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Old 01-18-2010, 01:08 PM   #1
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Default Are there any feedees in this community that are not paysite models?

This is something i wondered. Not saying they are pretending because they are models though i wonder if maby the fact they are feedees is a factor in them 'becoming' models.
Either/or i'm not sure i have met a feedee here who doesn't have a paysite. I wonder how many feedees are actually out there. It seems like there are a lot more feeders than feedees. Is this a problem in the feeder community?
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Old 01-18-2010, 06:53 PM   #2
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This is something i wondered. Not saying they are pretending because they are models though i wonder if maby the fact they are feedees is a factor in them 'becoming' models.
Either/or i'm not sure i have met a feedee here who doesn't have a paysite. I wonder how many feedees are actually out there. It seems like there are a lot more feeders than feedees. Is this a problem in the feeder community?
I know about 15 off the top of my head who are feedees yet aren't associated with paysites. However a lot of them are thinking about doing them because they need the money to pay for bills, tuition or rent.

Some people want to enjoy the fetish with a partner and nobody else, hence why they keep it private.
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Old 01-19-2010, 02:55 AM   #3
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Like 'closet feedees'?
Your friends need to know that if they do porn it wont be a secret anymore!! Also, that they can get jobs in other areas of buisness that pay better!
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Old 01-19-2010, 06:22 AM   #4
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Some people want to enjoy the fetish with a partner and nobody else, hence why they keep it private.
but yet those 15 people told you about it. how odd.
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Old 01-19-2010, 02:52 PM   #5
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but yet those 15 people told you about it. how odd.
I'm talking about enjoying it without trying to make a buck off of it. I know a lot of feeder/feedee couples that are on paysites and clips4sales and there's nothing wrong with it...just saying I know some couples who prefer to keep it private. Sure they'll tell their friends (in my case) but for the most part there aren't any photoshoots, youtube vids or blogs to be made about it.

Wasn't talking about closet cases, was talking about people who don't want to be in the spotlight
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Old 01-20-2010, 05:40 AM   #6
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It seems that as far as this community goes the feedees hide away with their preference or have it as a part of their fetish paysites. I find it funny there are no inbetweens. ie. Feedees who discuss their preferences and are open about them without also selling them.
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Old 01-20-2010, 12:32 PM   #7
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It seems that as far as this community goes the feedees hide away with their preference or have it as a part of their fetish paysites. I find it funny there are no inbetweens. ie. Feedees who discuss their preferences and are open about them without also selling them.
i repped this post.
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Old 01-21-2010, 02:14 PM   #8
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Default Interesting

It's kind of an interesting identity question mergirl raises. Maybe deciding to model is part of the spectrum of awakening to their identify as a feedee. I mean, if these folks get over the barrier of seeing their desire to feed as being bad (which I think we all have to agree is the general consensus), then maybe the next step is to further glamorize by modeling.
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Old 01-21-2010, 02:20 PM   #9
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Oh, yes, they exist.
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Old 01-21-2010, 03:27 PM   #10
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Oh, yes, they exist.
I'm a fuckin' yetti.
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Old 01-21-2010, 03:41 PM   #11
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That explains a thing or twelve.
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Old 01-21-2010, 04:04 PM   #12
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That explains a thing or twelve.
You have such a way with words
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Old 01-21-2010, 10:13 PM   #13
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i don't know if its true anymore but i know someone in his 50s who has been around for a long time and says he has yet to meet a true feedee. i don't know if its true or not or if its different for younger people or what. i just thought it was interesting. i won't say the other stuff he said about it because i don't want to piss people off uneccessarily. i just thought i'd throw it out there for discussion. i'm curious to hear what other people's opinion is of that thought. is he mistaken, misdirected or what?
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Old 01-22-2010, 04:02 AM   #14
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i don't know if its true anymore but i know someone in his 50s who has been around for a long time and says he has yet to meet a true feedee. i don't know if its true or not or if its different for younger people or what. i just thought it was interesting. i won't say the other stuff he said about it because i don't want to piss people off uneccessarily. i just thought i'd throw it out there for discussion. i'm curious to hear what other people's opinion is of that thought. is he mistaken, misdirected or what?
What does your friend mean by 'true feedee'? That the fetish is one which is inbuilt somehow? ie. That is is a product of early childhood experience and is a major componant of their sexuality as opposed to an extention of enjoyment of eating and sex.
I think personally that those who engage in the latter are as much feedees as those men who say they are straight but will let a guy give them a blowjob. Its more about mechanics and pleasure than an inner driven desire
ETA-Though, as i have learned from here it usually boils down to the symantics not yet decided on by a core group and seems quite subjective in many ways.
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Old 01-22-2010, 10:17 AM   #15
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What does your friend mean by 'true feedee'? That the fetish is one which is inbuilt somehow? ie. That is is a product of early childhood experience and is a major componant of their sexuality as opposed to an extention of enjoyment of eating and sex.
I think personally that those who engage in the latter are as much feedees as those men who say they are straight but will let a guy give them a blowjob. Its more about mechanics and pleasure than an inner driven desire
ETA-Though, as i have learned from here it usually boils down to the symantics not yet decided on by a core group and seems quite subjective in many ways.
-well what he was getting at was that he personally thought that a lot of feedees he had known were:

