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Old 02-09-2010, 06:22 PM   #51
MizzSnakeBite
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Originally Posted by Tina View Post
It's not just here, Dev, it's everywhere. I mean, there are people out there who get off to the sound of someone rubbing a balloon. I kid you not. Everything is sexualized and there is more porn addiction than ever, but almost no one wants to talk about that. Dimensions pretty much is what it's always been -- a mix, but created for FAs. I used to read Dimensions mag -- was in the mag -- and knew what it was, but it was also empowering for me at the time. Now I my needs are different, but I still think there are great people here and great conversations to be had.

As for this forum, it was never meant to be a woman's board only. Men are allowed input here just non-FFA women are allowed input on the FA/FFA board -- within the guidelines of each board.

Not sure if there will ever be a private woman's type board...
Yeah, I know. It just majorly erks me that the men are put first and get away with a lot...... If we (the women) weren't here, there would be no Dims.......IMO....

Yep, I've made lots of friends (including you my dear!), but some of what goes on here leaves a very bitter taste in my mouth. I'll stay around, but I be at the other place probably more often..

I'm certain there will never be a private woman's board here.....it's a shame since we often can't talk about certain issues without it being sexualized by men (take a peek at the clothing forum where we were talking about shaving and a guy came in wanting pics <sigh>)

Devi
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Old 02-09-2010, 06:34 PM   #52
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Not sure if there will ever be a private woman's type board...
I think that most of us have given up on this becoming a reality.
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Old 02-09-2010, 09:32 PM   #53
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Originally Posted by MizzSnakeBite View Post
Yeah, I know. It just majorly erks me that the men are put first and get away with a lot...... If we (the women) weren't here, there would be no Dims.......IMO....

Yep, I've made lots of friends (including you my dear!), but some of what goes on here leaves a very bitter taste in my mouth. I'll stay around, but I be at the other place probably more often..

I'm certain there will never be a private woman's board here.....it's a shame since we often can't talk about certain issues without it being sexualized by men (take a peek at the clothing forum where we were talking about shaving and a guy came in wanting pics <sigh>)

Devi
Two things about the hair post on the fashion board.

First, did anyone report it? Often those posts are deleted. Second, and this is more complicated, I think, you've got enough women here who will comply by posting just about any kind of pics, so you have a bunch of guys who are used to being at the equivalent of the Fat Tuesday Mardi Gras Parade while holding a hand-full of beads... or something... and asking women to show their tits. What we see here isn't exclusive of Dimensions, but is really just part of what passes for normal, everyday life almost no matter where one is. How many guys look at porn on their work computers? Or have it in the men's room at work? There's a real pornopoly and it ain't just at Dims.

My experience of Dimensions is that most of the guys are good guys. Yes, the genesis of this board, and the magazine before it, was geared towards FAs. There was nothing for them at that time; no place for them to meet and talk and not feel like freaks. Of course then came the magazine, which I see nothing wrong with. Yes, suggestive photos, but also great articles and very affirming for the men who were given no indication by society that they and their preferences were at all normal, and for the women, too, who had been told that they were undesirable and asexual.

The message boards expanded on that, and above and beyond it's original mission there have been activist alerts and many posts about coming to terms with and loving one's size made by women. Look here. The majority of those threads were on the main board and some on the weight board before the BBW board was created. Many, many inspiring posts by women about their own evolution, and many positive and supportive posts from men, too.

Given that I've been here since 1998 and have gotten to know a number of the guys, and some in person (and one asleep in our bed right now...), I have to say that it feels unfair to paint all of the men here as nothing but wankers. Over there years there have been many positive, supportive posts by FAs that have had nothing to do with any kind of wankish behavior or come-ons, but that have just been affirming. When you have a site that was built by an FA for FAs you're going to have the focus that it has. Didn't we all know at least some of that before posting here? I did and still do, and because some parts bother me I don't go there, because my interest lies in other things here and I'm able to separate it out, though some are not able to and I respect that.

Dimensions isn't just any one thing. It's a group of people all looking for something -- some things are the same some are not.

I think it's good that there are other places; there should be. And if they are meeting needs and are a place where people feel good about where they're posting, then long may they live. Dimensions never claimed to cater to everyone, and Conrad has never said that Dimensions is a size acceptance board, nor an activist's board (though a good amount of activism has been planned, and carried out, here on these boards). He's always said that it is just what it is. I can deal with that and get other needs met elsewhere. I personally don't expect Dimensions to fulfill all of my needs, and I've certainly learned over the years to keep the really private stuff private.

