Dimensions Forums  
Home Register Premium Membership Stories Ye Olde Library Health Issues Market Place Big Fashion

Go Back   Dimensions Forums > Discussion > BHM/FFA



Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 06-10-2014, 04:33 AM   #51
Anjula
miss wonderfulamazing
 
Anjula's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Poland
Posts: 1,031
Anjula has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Anjula has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Anjula has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Anjula has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Anjula has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Anjula has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Anjula has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Anjula has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Anjula has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Anjula has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Anjula has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

I recently met a football player that seriously knocked me off my feet. He has the typical OL build when it comes to shoulders, arms, legs, butt but he's belly...oh my lord. Its the most squishy thing I've ever seen. After one game, I went to the lockers area to meet up with my boyfriend and this guy was sitting there in just his sleeveless undershirt, all sweaty because of the game they just played, his tummy and boobs were completely visible because the material was all wet, he was spilling from his tight pants, this gorgeous mass of his belly covering most of his thighs, his arms so lovingly big and soft and oh my god I fucking stare at him with my jaw on the ground, I haven't even notice my boyfriend and my best friend had to literally drag me out of there because I couldn't move. I'm pretty sure I've left a wet floor. seriously


the point of this post is I LOVE THEM SOFT but with a nice muscle definition.
__________________
www.biijacz.tumblr.com
Anjula is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2014, 04:45 AM   #52
loopytheone
Administrator
 
loopytheone's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Robinhoodland
Posts: 3,350
loopytheone has ascended what used to be the highest level.loopytheone has ascended what used to be the highest level.loopytheone has ascended what used to be the highest level.loopytheone has ascended what used to be the highest level.loopytheone has ascended what used to be the highest level.loopytheone has ascended what used to be the highest level.loopytheone has ascended what used to be the highest level.loopytheone has ascended what used to be the highest level.loopytheone has ascended what used to be the highest level.loopytheone has ascended what used to be the highest level.loopytheone has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Interesting topic!

I like soft guys! I want to be able to squeeze you in my arms and just sink in!
loopytheone is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2014, 05:03 PM   #53
bayone
 
bayone's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 385
bayone is a pillar of the Dimensions communitybayone is a pillar of the Dimensions communitybayone is a pillar of the Dimensions communitybayone is a pillar of the Dimensions communitybayone is a pillar of the Dimensions communitybayone is a pillar of the Dimensions communitybayone is a pillar of the Dimensions communitybayone is a pillar of the Dimensions communitybayone is a pillar of the Dimensions communitybayone is a pillar of the Dimensions communitybayone is a pillar of the Dimensions community
Default

Interesting question. I think for me it starts with a preference for a round face; and then, wanting face and body to be proportionate to each other.

ETA -- trying to articulate this better -- there's a SSBHM on my morning commute who'd be cute if he didn't have an unflattering moustache; but the guy who really fascinates me is the BHM I see some mornings, usually with his wife and daughter; he has a wonderfully chubby face, with a strong but soft chin, heavy-lidded eyes with long sandy lashes, and generally handsome and well-proportioned features. He looks like a neoclassical angel.

Last edited by bayone; 06-10-2014 at 05:21 PM. Reason: additional comment
bayone is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2014, 05:31 PM   #54
Amaranthine
Adamant Anti-Nihilist
 
Amaranthine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 1,437
Amaranthine keeps pushing the rep limit!Amaranthine keeps pushing the rep limit!Amaranthine keeps pushing the rep limit!Amaranthine keeps pushing the rep limit!Amaranthine keeps pushing the rep limit!Amaranthine keeps pushing the rep limit!Amaranthine keeps pushing the rep limit!Amaranthine keeps pushing the rep limit!Amaranthine keeps pushing the rep limit!Amaranthine keeps pushing the rep limit!Amaranthine keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Definitely soft - curvy - well-proportioned. If a guy with a bit of a jiggle to his walk crosses my path, my day is made. I maybe kind of like pushing my face into the stretchmarkiest places, because they're so soft and comfortable
__________________
"A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved."
Amaranthine is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2014, 05:32 PM   #55
Anjula
miss wonderfulamazing
 
