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Old 03-03-2010, 10:00 AM   #1
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Default My body, MY choice.

I know this has been discussed before, but I feel the need to bring something up. I'm really, really getting tired of people accusing GIRLS that are into feederism of not knowing what they're getting themselves into. I know of a few occasions where people have said extremely hurtful things about me, and friends, regarding our "kinks." It's ridiculous. I know what I'm getting into. I have a very, very obese grandmother and my mother is the same size I am. I see how they live, and I KNOW what I'm doing. There's this... concern... for people like me, from people who have no business voicing concern over me. I'm fine. Whether or not I gain weight, whether or not that gain is on purpose or not, whether or not I find sexual things regarding weight gain is up to ME.

People keep saying that girls who are into feederism are doing it for reasons OTHER THAN the fact that they're genuinely into it.
"She's harming her body for the sake of her paysite."
"She's only gaining weight because that guy wants her to."

It's just not. true. People throw these, and other excuses out ALL THE TIME and I am so. fucking. sick. of it. People that don't even really KNOW the people they're "voicing concern" about... How can you even BE concerned? I think for a lot of people "voicing concern" means "bashing in a passive aggressive manner"

So just... lay the fuck off. Seriously now.
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Old 03-03-2010, 10:55 AM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by krismiss View Post
I know this has been discussed before, but I feel the need to bring something up. I'm really, really getting tired of people accusing GIRLS that are into feederism of not knowing what they're getting themselves into. I know of a few occasions where people have said extremely hurtful things about me, and friends, regarding our "kinks." It's ridiculous. I know what I'm getting into. I have a very, very obese grandmother and my mother is the same size I am. I see how they live, and I KNOW what I'm doing. There's this... concern... for people like me, from people who have no business voicing concern over me. I'm fine. Whether or not I gain weight, whether or not that gain is on purpose or not, whether or not I find sexual things regarding weight gain is up to ME.

People keep saying that girls who are into feederism are doing it for reasons OTHER THAN the fact that they're genuinely into it.
"She's harming her body for the sake of her paysite."
"She's only gaining weight because that guy wants her to."

It's just not. true. People throw these, and other excuses out ALL THE TIME and I am so. fucking. sick. of it. People that don't even really KNOW the people they're "voicing concern" about... How can you even BE concerned? I think for a lot of people "voicing concern" means "bashing in a passive aggressive manner"

So just... lay the fuck off. Seriously now.
Where are you seeing this?
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Old 03-03-2010, 08:54 PM   #3
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I know I see it on curvage and several sites I frequent where dimensions as a community comes up. It's a little more subtle here on the boards, but you might find it if you look. Now that I think about it - there have certainly been discussions on the weight board where prominent members of the dims community have stated, and I'm paraphrasing here, " feederism is a form of abuse because weight gain is inherently unhealthy and that's that Lalalala I'm not listenning!"
I agree with Kriss 100% on this. If someone wants to do something you think is inadvisable you're entitled to your opinion, but it's still ultimately that person's decision if it doesn't directly effect you and yours. A fair understanding of the healthcare system and/or the nature of statistics is unfortunately almost essential to making this determination
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Old 03-03-2010, 09:22 PM   #4
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Do you even have to ask? People post things on various boards, people message things back and forth to other people, *actual conversations* between people... like, in person, messages, hell, I had someone REP me on here a while back telling me she doesn't agree with my "lifestyle"... even after i'd made it clear at that point that I wasn't gaining.

Speaking of rep, how the hell do I not have a 2nd orange can yet? A lot of you mofos that repped me better speak up
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Old 03-04-2010, 05:27 PM   #5
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P.S. I guess there was some confusion? I'm not asking for rep, I'm asking the 11 of you to actually participate in the thread, k?
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Old 03-04-2010, 05:34 PM   #6
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Not sure if I'm one of the 11, but I got your back.
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Old 03-04-2010, 05:59 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marlowegarp View Post
Not sure if I'm one of the 11, but I got your back.
actually, timmy, you're number 12

but that's not the point, PEOPLE, FOCUS ON TOPIC, NOT STUPID REP COMMENT I MADE.
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Old 03-04-2010, 06:08 PM   #8
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I get you Krissy, people always think they know what's best for you, and chances are they don't. We are faced with all sorts of messages from every direction telling us what we should look like and what we should want to look like and it's so easy to get caught up.. in either direction. You need to look within yourself, strip away all the bullshit from everyone and look at the situation from what you TRULY want for yourself, not what everyone else wants for you. It's so easy to get pushed in a direction by what others think but it's so important to truly understand and follow what you want because it's your body, it's your life, it's your health and only you will have to deal with the consequences. Just ignore the rest, because their opinion doesn't matter in the end.
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Old 03-05-2010, 01:26 AM   #9
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Most people think that women are incapable of wanting to do things, enjoy things or look a certain way just for themselves - its always got to be cos you want to impress a man. Thats why a whole lot of people still say things like: OMG if you're wearing a tiny skirt and tons of make up and slutty hair it is because of the shinywonderful lure of THE PENIS!! ehehehehe! (Disclaimer: Not that there's anything wrong with doing stuff for the penis - the penis rocks ) Many people, even in the fat community, cannot conceive of women who do things - strange and kinky and disturbing things, or who deliberatly look, dress or eat a certain way - for their own gratification and not just for drooling masses. Don't let it bother you. There is always going to be somebody somewhere who is convinced they know you better than you know yourself and that they have to save you from you so tell them to eff off and move on with your life and your kinks, whatever they may be.
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Old 03-05-2010, 11:41 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by krismiss View Post
I know this has been discussed before, but I feel the need to bring something up. I'm really, really getting tired of people accusing GIRLS that are into feederism of not knowing what they're getting themselves into. I know of a few occasions where people have said extremely hurtful things about me, and friends, regarding our "kinks." It's ridiculous. I know what I'm getting into. I have a very, very obese grandmother and my mother is the same size I am. I see how they live, and I KNOW what I'm doing. There's this... concern... for people like me, from people who have no business voicing concern over me. I'm fine. Whether or not I gain weight, whether or not that gain is on purpose or not, whether or not I find sexual things regarding weight gain is up to ME.

