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Old 01-06-2010, 06:50 PM   #1
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Default What would you like your FA to do for you

there are a lot of threads about what not to do and what we don't like. lets turn this around. what would you like your FA to do for you? what pleases you? what makes your heart flutter or your hips sing?

the things i like the most i'd have to say is the obvious showing of affection and respect. that covers a multitude of things. i like being treated like a lady and i'm the only one like me. i like feeling that i'm the only woman in the room that he is interested in a special way. i love being touched held hugged caressed and kissed with lots of passion. i love it when he is attentive and thoughtful. i love someone who really shares his life with me and is interested in mine who is communicative. i love someone who shares his strength and isn't afraid to take some of mine. i love someone who i can have a friendly debate with. i love someone who is positive and self affirming for me and him. i love someone with a deeply intense gaze i love someone trustworthy.
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Old 01-06-2010, 09:24 PM   #2
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What a great post superodalisque!!!

I love it when I am dating an FA and he likes to show me off to all of his friends and family and when he is proud to have me as his girlfriend. That is just beautiful.
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Old 01-06-2010, 09:26 PM   #3
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i think thats fantastic too. obvious pride in you is really a wonderful thing!

glad you are enjoying the subject
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Old 01-07-2010, 02:28 AM   #4
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It is very sexy when a man conveys to a woman that he enjoys her conversation. Women place high value on men who listen well and convey to the woman enjoyment of her thinking.

There is a saying "the genius is in the details." I adore men who are observant who notice your sense of style and show their appreciation. You cannot enjoy another human being if you do not enjoy being yourself. The way you can tell if a man likes himself is how generous he is with others, how he can let the other people around him shine since he is secure within and does not need to be the center of focus.

Men are very sexy who enjoy femininity, see femininity as a grace, a strength to be treasured. It is so gratifying to see a man enjoy some food you cooked, or taking pleasure in being in your house saying how comfortable he is among your things. Men who can be in the present moment fully without worrying about some outcome or agenda are so wonderful to be around. Men who can accept your flaws and do not need you to be the embodiment of some ideal to placate their egos, who can see beauty in the unconventional in that which is not apparent to most people. Men are irresistible who have the courage of their convictions.
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Old 01-07-2010, 08:21 AM   #5
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I appreciate having a partner who feels I'm a prize. She is so proud of me and I know she adores me. I'm cared for. She is slow to speak and always willing to listen. I like that she doesn't pretend to know everything about me, even after years of being in my life. So, in a way, things don't really have a chance to get "old". She recognizes my individuality and values my strength. I can hold my own - emotionally, financially, etc.

I'm not a perfect woman, but I'm the perfect woman for her. And that's all good with me.
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Old 01-07-2010, 09:29 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katherine22 View Post
It is very sexy when a man conveys to a woman that he enjoys her conversation. Women place high value on men who listen well and convey to the woman enjoyment of her thinking.

There is a saying "the genius is in the details." I adore men who are observant who notice your sense of style and show their appreciation. You cannot enjoy another human being if you do not enjoy being yourself. The way you can tell if a man likes himself is how generous he is with others, how he can let the other people around him shine since he is secure within and does not need to be the center of focus.

Men are very sexy who enjoy femininity, see femininity as a grace, a strength to be treasured. It is so gratifying to see a man enjoy some food you cooked, or taking pleasure in being in your house saying how comfortable he is among your things. Men who can be in the present moment fully without worrying about some outcome or agenda are so wonderful to be around. Men who can accept your flaws and do not need you to be the embodiment of some ideal to placate their egos, who can see beauty in the unconventional in that which is not apparent to most people. Men are irresistible who have the courage of their convictions.
i can really relate to these for sure. secure and generous men are extremely sexy.
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Old 01-07-2010, 11:22 AM   #7
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What a great post superodalisque!!!

I love it when I am dating an FA and he likes to show me off to all of his friends and family and when he is proud to have me as his girlfriend. That is just beautiful.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ashmamma84 View Post
I appreciate having a partner who feels I'm a prize. She is so proud of me and I know she adores me. I'm cared for. She is slow to speak and always willing to listen. I like that she doesn't pretend to know everything about me, even after years of being in my life. So, in a way, things don't really have a chance to get "old". She recognizes my individuality and values my strength. I can hold my own - emotionally, financially, etc.

I'm not a perfect woman, but I'm the perfect woman for her. And that's all good with me.
I totally agree with these!!

I also love it when a man is not ashamed of being affectionate with me in public. One of the few gestures that a recent ex bf and one of the only FA's ive ever dated did for me that I remember was that when we were walking down the street, he asked that he be able to walk on the street side and me on the interior...that might just be a gentleman thing, but it meant something to me.

I also love it when the guy wraps his arm around my waist when we walk or holds my hand, not giving a darn about what people think.