Anjula's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Poland
Posts: 1,031
Anjula has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Anjula has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Anjula has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Anjula has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Anjula has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Anjula has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Anjula has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Anjula has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Anjula has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Anjula has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Anjula has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amaranthine View Post
Definitely soft - curvy - well-proportioned. If a guy with a bit of a jiggle to his walk crosses my path, my day is made. I maybe kind of like pushing my face into the stretchmarkiest places, because they're so soft and comfortable
amen
__________________
www.biijacz.tumblr.com
Anjula is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2014, 05:44 PM   #56
biglynch
 
biglynch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Luton and London
Posts: 1,322
biglynch has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!biglynch has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!biglynch has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!biglynch has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!biglynch has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!biglynch has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!biglynch has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!biglynch has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!biglynch has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!biglynch has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!biglynch has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Unhappy

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amaranthine View Post
Definitely soft - curvy - well-proportioned. If a guy with a bit of a jiggle to his walk crosses my path, my day is made. I maybe kind of like pushing my face into the [B]stretchmarkiest/B] places, because they're so soft and comfortable
Stretchmarkiest is my new favourite word. I shall be using on a daily basis.
biglynch is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2014, 05:47 PM   #57
lille
 
lille's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: TX
Posts: 1,131
lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amaranthine View Post
I maybe kind of like pushing my face into the stretchmarkiest places, because they're so soft and comfortable
Oh my goodness, yes. I love nuzzling into my boyfriend's tummy so my entire face sinks in.
lille is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2014, 08:43 PM   #58
ODFFA
Ainsi sera...
 
ODFFA's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: The country below Nambia
Posts: 1,277
ODFFA keeps pushing the rep limit!ODFFA keeps pushing the rep limit!ODFFA keeps pushing the rep limit!ODFFA keeps pushing the rep limit!ODFFA keeps pushing the rep limit!ODFFA keeps pushing the rep limit!ODFFA keeps pushing the rep limit!ODFFA keeps pushing the rep limit!ODFFA keeps pushing the rep limit!ODFFA keeps pushing the rep limit!ODFFA keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by biglynch View Post
Stretchmarkiest is my new favourite word. I shall be using on a daily basis.
You and me both.

I vote soft too. I love silly little things like playing the anticipatory mind game of having my hand rest very lightly on the belly, knowing that it'll give way to my fingers if I pressed just a little more firmly. There's also the fact that a soft belly does the most beautiful things when laughter occurs And yes, face-burying and belly kissing. Yes.
__________________
...Groigne qui groigne.
ODFFA is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2014, 11:17 PM   #59
bigmac
 
bigmac's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Redwood Coast
Posts: 10,364
bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Everyone's here is voting for soft -- unfortunately IRL soft fat guys get very little play.
bigmac is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2014, 12:04 AM   #60
Lil BigginZ
just a NORML guy
 
Lil BigginZ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Fullerton, NE
Posts: 1,199
Lil BigginZ has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Lil BigginZ has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Lil BigginZ has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Lil BigginZ has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Lil BigginZ has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Lil BigginZ has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Lil BigginZ has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Lil BigginZ has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Lil BigginZ has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Lil BigginZ has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Lil BigginZ has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by bigmac View Post
Everyone's here is voting for soft -- unfortunately IRL soft fat guys get very little play.
Not with that way of thinking.
__________________
facebook
Never say no to a panda

Last edited by Lil BigginZ; 06-11-2014 at 12:14 AM.
Lil BigginZ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2014, 06:36 AM   #61
ODFFA
Ainsi sera...
 