-vulnerable women who would do whatever a feeder wanted to keep male attention and would adopt the mantra or dogma for a while for a particular person

-someone looking for a cover for food addiction as an alternative to just feeling and looking out of control

-someone not necessarily enjoying thier size but just needing to find a justification for being as fat as they are and a supportive admiring community to be behind them

-someone addicted to the attention because they had never had any for thier looks before

-someone trying to make a buck

he pretty much believes its not an inborn drive for most BBWs. this is not my personal perspective since i really have no idea. i don't have the ability to see inside of people. i can understand where he might think that though. he had said that over the years people who professed to be feedees had not stood up to the test of time. this could of course be some bitterness talking about the ability to find a partner appropriate for him that would manifest his own personal fantasies. but it does make me wonder --is it possible for a need for a fetish to change or diminish over the years as well? it might not be that they aren't real feedees but possibly that thier focus might move elsewhere. it also makes me wonder in particular whether there is a difference between women and men and how they are attached to thier fetish and how we view that. i have also heard of people into S&M etc... say that their interest changed for various reasons. i wonder if thats whats going on there and not so much whether someone's interest is "real" or not.

i know a LOT of male feedees but it seems to me that they are approached differently from females. some are even very thin and fit and actually prefer to stay that way even though they have the fantasy to be a feedee. but it seems to me that women are expected to show the results of being a feedee more. i wonder if thats really true or not as well. i have to be honest and say that is the impression i have often gotten from reading dims. i wonder if people tend to like to say that others are not real feedees out of the frustration of not being able to see an actual physical gain. also you can't leave out the people who would like to characterize people as fakes simply because they are against feedism overall and are looking for anything to prove that it isn't valid and that ther is something "wrong" with the people engaged in it. i had always thought that a fetish fantasy could run the gamut from just talking about it to actually doing it. i was under the impression that fantasy engaged just by talking about it and role playing was just as much a function of fetish as actually "showing the signs" of being involved. i'm not sure that not showing the signs of having been feed is necessarily lying about a preference as some people might characterize it but just the outgrowth of another way to engage fantasy.

also interesting to note: the person that i'm talking about has come to feel over the years that too much extra weight is bad for BBWs and he worries for the health of his friends and has even been known to encourage people to lose weight for the sake of regaining thier mobility etc... goes to show you how complex and multi layered life really is and why its important not to judge a book by a perceived cover.

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Old 01-22-2010, 07:48 PM   #16
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This is something i wondered. Not saying they are pretending because they are models though i wonder if maby the fact they are feedees is a factor in them 'becoming' models.
Either/or i'm not sure i have met a feedee here who doesn't have a paysite. I wonder how many feedees are actually out there. It seems like there are a lot more feeders than feedees. Is this a problem in the feeder community?

Outside "this" community a feeder is basically anyone who cooks for pleasure and or serves food to others for pleasure . A feedee is someone who gets some sort of pleasure from eating food. Having working in the Food and Beverage industry I saw alot of it. Most cooks and chefs are feeders and feedee's are considered foodies or gourmets.

Not sure were I fit in because, depending on the person, I get turned on by watching people eat. To me, its an indicator of how they will be ...in bed.



On a side thought..

Back in the late 80's/ early 90's the big thing in the news was anorexia/bulimia which shed light on those who couldn't handle their love of food and tried to hide it by puking it up, taking laxatives, or working out for hours.
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Old 01-22-2010, 08:45 PM   #17
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Yeah, they exist. I know plenty. Besides, all paysite girls are non-paysite girls at one point so it would seem to reason that there are some non-paysite girls out there right now who are feedees. Personally, I entertain the fantasy a little in my paysite stuff but let me tell you.. it ain't NOTHING compared to what's really swirling around my head.. mostly because I don't want to constantly be bothered by questions about how much I'm gaining and all that crap.. because.. I'm not gaining, on purpose at least, and if you say out and out, yeah I'm a feedee well then the expectation is you're gaining and will do so on your site.. so I mostly leave it out. Plus, it's pretty personal for me.. especially once you get into specific fantasies and stuff. Anyway I've gone off on a tangent but the answer is yes and I don't think they're as rare as we're led to believe.
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Old 01-23-2010, 05:22 AM   #18
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I'm a real feedee. I have no pay site. I've never been quiet about being a feedee. Even have my own non-pay-site about feedism.

