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Old 02-01-2010, 08:09 AM   #26
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I want my man to work with me to keep the relationship going. Passion waxes and wanes and so our friendship needs to be there in order to weather the trials we will encounter, the times we aren't "hot" for each other, and the day to day life we build together. I have found that as we have been through 24 years together that is what I value about our relationship the most-our friendship.
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Old 02-01-2010, 10:08 AM   #27
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presents. lots and lots of presents.
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Old 02-03-2010, 11:07 AM   #28
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How about be awesome. That's all. Simple.
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Old 02-03-2010, 06:41 PM   #29
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When his hand is on my belly and I instinctively suck in, for him to say "Don't. Stop that." and mean it.
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Old 02-03-2010, 11:31 PM   #30
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I would love to meet an FA who would be open to an actual emotional/spiritual/intellectual relationship, and wasn't just looking for fleeting physical encounters.

When I find that, I'm sure my answer will become more specific.
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Old 02-04-2010, 10:50 AM   #31
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Love me, and invest as much in me, as I do in him.
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Old 02-04-2010, 09:55 PM   #32
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ernest Nagel View Post
OK, I will NOT be responsible for killing this fabulous thread! In re-reading all your lovely posts I was reminded of this classic:

“Find a guy ... who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead ... who holds your hand .... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'”

It occurred to me it was likely written by a woman (no attribution that I could find) and while it's not especially FA specific it speaks to an almost universal, genderless desire to hold 100% of someone else' attention, at least for a moment? That kind of focus is very unnatural for me. On the rare occasions I've felt it, it was so awkward and unfamiliar I'm sure it came off as 100&crazy%. Not suggesting you shouldn't want that; just saying some things take (a lot of) practice. Shutting up now.
This feeling, this focus should be rare and, quite honestly, most of us come off looking a bit crazy when we are first experincing it with someone. Great relationships are comprised of both the breathless wonder we feel for each other and the joy of knowing that our partner is by our side even when the tarnish may be wearing thin. And isn't that what most of us are really looking for? Feeling free and safe enough to be entirely who we are, bad moods and all, with someone else and knowing that we're accepted and loved? Cherished?

And please don't shut up. I like your posts.
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Old 02-05-2010, 08:56 AM   #33
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I love to be made to laugh! And the look on his face when I jiggle...TOO ADORABLE! Its a real mind/body/spirit thing for this fat gal!
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Old 02-05-2010, 09:38 AM   #34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mcbeth View Post
I would love to meet an FA who would be open to an actual emotional/spiritual/intellectual relationship, and wasn't just looking for fleeting physical encounters.

When I find that, I'm sure my answer will become more specific.
ME TOO!!! I want one of those.

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Love me, and invest as much in me, as I do in him.
Yeah that would be wonderful.
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Old 02-05-2010, 03:56 PM   #35
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nettie View Post
This feeling, this focus should be rare and, quite honestly, most of us come off looking a bit crazy when we are first experincing it with someone. Great relationships are comprised of both the breathless wonder we feel for each other and the joy of knowing that our partner is by our side even when the tarnish may be wearing thin. And isn't that what most of us are really looking for? Feeling free and safe enough to be entirely who we are, bad moods and all, with someone else and knowing that we're accepted and loved? Cherished?

And please don't shut up. I like your posts.
I agree nettie...all of it!
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Old 02-05-2010, 11:36 PM   #36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mcbeth View Post
I would love to meet an FA who would be open to an actual emotional/spiritual/intellectual relationship, and wasn't just looking for fleeting physical encounters.

When I find that, I'm sure my answer will become more specific.
Yes, you took the words out of my mouth.
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Old 02-06-2010, 06:45 AM   #37
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My FA husband does everything that I need, everything that I could ever ask for and more.

He truly is a gift and I could go on and on, but suffice to say I adore my Boris. He is my treasure...
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Old 02-08-2010, 12:51 PM   #38
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not to feel he has to explain me or his attraction to me.
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Old 02-08-2010, 01:59 PM   #39
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Originally Posted by superodalisque View Post
not to feel he has to explain me or his attraction to me.
I have so been feeling you on this - you have been posting a lot of posts in this theme for a while now and I really appreciate it. To me it seems like the guys that are most vocal about how they are so "weird" and "different" by society's standards because of their attraction to fat women are missing the fact that lots of men who like fat women do not experience it that way at all. It's simply natural and a normal part of who they are, and not a big crazy deal.

It seems like part of it has to do with guys who are just "weird" or "different" socially already, and this just becomes what they can attribute it to (even tho it's really based on other things). But the large number of men I have met, dated, read, etc. who do not feel so "on the outskirts of society because of their freaky preference" show that it doesn't necessarily have to be that way. There are other factors at work.

Anyway, that's just an overly long way of saying that I agree, and also want my FA not to constantly act like he's a social deviant for enjoying my body.
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Old 02-08-2010, 09:18 PM   #40
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Originally Posted by mcbeth View Post
I have so been feeling you on this - you have been posting a lot of posts in this theme for a while now and I really appreciate it. To me it seems like the guys that are most vocal about how they are so "weird" and "different" by society's standards because of their attraction to fat women are missing the fact that lots of men who like fat women do not experience it that way at all. It's simply natural and a normal part of who they are, and not a big crazy deal.

It seems like part of it has to do with guys who are just "weird" or "different" socially already, and this just becomes what they can attribute it to (even tho it's really based on other things). But the large number of men I have met, dated, read, etc. who do not feel so "on the outskirts of society because of their freaky preference" show that it doesn't necessarily have to be that way. There are other factors at work.