People keep saying that girls who are into feederism are doing it for reasons OTHER THAN the fact that they're genuinely into it.
"She's harming her body for the sake of her paysite."
"She's only gaining weight because that guy wants her to."

It's just not. true. People throw these, and other excuses out ALL THE TIME and I am so. fucking. sick. of it. People that don't even really KNOW the people they're "voicing concern" about... How can you even BE concerned? I think for a lot of people "voicing concern" means "bashing in a passive aggressive manner"

So just... lay the fuck off. Seriously now.
This is the exact opposite of what I thought this thread would be about! Yay! *Applause* Brush off those haterz!
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Old 03-05-2010, 05:25 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by joswitch View Post
This is the exact opposite of what I thought this thread would be about! Yay! *Applause* Brush off those haterz!
It's the erotic weight gain board... did you think I was talking about abortion?
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Old 03-05-2010, 05:51 PM   #12
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It's the erotic weight gain board... did you think I was talking about abortion?
No, I didn't think it was about that... :P
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Old 03-06-2010, 03:32 PM   #13
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Hey KrissMiss,

I totally understand what you want to tell us!
I'm with you in this. I'm also getting sick and tired of people who tell things are 'bad', because they are 'allowed to say it' and are 'concerned'...

People that don't even really KNOW the people they're "voicing concern" about... How can you even BE concerned?
You are SO right!

I have a friend who is into gaining and she has her own Paysite and is known on Dims. She WAS a feedee and gained alot of weight and people kept telling her it was bad and this and that. She even got on national television to hear that! I believe that her decision to stop gaining and loose weight certainly has to do with all those people... She is a smart and fun girl, though, but other people are acting like crazy


btw: I couldn't rep you, LOL
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Old 03-09-2010, 11:39 PM   #14
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You make an excellent point, Kriss. But remember that some people just don't know when to keep to their own business. There are ALWAYS gonna have those people who are gonna snoop.

Just do what I do. IGNORE them. Or not worry about what they say.
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Old 03-09-2010, 11:45 PM   #15
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As a variation on the OP's post, I've had similar issues in the gaining/encouraging community. Sure, when you're full of self-confidence and camming with them, it's great: you look good, you're hot, blah blah blah. But then, everyone turns on you once you decide to slow down, or stop. You go from gaining god to a poser, a loser, a faker. I took a 7 month break from gaining last year, and about 75% of the people I talked to immediately cut me off, except to occasionally ask if I "came to my senses." It's not like I lost 80 pounds (I maintained the same weight for the entire period), but since I wasn't portraying their exact fantasy, I became the enemy.

My body, my choice.
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Old 03-15-2010, 05:45 PM   #16
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Obviously I agree with this post. I've made this point a dozen times before, and no matter how much I try to stress personal choice, all I get are replies along the lines of "I find it hard to believe that someone could be happy that way" or "anyone who would do that is just desperate." I can try to point out how many women explicitly express a desire to grain crazy amounts of weight because THEY WANT to, but because I'm not a gaining woman myself, it's useless.
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Old 03-18-2010, 06:31 AM   #17
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Default Why should all decisions be logical?

People are always making decisions that others condemn and often the condemnation is on the grounds that what the person is doing or seeking, even though it is completely legal, is bad for them.

So, let's take an example of something that is bad for persons health and bad for their economic situation. -- giving birth.

Logically it can be argued that no reasonable woman would ever want to have a child. Becoming pregnant can cause all kinds of health issues including death. Unless you do it at home, giving birth is an expensive proposition. And raising children has a very negative effect on a person's bank account.

So, any person who is condemning somebody else making a life choice that may have a negative effect on their health or financial well-being should also be condemning anyone seeking to become pregnant.

If they are loudly announcing that gaining weight is unhealthy and bad for you in general and then telling friends who become pregnant how wonderful that is then they are being quite inconsistent wether they know it or not.

