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Old 01-23-2010, 04:17 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by thatgirl08 View Post
Despite the notion this site is all about fetish it's actually really hard to talk about it on here.. too much stigma, too many stereotypes. And now I feel too invested in Dims emotionally to just lay it all out because I worry what people will think.. the people who I've met & who I care about on here. 99% of the time I wish I had kept it completly quiet but it's too late for that.
You should talk about things only if you're comfortable.

That being said, nobody has the right to judge you or think differently of you as a person because of what your sexuality is. Humans are sexual beings by nature; everyone is wired differently and anyone who is thinking about things that turn you on is probably turned on by things that would seem just as bizarre to you.

Personally I've explored and discussed going to some pretty extreme places with this fetish. My take on this is so long as nobody is harmed, coerced, or disrespected, what i or a partner fantasizes about or does is between us. If anyone chooses to discuss it, that needs to be respected. Nobody has to understand it; they just have to respect anyone's right to have it.
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Old 01-23-2010, 05:55 PM   #27
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You should talk about things only if you're comfortable.

That being said, nobody has the right to judge you or think differently of you as a person because of what your sexuality is. Humans are sexual beings by nature; everyone is wired differently and anyone who is thinking about things that turn you on is probably turned on by things that would seem just as bizarre to you.

Personally I've explored and discussed going to some pretty extreme places with this fetish. My take on this is so long as nobody is harmed, coerced, or disrespected, what i or a partner fantasizes about or does is between us. If anyone chooses to discuss it, that needs to be respected. Nobody has to understand it; they just have to respect anyone's right to have it.
Ultimately that is true, and generally speaking I don't let it stop me but sometimes I'm like ugh, why did I even bring this up!?
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Old 01-23-2010, 06:03 PM   #28
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yes i agree 100 percent
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Old 01-23-2010, 06:07 PM   #29
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I know lots of em! They are great to talk to. It actually leaves a bit of mystery actually.

Paysite models may post a new set once every week and say they have gained some (If they are feedees/gainers). And a girl who is a gainer/feedee that doesn't post about it may tell you a few months later that they went from 250 up to 300. Not saying I don't like watching girls gradually gain, but sometimes hearing about a girl who had been a lighter weight gaining a lot more weight than you were expecting is always a treat.

Nonetheless, gaining is awesome... but as long as they are enjoying it or accept it
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Old 01-24-2010, 12:07 AM   #30
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While looking up a term to label why my ex was trying to make me fat is how I initially ran across FA/BBW type sites like this one. Unfortunately, the term feeder really didn't apply to him because he was.. in no way shape or form... a FA. For him, it was a way to control/limited my activities. It backfired because I am a FA and got off on my own fat and broke up with him.
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Old 01-25-2010, 06:51 AM   #31
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-well what he was getting at was that he personally thought that a lot of feedees he had known were:

-vulnerable women who would do whatever a feeder wanted to keep male attention and would adopt the mantra or dogma for a while for a particular person

-someone looking for a cover for food addiction as an alternative to just feeling and looking out of control

-someone not necessarily enjoying thier size but just needing to find a justification for being as fat as they are and a supportive admiring community to be behind them

-someone addicted to the attention because they had never had any for thier looks before

-someone trying to make a buck

he pretty much believes its not an inborn drive for most BBWs.
See, i'm sure for some this may be the case though not all. I guess i wondered how many people actually discuss this fetish here and if the reason they might not discuss it was because either it was taboo even here, like Thatgirl mentioned or there were just not that many people involved (This could mean in a real life capacity and also supression of urges too though). The reason i asked about 'non paysite models' is that i know that the gainer/feedee part can be either made up or exentuated because its what the custumer wants. I can understand that but i don't think it gives an accurate portrayal in many ways. I wondered too if there are reasons for more men seemingly being into this. Like you said, the majority of the male feedees/gainers seem to be thin too.
I don't believe that any fetish is innate, so i would agree with your friend on that point; Though i guess the mechanism to eat is evolutionary and innate, though just not sexualised.
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Old 01-25-2010, 07:35 AM   #32
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I know lots of em! They are great to talk to. It actually leaves a bit of mystery actually.

