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Old 03-22-2010, 06:57 PM   #26
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Berna is a bit reluctant to say what's on her mind, coming off the bash weekend. I however, am not. I'm almost sorry this isn't posted in another forum somewhere here, where more people can see this.

Generally, we're happy campers after an event like the New Jersey Bash. While we were happy with the turnout in a still depressed economy, some things of note took place over the course of the weekend that make me want to add to this list.

For the guys:

1. It's generally known that more women attend these events than men do. You don't need to act like you know that.

2. With regard to the paysite girls, remember that the names that you know are products, not the real people. When you attend a bash, keep in mind that girls become webmodels for many different reasons, not just because they wanted to meet YOU. Many have boyfriends or husbands, and you should respect that in your dealings with them.

3. Why just focus on the paysite girls when there are so many other pretty and nice girls who attend the bashes? Odds are the webmodels probably aren't interested in you, and most of you guys zip past all of these other fine women in hopes that your favorite paysite girl will say hello to you.

4. "Sponsoring" someone for an event doesn't mean that you own her for the weekend. Just because you pay a girl's bash fee, or a hotel room, or airfare, it doesn't mean that they are obligated to you. If that's what you're looking for, you should be up front, so there's no misunderstanding of what your expectations are.

5. Guys who come to these events are here because of a sexual attraction, plain and simple. That sexual attraction should not lead you to think that just because you want to bang/feed/etc..... a woman that she automatically wants to do the same.


For the ladies:

1. If someone offers to "sponsor" you for an event, make sure they understand what YOUR intentions are, as well as determining what theirs are as well. You should have a meeting of the minds before you accept anything from a guy.

2. Some of the nicest guys that I met at the bash got no play from a lot of the women. I never understood this, except to say that I've noticed that a lot of the girls look at nice guys as not very exciting, compared with the players. It's usually a bad choice, and makes the good guys feel like shit.

3. Lots of new guys attended our last event. Ladies, you have an opportunity to shape how these guys act going forward. I realize there's no obligation to "help" them along their FA path, but if you choose not to, don't come complaining to me when they turn into asshats later on.


General Bash Etiquette Rules

1. Drinking is fun. Puke drunk is not. Do the math. Same is true with weed, and other recreational drugs. In private, fine......in public.........well.....................not so much.

2. Treat other people with respect. Over the years we've had women badgered about posing for paysites, women who bury parts of their anatomy in guys faces to get their attention, guys who buy all kinds of shit for girls, then press them for sex. Honestly, I don't need to know what happens when a hotel door closes, but when this stuff goes on during events where the goal is to help create a sense of community, the few hairs left on the back of my neck stand up.

3. Attendance. Showing up at the hotel and staying in your room all weekend does not constitute attending the bash. It's like going to a party and sitting in the corner. If you're going to do this, please don't bother to come.

4. Reservations. It costs a substantial amount of money to run the bash. We don't get the hotel, the DJ, the food, and hotel security for free. We have to give the hotel a count of heads for food, etc. prior to the event that we can guarantee. The hotel caters based on those numbers. If those numbers change, it can be costly. Bumping the numbers up at the last minute causes the hotel to charge us more per head due to the additions. On the other hand, we have to pay for people who say they're coming, and never show up. Case in point, we had a guy who reserved for the dinner on Saturday night who never came. We paid the hotel for his dinner, despite the fact that he wasn't there. I saw him later after the dance, and asked him what happened. He said he fell asleep and missed dinner. That's cool, but today I saw that he had dinner with some friends and simply skipped our dinner and never bothered to tell us. He wasn't the only one. It's costly to us, and makes me want to go to a system where you have to pay for ALL the events whether you attend them or not. We are still the lowest priced bash in the country, and the best value, please don't make us change how we do things, because the end result could potentially be higher bash costs.

5. Hospitality Suite. We had a rash of people who didn't attend any of the weekend itinerary sit in the lobby, and later in the hospitality suite, where they ate and drank at our cost, even though they didn't support our work in any way by actually paying and coming to events. Some people actually broke into the hospitality suite and STOLE snacks and sodas during the dance. One person brought a cheesecake for their friends in the hospitality suite, only to have a few people sneak behind the counter and take the cake without asking. It's rude, and shows a lack of respect for our efforts.




