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Old 12-22-2009, 09:49 PM   #1
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Default Dating a Thin Girl?

This is a question for all the male (or female) FA's who have dated thinner members of the opposite sex. Has you're preference for fatness ever put a strain on your relationship? Did he/she feel insecure because of their body type after discovering your preference? I'm currently dating a girl who i believe is extremely beautiful, but sometimes she gets upset that i find bigger girls attractive. I'm sure this question has been asked multiple times on here but any stories/ advice would be greatly appreciated!
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Old 12-22-2009, 10:13 PM   #2
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In a relationship? Nope. Never. I haven't had many relationships, but I suppose it's good that the women I've been with haven't had anything negative to say about women that are of a different size in regards to me being attracted to them.

Other than that? Many many times. Friends, acquaintances, etc that I may have had some romantic interest. Some have thought negatively on the fact that I like women that cover a wide variety of sizes. Sometimes that's my cue to nix the idea of dating them though. lol
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Old 12-22-2009, 10:53 PM   #3
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Well I've certainly experienced this. About a year ago i had been dating this rather thin girl for about six months, and slowly let her know about my preference. At first she was perfectly fine with it but personally i can't be satisfied with a thin girl. All i can say is don't try to pressure her into gaining weight if she doesn't want to or THE SHIT WILL HIT THE FAN.
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Old 12-23-2009, 03:44 AM   #4
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LOL...welcome to the boards, FAelitist!

Several years ago, I had a romantic interest with a woman who was just under 200lbs. Trouble is, no matter how you slice it, its not an area in which its healthy to wish she were any different. It's not healthy for her, and no good for you. I've found that it's something you have to be really careful with, because there is no reason to hurt feelings or waste the time of otherwise fantastic people.

I think that if you're an FA, there are so many wonderful BBW's around that odds are you're more likely to find the right girl by being patient enough to find someone who really does fit what you're looking for--in regards to size and to everything else. Just don't be in the closet or a dipshit and afraid to pull the trigger; being a coward is only going to make you (and her) miserable.

Simply put, mathematically, there is no reason to settle for a thin girl. Go big or go home. Ha!
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Old 12-23-2009, 04:02 PM   #5
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Yes and No.

While I let it be known I prefer bigger girls over smaller, it depends on who you're dating and their personality that determines if your F/A status will make or break a relationship.

For example, a girl I was dating last year was extremely jealous of the fact that I prefered big girls. She's not an F/A, only about 170 pounds and couldn't stand it everytime one of my fat friends sent me a text message or myspace message saying "Hi, good to see you" The reason we broke up had nothing to do with my F/A status, but she did seem to resent the fact that I liked big girls.

Taking the time machine back to 2006, I was involved with a smaller girl who had no problems with the fact I prefered my women big. Again, the reason we broke up had nothing to do with size, but this girl didn't seem to be bothered by the fact I was an F/A.

I'll admit that getting intimate with a larger girl has been 100 times hotter than when getting intimate with a smaller girl, but that's just my own personal experience.

However, this does not mean you shouldn't date thin girls just because they're thin....or shall I say NICE thin girls. You should date someone who are comfortable with and if you don't feel comfortable with a thin girl, no shame in admitting it.
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Old 12-23-2009, 08:26 PM   #6
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I think so, especially in my first college relationship.

I was attracted to her partly because I thought she had a cute tummy little did I know (until 10 mins into talking to her ) that she was pregnant at the time. Oops. Well, we talked since then, through the first half of the school year, then more during the time she was away having the baby, and decided to get together at the end of the school year.

Well, suffice it to say, all sorts of "you just love my tummy" comments ran rampant, and things didn't end well (for other larger reasons, but I can't imagine that part helping). But, as KHayes mentioned, I felt ridiculously comfortable around her (and I think those feelings going away were part of the reasons we split), so it was okay.

So it can easily happen.
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Old 12-24-2009, 11:26 AM   #7
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Like Kevin, yes and no.

I never have, or would ask somebody to gain who did not want to. I have always been upfront about being an FFA, but I am also bisizual, and can be fully attracted to a skinny guy if other elements are there.