Anyway, that's just an overly long way of saying that I agree, and also want my FA not to constantly act like he's a social deviant for enjoying my body.
i feel ya. its just been bothering me that we always seem to be getting blamed for thier weird. we aren't weird. maybe they are though--and thats thier issue.
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Old 02-08-2010, 10:18 PM   #41
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Lightbulb that is quite easy...

my only request is that my FA exist.... simple right?
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Old 02-09-2010, 02:53 AM   #42
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i second that, lipmixgirl
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Old 02-16-2010, 08:10 AM   #43
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I had a conversation this morning that troubled me. It was essentially about respect and FA's. I'm not sure that FA's and men who like, or love fat are the same. I would like my FA, were I to have one, to have respect for me, not the fat. I would love for my FA to enjoy the fat because Hey, who doesn't love it when their partner really enjoys and loves their physical attributes. I enjoy my own fat, I think everyone should. Never having had a relationship with an FA, I'm not sure that this wouldn't be the case. Love and respect for me as a person, it doesn't seem like such a difficult concept.

I live my life with the sincere belief that everyone is equal. It is a given in my life. Of course, anyone can prove me wrong and destroy my respect for them. As a fat woman, this may be a bit blind but I prefer to live my life having faith in others. I'm just musing out loud. A lack of respect is devastating to me in any area of my life, if it were to be my own partner, I just can't imagine that. I think I know myself well enough to know that I couldn't be with a person who just loved my fat.

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Old 02-16-2010, 04:55 PM   #44
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I know this sounds wierd, but one who knows how to give amazing massages! I had a friend...(alright, almost more than friends, but lets keep it at that) who would give the best rubs...like, grab the skin and stuff. I don't know how to explain, but my friend how knead the skin on my legs and stuff and it was heavenly. I love my boyfriend so much, but he really doesnt know how to do it, haha. I'll just have to teach him.
But anyway, if it was for the boyfriend, I'd like one who loved me for me. Not because I'm plus sized all the time. I mean, sex is sex, but you aren't having it all the time. So, I want one who understands me, and can talk and understand and listen.
I'm sorry if that was a bit off topic...
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Old 02-17-2010, 09:44 AM   #45
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Originally Posted by mcbeth View Post
Anyway, that's just an overly long way of saying that I agree, and also want my FA not to constantly act like he's a social deviant for enjoying my body.
haha. I like. Right? It seems to reinforce that there's something wrong/freakish about you. Or why the 'ZOMG!!!-ness' of it all? I also think sometimes this is intentional. It heightens your fatness, and it heightens the 'tabooness,' which many people find sexually exciting (tabooness of any kind). I keep thinking about an article I was reading about the way that a number of gay men still go to bathrooms for anonymous sex even though the world has changed since the 50s, and new avenues for social and sexual interaction have opened up. The guys in the article say it takes the tabooness away, and that's what they want--the taboo.

I have definitely thought that once a man who likes fat chicks knows the term 'FA' and of the existence of the feeder/gainer culture (whether he partakes or not, is interested or not), and is at Dims, he's probably not for me. He's already fairly far down a path in which I'm perhaps not so interested. I know that belief may burn some bridges but it's true for me.

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Old 02-17-2010, 11:52 AM   #46
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haha. I like. Right? It seems to reinforce that there's something wrong/freakish about you. Or why the 'ZOMG!!!-ness' of it all? I also think sometimes this is intentional. It heightens your fatness, and it heightens the 'tabooness,' which many people find sexually exciting (tabooness of any kind). I keep thinking about an article I was reading about the way that a number of gay men still go to bathrooms for anonymous sex even though the world has changed since the 50s, and new avenues for social and sexual interaction have opened up. The guys in the article say it takes the tabooness away, and that's what they want--the taboo.

I have definitely thought that once a man who likes fat chicks knows the term 'FA' and of the existence of the feeder/gainer culture (whether he partakes or not, is interested or not), and is at Dims, he's probably not for me. He's already fairly far down a path in which I'm perhaps not so interested. I know that belief may burn some bridges but it's true for me.
I never felt like a freak for diggin' the big girls before Dims and I still don't. "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."
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Old 02-17-2010, 12:18 PM   #47
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Jes you and Ernest make great points. i prefer the guys myself who just treat me as a sexy woman. thats the dividing line between someone feeling i'm sexy and having a fetishlike fixation. i don't actually have a problem with fetish unless it requires the other person to diminish themselves somehow. i'm not interested in that because it tends to challenge my personhood. what i do love is someone who accents my personhood and truly loves my body just the way it is and really doesn't feel he is a freak or that i'm a freak. . i'm glad there are a lot of guys out there who don't make us choose between being a taboo or a woman.
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Old 02-17-2010, 12:25 PM   #48
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I'm not into the bad boy thing, i want someone that is so nice to me that it makes other ppl sick and leaves me speechless also i'm a bit distant so someone who gets that as well, who wants the reality of being with someone fat not just the fantasy..................wish me luck

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Old 02-17-2010, 10:50 PM   #49
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  1. See me as a source of inspiration and joy in his life
  2. Surprise me, once in awhile, with unexpected gifts, notes or cards to show his appreciation and love
  3. Speak about me, as a partner, openly and proudly to others
  4. Tell me how much I mean to him once in awhile, as people take this for granted over time
  5. Express to me that I am his physical ideal (let's get real, every woman wants this in addition to the other stuff)
  6. Show passion, loyalty and commitment in both words AND especially actions
  7. Let me see his vulnerable and private side that very few get to see
  8. Share with me his innermost dreams, desires and hopes
  9. Make me feel like he values my presence and connection as part of his life
  10. Not allow others to speak badly of me in his presence (stand up and value me)
  11. Give me just as much support as I give him.
  12. Show me respect, affection, and empathy


There's more...but these come to mind right away...
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Old 02-18-2010, 10:31 AM   #50
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my only request is that my FA exist.... simple right?
Amen! Amen! Amen!
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