My goal is not to invalidate the feelings or opinions of anyone, and while I realize that there are people who think that it's impossible for me to just post as myself because I'm a moderator, well, I was a community member for way longer than I've moderated, and my POV as written here is written by me, the community member, not me the moderator.

I, too, doubt there will be a private BBW board. I see value in it myself; but I see value in it whether it's here or elsewhere. I think I'll always see value in Dimensions, even as I avoid certain areas... But I also know its limitations in my own life and where and how to have the conversations I need to have that have nothing to do with Dimensions. I'm okay with that, and would never expect only one person to fulfill all my needs, so I therefore don't expect it of only one board, either. Main thing is that there are so many wonderful people here. That's a big part of what has kept me coming back, and inspired me to moderate here.
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Last edited by Tina; 02-09-2010 at 09:35 PM.
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Old 02-10-2010, 03:51 AM   #54
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Originally Posted by Tina View Post
Two things about the hair post on the fashion board.

First, did anyone report it? Often those posts are deleted. Second, and this is more complicated, I think, you've got enough women here who will comply by posting just about any kind of pics, so you have a bunch of guys who are used to being at the equivalent of the Fat Tuesday Mardi Gras Parade while holding a hand-full of beads... or something... and asking women to show their tits. What we see here isn't exclusive of Dimensions, but is really just part of what passes for normal, everyday life almost no matter where one is. How many guys look at porn on their work computers? Or have it in the men's room at work? There's a real pornopoly and it ain't just at Dims.

My experience of Dimensions is that most of the guys are good guys. Yes, the genesis of this board, and the magazine before it, was geared towards FAs. There was nothing for them at that time; no place for them to meet and talk and not feel like freaks. Of course then came the magazine, which I see nothing wrong with. Yes, suggestive photos, but also great articles and very affirming for the men who were given no indication by society that they and their preferences were at all normal, and for the women, too, who had been told that they were undesirable and asexual.

The message boards expanded on that, and above and beyond it's original mission there have been activist alerts and many posts about coming to terms with and loving one's size made by women. Look here. The majority of those threads were on the main board and some on the weight board before the BBW board was created. Many, many inspiring posts by women about their own evolution, and many positive and supportive posts from men, too.

Given that I've been here since 1998 and have gotten to know a number of the guys, and some in person (and one asleep in our bed right now...), I have to say that it feels unfair to paint all of the men here as nothing but wankers. Over there years there have been many positive, supportive posts by FAs that have had nothing to do with any kind of wankish behavior or come-ons, but that have just been affirming. When you have a site that was built by an FA for FAs you're going to have the focus that it has. Didn't we all know at least some of that before posting here? I did and still do, and because some parts bother me I don't go there, because my interest lies in other things here and I'm able to separate it out, though some are not able to and I respect that.

Dimensions isn't just any one thing. It's a group of people all looking for something -- some things are the same some are not.

I think it's good that there are other places; there should be. And if they are meeting needs and are a place where people feel good about where they're posting, then long may they live. Dimensions never claimed to cater to everyone, and Conrad has never said that Dimensions is a size acceptance board, nor an activist's board (though a good amount of activism has been planned, and carried out, here on these boards). He's always said that it is just what it is. I can deal with that and get other needs met elsewhere. I personally don't expect Dimensions to fulfill all of my needs, and I've certainly learned over the years to keep the really private stuff private.

My goal is not to invalidate the feelings or opinions of anyone, and while I realize that there are people who think that it's impossible for me to just post as myself because I'm a moderator, well, I was a community member for way longer than I've moderated, and my POV as written here is written by me, the community member, not me the moderator.

I, too, doubt there will be a private BBW board. I see value in it myself; but I see value in it whether it's here or elsewhere. I think I'll always see value in Dimensions, even as I avoid certain areas... But I also know its limitations in my own life and where and how to have the conversations I need to have that have nothing to do with Dimensions. I'm okay with that, and would never expect only one person to fulfill all my needs, so I therefore don't expect it of only one board, either. Main thing is that there are so many wonderful people here. That's a big part of what has kept me coming back, and inspired me to moderate here.
I haven't a clue if it was reported or not.

There are certainly some very good guys here........but then there are some that are soooooooooo over the top it's incredible.....

Yeah, I stay away from certain areas because I cannot stand what is posted.
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Old 02-10-2010, 06:02 AM   #55
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I understand what Dims is and what it was set up to be. I think MizzSnakeBite brings up a good point though, without fat women, the FA's would not come. It is a symbiotic relationship. Not to say that the men I have met here aren't really great guys, I have met wonderful people, men and women here. Like most others, it is the reason I stay. I love the people I have met here.

