health is a major issue. Feeders are presumed to not care about health. Gainers are presumed to not care about their own health, to be slowly killing themselves, or to be unaware or unconcerned of health risks involved in gaining. So it feels like on one hand we get the message "It's against size acceptance to say fat is unhealthy" yet on the other hand we get the message that feederism is dangerous. These two seem to be at odds.

Then there is the issue of how gainers feel about their own health. Many of the ones who post here have said either that they monitor their health and would stop gaining if it were affected, and some take the attitude that health risks are worth it because being fat is so important to them. The notion of "health" is also pretty broad; there is no hardcore definition of what is healthy and not healthy. A fat person can have average blood pressure or cholesterol, yet have limited mobility or be at greater risk if s/he falls down. A gainer may know all the risks and take them anyway, or it's possible some gainers are making mistakes as far as health risks. What does the community or a partner owe them as far as intervention or ceasing to encourage it?

Lastly there is the issue of "Do feeders just want to rub one out and not care about the health of their partner?" To me this is a complex question and one where I think an honest discussion is warranted.

If you are speaking from a strictly sexual context, the answer may be no, because there may be no partner involved. If you are excited by porn involving women with huge breasts, you may not 'care' about the risks of implants, you just want to get off. If you subscribe to paysites to see a gaining woman, you may just be a customer buying a service. Are you a bad person, or should you feel guilty if you don't think about the woman as person when it's strictly a commercial relationship?

With a live partner, husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend the equation obviously changes. There would be a balance between fulfilling your needs and what your partner wants, and this goes for BOTH FEEDER AND GAINER. I think it's very important to note that there are situations where the gainer wants to gain beyond where the feeder is comfortable because s/he likes it so much. Obviously the gainer should get the final say because it's his/her body, but OTOH, if you're in a relationship, do you have a responsibility to ensure the feeder's emotional well being as well?
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Old 12-22-2009, 11:28 AM   #2
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Me personally? I wish this were posted in the protected forum rather than this one. This is such a personal issue. My answers are all very tame and tepid but still, I'm not one to post something so sensitive in an open forum where people are merely a hand's breath away from accusing us all of the death of every fat person who dies. Why do you keep using this forum anyway LoveBHMS?? Gees, as if the last clusterfuck in here wasn't distasteful enough.
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Old 12-22-2009, 11:35 AM   #3
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it is shown that feederism is not good for health.
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Old 12-22-2009, 11:42 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by natasfan View Post
it is shown that feederism is not good for health.
hehe.. sorry
I may even have to rep you for making me giggle!!

ETA-Actually, no rep for you..it would keep me awake at night!!
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Old 12-22-2009, 11:47 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by mergirl View Post
hehe.. sorry
I may even have to rep you for making me giggle!!

ETA-Actually, no rep for you..it would keep me awake at night!!
Why does that make you giggle?

Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBHMS View Post
In another thread, it was suggested that this might be a good topic to discuss. The health issue frequently seems to be the proverbial "third rail" of feederism, so I think it would be great for the community if we had a discussion about it.

One thing that has long bothered me is that within size acceptance, there are often attitudes of anger or resentment when it comes to fat and health. Fat people get angry when they are presumed to be unhealthy. Fat people get angry when they are presumed to have various diseases, or if it's assumed that a health issue is weight related when it may not be. Many posts on the Main Board link to media reports of links between obesity and health or longevity.