Berna and I work hard to put this together. Some of you have been with us right from the start almost 4 years ago. We appreciate you, and thank you for supporting what we do. It just seemed that at this last event, there was some general disrespect for us, and our efforts based on what I've written above. I realize that a lot of people had to cancel at the last minute this time out because of finances, the recession, personal issues, etc. Those reasons are understandable, and most of you got to us in time to let us know, so we could change the final food counts for the hotel. The problem I have is with the people who never bothered to contact us. It costs us money when that happens, and as much as I love this community, it's never been my intention to lose money because of this community.

Sorry if I'm pissing in everyone's Cheerios a day after the bash is over, but I saw this thread and felt a need to bring it all up.
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Old 03-22-2010, 07:37 PM   #27
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THANK YOU PHIL for hitting the nail on alot of things I wanted to say but well, wasn't sure how to say it without sounding like a snob etc etc
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Old 03-22-2010, 08:06 PM   #28
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1. Drinking is fun. Puke drunk is not. Do the math. Same is true with weed, and other recreational drugs. In private, fine......in public.........well.....................not so much.
And for the record, if it's weed or anything else that has a smell, your hotel room is NOT private. That shit stinks up the halls. Last year I damn near puked while walking down one of the corridors because it was so strong.
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Old 03-22-2010, 08:11 PM   #29
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This is a GOOD one, what's funny is that it's women who are usually most judgmental of people who go to the bash just to fuck.
in my experience yes. i'm sure a fair amount of men think they are whores, but thankfully i don't really know any men.
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Old 03-22-2010, 08:15 PM   #30
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Lots of new guys attended our last event. Ladies, you have an opportunity to shape how these guys act going forward. I realize there's no obligation to "help" them along their FA path, but if you choose not to, don't come complaining to me when they turn into asshats later on.
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Old 03-22-2010, 08:34 PM   #31
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Thumbs up Well put as i ever heard it.

2. Some of the nicest guys that I met at the bash got no play from a lot of the women. I never understood this, except to say that I've noticed that a lot of the girls look at nice guys as not very exciting, compared with the players. It's usually a bad choice, and makes the good guys feel like shit.

Truer words never spoken with this one. Often this is the reason nice guys finish last. Still, not a deterrant for me. Look forward to more posts and parties in the future.
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Old 03-22-2010, 08:58 PM   #32
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2. Some of the nicest guys that I met at the bash got no play from a lot of the women. I never understood this, except to say that I've noticed that a lot of the girls look at nice guys as not very exciting, compared with the players. It's usually a bad choice, and makes the good guys feel like shit.

Truer words never spoken with this one. Often this is the reason nice guys finish last. Still, not a deterrant for me. Look forward to more posts and parties in the future.
This is very true, but I must add, that often the nicest women are often left in the dust too.
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Old 03-22-2010, 09:03 PM   #33
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Which of these nicest women eft in the dust do you speak of? Next time I'm there, I'll ask that you point them out to me so they are no longer left in the dust, provided they are single.
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Old 03-22-2010, 09:14 PM   #34
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Which of these nicest women eft in the dust do you speak of? Next time I'm there, I'll ask that you point them out to me so they are no longer left in the dust, provided they are single.
I wasn't there, I was speaking in general. If littlefairywren was there, I'd drag you to her! She's an Aussie so she won't be there. lol

Just like life, in Dims, often the nice ones are left to the wayside for the more "exciting" ones.
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Old 03-22-2010, 10:36 PM   #35
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2. Some of the nicest guys that I met at the bash got no play from a lot of the women. I never understood this, except to say that I've noticed that a lot of the girls look at nice guys as not very exciting, compared with the players. It's usually a bad choice, and makes the good guys feel like shit.

Truer words never spoken with this one. Often this is the reason nice guys finish last. Still, not a deterrant for me. Look forward to more posts and parties in the future.
HA! I hope you are not trying to apply this to yourself.

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Old 03-22-2010, 11:21 PM   #36
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damn I really really wanted to go to this one but really couldn't swing it