I also love for him to rub my legs for me after a long day, and if he brushes my hair...omg...im so his. lol
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Old 01-07-2010, 07:21 PM   #8
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kiss me?
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Old 01-08-2010, 10:07 AM   #9
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The responses I have read here are what I want any man to do for me, FA or otherwise. These are non negotioable parts of a relationship with anyone, for me. I think perhaps I was spoiled in my marriage with Harold. He did not term himself a fat admirer but he loved me and that was so much more than enough. I think I may be spending a long time alone. These qualities are evidently hard to come by. At least I can say I was loved that way in my life, some people never find that. I was the lucky one.
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Old 01-08-2010, 06:39 PM   #10
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Um, I'd like an FA, period. An FA to do things for me would just be the icing on the cake. LOL
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Old 01-09-2010, 04:57 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by superodalisque View Post

the things i like the most i'd have to say is the obvious showing of affection and respect. that covers a multitude of things. i like being treated like a lady and i'm the only one like me. i like feeling that i'm the only woman in the room that he is interested in a special way. i love being touched held hugged caressed and kissed with lots of passion. i love it when he is attentive and thoughtful. i love someone who really shares his life with me and is interested in mine who is communicative. i love someone who shares his strength and isn't afraid to take some of mine. i love someone who i can have a friendly debate with. i love someone who is positive and self affirming for me and him. i love someone with a deeply intense gaze i love someone trustworthy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DreamyInToronto View Post

I love it when I am dating an FA and he likes to show me off to all of his friends and family and when he is proud to have me as his girlfriend. That is just beautiful.
Yeah I really look forward to having these things one day. I know that there are people in my life, that the moment I see them, I just light up and feel genuine delight in them. Just in who they are and that they are in my life. I would really like to have someone feel that way about me. I think it would be amazing to have someone who experiences joy in my moments of success or accomplishment. I remember hearing someone say that what made their marriage successful wasn't all that complicated; they just both genuinely delighted in seeing the other person happy. Pretty simple. I'd like that.
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Old 01-09-2010, 05:12 PM   #12
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This would be for any man and not just an FA.....
To look at me with wonderment, like I am the most exquisite creature he has ever seen. I think that would be heavenly.
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Old 01-25-2010, 12:55 AM   #13
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1. Surprise me with my favorite Ice Cream (Ben & Jerry's Mint Cookies & Cream)
2. Go out of his way to see me when our schedules are chaotic
3. Play awesome music
4. Lots of belly rubs
5. Compliment my amazing choices of outfits
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Old 01-25-2010, 10:57 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lina View Post
1. Surprise me with my favorite Ice Cream (Rocky Road!!!)
2. Go out of his way to see me when our schedules are chaotic
3. Play awesome music
4. Lots of belly rubs
5. Compliment my amazing choices of outfits
Pretty much this but add
6. Actually coming to see competitions/performances. It means a lot to me, shouldn't that trump being "bored" for an hour?
I also fixed the ice cream choice for you
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Old 01-25-2010, 05:43 PM   #15
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you know, first of all Felecia, awesome post idea, and it made me realize just how much we say is so negative sometimes and in reality, most of us would love to have our own FA but there is a learning curve...

ok, second thing, most of the things posted here i have to agree are what we should expect out of ANY good partner...i loved Katherines post, but sorry folks, the rep gods are against me now...

so, here are a few of the things i would like an FA or any partner to do for/with me...

i love feeling like it is just a relationship, not one based on just my size...show me you find me attractive, grab my hand in public, escort me, grab my ass when no one is looking, or when someone is...sometimes both are appropriate...

scope out a place before hand, know if it has good seating and dont make a big deal out of it...i dont want to sit by myself in a corner with you, if there are booth chairs we can both fit on...

help me up from those bloody low ass couches that suck you in...and not make a big deal of it, do it like you would offer any woman...

not make a big deal out of me eating or not eating...my appetite ebbs and flows, just cause i might not eat as much does not mean i am dieting, it might mean i am horny for you...just saying...

know and accomodate that being with a big woman means differences in position in bed, it means being creative and laughing if it doesnt work, laughing with...not at....

compliment if we took the time to make the night special..nice candles, nice outfit, nice music...we did it on purpose...

walk with me...not ahead of me, i am sometimes slow...or often slow...it comes with the territory...

take me clothes shopping and compliment my choices if you like them....

buy me something sexy...(that in my size takes effort and would be appreciated!!)

that is my list so far...Felecia, again...i LOVE this thread...

hugs to you all....
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Old 01-25-2010, 06:39 PM   #16
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If I lose weight...if you ' mourn ' it, and it affects the way you look at me....don't pretend everything is golly gee OK, just so you can feel good about yourself and whatever label you wear....tell me...so I can decide if I want to stick around, or not.