Yet when it comes to feederism or erotic weight gain, it feels as if suddenly health is a major issue. Feeders are presumed to not care about health. Gainers are presumed to not care about their own health, to be slowly killing themselves, or to be unaware or unconcerned of health risks involved in gaining. So it feels like on one hand we get the message "It's against size acceptance to say fat is unhealthy" yet on the other hand we get the message that feederism is dangerous. These two seem to be at odds.
I too wonder the same thing. Why is it that so many people get offended when asked if they have any health problems but are the first to point out that feederism/ewg is hazardous to your health?
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Old 12-22-2009, 11:57 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by LillyBBBW View Post
Me personally? I wish this were posted in the protected forum rather than this one. This is such a personal issue. My answers are all very tame and tepid but still, I'm not one to post something so sensitive in an open forum where people are merely a hand's breath away from accusing us all of the death of every fat person who dies. Why do you keep using this forum anyway LoveBHMS?? Gees, as if the last clusterfuck in here wasn't distasteful enough.
You could always start an identical thread in the protected part of the forum... I take from Love's post that there are a few issues that non feeders/feedees might want to address too, though i agree it seems like its the kind of thing that might lead to another clusterfuck.
I see what you are saying *Loves* about the whole the promotion being here that being fat is not always unhealthy but when it comes to feederism it is seen as something harmful. I'm guessing this is because the people who are saying its unhealthy think that all feeders would like to see a person become 'as fat as is possible' and that all feedees would like to become as fat as possible. I think the difference is in the .."as possible".
I think people are wary of a fetish that seems in many cases not to have any ending, almost like it is a fetish that cant be satisfied. Ie. how fat is enough? Whereas, if you are fat and not 'gaining' you can remain the same weight for a long time. Hu..that sounds a bit obvious.
Anyway, i'm guessing that this is the difference.
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Old 12-22-2009, 12:27 PM   #7
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Can the mods please move this to the Erotic Weight Gain forum?

LillyBBBW is correct, i misplaced it.
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Old 12-22-2009, 12:47 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by LoveBHMS View Post
Can the mods please move this to the Erotic Weight Gain forum?

LillyBBBW is correct, i misplaced it.
I am folowing this site for a long time now but I feel I donīt have much to say. I didnīt even know there are private discussions here .....

The thing is that I am interested in this discussion. How do I do to follow it?

If the question is inconvenient send me an answer in private or by e-mail.

Thanks!!!!!!
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Old 12-22-2009, 01:09 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by eduardo_weisz View Post
I am folowing this site for a long time now but I feel I donīt have much to say. I didnīt even know there are private discussions here .....

The thing is that I am interested in this discussion. How do I do to follow it?

If the question is inconvenient send me an answer in private or by e-mail.