It just seems to be a matter of respect to me, I guess I am just a progressive woman who thinks what is fair for some should be fair for all. I do what everyone else does, I do not go to boards that that make me feel less than the strong, beautiful, fat woman I am. Out of sight, out of mind, but I think we all know that is just a cop out. Because you choose to ignore something, it doesn't make it go away. It just gives people the idea that it is ok to treat others with a lack of respect. It's hard to reconcile that duality within myself.
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Old 02-10-2010, 08:18 AM   #56
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I understand what Dims is and what it was set up to be. I think MizzSnakeBite brings up a good point though, without fat women, the FA's would not come. It is a symbiotic relationship. Not to say that the men I have met here aren't really great guys, I have met wonderful people, men and women here. Like most others, it is the reason I stay. I love the people I have met here.

It just seems to be a matter of respect to me, I guess I am just a progressive woman who thinks what is fair for some should be fair for all. I do what everyone else does, I do not go to boards that that make me feel less than the strong, beautiful, fat woman I am. Out of sight, out of mind, but I think we all know that is just a cop out. Because you choose to ignore something, it doesn't make it go away. It just gives people the idea that it is ok to treat others with a lack of respect. It's hard to reconcile that duality within myself.
Well, Fa's would come anyway because Fa's do come in all shapes, sizes, and gender. I indentify first as FA, then as a bbw because my fat is always in flux but what turns me on is always going to be the same. I dont fully understand your second paragraph, because there aren't any boards that offend me..so I'm not going to comment on that. There are boards that bore me though, so I usually don't go there, but if it makes others here happy...so be it.
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Old 02-10-2010, 08:29 AM   #57
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Well, Fa's would come anyway because Fa's do come in all shapes, sizes, and gender. I indentify first as FA, then as a bbw because my fat is always in flux but what turns me on is always going to be the same. I dont fully understand your second paragraph, because there aren't any boards that offend me..so I'm not going to comment on that. There are boards that bore me though, so I usually don't go there, but if it makes others here happy...so be it.
FFA's are not really a consideration on Dims. The site was not created so BHM's could get some love. I am an FFA and I consider us to be lumped into the same category as BBW. If we, as BBW and FFA, can get something out of Dims, great. If not, suck it up and either leave or don't visit the boards that offend you.

Conrad himself has set it up this way, "So that's what Dimensions is and always has been, a size positive place for FA's and the people they admire. Nothing more and nothing less." I think that says it all.
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Old 02-10-2010, 09:01 AM   #58
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I am not a totally straight person so I guess I can't relate to male vs. female issues that some of you raise. I mean you going to get your crazies, rude, crass, easily offended, etc...any where you go and in both genders..because all of us have cycled through those states anyway unless your a heavily sedated zombie. In any social group, you going to get overzealous folks who lack social skills. In this group I have seen both the admirer and the admired act socially retarded..IMO...but thats why we have moderators to smooth things out.
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Old 02-10-2010, 01:59 PM   #59
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I understand what Dims is and what it was set up to be. I think MizzSnakeBite brings up a good point though, without fat women, the FA's would not come. It is a symbiotic relationship. Not to say that the men I have met here aren't really great guys, I have met wonderful people, men and women here. Like most others, it is the reason I stay. I love the people I have met here.
I guess I see it differently. I totally agree that it's symbiotic, but I also think that FAs would still definitely come here, because there is more here for them than just T&A; there is the thing that made Conrad want to start Dimensions in the first place, and in a sense, the same thing that's here for BBW/SSBBW: fellowship and not feeling alone. That fellowship is why it was started in the first place, and back then there weren't photos of women, I'm guessing. Of course the dynamic here for women is different than for men, and it would be a very different place without women and without the sexual aspect. I agree with that. Would it be better? Worse? Dunno, I just think it would be different. There would still be doofi (doofuses?), though, but they'd be bugging each other and not us, too. Social retardation is a problem, and some guys have absolutely no clue. I have further opinions, but figure I'll just keep those to myself. But yes, there are some great guys here and some not so great. What I wonder, just personally, is what Dimensions would look like were everyone to have their way about how this place would look -- how it would function. Dimensions was created for a specific purpose, and given that and the fact that the purpose has not changed and is unlikely to change, is it even possible for everyone to have what they want? I can get behind women wanting to see some things done differently, given that I am one. But I have to go back to my feeling that Dims is just part of my life, not all of it, and that I don't let idiots define me, nor do I let someone else's vision define me, either. That whole "take what you need and leave the rest" motto does figure large for me. I understand that it won't, or can't, for others.
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It just seems to be a matter of respect to me, I guess I am just a progressive woman who thinks what is fair for some should be fair for all. I do what everyone else does, I do not go to boards that that make me feel less than the strong, beautiful, fat woman I am. Out of sight, out of mind, but I think we all know that is just a cop out. Because you choose to ignore something, it doesn't make it go away. It just gives people the idea that it is ok to treat others with a lack of respect. It's hard to reconcile that duality within myself.
I'm progressive, too. And also a feminist. I used to post a lot on the Ms. Magazine boards before they died and it was more a woman's board than a man's board, that's for sure. Men were put in line pretty quickly when they started treating the women with disrespect, or for any number of things. There truly is no such thing as equality anywhere but in theory and in some peoples' dreams. That's why, with Dims, I take what I need and leave the rest, and I don't expect Dims to be anything that it hasn't been from the start. There are, of course, always going to be idiots, and in my experience, the idiot factor cuts across gender and applies on almost every board, from what I've seen. Are there things here that I don't like? Hell yes, and there have been ever since I started posting -- and those things have changed, too. Some things got better while others got worse. But as with friends I in general accept Dims for what it is and ignore the parts (and people) that irritate me. If that becomes too much and untenable for me, rather than expect that friend, or place, will change, I will just end the relationship. It's just my own way and I'm not trying to impose that upon anyone else.
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Old 02-10-2010, 06:44 PM   #60
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Originally Posted by MizzSnakeBite View Post
Yeah, I know. It just majorly erks me that the men are put first and get away with a lot...... If we (the women) weren't here, there would be no Dims.......IMO....