Paysite models may post a new set once every week and say they have gained some (If they are feedees/gainers). And a girl who is a gainer/feedee that doesn't post about it may tell you a few months later that they went from 250 up to 300. Not saying I don't like watching girls gradually gain, but sometimes hearing about a girl who had been a lighter weight gaining a lot more weight than you were expecting is always a treat.

Nonetheless, gaining is awesome... but as long as they are enjoying it or accept it
I agree, Spoon. I guess in the United States it's easier to find them. Here in old Europe I find pretty hard to find any kind of feedee.
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Old 01-25-2010, 08:40 AM   #33
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I consider myself a feedee, in that I derive intense sexual pleasure from both eating large amounts of food and from gaining weight.

I have felt this way since I was a child.

That said, in real life I have never been romantically involved with a feeder, and I do practice a certain degree of moderation. There's a constant tension in my life between practicality and sensuality.
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Old 01-25-2010, 10:39 AM   #34
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I wondered too if there are reasons for more men seemingly being into this.
Seemingly being the important notation there. There are no paysites featuring gaining men with one exception and that one caters to bisexual males as well as females. Even though several sites feature gaining women, women still come here and read about how feeders are awful manipulative individuals and how they prey on vulnerable women which implies that nobody really is into being a feedee/gainer. That also can make female feeders look suspect because feeders are "supposed to be" male and "supposed to be" dishonest and manipulative.

Since Dims also has a constant tension between WB posters and those who find it disturbing, this isn't the best environment to discuss it or to feel comfortable being open about it because you're pretty likely to read a post where somebody insists their right to free speech has been infringed upon if they can't go to the WB and tell everyone how disturbing their turn-ons are and how it makes certain people really really uncomfortable. These are the posts that will always note the poster is totally down with fetishism and has his or her own crazy kinks but that they just desperately NEED to be able to express how negatively they feel about feederism and related turn ons.
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Old 01-25-2010, 01:43 PM   #35
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i don't know if its true anymore but i know someone in his 50s who has been around for a long time and says he has yet to meet a true feedee. i don't know if its true or not or if its different for younger people or what. i just thought it was interesting. i won't say the other stuff he said about it because i don't want to piss people off uneccessarily. i just thought i'd throw it out there for discussion. i'm curious to hear what other people's opinion is of that thought. is he mistaken, misdirected or what?
I guess it depends on what his definition of "true feedee" is. I consider myself a true feedee. I find eating and weight gain arousing and in a perfect world I'd gain weight. Unfortunately though, our world isn't perfect and weight gain has a limit and comes with consequences. I've had men tell me that I'm not a true feedee because I'm not currently actively gaining. Guess what I say? Fuck them. When they understand, FIRST HAND, what it is like to be fat, especially over 300 pounds, in our society and the effect that weight gain can have on someone, physically, mentally, emotionally, socially.. then they can talk. I don't tolerate men trying to tell me what to do with my body. If they try to convince me to gain weight, or tell me that it isn't that big of a deal or that "a little more wouldn't hurt" the conversation stops. Those are the people that tell me I'm not a true feedee, that I'm making it up or doing it for attention without any follow through. I honestly do not give a fuck because gaining hundreds of pounds for faceless men on the internet is so ridiculous that I refuse to even entertain the idea anymore.
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Old 01-25-2010, 01:52 PM   #36
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Since Dims also has a constant tension between WB posters and those who find it disturbing, this isn't the best environment to discuss it or to feel comfortable being open about it[/I]
This. However, I've more or less come to the conclusion that Dims isn't the best place to discuss fetishes because there is mixed company here and a good percentage of the people here aren't comfortable with it. I'm not thrilled with it, but Dims isn't hospitable to that kind of discussion. I know a lot of people who are into the fetish but don't want to post. I honestly think you'd be surprised, in a lot of cases, who on here is into it or how "dark" some peoples fantasies are.
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Old 01-25-2010, 01:58 PM   #37
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As a FFA ...I view everyone on this board and IRL who is overweight or been overweight a feedee.
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Old 01-25-2010, 04:02 PM   #38
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This. However, I've more or less come to the conclusion that Dims isn't the best place to discuss fetishes because there is mixed company here and a good percentage of the people here aren't comfortable with it. I'm not thrilled with it, but Dims isn't hospitable to that kind of discussion. I know a lot of people who are into the fetish but don't want to post. I honestly think you'd be surprised, in a lot of cases, who on here is into it or how "dark" some peoples fantasies are.
And see this is the problem because it's ridiculous to have a gathering of people who are into *something* they likely don't have a venue to discuss IRL and they get silenced because a fairly small contingent on this site can't leave well enough alone. I honestly feel like the majority of posters on here would easily not bother and just not come to this part of the board, but there are always going to be some people who think it's their right to come here and harass people.

