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Old 03-21-2010, 06:40 PM   #1
Naugahyde
 
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Naugahyde has said some nice things
Default My boyfriend is a feeder, but I am not a gainer.

We've been together for a short while now, but I've felt a very strong connection and love for my boyfriend. I love him for everything that he is, good and bad, and only want the best for him. The one thing that has caused a major chasm in our relationship is his feeder fetish. Hearing it from him after admitting that I had a fear of becoming obese, was the first that I had ever heard of this kind of fetish. Since then, I've tried to understand the fetish, and thus I am here because I care. The thing is, I am not a gainer. It's just not who I am. I come from an active background in sports and dancing. I lead a hectic, leadership-based life. It has caused him extreme anxiety that I am not okay with gaining weight. I am 5'2" and 130 lbs. I do enjoy food quite a lot though, so from time to time, I am fine with him stuffing me because I've found that it's sexually pleasing. I've meditated long and hard on possibly being a gainer, and I even tried it for a short while. But every time I feel like I am gaining weight, I feel an extreme dread and guilt because I feel like I am denying myself.

I guess I am on here to ask for some feed back. I don't think I am in the wrong to want to stick to who I am as a person. But is there anything more that I could do besides gain weight?
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Old 06-15-2010, 11:11 AM   #2
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Wow Naugahyde, I am shocked that no-one here has even replied to your message. Then again, I'm not *that* shocked. You may be in the wrong place for your concern as this is a PRO feeding/gaining board. But anyway, I will chime in and say that you should do what's right FOR YOU. And your boyfriend should love you for YOU.

In terms of "other things you can do" - From what I've learnt on the topic, you could paricipate in feederism with him THROUGH FANTASY if you don't actually want to gain weight. You can allow him to playfully feed you (every now and then) if that turns him on. And you can definately "role play" during sex/foreplay ("ooooh, you're making so fat") [or whatever turns his crank]. Being open to such fantasizes and "playing with it" is calorie-free but should still allow him to enjoy his fetish IF you are comfortable with it. That being said, he should also be able to indulge YOUR fantasies too, whatever they may be!

That's my two cents of sense..... Good luck!
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Old 06-15-2010, 03:48 PM   #3
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Quote:
But is there anything more that I could do besides gain weight?
I'd ask him that question. You've made it clear what your limits are, and that gaining isn't an option, so he'd be the first person to know if there was something else you could do.

Fantasy play and shirt-stuffing/clothes padding might be something that could work as a gaining-substitute.

I'm curious as to why this causes him so much anxiety. You've already evidenced that you're willing to try new things and eager to please.
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Originally Posted by exile in thighville View Post
all we ask is that those without fetishes respect the notion that the vast majority of fetish-havers know how to reconcile their kink with the dangers of reality just as you would assume your next door neighbor is not a pedophile.
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Old 06-15-2010, 06:36 PM   #4
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Definitely don't fully go along with his fantasy if it makes you uncomfortable. It's your body and he should respect that. That said, the earlier replies I think have provided sound advice. You can play along with some feeding now and then without having to put on weight. It really depends on what excites him though.
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Old 06-18-2010, 12:18 AM   #5
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I think you should tell him how you feel if you haven't thus far
If this is a deal breaker for him than you might as well know right away.
I have a friends whose ex was like " I could never go without threesomes" this is someone who he wanted to marry and have children with!
wtf? really? One sexual act/fantasy trumps your love?
I think it's really petty and immature.

If you are okay with playing with the fantasy... then do just that.. fluctuating 10 lbs is quite normal for non feeding women so maybe just play it up a bit?

If you can't that's okay you do not have to change your limits... they are just as valid and important as any fantasy he has.
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Old 06-19-2010, 04:30 PM   #6
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In my opinion the crux of this issue is that even though you are in a committed relationship it is still your body and therefore your decision what you will do with it. If gaining weight makes you uncomfortable I do not think that you should put yourself through that in order to allow someone else sexual gratification.
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Old 06-19-2010, 04:55 PM   #7
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Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
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Great advice so far.
Talking will always help, let him know EXACTLY how you feel.
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Old 06-19-2010, 06:33 PM   #8
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i mean you're doing everything right so just keep doing it. both of you sound conscious not push each other's anxiety on the other and you're still interested in gratifying the fetish. when it reaches a point where you need to say no, you say no. it doesn't really sound like you've had to.

the best feedergasms are like 90% talking and body language, like playing a role. if you can convince him you want what he wants when it's time to fuck, then there's no need to worry about engaging in something more permanent like weightgain between sex sessions.

Last edited by exile in thighville; 06-19-2010 at 06:36 PM.
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