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Old 04-19-2010, 07:41 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by CastingPearls View Post
My self-esteem basically translates to everyone should worship me.

I refused to date anyone who wouldn't love every inch of me. That was and is non-negotiable.

Spouse has always been an out FA. He's gotten a lot of crap for it and as passive as he is, he is unrepentantly a lover of fat women. I deeply respect that. His first wife had no self confidence and was so full of self-loathing it contaminated every single aspect of their marriage. It was over in less than a year, and that included counseling.
well I bet your spouse is a lucky man having someone as confident and proud of themselves as you
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Old 04-19-2010, 08:48 PM   #27
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I think the problem might be that they think you only like them for their size.

If i meet a girl that has nice "bits" I dont comment on them. My advice would be to get to know them and make less sexual compliments hehe.

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Old 04-19-2010, 09:01 PM   #28
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Originally Posted by fiddypence View Post
It's true that everyone has some degree of insecurity. It's very frustrating when you really like someone for something that they hate about themselves.

I just want people to come on here and say that it did work for them eventually.
Go to the BBW forum and experience truly confident fat women.
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Old 05-28-2010, 01:50 AM   #29
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From the perspective of a girl with low self esteem:

I've been fat my entire life. I've been trained by media and my environment, and my self image that I am not attractive, and no guy would ever be into me. I'm "pretty", outgoing, and have tons of fun with guys. But in the rare situations where I think a guy might be into me, I go in shock. I just want to run away and hide. I assume that most guys I meet aren't into me, and I can be my normal fun self, but if I get that vibe I instantly become super self conscious. There are several reasons for this, but a large part of it is that I just don't have experience in relating to men as a possible mate. There's also a trust issue going on, where I hate myself and I'm fat and ugly, so what kind of person are you to find me attractive without knowing anything about me. Also, in terms of dating, a fat girl (like me at least) with low self worth and thinks her body is disgusting has to build up some worth with other qualities. I coped with my issues by being confident in my character, in being funny, kind, empathetic, smart etc. So if a guy comes up to me and starts flirting (we know how most men relate to us so when a guy actually shows interest, we KNOW it) I'm almost offended, like "I would never want to date a guy that wants to get to know me based soley off my looks." So long story short, being overweight and having low self esteem comes with all sorts of defense mechanisms and hurdles that could only be revealed in a dating relationship.

My one solid statement of advice is, be friends first. Don't show her any other intentions than just being friends and hanging out, and slowly crawl into it. That, and get her really drunk.

I know there are a lot of confident ladies here, and I am only speaking from the perspective of a fat girl with low self esteem.
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Old 05-28-2010, 02:21 AM   #30
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When I've been approached in public by a stranger who is hitting on me. I feel like a spider crawling up a white wall and someone just turned on the light. I hang there....completely vulnerable to your shoe or newspaper, but hope I blend into the plaster.



Just because a girl has low self-esteem doesn't mean she isn't worth getting to know. It just depends on how deep the level of self-loathing goes.
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Old 05-28-2010, 07:14 AM   #31
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Originally Posted by fiddypence View Post
Ok this may be somewhat unfocused but I'll do my best. As a single FA/feeder I find it quite difficult to find women. I used to think the difficulty would be a feedee. Now I've come to realize that I can be happy leaving my fantasies as fantasies. My issue now is that I often find that larger girls often seem to have lower self esteem and especially don't like when someone makes a big deal (or even a small deal) about their size, even if its positive.
(I like to think that most of the women on this site don't have that problem, god bless you all).

Does anyone else find this?
Yeah, some BBWs really don't like being big.

I'd say someone's attitude to their own body is at least as important, in the whole to-date-or-not decision, as whether or not you find them to be hott...

Having dated BBWs who were positive
or mostly happy/okay
or even open-to-being-okay with being fat...
Vs.
Having dated BBWs who hated being fat...