What amazes me even more is the insistence by some people to actually loosen the restrictions on what people can say because somebody, somewhere might have had bad experiences with feeders and thus needs to offer unwanted commentary. To me that is 100% the same as allowing somebody who's straight but had at some point been harassed by somebody of the same gender to patrol the LGBT board and insist that gays actually are predatory and likely to harass straight people.
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Old 01-25-2010, 04:19 PM   #39
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Yeah, I hear this is really quite a problem.
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Old 01-25-2010, 06:08 PM   #40
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Yeah, I hear this is really quite a problem.
You're really funny.
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Old 01-25-2010, 06:39 PM   #41
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This. However, I've more or less come to the conclusion that Dims isn't the best place to discuss fetishes because there is mixed company here and a good percentage of the people here aren't comfortable with it. I'm not thrilled with it, but Dims isn't hospitable to that kind of discussion. I know a lot of people who are into the fetish but don't want to post. I honestly think you'd be surprised, in a lot of cases, who on here is into it or how "dark" some peoples fantasies are.
Where would you recommend going? I'm on FF but the "faceless" quotient (which for me usually involves people that either a) can't spell or b) can't hold a conversation without making a poorly-worded creepy compliment) is pretty high there too.
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Old 01-25-2010, 06:47 PM   #42
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Where would you recommend going? I'm on FF but the "faceless" quotient (which for me usually involves people that either a) can't spell or b) can't hold a conversation without making a poorly-worded creepy compliment) is pretty high there too.
There is no where. FF is too faceless and too many people not wanting to discuss, just wank. Don't get me wrong, wanking has it's place but.. it doesn't make for good discussion. Personal PMs and IMs is where 99% of my discussion about it occurs. Or, ADF on FB haha.
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Old 01-25-2010, 06:51 PM   #43
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Where would you recommend going? I'm on FF but the "faceless" quotient (which for me usually involves people that either a) can't spell or b) can't hold a conversation without making a poorly-worded creepy compliment) is pretty high there too.
She shouldn't have to go somewhere else because a small bunch of grownups can't resist trolling this board. Simple application of the Golden Rule would work just fine.
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Old 01-25-2010, 08:00 PM   #44
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Seemingly being the important notation there. There are no paysites featuring gaining men with one exception and that one caters to bisexual males as well as females. Even though several sites feature gaining women, women still come here and read about how feeders are awful manipulative individuals and how they prey on vulnerable women which implies that nobody really is into being a feedee/gainer. That also can make female feeders look suspect because feeders are "supposed to be" male and "supposed to be" dishonest and manipulative.