I dated one guy who was a retired Navy officer who sort of hated fatties, and any time I gave him a compliment would say "If you think this looks good, does that mean I look fat in it?" even if I was just saying a particular color looked nice on him. I always made it very clear that I would not have gone out with him if I found him "lacking" in any way, but he was very hung up on my being an FFA. As sad as it sounds, I actually regretted being honest with him, since he made it more of an issue than it should have been.

as i've said time and again, human sexuality is pretty dynamic. It's entirely possible to be turned on by somebody you *never* thought was your type.
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Old 12-24-2009, 03:08 PM   #8
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I've had girlfriends of all sizes and shapes. I never mentioned to any of them that I have a preference for larger women, because at the time I wasn't aware of it: it was only in retrospect that I noted how frequently the BBW theme appeared in my love life. If I were seeing a thin woman, however, I would not tell her that I prefer fat women for the same three reasons that I would not tell a blonde that I prefer brunettes:

(1) I basically just like women, and besides,
(2) intelligence, honesty, and a good heart trump physical attributes, plus
(3) without my intending it, she might get the message, "You're inadequate." Why take a chance on making someone you like feel bad?
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Old 12-24-2009, 08:16 PM   #9
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My first actual girlfriend was my smallest, but by other people's standards she was anywhere from average to a bit heavy. At that point in highschool I was already very aware that I liked fat girls, but whatever her size, I fell in love with her personality. We'd been friends like I had with a lot of girls, but she was the first that'd ever made me feel that strongly, so the physical was just as much wrapped up in the mental for me then.

A little after I got out from winter semester of college, a girl responded to a personal I had that clearly said that I was attracted to fat girls. We chatted for a bit and got along pretty well and so we met. However, she turned out to be rather skinny and I felt a bit deceived. But she asked me if I really did like fat girls and I was honest about it, and she asked me if I still wanted to hang out with her. At the time, I was fairly lonely and she seemed to be too, so we were pretty goods friends up until she left for another school in the summer of that year. I never quite figured out why she specifically responded to me, (she was a bit flaky) but I knew that had I hidden or lied about being an FA, the friendship would've been a lot more strained, difficult and weird for both of us.

So I think as long as you're honest about your feelings to yourself to the other person without being abrasive about it, things will be much better for everyone involved. And if you don't know what you're feelings are, be honest about that too. Maybe they don't know either, but you've both a right to know.

Personally, I'd rather be single than date a skinny girl, not because they're horrible, but because of the same reason I wouldn't date a cute fat girl that I had nothing in common with; it's only half of a relationship, and that's not fair to anyone. If you like both fat and skinny, then that's what works for you, and there's nothing wrong with that. You just need to know what you want and be honest about it, everyone benefits by it.
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Old 12-28-2009, 12:02 PM   #10
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This is a question for all the male (or female) FA's who have dated thinner members of the opposite sex. Has you're preference for fatness ever put a strain on your relationship?
my preference for fatness is the reason why i've never dated a thin girl.
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Old 12-29-2009, 03:22 AM   #11
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my preference for fatness is the reason why i've never dated a thin girl.
Same here!
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Old 12-30-2009, 01:41 PM   #12
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I'm dating a thin girl; she knows I like big girls. She's kinda 'meh' about it.
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Old 12-30-2009, 02:18 PM   #13
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I'm dating a thin girl; she knows I like big girls. She's kinda 'meh' about it.
okay, please don't take this question the wrong way, because i wish to ask it with nothing more than respectful curiosity.

if you like fat girls, why are you dating a thin girl?
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Old 12-30-2009, 04:42 PM   #14
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okay, please don't take this question the wrong way, because i wish to ask it with nothing more than respectful curiosity.

if you like fat girls, why are you dating a thin girl?
See my post from earlier.....some of us choose the personality over the size.

I can't speak for him, but in general sometimes a girl is so damn sweet, kind and a family favorite no matter what she looks like.
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Old 12-30-2009, 05:26 PM   #15
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See my post from earlier.....some of us choose the personality over the size.

I can't speak for him, but in general sometimes a girl is so damn sweet, kind and a family favorite no matter what she looks like.
Iím not gonna say Iím shallow (even though I kinda am), but I canít be with a thin girl, because I just donít find them attractive. Like, at all.
I mean, sure, I could look at a pretty thin girl and admit sheís pretty from an objective standpointÖ but thereís no physical or sexual attraction. None. At all. Not even a little.
I guess, as an FA, itís just a little hard to fathom other FAs being with thin girls. Unless said FAs are bisizual, in which case, more power to you.
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Old 12-31-2009, 05:38 AM   #16
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What Khayes said. We got on so well that it didn't really matter that she was thin.