I'd definitely recommend holding out for a girl with the former^ body positive or neutral attitudes...
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Old 05-28-2010, 07:31 AM   #32
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Originally Posted by amygo View Post
From the perspective of a girl with low self esteem:

I've been fat my entire life. I've been trained by media and my environment, and my self image that I am not attractive, and no guy would ever be into me. I'm "pretty", outgoing, and have tons of fun with guys. But in the rare situations where I think a guy might be into me, I go in shock. I just want to run away and hide. I assume that most guys I meet aren't into me, and I can be my normal fun self, but if I get that vibe I instantly become super self conscious. There are several reasons for this, but a large part of it is that I just don't have experience in relating to men as a possible mate.
Practice! It's the way forward.

Quote:
There's also a trust issue going on, where I hate myself and I'm fat and ugly, so what kind of person are you to find me attractive without knowing anything about me. Also, in terms of dating, a fat girl (like me at least) with low self worth and thinks her body is disgusting has to build up some worth with other qualities. I coped with my issues by being confident in my character, in being funny, kind, empathetic, smart etc. So if a guy comes up to me and starts flirting (we know how most men relate to us so when a guy actually shows interest, we KNOW it) I'm almost offended, like "I would never want to date a guy that wants to get to know me based soley off my looks." So long story short, being overweight and having low self esteem comes with all sorts of defense mechanisms and hurdles that could only be revealed in a dating relationship.

My one solid statement of advice is, be friends first. Don't show her any other intentions than just being friends and hanging out, and slowly crawl into it. That, and get her really drunk.

I know there are a lot of confident ladies here, and I am only speaking from the perspective of a fat girl with low self esteem.
Gosh.

That last bit about showing no dating intentions and just "crawling" into it:

Is pretty much the definition of the inappropriately named "nice guy" we've seen so often rightly villified on here. And "get her really drunk" = out and out creepy. At best following this advice I reckon you'll end up in the frustrating "friend-zone" at worst - arrested / restraining order.

I'd rather know up front / early-ish in dating a girl that she thinks:
"I hate myself so what kind of person are you to find me attractive"
Cos who wants to date someone who despises you? ...for being attracted to them (or otherwise)...

And sure, you don't have to go straight in with some hardcore pervmongering... But y'know at an appropriate moment during conversation on a date something along the lines of "You know what? I'm having a great time this evening... You're pretty and fun.... and you have a great body!" or suchlike... should make it pretty clear where you stand....

And if that causes the girl's head to explode and her to run in fear, calling you a pervert?
Well, you've done well to find that out BEFORE either of you become too emotionally invested in one another.... IMO
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Old 05-29-2010, 01:27 AM   #33
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It's very frustrating when you really like someone for something that they hate about themselves.
It is indeed, and in fact it affects me as an FA as well. As an FA, I like touching the soft parts of a woman's body, but if they would hate those parts, I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that and thus withholding myself some aspects of my sexuality.

As an FA, you can have a very positive influence on a woman's self confidence though. I have been dating a woman who wasn't confident at all. She had low self esteem, not just about her body, but about herself as a person as well. I told her that her size is nothing to be ashamed about, that there are many men who like bigger women, I introduced her to some size acceptance forums and I helped her breaking out of her shell, not only as a BBW, but also as a person. Now she is much more confident. Of course this did not come overnight, it took a lot of talking, positive reinforcement and time.

I think that deep inside she isn't very confident yet (but hey, Rome wasn't built in a day!), and that's why I am still refraining a bit from touching her soft parts too much, but she is very open to me being an FA.
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Old 06-02-2010, 02:12 PM   #34
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To me it is simple. If a guy asks me out I assume that he is attracted to me and that includes my giggly bits. I personally would not want to date someone that I was not physically attractive vice versa. Who wants to be in a relationship where the person they are with likes them except for one very big part of them... not me that's for sure.

Do I expect a guy to act appropriate and not be creepy. Hell yeah I do. But I also expect to be touched on more than just my arms and face when the occasion arises. If a guy wants to touch my tummy and say that he likes the way I look and that includes my size that is awesome. I kind of expect it b.c it would happen within a normal size relationship except for the opposite reason. Sometimes we read to much into the whole FA/BBW aspect of the relationship instead of just treating it like what it is a relationship plain and simple.

As far as poor self esteem goes I know women from size 2 to 32 who all have issue with their bodies. It has a lot to do with what is out in the media and being told the way you are is not good enough. A lot of girls also get the message from their parents and those around them. It is very hard to get over being told you are not good enough for the majority of your life.