Since Dims also has a constant tension between WB posters and those who find it disturbing, this isn't the best environment to discuss it or to feel comfortable being open about it because you're pretty likely to read a post where somebody insists their right to free speech has been infringed upon if they can't go to the WB and tell everyone how disturbing their turn-ons are and how it makes certain people really really uncomfortable. These are the posts that will always note the poster is totally down with fetishism and has his or her own crazy kinks but that they just desperately NEED to be able to express how negatively they feel about feederism and related turn ons.
i dunno but i am surprised a female feeder finds much opposition IRL. hey, on dims no one has a situation where no one has a problem with them and what they are doing and thier opinions so maybe thats not a realistic background for being a feeder or feedee. its seems that its always been kind of acceptable to make a man fat. maybe the reason is the perception is that men aren't going to do something they don't really want to do --whether thats true or not. no one thinks its strange if a woman tells her lover that she loves seeing him eat and enjoy his food. i'm not sure people find it odd at all if a man gains when he is in a relationship. they just assume he's happy relaxed and eating well. nobody seems to care all that much if a woman thinks fat men are sexy. but its interesting to see the reaction when you turn all that around. it might have something to do with the fact that women feeders have been able to "normalize" feeding for lack of a better term. to society it just looks like a loving and nurturing act. maybe the problem that male feeders have is that they haven't yet been quite able to cross that gulf. so people aren't sure that what they are doing with a feedee is loving. maybe it has more to do with the language and expression around it rather than whats actually going on?

i know some guys who wouldn't characterized themselves as feeders can do it much easier with virtually no opposition. maybe because it at least appears to be more sensualized. i was talking with some people about this recently and a guy who is an FA and not a feeder said that the language of feeders on dims reminded him of people growing a pumpkins in 4H. its all rather scientific and disconnected at times --more about the mechanisms. so i'm wondering if feedees who are female and get the sexy sensualized treatment rather than the weighing measuring and competing treatment actually don't feel like they are feedees even though they might be one? maybe they just feel like a sexy woman her guy wants to do something nice for and not so much just a project he likes to work on for self enrichment? i know for myself i allow non feeders to do things for me that i never could with a feeder since it doesn't come off as being as self centered but more loving. i'm not posing this idea to attack--just saying. so maybe it might be more of the background its set against that makes people define themselves as feedees? if you say feedee it implies its related more to a sexual scene than to a relationship. its just something that gets people off. but people might like indulging in things together and don't define it as a kink or a fetish--just something they lovingly like to do thats sexy and both people enjoy?

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Old 01-25-2010, 08:08 PM   #45
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Feederism is like a gun...it depends upon the personality of the person. A dominate person is way different than a submissive person.
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Old 01-25-2010, 08:20 PM   #46
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Originally Posted by chicken legs View Post
Feederism is like a gun...it depends upon the personality of the person. A dominate person is way different than a submissive person.
does feederism necessarily depend on dominant submissive interplay? does it have to function only as a fetish behavior? maybe thats why some people who might actually be feedees won't define themselves as such? maybe they don't like the connotaton of being just a part of a sex scene rather than a relationship? maybe its like the difference between someone feeding them a piece of cherry pie slowly and sensually spoonful by spoonful and making love to them after and someone who tries to feed them as much pie as they can possibly hold and weighing and measuring after? are both people feedees?
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Old 01-25-2010, 08:28 PM   #47
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does feederism necessarily depend on dominant submissive interplay?
Most of the time.

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does it have to function only as a fetish behavior?
Yes, it's a fetish. Don't confuse it with feeding somebody a strawberry.
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maybe thats why some people who might actually be feedees won't define themselves as such? maybe they don't like the connotaton of being just a part of a sex scene rather than a relationship?
It is a sexual encounter, and it may happen with or without a relationship. Like many kinks, it can be practiced within a relationship or as an isolated encounter or series of encounters with a likeminded partner. Some people practice BDSM with a life partner and some go to dungeons or clubs for anonymous hookups. If somebody self ascribes as "gay" it means they're sexually aroused by somebody of the same gender, and they're gay no matter if they're with a same sex life partner or jerking off to gay porn. People who are feeders or feedees understand the difference, they really do.