However, I'm a bad example; I've realised we're better as friends than as significant others, so I'm probably going to break it off
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Old 01-28-2010, 01:40 AM   #17
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I've recently discovered I'm an FA and I've been dating a girl for about 2 years now who is fairly thin but curvy. She brings up marriage some times and it scares the crap out of be because I have never been with a fat woman. I love this girl but I really want to explore this newly discovered aspect of myself.

Any one else discover their attraction in a long term relationship?
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Old 01-28-2010, 12:00 PM   #18
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Iím not gonna say Iím shallow (even though I kinda am), but I canít be with a thin girl, because I just donít find them attractive. Like, at all.
I mean, sure, I could look at a pretty thin girl and admit sheís pretty from an objective standpointÖ but thereís no physical or sexual attraction. None. At all. Not even a little.
I guess, as an FA, itís just a little hard to fathom other FAs being with thin girls. Unless said FAs are bisizual, in which case, more power to you.
+1

It's taken me quite a while (early 30s) to come to the rather obvious conclusion that I have to date big girls. I've tried dating smaller girls w/ nice personalities and nice families and nice whatevers, and that's all well and good, but in the end you still physically wish you were with a bigger girl.

I'm not saying sex is the be-all end-all of relationships, but in my experience sexual compatibility is foundational and non-negotiable: it's either there or it's not, and it needs to be there.
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Old 01-28-2010, 04:34 PM   #19
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I'd like to see a poll done about how many FAs here are living their lives with BBWs. I'm beginning to sense there's quite a few FAs here that prefer to be FAs in fantasy or online but actually lead their lives with much smaller women. I just couldn't imagine there not being conflict with your BBW wife or girlfriend if you want to fullfill your weight gain fantasies with her, so it seems like the kind of lifestyle that's probably easier to live online than offline. I really believe if they have thin girlfriends, they may find that it's socially easier to deal with than having a 300 pound woman in their lives that they want to see get larger and lovelier. Some call it being in the closet, which it is, but it's also the secret fantasy life they're living here. I guess we all have them in one form or another.
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Old 01-28-2010, 05:34 PM   #20
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I’m not gonna say I’m shallow (even though I kinda am), but I can’t be with a thin girl, because I just don’t find them attractive. Like, at all.
I mean, sure, I could look at a pretty thin girl and admit she’s pretty from an objective standpoint… but there’s no physical or sexual attraction. None. At all. Not even a little.
I guess, as an FA, it’s just a little hard to fathom other FAs being with thin girls. Unless said FAs are bisizual, in which case, more power to you.
Its not remotely shallow to want to be with a partner you are fully attracted to. Really, that's just respectful to your partners. While its clear some "FA's" love to pat themselves on the back for choosing "personality", what they are doing is dating someone in spite of themselves. That's not noble. Its just trying to break down a person into what you will decide is acceptable enough. That's not magnanimous. Its rude. I'd hate to have someone who dated me "anyway". If you think there isn't a fat person out there who you can click with, you're being very disrespectful towards fat people, too. It'd be wrong to think a man who only dates fat women must necessarily date women because of their body. Some do, and that's just as wrong as those who date women in spite of their body. Both are just two sides of the same coin where you're emphasizing your standards on a woman instead of looking for someone you have a total attraction to. Some FA's may like to martyr themselves to indulge their egos, but there is no cause for their celebration and much less their sense of superiority over men who want relationships where they are intimately enthralled by all aspects of their relationship. Relationships aren't a buffet where you select what you want and leave what you don't. They are a feast where you enjoy all that there is on the table.