ODFFA's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: The country below Nambia
Posts: 1,277
ODFFA keeps pushing the rep limit!ODFFA keeps pushing the rep limit!ODFFA keeps pushing the rep limit!ODFFA keeps pushing the rep limit!ODFFA keeps pushing the rep limit!ODFFA keeps pushing the rep limit!ODFFA keeps pushing the rep limit!ODFFA keeps pushing the rep limit!ODFFA keeps pushing the rep limit!ODFFA keeps pushing the rep limit!ODFFA keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by bigmac View Post
Everyone's here is voting for soft -- unfortunately IRL soft fat guys get very little play.
So, are we liars or just not real?

I absolutely get that society sucks and that most women are unlikely to be forthcoming about any fat attractions they might have. Which is a ridiculously unfortunate dating strategy. I understand it's difficult. I truly, truly do. And it pisses me off to no end. But, here we were, bantering away very happily and openly, and - to put it the nicest way I possibly can - you might want to rethink ^ this approach of.......having a toilet in your kitchen.





__________________
...Groigne qui groigne.
ODFFA is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2014, 06:47 AM   #62
Esther
Queen Black Acid
 
Esther's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,057
Esther has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Esther has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Esther has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Esther has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Esther has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Esther has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Esther has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Esther has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Esther has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Esther has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Esther has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lil BigginZ View Post
Not with that way of thinking.
This.

I'll get with soft guys, muscly guys, thick, firm, alllll over the board.

What I can't do is someone who won't let me get near them. How can you like someone if they won't believe you like them?
Esther is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2014, 06:53 AM   #63
lille
 
lille's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: TX
Posts: 1,131
lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Esther View Post
This.

I'll get with soft guys, muscly guys, thick, firm, alllll over the board.

What I can't do is someone who won't let me get near them. How can you like someone if they won't believe you like them?
Exactly. While I adore my boyfriend's body, I also love his confidence and charisma. He assumes people are going to like him, and they do. I'm the first person he's been with to have a definite thing for fat, but he's had no problem finding relationships. The man who thinks he'll succeed and the man who think's he'll fail are usually both right.
lille is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2014, 06:59 AM   #64
tankyguy
 
tankyguy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: NS Canada
Posts: 519
tankyguy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!tankyguy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!tankyguy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!tankyguy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!tankyguy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!tankyguy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!tankyguy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!tankyguy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!tankyguy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!tankyguy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!tankyguy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ODFFA View Post
So, are we liars or just not real?
As a group, you're special and not as common as I'd like.
tankyguy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2014, 07:25 AM   #65
ODFFA
Ainsi sera...
 
ODFFA's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: The country below Nambia
Posts: 1,277
ODFFA keeps pushing the rep limit!ODFFA keeps pushing the rep limit!ODFFA keeps pushing the rep limit!ODFFA keeps pushing the rep limit!ODFFA keeps pushing the rep limit!ODFFA keeps pushing the rep limit!ODFFA keeps pushing the rep limit!ODFFA keeps pushing the rep limit!ODFFA keeps pushing the rep limit!ODFFA keeps pushing the rep limit!ODFFA keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by tankyguy View Post
As a group, you're special and not as common as I'd like.
^_^
I'm going to hazard a guess we're a little more common than most would think, but especially in terms of being vocal about things, I completely agree with you. I would have loved to be able to freely ramble about soft bellies on any ol' forum and not have anyone bat an eye.