Yep, I've made lots of friends (including you my dear!), but some of what goes on here leaves a very bitter taste in my mouth. I'll stay around, but I be at the other place probably more often..

I'm certain there will never be a private woman's board here.....it's a shame since we often can't talk about certain issues without it being sexualized by men (take a peek at the clothing forum where we were talking about shaving and a guy came in wanting pics <sigh>)

Devi

Hi all..

Would someone be willing to PM me regarding other places? I like learning new things!
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Old 02-10-2010, 07:13 PM   #61
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I heart you and I agree Both websites can co-exist.

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Originally Posted by Tina View Post

Dimensions isn't just any one thing. It's a group of people all looking for something -- some things are the same some are not.

I think it's good that there are other places; there should be. And if they are meeting needs and are a place where people feel good about where they're posting, then long may they live.
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Originally Posted by Tina View Post
I, too, doubt there will be a private BBW board. I see value in it myself; but I see value in it whether it's here or elsewhere. I think I'll always see value in Dimensions, even as I avoid certain areas... But I also know its limitations in my own life and where and how to have the conversations I need to have that have nothing to do with Dimensions. I'm okay with that, and would never expect only one person to fulfill all my needs, so I therefore don't expect it of only one board, either. Main thing is that there are so many wonderful people here. That's a big part of what has kept me coming back, and inspired me to moderate here.
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Old 02-11-2010, 12:12 PM   #62
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mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.
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Hi all..

Would someone be willing to PM me regarding other places? I like learning new things!
I mentioned it...you ignored it.....
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Old 02-11-2010, 12:26 PM   #63
RedVelvet
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Location: Snow, snow and more snow. With snow.
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RedVelvet keeps pushing the rep limit!RedVelvet keeps pushing the rep limit!RedVelvet keeps pushing the rep limit!RedVelvet keeps pushing the rep limit!RedVelvet keeps pushing the rep limit!RedVelvet keeps pushing the rep limit!RedVelvet keeps pushing the rep limit!RedVelvet keeps pushing the rep limit!RedVelvet keeps pushing the rep limit!RedVelvet keeps pushing the rep limit!RedVelvet keeps pushing the rep limit!
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I mentioned it...you ignored it.....
Darlin..I didn't..I just wanted to get it out there that I was glad it existed....and wheedle info too.

Strategery.
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Old 02-11-2010, 03:40 PM   #64
MizzSnakeBite
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MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
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I heart you and I agree Both websites can co-exist.
How can you not <3 Tina!
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Old 02-11-2010, 03:40 PM   #65
MizzSnakeBite
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MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
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Originally Posted by RedVelvet View Post
Darlin..I didn't..I just wanted to get it out there that I was glad it existed....and wheedle info too.

Strategery.
I <3 you too!
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"She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would call unrefined. She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot."
Mark Twain

"Hope is a thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and sings the tune without words, and never stops at all."
Emily Dickinson
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Old 02-14-2010, 01:45 PM   #66
Tina
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Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.
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Thank you, Dev. And right back at'cha.
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