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Old 01-28-2010, 06:19 PM   #21
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Its not remotely shallow to want to be with a partner you are fully attracted to. Really, that's just respectful to your partners. While its clear some "FA's" love to pat themselves on the back for choosing "personality", what they are doing is dating someone in spite of themselves. That's not noble. Its just trying to break down a person into what you will decide is acceptable enough. That's not magnanimous. Its rude. I'd hate to have someone who dated me "anyway". If you think there isn't a fat person out there who you can click with, you're being very disrespectful towards fat people, too. It'd be wrong to think a man who only dates fat women must necessarily date women because of their body. Some do, and that's just as wrong as those who date women in spite of their body. Both are just two sides of the same coin where you're emphasizing your standards on a woman instead of looking for someone you have a total attraction to. Some FA's may like to martyr themselves to indulge their egos, but there is no cause for their celebration and much less their sense of superiority over men who want relationships where they are intimately enthralled by all aspects of their relationship. Relationships aren't a buffet where you select what you want and leave what you don't. They are a feast where you enjoy all that there is on the table.
this is a great post.
i agree with a lot of it, but not all of it.
i mean, i'm sure there are individuals out there (and/or here on DIMs) who are genuinely bi-sizual...

but, for the most part, an FA dating a skinny girl is like a lesbian dating a guy - you aren't fooling anyone, especially not yourself.
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Old 01-28-2010, 09:36 PM   #22
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this is a great post.
i agree with a lot of it, but not all of it.
i mean, i'm sure there are individuals out there (and/or here on DIMs) who are genuinely bi-sizual...

but, for the most part, an FA dating a skinny girl is like a lesbian dating a guy - you aren't fooling anyone, especially not yourself.
What I have to say is nothing about men who genuinely are attracted to a variety of sizes or genuinely aren't interested in physical attraction. The point is we should accept what attracts us no matter what it is. We do no one any favors by trying to base a relationship with fences around whatever we're not attracted to. Fat people are already discriminated against enough. I don't see anything enlightened about being attracted to fat people and denying yourself that attraction out of a desire to prove one's moral superiority. Its no righteous deed. Its just another way of defining a relationship about what you decide is worth appreciating in your partner and setting up lines around what isn't. I'd never want to be on the other end of that.
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Old 01-28-2010, 10:24 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by Aswani View Post
I'd like to see a poll done about how many FAs here are living their lives with BBWs. I'm beginning to sense there's quite a few FAs here that prefer to be FAs in fantasy or online but actually lead their lives with much smaller women. I just couldn't imagine there not being conflict with your BBW wife or girlfriend if you want to fullfill your weight gain fantasies with her, so it seems like the kind of lifestyle that's probably easier to live online than offline. I really believe if they have thin girlfriends, they may find that it's socially easier to deal with than having a 300 pound woman in their lives that they want to see get larger and lovelier. Some call it being in the closet, which it is, but it's also the secret fantasy life they're living here. I guess we all have them in one form or another.
Not all FAs have weight gain fantasies. And if somebody was with a thin person but "wanted to see them get larger" wouldn't that defeat the purpose of being with a thin person in the first place if you did that because it was easier?

Lots of men on here go out with SSBBW and BBW, I don't even need to argue this point, go look in the "Events" part of this board and you can see tons of men socializing with fat women.
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Old 01-28-2010, 11:31 PM   #24
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My wife of 9 years is not thin by society standards, but certainly by Dimensions'! And yes, she has always been a bit insecure about my distinct size preference. She's not interested in gaining any weight and I've come to terms with it. I think she's come to terms with my preference also. It wasn't easy for me. There was a point when we were dating that I almost didn't propose marriage because of her size. But I came to realize that who she was on the inside was more important for a marriage and parenthood than on the outside. In other words, she wasn't good girlfriend material but she was and still is great wife and mother material. It wasn't an easy choice for me, but it was the right choice. I have no regrets. Disappointment? Of course. And this is why my nickname is "ImSoDead." If my wife found me here, it would be a HUGE fight and re-open all the old insecurities. But Dimensions is how I cope with the lack of heroic proportions on my wife's part. My advice is to focus on your girlfriend and do you best to hide your preferences. Either it will work out or it won't. In the meantime, enjoy!
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Old 01-28-2010, 11:40 PM   #25
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Well I don't think hiding is a good idea, but for me sexual attraction does not trump mental connection. I'm willing to compromise in some case. That's how I personally interpret what you said.

At the very most (For me), physical attraction is 40% of the battle, and I've said many times that I'd gladly turn a girl down that is "Smoking" by my standards if we don't get along/don't click, and I'd gladly take someone that I might find "Fair" (Fair in the scale sense of fair, good, great, etc...) physically but I connect well with mentally. It's such a small factor for the grand scheme in my case.
There's of course nothing wrong with not agreeing with me though.
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