Well, actually, speaking of...... I can report with pleasant surprise that I have not yet had one person send me a message on OKC, asking if I'm crazy for being openly attracted to BHMs. People have been lovely about it, on there and 'IRL.'
__________________
...Groigne qui groigne.
ODFFA is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2014, 07:30 AM   #66
lille
 
lille's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: TX
Posts: 1,131
lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

I realized I never actually answered the question. I prefer soft to somewhere in between.
lille is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2014, 08:03 AM   #67
Lil BigginZ
just a NORML guy
 
Lil BigginZ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Fullerton, NE
Posts: 1,199
Lil BigginZ has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Lil BigginZ has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Lil BigginZ has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Lil BigginZ has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Lil BigginZ has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Lil BigginZ has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Lil BigginZ has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Lil BigginZ has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Lil BigginZ has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Lil BigginZ has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Lil BigginZ has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

If you go around thinking you're never going to get with someone because you're big then you probably wont. From my experiences girls don't really enjoy the 'woe is me' card, so have some confidence in yourself. Confidence is sexy.
__________________
facebook
Never say no to a panda
Lil BigginZ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2014, 08:12 AM   #68
Esther
Queen Black Acid
 
Esther's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,057
Esther has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Esther has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Esther has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Esther has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Esther has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Esther has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Esther has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Esther has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Esther has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Esther has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Esther has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by lille View Post
Exactly. While I adore my boyfriend's body, I also love his confidence and charisma. He assumes people are going to like him, and they do. I'm the first person he's been with to have a definite thing for fat, but he's had no problem finding relationships. The man who thinks he'll succeed and the man who think's he'll fail are usually both right.
My boyfriend is the same way. He is irresistibly charming, and everyone loves him because he loves himself.
Esther is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2014, 09:12 AM   #69
biglynch
 
biglynch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Luton and London
Posts: 1,322
biglynch has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!biglynch has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!biglynch has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!biglynch has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!biglynch has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!biglynch has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!biglynch has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!biglynch has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!biglynch has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!biglynch has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!biglynch has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by bigmac View Post
Everyone's here is voting for soft -- unfortunately IRL soft fat guys get very little play.
Speak for yourself buddy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lil BigginZ View Post
If you go around thinking you're never going to get with someone because you're big then you probably wont. From my experiences girls don't really enjoy the 'woe is me' card, so have some confidence in yourself. Confidence is sexy.
Agreed.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ODFFA View Post
So, are we liars or just not real?

I absolutely get that society sucks and that most women are unlikely to be forthcoming about any fat attractions they might have. Which is a ridiculously unfortunate dating strategy. I understand it's difficult. I truly, truly do. And it pisses me off to no end. But, here we were, bantering away very happily and openly, and - to put it the nicest way I possibly can - you might want to rethink ^ this approach of.......having a toilet in your kitchen.
And agreed.
biglynch is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2014, 09:34 AM   #70
Tad
mostly harmless
 
Tad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,428
Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Regarding BigMac's post, let me invoke Miller's Law. Roughly "To understand what another person is saying, you must assume that it is true and try to imagine what it could be true of." (Of course, you could just decide that the person is a raving lunatic or that for some reason their experiences are completely invalid, but I like to hope that people would rather understand).

Whatever else BigMac may be, I don't think he is a liar or delirious, so I'll accept that this has been his experience.

One explanation is what has been suggested here: that if you don't expect success, you are not apt to find it. But with that one there is a chicken and egg question, why would you start off not expecting success? To me that suggests that his resigned tone comes after experiencing this.

Now, there are all sorts of possible reasons for that experience, but he knows that, he is a lawyer, he's used to looking at evidence I would think. But I'll extend the benefit of the doubt and say that he's looked at this fairly hard, from different angles, and still come to this observation as what best matches his experience and observation.

Now, the original question was:
Quote:
What kind of build do you prefer they have: Solid like an NFL lineman, soft like bowl full of jello, or in between that
To this I'd totally echo BigMac's comment. Be it on boards like this or even out and about in more general society, finding women who like guys who are BIG (tall, muscular, broad shouldered.....but also with some weight on them) isn't all that uncommon. I suspect that if you gather a dozen random women, get a few drinks into them, and then asked who liked the linebacker or burly lumberjack look, you'd get one or two who say it was yummy. It may not be that popular, but it is certainly out there, and wouldn't raise that many eyebrows I suspect.