Know that you are just a man...and I am just a woman. We are just people. Don't look at me like some prize because of my weight...but because I bring to your life things you never thought you were missing, because you had yet to meet me. Remember, there are reasons I chose you, and your liking my fat body is good...needed...but you have to be able to engage me on every level...like a regular woman.

Be aware.

Be as upset over the abuse of fat men, as you are of fat women.

Be much....much....more of an MA ( Monique Admirer ) than an FA.

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Eh......just anything and everything I would want from a...........................man.
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Old 01-25-2010, 07:14 PM   #17
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[QUOTE=mossystate;1373244]

Be as upset over the abuse of fat men, as you are of fat women.

QUOTE]

QFT.
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Old 01-26-2010, 10:58 AM   #18
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Old 01-27-2010, 09:57 AM   #19
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ernest, honey, praytell dont say you are speechless?? punless?? OMG
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Old 01-27-2010, 04:27 PM   #20
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ernest, honey, praytell dont say you are speechless?? punless?? OMG
I know when (& where) to hold my tongue, Di. Sadly that hasn't even be mentioned so I'll just politely listen and hopefully learn something. I seem to have missed several large parts <npi> of this memo?
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Old 01-28-2010, 08:20 AM   #21
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OK, I will NOT be responsible for killing this fabulous thread! In re-reading all your lovely posts I was reminded of this classic:

“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'”

It occurred to me it was likely written by a woman (no attribution that I could find) and while it's not especially FA specific it speaks to an almost universal, genderless desire to hold 100% of someone else' attention, at least for a moment? That kind of focus is very unnatural for me. On the rare occasions I've felt it, it was so awkward and unfamiliar I'm sure it came off as 100&crazy%. Not suggesting you shouldn't want that; just saying some things take (a lot of) practice. Shutting up now.
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Old 01-28-2010, 08:48 AM   #22
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OK, I will NOT be responsible for killing this fabulous thread! In re-reading all your lovely posts I was reminded of this classic:

“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'”

It occurred to me it was likely written by a woman (no attribution that I could find) and while it's not especially FA specific it speaks to an almost universal, genderless desire to hold 100% of someone else' attention, at least for a moment? That kind of focus is very unnatural for me. On the rare occasions I've felt it, it was so awkward and unfamiliar I'm sure it came off as 100&crazy%. Not suggesting you shouldn't want that; just saying some things take (a lot of) practice. Shutting up now.
You're not responsible for killing anything. I was curious about your statement, "That kind of focus is very unnatural for me." I find this interesting. I'm not sure if it is a male/female difference or perhaps just the difference in me. I find this very easy to do, focus on the man in my life to the exclusion of everything else. Perhaps it is a nurturing ability, I would like to know if you feel this is a particular male trait. It might clarify some of the male mystery for me.
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Old 01-28-2010, 10:11 AM   #23
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You're not responsible for killing anything. I was curious about your statement, "That kind of focus is very unnatural for me." I find this interesting. I'm not sure if it is a male/female difference or perhaps just the difference in me. I find this very easy to do, focus on the man in my life to the exclusion of everything else. Perhaps it is a nurturing ability, I would like to know if you feel this is a particular male trait. It might clarify some of the male mystery for me.
Sorry, Steely, but I doubt I can be much help re the neurotypical male mind. I have a condition known as Borderline Asperger's Syndrome. It's at the higher functioning end of of the Autism Spectrum. My brain is partitioned differently. I tend to fixate on equations and puzzles. If it doesn't need solved, balanced or fixed I have a hard time relating. Not many women can get past that nor should they have to. JMO but I think most normal men can focus 100% on their love interest easily enough; they just don't know how to express that acceptably. It takes a lot of patience and time to train most men. If not "housebroken" early it may seem more effort than it's worth?
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Old 01-28-2010, 10:26 AM   #24
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Sorry, Steely, but I doubt I can be much help re the neurotypical male mind. I have a condition known as Borderline Asperger's Syndrome. It's at the higher functioning end of of the Autism Spectrum. My brain is partitioned differently. I tend to fixate on equations and puzzles. If it doesn't need solved, balanced or fixed I have a hard time relating. Not many women can get past that nor should they have to. JMO but I think most normal men can focus 100% on their love interest easily enough; they just don't know how to express that acceptably. It takes a lot of patience and time to train most men. If not "housebroken" early it may seem more effort than it's worth?
I know what Asperger's is, my grandson was diagnosed a year ago. Thank you for taking the time to clarify your condition. I don't think you are very far off the mark, though. I find that men to have a tendency not to focus on women as much as women focus on them. As I say, that may be my experience. I don't want to have to train someone, it seems counter productive to me. I don't want to be trained, myself. And yes, I do believe it would be more trouble than it would be worth. Life is short, I'm afraid we may have a long road in common. I appreciate your opinions and comments, I enjoy reading your posts.
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Old 01-30-2010, 09:02 PM   #25
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