Thanks!!!!!!
The Weight Gain forum is protected only in that Mods won't tolerate unpleasant comments from those who don't find the topics exciting/erotic/positive. It is not, however, a closed, unreadable forum. So just check the boards and see if this topic turns up!
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Old 12-22-2009, 01:11 PM   #10
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Why does that make you giggle?
Well for one he said "It is shown that.."..
Where? what study? what has shown this?
Secondly, [moderator edit] the way he has phrased it and in the context it is in made me giggle, because he made quite a random statement and generally only asks when women will be reaching 500lbs.
giggle giggle giggle!!!!!
It doesn't make you giggle? Or have a manly guffaw?
Actually, natasfan might be able to answer at least one of the questions about the dissonence between 'fat' -seen as 'can be healthy' and 'gaining on purpose' -seen as unhealthy.
One one hand he exclaims that
"It is shown that feederism isn't good for health" while on the other every other post is "when will you be 500lbs"... etc
I think this is one of the reasons people can see that fat can be healthy while still frowning on feedism and consider it to be unhealthy.
What happens after 500?
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Old 12-22-2009, 01:14 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by mergirl View Post
.
What happens after 500?
for whom? the woman in question or natasfan?
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Old 12-22-2009, 01:15 PM   #12
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I see this as a personal choice. People know the risks and if they want to do this. more power to them. If a person is forced into being a feedee or gainer, then that is when I object.
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Old 12-22-2009, 01:17 PM   #13
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for whom? the woman in question or natasfan?
Well both. I guess it was rhetorical.
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Old 12-22-2009, 01:20 PM   #14
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I see this as a personal choice. People know the risks and if they want to do this. more power to them. If a person is forced into being a feedee or gainer, then that is when I object.
Perhaps this is a topic for another thread, but I'd like to hear some cases of people who have been forced into being a feedee or gainer. This is something we always hear, but it kind of has urban legend status.
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Old 12-22-2009, 01:26 PM   #15
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Perhaps this is a topic for another thread, but I'd like to hear some cases of people who have been forced into being a feedee or gainer. This is something we always hear, but it kind of has urban legend status.
Actually, that's a good idea. I'm sure it's actually happened, but I've never heard any specific cases. Should I start the thread?
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Old 12-22-2009, 01:29 PM   #16
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Perhaps this is a topic for another thread, but I'd like to hear some cases of people who have been forced into being a feedee or gainer. This is something we always hear, but it kind of has urban legend status.
See, i was actually wondering about this. Has it ever happened? The only time i have heard about it was in that rediculous docu 'fat girls and feeders'. Though, if someone was forced or manipulated into being a 'feedee' would they be allowed to post their story here?? I'm thinking probably not. I also think that if you have been manipulated in a relationship (any) then perhaps its too embarressing to talk about it in a lot of cases.
I'm not sure it is an urban legend but i think maby it is rare (but then i guess, so is feedism??) and i doubt it would be talked about, especially not here.. Though i could be wrong.
Actually, that model taylor?? (will find out later) claimed to be a victim of a feeder in the afore mentioned docu.. doesn't she still kick about here? Maby she would tell her story.
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Old 12-22-2009, 01:31 PM   #17
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See, i was actually wondering about this. Has it ever happened? The only time i have heard about it was in that rediculous docu 'fat girls and feeders'. Though, if someone was forced or manipulated into being a 'feedee' would they be allowed to post their story here?? I'm thinking probably not. I also think that if you have been manipulated in a relationship (any) then perhaps its too embarressing to talk about it in a lot of cases.
I'm not sure it is an urban legend but i think maby it is rare (but then i guess, so is feedism??) and i doubt it would be talked about, especially not here.. Though i could be wrong.
Actually, that model taylor?? (will find out later) claimed to be a victim of a feeder in the afore mentioned docu.. doesn't she still kick about here? Maby she would tell her story.
I actually started a thread about that.
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Old 12-22-2009, 01:32 PM   #18
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(other thread's already started. nothing to see here)

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Old 12-22-2009, 01:52 PM   #19
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I think the difference is that there are many reasons why people are fat, some benign and some unhealthy, but feeding with the specific intent to gain is a very focused area that is more black and white than just "being fat".

It's also that feeding is a practice, and not the actual person. Fat people are a little more comfortable pointing out the health risks of being a feedee because, statistically, it's a practice that is unhealthy by definition (referring to feeding with the purpose of massive weight gain). The attitude towards it becomes a little bit more flexible when it's narrowed down to the individual, and how that individual responds to becoming heavier.

I'd also add that a lot of times, what comes off as judgment or anger may actually be concern for the practicing individual. It's just so much easier to sound dismissive and uncaring when you're talking about an activity rather than actual people.
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Old 12-22-2009, 03:33 PM   #20
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I donīt know if I should post it here. I donīt really get this forum thing ...... I am the only one using a real name here .....
So ..... itīs just a personal opinion but I think that fat positive is about fighting prejudice. It is a almost comic attitude about self-affirmatiom that with good humour delivers a serious message. It is less about thinking that doctors are stupid than about showing that they cannot provide answers.
A fat person does not eat because she's actually hungry. She eats because she is happy, she eats because she is said and when she is not happy nor said she eats because it's tasty! Thus when a doctor speaks about diets or WLS he is assuming that the problem of obesity is about hunger and not about the personīs relationship with food the reasonable reaction seems to be mockery. Do you agree?
The same apply to that university that wants to prevent obese students from graduating. It is clearly a discriminatory posture. A posture that would prevent people like Oppenheimer and Popper to get a degree. What does those guys think they are?

On the other hand feederism is something more personal. How would someone feel if his/her partner dies from obesity related diseases? What to say? She is dead but it was worth it .... I had a lot of fun? How can someone possibly not to worry about it?

