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Old 01-04-2010, 07:09 AM   #26
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I think generally my preferences are obvious within the space of a first conversation; The question that goes "Oh..so what famous people do you think are hot?" sort of gives it away. I say Dawn French, Beth Ditto, Alison Moyette, Queen Latifah ...
yeah..cause i have a thing for singers and actresses!
I think if one of the first things you say to someone is "I like fat people" ..it could come across as kind of creepy, as would "I like blondes" or "I like black people" or "I like people with a beauty spot on thier head".
I think in general people want others to be attracted to them for more than an aspect of their physical selves. There is no problem there, because i don't just find people attractive because they are fat, so there will be a whole host of other things to talk about ..interests etc. I think eventually, once you know someone a bit more and have a better grounding of what other things you have in common or interests you share, stating facts such as "I love your curves", "i think your hair is so beautiful", "you have the most beautiful skin" etc etc.. can only be seen as a compliment because it will be backed up with genuine feelings for the actual person.
Though, i think once you are in bed (on the washing machine ..whatever) with someone, they will understand that you are attracted to them.
I always found 'coming out' so forced and awkward, whereas discussion and conversation is more natural. I'm not sure i would 'come out' as a 'Fat admirer' because i don't personally identify with that term, though i would make sure my partner knew i had a preference for big women. One big woman in particular.
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Old 01-04-2010, 08:35 AM   #27
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I think mergirl's approach makes sense.

I wonder about "forced" outings though.

(Warning: Very explicit) Like what if a partner had a particular body part s/he hated and it was something you loved. How would you deal with that? Like I was once in a situation where I was going to go down on a BHM and obviously had to lift/move his belly out of the way in order to unzip his pants. The fact of having to do that and of his size was obviously something I enjoyed. It didn't happen, but I thought about what would have happened if he got embarassed by that? Or if he said something like "Oh Jesus...I'm sorry about my huge beer gut getting in the way." Or even if he was upset at realizing a woman had to manuever his fat in order to unzip his pants and the thought upset him and he lost his erection.

In a case like that, I might feel deceptive saying "oh it's ok" or "it's not a big deal" because the truth was I got really turned on by it. So if I actually said "No it makes it hot for me to have to do that" I wonder if it would just make trouble or make him think I was weird or creepy or just be a turnoff for him. We've all heard how some fat people can call FAs sick or crazy or not believe they're turned on by fatties, so I'm wondering how a forced outing would go.

Also as far as just coming out and saying it, I wonder how many fat people have had experiences of "knowing" somebody was an FA or FFA pretty quickly. I'm thinking it would have to be somebody probably a bit older or with more experiene to recognize the signs, but I wonder if it's that uncommon. Like i know i'm prone to stare at guys' guts, so I wonder if it would ever happen that somebody would say "Yeah, I could tell".

Last edited by LoveBHMS; 01-04-2010 at 08:37 AM.
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Old 01-04-2010, 01:04 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Feelgood View Post
I'd say it's about as important as informing the woman I'm having sex with that I'm heterosexual.* As my momma used to say, "Actions speak louder than words."


*I never told ANY of them, but somehow they all figured it out.
I agree with this.....BUT I think that sometimes you may need to be more explicit, depending on how secure your partner is with their body. In some cases I think reassurances that not only do you find them beautiful and sexy in the abstract, but that you like specific body parts X, Y, and Z just the chubby way they are may be appropriate.
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Old 01-04-2010, 01:41 PM   #29
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If I'm comfortable in the relationship as it is in any regard to being an fa (so my meets met, or satisfied as to it's close to what I'm aesthetically after), then it's not hugely important to come out about it.
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