I've never heard/seen a woman say she preferred the bowl full of jelly look except on sites like this, and even then it has been far from universal (vs the linebacker, etc). There are certainly women who like it, but it does not surprise me in the least to see that someone's experience is that they are hard to find.

Certainly if someone is fat, single, and wants a girfriend, and does not have a strong personal preference for being soft or for having the gf be attracted to their softness and jiggliness, I'd absolutely advice them to start doing weights and build up as much muscle as they could, as I strongly suspect that would increase the number of women who would be interested in them.

Of course, that there are some who like soft is one of the reasons I keep hanging around this place. I totally love hearing the FFA view of the world
__________________
Criticism is so often nothing more than the eye garrulously denouncing the shape of the peephole that gives access to hidden treasure.
-Djuna Barnes, writer and artist
Tad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2014, 10:01 AM   #71
loopytheone
Administrator
 
loopytheone's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Robinhoodland
Posts: 3,350
loopytheone has ascended what used to be the highest level.loopytheone has ascended what used to be the highest level.loopytheone has ascended what used to be the highest level.loopytheone has ascended what used to be the highest level.loopytheone has ascended what used to be the highest level.loopytheone has ascended what used to be the highest level.loopytheone has ascended what used to be the highest level.loopytheone has ascended what used to be the highest level.loopytheone has ascended what used to be the highest level.loopytheone has ascended what used to be the highest level.loopytheone has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lil BigginZ View Post
Not with that way of thinking.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ODFFA View Post
So, are we liars or just not real?

I absolutely get that society sucks and that most women are unlikely to be forthcoming about any fat attractions they might have. Which is a ridiculously unfortunate dating strategy. I understand it's difficult. I truly, truly do. And it pisses me off to no end. But, here we were, bantering away very happily and openly, and - to put it the nicest way I possibly can - you might want to rethink ^ this approach of.......having a toilet in your kitchen.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lille View Post
Exactly. While I adore my boyfriend's body, I also love his confidence and charisma. He assumes people are going to like him, and they do. I'm the first person he's been with to have a definite thing for fat, but he's had no problem finding relationships. The man who thinks he'll succeed and the man who think's he'll fail are usually both right.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lil BigginZ View Post
If you go around thinking you're never going to get with someone because you're big then you probably wont. From my experiences girls don't really enjoy the 'woe is me' card, so have some confidence in yourself. Confidence is sexy.
I absolutely agree with all of these. One of the things that frustrates me with men and women of all sizes is that attitude of 'I'll never get a man/woman to like be because of x'. Guess what, there are people out there who like everything. And all of us FFAs that have just explained we prefer softer men do live in the real world to, we are real people who are out there fancying those soft men for real.

When I was a most unpopular teenager my mother used to explain something to me. She told me that for every person that comes up to me and expresses an interest in me there are ten more who are just as interested or think I am just as cute/funny/smart but they just don't choose to approach me, for whatever reason. I mean, I don't go about hitting on every single soft, big man I see but that doesn't mean that I don't find most of them attractive. Reasons for not hitting on them include: I am in a relationship; they are in a relationship; they are having fun with a bunch of mates and I don't like walking up to groups of random men; I am out with my friends and more interested in talking to them; the guy looks like he has a loud/arrogant/boring/racist/sexist/self-pitying attitude and isn't the type of person I'd want to hang around with; the guy is ugly; the guy is old enough to be my dad or young enough to be taught by me. So say there are ten women in the room who, like me, think this guy is attractive... well, we aren't all going to go over there and in fact none of us might. That doesn't mean that nobody thinks he attractive, just that a lower proportion of the population do so whilst he is likely getting admiring glances and thoughts he might not be getting people come over to him just out of sheer numbers/probability. Just one way of thinking about it. Not to mention that a lot of guys that are bigger tend not to go out as much so are around women less.