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maybe its like the difference between someone feeding them a piece of cherry pie slowly and sensually spoonful by spoonful and making love to them after and someone who tries to feed them as much pie as they can possibly hold and weighing and measuring after? are both people feedees?
No. I don't know why people can't grasp that feederism is a very very specific kink and it doesn't have anything to do with feeding somebody cherry pie slowly. Why do you feel a constant need to redefine this as something it's not? If you like being fed cherry pie because it tastes good or for some other reason, have at it, but it's not feederism just because food is involved. It seems many women would like to cast feederism or erotic weight gain as something other than getting off on feeding or gaining.
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Old 01-25-2010, 08:43 PM   #48
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Originally Posted by superodalisque View Post
does feederism necessarily depend on dominant submissive interplay? does it have to function only as a fetish behavior? maybe thats why some people who might actually be feedees won't define themselves as such? maybe they don't like the connotaton of being just a part of a sex scene rather than a relationship? maybe its like the difference between someone feeding them a piece of cherry pie slowly and sensually spoonful by spoonful and making love to them after and someone who tries to feed them as much pie as they can possibly hold and weighing and measuring after? are both people feedees?
Any and all relationships depend on dominant submissive interplay including feederism.

Amongst FA/FFA...I can't speak for all of us...but yes. (unless your nursing someone back to health or something...but then again..I can't speak for everyone)

Once again its all about perception. Example is ..I didn't know I was considered a FA because I like fat until I became aware of this community. Likewise, a the eating habits of most people who derive pleasure from food are feedee...at least to me. Outside the community they could be called a Foodie or Gourmets.

Yeah, it really depends on the person.

That really depends on what both parties want.

Yes both examples are in the realm of feederism
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secret turn on.....Genuine affection :)

Last edited by chicken legs; 01-25-2010 at 08:45 PM.
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Old 01-25-2010, 08:54 PM   #49
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Originally Posted by chicken legs View Post
Any and all relationships depend on dominant submissive interplay including feederism.

Amongst FA/FFA...I can't speak for all of us...but yes. (unless your nursing someone back to health or something...but then again..I can't speak for everyone)

Once again its all about perception. Example is ..I didn't know I was considered a FA because I like fat until I became aware of this community. Likewise, a the eating habits of most people who derive pleasure from food are feedee...at least to me. Outside the community they could be called a Foodie or Gourmets.

Yeah, it really depends on the person.

That really depends on what both parties want.

Yes both examples are in the realm of feederism
what kind of pleasure from food are you talking about? i'm not sure thats clear to me. are you saying anybody who just likes food or...?

i disagree about the dominant submissive thing. i think it might be an over simplification that its a part of all relationships. i think there is a real difference between give and take and the dominant submissive relationship. i always thought dominant and submissives have unquestionable roles they set up where as in an other reationships its a more fluid situation where one person has more power than the other at some times and the other at another times depending on the individual needs and the situtaion. sure power always figures into human relationships to some extent but nothing like the dominant submissive level.
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Old 01-25-2010, 09:24 PM   #50
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chicken legs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chicken legs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chicken legs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chicken legs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chicken legs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chicken legs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chicken legs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chicken legs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chicken legs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chicken legs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!chicken legs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
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Originally Posted by superodalisque View Post
what kind of pleasure from food are you talking about? i'm not sure thats clear to me. are you saying anybody who just likes food or...?

i disagree about the dominant submissive thing. i think it might be an over simplification that its a part of all relationships. i think there is a real difference between give and take and the dominant submissive relationship. i always thought dominant and submissives have unquestionable roles they set up where as in an other reationships its a more fluid situation where one person has more power than the other at some times and the other at another times depending on the individual needs and the situtaion. sure power always figures into human relationships to some extent but nothing like the dominant submissive level.
I never thought about doms and subs until I became aware of the BDSM culture. So now, I label certain behaviours as either dom, sub, or switch. Likewise, now that I am aware of the FA community, I label people as either feeder, feedee, or both (switch).

For the most part, to me food means fuel, because I have gym culture deeply rooted in my mind and insensitive taste buds. However, because of being aware of the Fa community, I realize that when someone hits a blissfull state from eating I realize they are a feedee and since I derive pleasure from watching people eat..I am a feeder.
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secret turn on.....Genuine affection :)
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