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Old 03-20-2010, 01:47 PM   #18
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Krissmiss, i think its so awsome you are so passionate about it, i agree with you 100 % , i hate it when read what pepole say , the thing i really hate is when pepole say that is so unhealty ...... when they dont even know you ,what buisness is it to them or why do they even care......... good for you sweety .....................
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Old 03-20-2010, 02:40 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by krismiss View Post
I know this has been discussed before, but I feel the need to bring something up. I'm really, really getting tired of people accusing GIRLS that are into feederism of not knowing what they're getting themselves into. I know of a few occasions where people have said extremely hurtful things about me, and friends, regarding our "kinks." It's ridiculous. I know what I'm getting into. I have a very, very obese grandmother and my mother is the same size I am. I see how they live, and I KNOW what I'm doing. There's this... concern... for people like me, from people who have no business voicing concern over me. I'm fine. Whether or not I gain weight, whether or not that gain is on purpose or not, whether or not I find sexual things regarding weight gain is up to ME.

People keep saying that girls who are into feederism are doing it for reasons OTHER THAN the fact that they're genuinely into it.
"She's harming her body for the sake of her paysite."
"She's only gaining weight because that guy wants her to."

It's just not. true. People throw these, and other excuses out ALL THE TIME and I am so. fucking. sick. of it. People that don't even really KNOW the people they're "voicing concern" about... How can you even BE concerned? I think for a lot of people "voicing concern" means "bashing in a passive aggressive manner"

So just... lay the fuck off. Seriously now.


I completely agree...

and I love it when the preaching is so condescending and childish- "Oh you should really think about this"... "I'm worried about your health"... "Ohhhh ohhhh please please be careful!"

The question I have is if these people really think fat, and the obvious weightgain often associated with it, is so horrible what the hell are they doing here at Dimensions?

Apparently these people have accepted the commercial-media's demand on how to think, and are so very ready to harp on anyone else who doesn't conform- for their own good of course.
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Old 03-20-2010, 04:04 PM   #20
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I'm pretty sad that except for thatgirl and tau, there haven't been any other girls posting in this thread (well, except traci but that's not the kind of post i mean)

Where are you, ladies? It'd be nice to prove people wrong. Please, please don't let just pictureless FA's respond in agreement.
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Old 03-20-2010, 09:12 PM   #21
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Where are you, ladies? It'd be nice to prove people wrong. Please, please don't let just pictureless FA's respond in agreement.
What about FAs with pictures?

Also, this.
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Old 03-21-2010, 08:19 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by krismiss View Post
I'm pretty sad that except for thatgirl and tau, there haven't been any other girls posting in this thread (well, except traci but that's not the kind of post i mean)

Where are you, ladies? It'd be nice to prove people wrong. Please, please don't let just pictureless FA's respond in agreement.
Hey! I haz pictures!
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Old 03-21-2010, 08:33 PM   #23
bmann0413
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bmann0413 keeps pushing the rep limit!bmann0413 keeps pushing the rep limit!bmann0413 keeps pushing the rep limit!bmann0413 keeps pushing the rep limit!bmann0413 keeps pushing the rep limit!bmann0413 keeps pushing the rep limit!bmann0413 keeps pushing the rep limit!bmann0413 keeps pushing the rep limit!bmann0413 keeps pushing the rep limit!bmann0413 keeps pushing the rep limit!bmann0413 keeps pushing the rep limit!
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Heeeeeeeeey, I have pictures!
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Old 03-21-2010, 08:56 PM   #24
activistfatgirl
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The only thing that would stop me from voicing my atta girl is the battle-fatigue.

Pro-feminist, pro-gain, yadda yadda. Be careful, have fun, look for places where fetish is mixing with insecurity, talk to people who don't just say "DO IT", but above all, live your female-embodied oh-so-in-the-drivers seat good times.

Big hugs and shit!
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Old 03-21-2010, 09:00 PM   #25
MizzSnakeBite
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Ya know......I might get some flack for this, but I think some people really don't realize how they come across when they're voicing their "concerns." They truly might not be trying to be passive aggressive or anything (while there are quite a few that are very nasty about it). But, you're right, it's your body, your choice to do x, y, z to it. On the flip side, we shouldn't judge people that are wanting to lose weight for whatever reasons they may have. Their body, their choice, and they shouldn't be ostracized for wanting/needing to lose weight.

I think part of it stems from people reaching a certain weight, it disabling them, and they truly do not want you to have to go through that. Not that it's their business, but they might actually be coming from a place of caring. But then when you hear "why gain, you shouldn't gain", etc, etc, etc we can become bitter towards people that actually truly do care.

Either way, your body, your mind, do what you want to do.

On the entire gaining vs. losing weight thing, I think we need to all give each other a break. Each body reacts differently to weight, has different issues (whether they be weight related or not), so we shouldn't judge others on how they treat their bodies because of how ours feel at ____lbs.

Personally, while it does get old, I do try to explain things so that maybe, just maybe they'll see the place where I'm coming from. (and no, I've never told anyone they should gain or lose weight).

Hope this makes some sort of sense. It's been a long day. lol

Edit: When I'm speaking about people voicing their "concerns" and them caring, I'm talking about people you actually know, not some stranger.
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Last edited by MizzSnakeBite; 03-21-2010 at 09:05 PM. Reason: 'cause I want to!
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