Quote:
Originally Posted by katorade View Post
I think the difference is that there are many reasons why people are fat, some benign and some unhealthy, but feeding with the specific intent to gain is a very focused area that is more black and white than just "being fat".

It's also that feeding is a practice, and not the actual person. Fat people are a little more comfortable pointing out the health risks of being a feedee because, statistically, it's a practice that is unhealthy by definition (referring to feeding with the purpose of massive weight gain). The attitude towards it becomes a little bit more flexible when it's narrowed down to the individual, and how that individual responds to becoming heavier.

I'd also add that a lot of times, what comes off as judgment or anger may actually be concern for the practicing individual. It's just so much easier to sound dismissive and uncaring when you're talking about an activity rather than actual people.
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Old 12-22-2009, 03:54 PM   #21
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So ..... itīs just a personal opinion but I think that fat positive is about fighting prejudice. It is a almost comic attitude about self-affirmatiom that with good humour delivers a serious message. It is less about thinking that doctors are stupid than about showing that they cannot provide answers.
A fat person does not eat because she's actually hungry. She eats because she is happy, she eats because she is said and when she is not happy nor said she eats because it's tasty! Thus when a doctor speaks about diets or WLS he is assuming that the problem of obesity is about hunger and not about the personīs relationship with food the reasonable reaction seems to be mockery. Do you agree?


Herein lies one of the big issues, though. Fat people eat for the same reasons thin people eat, for the most part. Everyone loves food. Everyone gets hungry. Many people, fat and thin, seek food out as a way to find comfort. Food affects us both physically and psychologically, and it takes a lot to get to the bottom of the issues that someone might have when eating is involved. Sometimes, though, there are no issues and a person is fat regardless of a healthy relationship with food. On the other hand, someone could be thin and have a hideous diet.

When it DOES become a problem/disorder, food-related issues are some of the most difficult to explain and treat, and I think that might lie at the bottom of why a lot of people are scared of the prospect of being a feedee. It's so closely related to other behaviors that are or are considered a disorder that they can be very frightening to face or be "okay" with.
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Old 12-22-2009, 07:45 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by natasfan View Post
it is shown that feederism is not good for health.
You'll need to cite a source, if you intend to making this sweeping statement believable.

Shown by who? what journal was the research based article published in?
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Old 12-23-2009, 11:28 AM   #23
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Well I've been fat for most of my life. I look at pics of myself as a kid and to my eyes I don't look fat at all. I was constantly referred to as fat though even as a baby so what do I know? *shrugs* My visceral response is one of contentment. I'm perfectly okay with being fat. There are days when I wish I was a size 6 because I want to fit in to a particular dress I saw or obtain a role I covet in an opera. There are days when I want to be a gaining 530 pound pear too. I would never have had any aversion to being fat at all had I not been ostracized and ridiculed about it all the time from childhood. The shame and so fourth was a societal/environmental creation and I went to ridiculous lengths to lose weight. I am weight loss resistant so I suffered horribly because of this. I spent time in hospitals, lost locks of my hair, missed periods, suffered heart arrhythmia - all in an extreme attempt to get that proverbial "thumbs up" from everyone to be something I was never meant to be. I was blessed with a wide ass, huge tits and a body that is happier being large and that's the way it goes.

I think generally this is the case for lots of people. You've got a fat ass, a wide nose, thick calves or whatever and that's the hand you've been dealt. Some people don't want those things and that's fine I guess. If they want to run themselves ragged trying to obtain the appearance they like that's their prerogative I guess. I prefer to keep my hair and not lose valve function in my veins however so no more dieting and extremes for me thanks.