now reading this thread makes me wish I had been able to go twice as much

when's the next one???
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Old 03-22-2010, 11:28 PM   #37
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They happen in the spring and the fall. So probably October.
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Old 03-23-2010, 12:03 AM   #38
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isn't there usually memorial day shiz?
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Old 03-23-2010, 12:50 AM   #39
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isn't there usually memorial day shiz?
Oh yes, that will be one you don't want to miss. Its gonna be a blast!
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Old 03-23-2010, 03:07 AM   #40
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i've already stolen the cake
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Old 03-23-2010, 05:40 AM   #41
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Wait wait wait...I talk to everyone, and the "nice" guys will run you over mid conversation to get to a webmodel. So, its not fair to say that no ones talks to the "nice" guys when the "nice" guys could careless to talk to someone who doesnt take her clothes off for the general public. (This is NOT a derogatory statement towards webmodels)
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Old 03-23-2010, 05:45 AM   #42
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Wait wait wait...I talk to everyone, and the "nice" guys will run you over mid conversation to get to a webmodel. So, its not fair to say that no ones talks to the "nice" guys when the "nice" guys could careless to talk to someone who doesnt take her clothes off for the general public. (This is NOT a derogatory statement towards webmodels)
If they do that, then they wouldn't be "nice", would they?
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Old 03-23-2010, 05:52 AM   #43
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If they do that, then they wouldn't be "nice", would they?
LOL Thats why I keep putting it in quotations. Those are the self proclaimed nice guys who bitch and moan about no one talking to them. What they MEAN is, no one they want to talk to, talks to them.
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Old 03-23-2010, 05:54 AM   #44
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isn't there usually memorial day shiz?
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Oh yes, that will be one you don't want to miss. Its gonna be a blast!
Phil & Berna hold their Spring Weekend (March/April) and Fall Weekend (October) Mini-Bashes in New Jersey.

Heather - Heavenly Bodies host Memorial Weekend (May) and Labor Day Weekend (September) Mini-Bashes in Massachusetts.
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Old 03-23-2010, 05:56 AM   #45
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Phil & Berna hold their Spring Weekend (March/April) and Fall Weekend (October) Mini-Bashes in New Jersey.

Heather - Heavenly Bodies host Memorial Weekend (May) and Labor Day Weekend (September) Mini-Bashes in Massachusetts.
I am sorry...did you say something? I was mesmerized by your lips...they look..so..... kissable
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Old 03-23-2010, 06:03 AM   #46
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Lisa - LMAO.

*innocent whistle*

Ahem.

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Dan - Good job, pointing that out. Yes, I need to start attending HB events again. It's just that I used to spend more time in Dims chat than anywhere else, and more chatters attend the NJ bashes = that's what I go to, since I can only usually afford to attend one every six months or so. If I could afford it, I'd be at everything!!!
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Old 03-23-2010, 06:10 AM   #47
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Originally Posted by LisaInNC View Post
I am sorry...did you say something? I was mesmerized by your lips...they look..so..... kissable
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Originally Posted by BigBeautifulMe View Post
Lisa - LMAO.

*innocent whistle*

Ahem.

...snip...
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You both need to...(don't) stop!!!
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Old 03-23-2010, 06:20 AM   #48
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toni has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!toni has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!toni has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!toni has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!toni has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!toni has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!toni has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!toni has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!toni has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!toni has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!toni has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
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LOL Thats why I keep putting it in quotations. Those are the self proclaimed nice guys who bitch and moan about no one talking to them. What they MEAN is, no one they want to talk to, talks to them.
EXACTLY!!!!
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Old 03-23-2010, 06:22 AM   #49
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And Lisa, I'd have to agree with what Toni quoted above. That's happened to me more than once. Doesn't matter how pretty you are, if you don't have a site, forget it. Of course, on the flip side, it must be frustrating being a paysite model and not being able to just relax and enjoy yourself with your friends without 80,000 guys coming up to you and hitting on you solely because they like the person you *seem to be* on your paysite.
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"I just think your culinary choices could use more death of sentient creatures. Is that so wrong?" - Mini

-Rosebud- I am imagining how lovely it would be to see your golden hair rising up over my belly when you are between my thighs
-Rosebud- Like a cunnilingus sunrise
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Old 03-23-2010, 07:09 AM   #50
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First of all, Phil, thanks so much to you and Berna for such a fun event. This was my second bash and I'm already looking forward to the next.

I agree with all your points and wanted to add my 2 cents even though I'm a relative newbie.

Some of the men made it extremely obvious that they were on the prowl for sex... that whole "fat girls are desperate" vibe. YUCK!!! I was even told about one who was so sure about scoring that he didn't bother to get room and wound up roaming the hallways during the wee hours of Saturday morning looking for a place to crash.

As for respect.... absolute key! Maybe some would consider me a prude but I don't want to see things going on in public places like the pool that should be done behind closed doors. Again, YUCK!!! I wonder if that's why it smelled like the hotel put more chlorine in the water than usual, to kill whatever was going to float around in there.
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