I've been told by people so many times before that nobody will find me attractive unless I wear makeup/'act like a girl'/wear tight clothes/smile more/wear perfume and for a long time I thought they must be right and true to my thoughts, nobody ever approached me. Then I thought screw this, I am amazing and awesome and somebody else will see that without me changing anything, even if I have wait for years and years to find somebody who thinks a weirdo like me is attractive. And you know what? Without changing anything I started getting hit on a lot. Your attitude does make a huuuge difference, as everybody above has put.
loopytheone is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2014, 10:18 AM   #72
tankyguy
 
tankyguy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: NS Canada
Posts: 519
tankyguy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!tankyguy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!tankyguy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!tankyguy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!tankyguy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!tankyguy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!tankyguy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!tankyguy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!tankyguy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!tankyguy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!tankyguy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Re: confidence, self-defeating attitudes; it's a complicated subject.

Most fat/obese guys are probably going to have body issues if they grew up large. I don't think it's possible in this culture to not have that baggage.

The image of the fat, bespectacled neckbeard geek is our cultural shorthand for an undesirable male.

But it's up to the individual to deal with their baggage and prevent it from getting between them and potential happiness. Sometimes that means faking confidence and optimism until you can make it genuine.

One may never find an available, compatible woman who's into "the bowl full of jelly look". That's the hard truth.

But you definitely won't find one by acting like a perpetual sad sack. That's also the truth.
tankyguy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2014, 10:21 AM   #73
WhiteHotRazor
Time Travelling
 
WhiteHotRazor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Illinois
Posts: 1,134
WhiteHotRazor has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!WhiteHotRazor has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!WhiteHotRazor has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!WhiteHotRazor has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!WhiteHotRazor has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!WhiteHotRazor has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!WhiteHotRazor has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!WhiteHotRazor has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!WhiteHotRazor has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!WhiteHotRazor has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!WhiteHotRazor has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Linebacker is really a bad term for a big guy these days most linebackers are shredded and run 40 yard dashes in the mid to high 4 second range. Just sayin haha.

I fall into the lumberjack category or maybe a offensive lineman that wasn't tall enough or possibly a college fullback. I've never had a problem with women ever, well Maybe in middle school or Highschool when every girl wanted to date a guy that looked like they were in a boy band, that shit doesn't really count though. People don't even really know what they want at that age.

Confidence and sense of humor go a long way and also not being their "funny fat friend" who's always there for them, fuck that shit. You put yourself into that doting bullshit category and that's how they'll always look at you.

If you're sitting around constantly thinking that your size is an issue than it will be to others as well.
WhiteHotRazor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2014, 01:09 PM   #74
Tad
mostly harmless
 
Tad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,428
Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by WhiteHotRazor View Post
Linebacker is really a bad term for a big guy these days most linebackers are shredded and run 40 yard dashes in the mid to high 4 second range. Just sayin haha.
Ack, I was never good at football positions. Meant Offensive Lineman, not Linebacker, sorry.
__________________
Criticism is so often nothing more than the eye garrulously denouncing the shape of the peephole that gives access to hidden treasure.
-Djuna Barnes, writer and artist
Tad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2014, 03:32 PM   #75
Sasquatch!
A wild loser appeared!
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Cardiff
Posts: 3,068
Sasquatch! has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Sasquatch! has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Sasquatch! has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Sasquatch! has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Sasquatch! has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Sasquatch! has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Sasquatch! has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Sasquatch! has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Sasquatch! has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Sasquatch! has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Sasquatch! has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

I think both of sides of the argument are wrong.

Yes, "Woe is me" puts women off.
However simply being confident doesn't get you women. I'd hope women would give themselves slightly more credit than that, too.

And it's all well and good posting photos of famous fat men who've got women partners. They're famous and quite well off, which makes them far less socially undesirable.

Be confident, that's vital. But claiming that's the one thing keeping fat men from successful dating is unhelpful for both women and men.
__________________
--Breaking British--
Sasquatch! is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:02 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright Dimensions Magazine. All rights reserved worldwide.