ps: I hope my answer doesn't imply that I think people with pay-sites aren't real or even real feedees, I'm just trying to answer all parts of the question.
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Old 01-23-2010, 05:55 AM   #19
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I have never met one. T_T But I'm sure they exist.
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Old 01-23-2010, 09:45 AM   #20
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i agree there are girls without sites. i've been close to opening a site but havnet cause of various reasons. every little bit of money does help though.
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Old 01-23-2010, 10:10 AM   #21
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he pretty much believes its not an inborn drive for most BBWs. this is not my personal perspective since i really have no idea. i don't have the ability to see inside of people. i can understand where he might think that though. he had said that over the years people who professed to be feedees had not stood up to the test of time. this could of course be some bitterness talking about the ability to find a partner appropriate for him that would manifest his own personal fantasies. but it does make me wonder --.... it might not be that they aren't real feedees but possibly that thier focus might move elsewhere. it also makes me wonder in particular whether there is a difference between women and men and how they are attached to thier fetish and how we view that. i have also heard of people into S&M etc... say that their interest changed for various reasons. i wonder if thats whats going on there and not so much whether someone's interest is "real" or not.
Whether it's inborn or just imprinted somehow at an early age, it's really important to seperate gender and size from having a sexual fetish. People of either gender and of all sizes get turned on by feeding or being fed or some variation of this along the lines of body inflation or bloating or stuffing. It's a big mistake to assume someody is into feederism just because they're fat or to assume a fat person got that way for any particular reason. I'd say it's statistically pretty unlikely for a random fat person to have gotten that way because they're feedees, so trolling the BBW world trying to find one makes it no more or less likely than finding one anyplace else.

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is it possible for a need for a fetish to change or diminish over the years as well?
Possibly. But probably not. If that were the case wouldn't somebody in his fifties be over it by now?

It's also possible for somebody to be into this and not really make it a big part of their life. The could just jerk off to it and go about their business and never even know about bashes or Fantasy Feeder or Dims or paysites with this theme.

I will never ever ever understand the need some people have to "understand" this fetish or to try to explain it away as being something other than what it is. I'm not trying to insult the OP here, it's just that these ruminations don't make any more sense to me than everyone sitting around trying to determine why some people are transgendered or have shoe fetishes. It's fair to say it's probably a combination of inborn-ness and early childhood imprinting, which is why most people recall being into it from childhood.

As thatgirl08 has pointed out, it sexualizes something not typically sexualized, but for most people it is strictly about sex. It's not about cooking for your lover and it's not about going against social norms that tell everyone to be skinny and it's not about doing something for approval (you may behave that way, but that doesn't make you a feedee anymore than being with a fat person makes you an FA) and it's not about anything other than getting a sexual charge from this particular idea or activity. That is all it is. The likelihood that anyone is gonna suddenly have a lightbulb go off over their head and understand it is pretty dim seeing as that most people who have it dont' know why they have it.
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Old 01-23-2010, 12:02 PM   #22
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i don't wonder that there are feedees who just don't tell anybody. people really don't make the environment all that secure for them to be able to. but it might help a lot if they could because it might dispel some stereotypes.
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Old 01-23-2010, 12:12 PM   #23
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LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by superodalisque View Post
i don't wonder that there are feedees who just don't tell anybody. people really don't make the environment all that secure for them to be able to. but it might help a lot if they could because it might dispel some stereotypes.
To be blunt about it, the most stereotypes seem to exist here. The majority of people outside of this community have either never heard of it or even if they have and think it's like the movie "Feed" they're not strongly emotionally invested in it and are easily turned away from the negative stereotype. I had a RL friend who had nothing to do with this community see a review of the movie. She knew i practiced it and said "So I heard about this movie but i'm guessing it's really nothing like this, right?" Most reasonable people don't think there are legions of men with 600 pound women tied up to feeding tubes in their basements. The times i've told people i was into this i generally get a blank stare or like a "wow..that's crazy..ok..whatever" the same as most people would react to any sexual fetish they don't have. I'm not sure on a mundane level it's that interesting. So long as they don't see a miserable SS man panting along behind me while I furiously masturbate to his discomfort, they probably are going to leave well enough alone.
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Old 01-23-2010, 03:22 PM   #24
fatcow3h
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: lexington park, md
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fatcow3h has said some nice things
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yes it is very difficult to "come out" online and in person. maybe one day society will be more accepting of this.
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Old 01-23-2010, 03:56 PM   #25
thatgirl08
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Join Date: Apr 2008
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thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!thatgirl08 keeps pushing the rep limit!
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Despite the notion this site is all about fetish it's actually really hard to talk about it on here.. too much stigma, too many stereotypes. And now I feel too invested in Dims emotionally to just lay it all out because I worry what people will think.. the people who I've met & who I care about on here. 99% of the time I wish I had kept it completly quiet but it's too late for that.
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