I *know* this is the right choice for me. Given my extensive experience in this body and a critical examination of my family history I know that scientifically this is the best course of action for me: a moderate lifestyle balance of square meals and regular activity. When all is said and done I'm left at 400 pounds, sometimes more and sometimes less. So far this is what works for me. Extreme gaining would not be wise nor would any extreme losses so I'm left to just dream about it. When it stops working for me I will do something else. A few years ago a good friend of mine was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. He isn't all that big. Probably only 30 or so pounds overweight and he's much younger than I am, but this diagnosis was traumatizing for him. Because of what he was going through, this of course gave him permission to blast me out about my weight and insist I accept his ominous prophecy of what is to come. "...Sure you're healthy now but whatcha gonna do when it all comes to get you? You better do something before it's tooooo LATE... late... la..." *sigh* I had to stop speaking to him because his attempts to save me became unacceptable. There aint nobody scary enough to make me go back to what I was before, lying in that hospital. The prospect of risking a heart attack to reduce my risk of diabetes is insanity.

I'm one of the ones who gets testy when people start going on about how fat is so unhealthy. I nearly died three times in the pursuit of weight loss and wasn't sick at all till I ruined my health with extreme sports and diets. It is an emotional issue for me. People love to cite the instances of some fat person who died but will totally gloss over the fact that there are just as many if not MORE deaths associated with weight loss. These issues are personal and a decision that a person should be allowed to make within their own best interests and not according to what someone else has lived or experienced. You know someone who got fat and died? I know several who got thin and died or died trying. Just because it's downplayed as "natural causes" in the media and not sung about on every Oprah show doesn't make it any less a reality. The fact is that gaining holds risks, weight loss holds risks and doing nothing holds risks as well. We could all roll around on the ground arguing about it all day in one of these threads but at the end of the day I've resigned myself to allow people to make their own choices and live their lives as it pertains to them.
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Old 12-23-2009, 02:13 PM   #24
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That brings up a good point Lilly.

It's possible to endanger one's health in many ways including weight loss, weight gain, getting plastic surgery, getting breast implants, or using Botox.

Those would all potentially be examples of things somebody might do to be more attractive to a partner. As a feeder, I absolutely think about the health of the person who is gaining weight. To many people, I would be considered an ogre for encouraging somebody to get fatter when there are possible health risks. But is has to be true that plenty of men and women both will encourage partners to lose weight to be more attractive but there is very little talk of that being wrong.

What about a man who complained that his wife didn't look as young as she used to and she got plastic surgery? Just going under general anesthesia can be fatal. Breast implants can cause many health problems, yet are men really maligned for wanting their partners to be bustier?
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Old 12-23-2009, 03:16 PM   #25
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Generally I am thumbs down on anyone who pressures someone to do something that is risky. It happens all the time though and the happenstance isn't nearly as sinister as it's made out to be at times. A friend of mine pressured her husband before they were married to get a new pair of glasses. The guy was wearing ashtrays on his face and she thought he would look cooler if he got some better frames. Eventually he took her advice and everyone at his office went on and on about what a positive influence she was on him because his fashion sense improved. I've known guys who dumped a lover because he thought she was trying to change him. Anything like that is unstable territory.

We tend to judge people harshly who do things to please a partner though. Women will keep their hair long even though they would like to try a pixie. Things like this are much more common than people realize though I don't think most people are intentionally wanting to pressure their partner. A lot of people have an intrinsic desire to please their partner though essentially if they were TRULY against getting new glasses or eating a crumb cake s/he could refuse and it wouldn't matter at all. The love in a relationship usually goes beyond these issues but what are you going to do? If you like big boobs, you like big boobs. Suddenly your S.O. decides she wants to go get breast implants and it's all your fault, you boob looker you. You could rip your eyes out I suppose. Otherwise convincing her that it isn't necessary is a tall order and the guilt remains. And if she dies you're a cretin. Sorry, those are the rules. I think there IS some responsibility there but I'm uncertain where one should draw the line. Ultimately it's up to your partner to live the way they would like but its difficult to know if what they are doing is what they truly want or if they are just trying to please you. Ultimately it could be that what they want IS to please you and that's tough to navigate. I don't know what the answer is except that people need to have their own boundaries and stick to them.
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