Its a problem for a lot of women and I personally do not think you can rely on others for change, it is called "self" esteem for a reason. I have always had good self esteem. I really can not explain why other than I am incredibly stubborn and strong willed. I got the same messages from the media, at home and from those in school but I did not let it affect how I feel about myself and my body.

It has to be hard to like something about a person that they hate. It must be harder when that person speaks poorly about what you find attractive all the time. It makes you feel like what you are attracted to about that person is wrong and its not. I can not even begin to imagine how that must feel.

There are girls out there that do not hate their giggly bits and like who they are. I am one of them. I would never say anything bad about my size in front of my partner b.c I know that it would hurt them to hear that. I do not know why I have good self esteem I have just always liked who I am and I am not worried about conforming to what society deems normal. In my experience normal is never very fun anyways. Good luck on your search... ok off my soap box for now
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Old 06-05-2010, 12:13 AM   #35
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I thought it was time to throw my two pieces of chosen currency into this thread.

For me, confidence is key. My ex wasn’t very confident in herself or her body, and despite my very best efforts to relax her and build up a base of self worth, she rebuffed my efforts and made me feel very invalidated in a sort of ‘if you like my body you must have something wrong with you’ way. This, was painful for me, and in the end was a contributing factor in breaking up our already unstable relationship.

Now, it may be unpopular to say this, but I’m not going to try and have a relationship with a girl who isn’t confident ever again. It was tiresome trying to make her feel comfortable with herself and with me liking her body, she just pushed me away over and over and over. I can’t deal with a relationship that distances me like that.
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Old 06-05-2010, 08:12 AM   #36
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Well I feel like I have very high self esteem and I enjoy the fact that there are guys out there that think that at my size I am attractive. However what I have bolded should not be your "jumping off point" when trying to get to know a girl. This has been a big turn off for me. Guys don't want to get to know my person. They just focus on the fat.

If you are really and truly serious about dating a girl. Get to know them as a person. You don't have to fawn over their fatness. You are already showing interest in her by talking and getting to know her...you don't have to reminder her WHY you approached her in the first place. I'm not saying don't tell her she's sexy or beautiful but keep it to that unless she likes being told "your big fat belly really turns me on"

this is my fave post on here... a woman knows you find her attractive without you having to flash a neon sign stating "I like fat girls"! If you talk to her, smile at her, flirt with her, give her attention etc, you are saying it without saying it. I mean compliments on looks are nice now and then, but do you need to start out meeting someone with "hi, I want to get to know you because you are fat and I like fat girls" ????!!! hahahaha

So, the fact that she was an attractive fat girl to you is why you approached her in the 1st place...great... now find out if she is as pretty and attractive inside without coming off as a "fat creeper"

all women have self esteem issues to a degree (some more than others) and some fat women will never ever feel comfortable or attractive being fat and it probably will create an unhealthy relationship environment (but the same could be said for any type of insecurity). But before you go judging her self esteem, please self evaluate your approach and balance of conversation TOPICS Even a confident fat woman can find someone too PERVY or CREEPY!

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Old 06-17-2010, 04:52 AM   #37
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I know I'm not a woman, but I experienced some things here that are somewhat similar only from the perspective of an FFA being interested in me. I head heard of girls that like to feed men and get them bigger, I had no clue it was connected to (F)FA's (I just didn't connect the dots). When I finally got involved with my girlfriend there were a lot of things I thought were just crazy if not just strange. So is so cute to me resist her though. She kind of backed up a little and slowly introduced me to what it was she found hot and sexy. It really helped cause I met her on Dims. I just wasn't ready for the Squashing, feeding, belly rubbing, and all that. Lol she had a habit of calling me every time she came over and asking me what I wanted her to bring me. One time I asked her to bring me a burger she brought me 6. I was a little set back at why she would do that, but next thing I knew I ate them all in just 10 minutes or so.

So I'd say learn how to shut down the part of you that is judging a woman just on how she looks (as best you can) and really get to know her for her. Sure you can go up to her because you find her attractive, but don't go smothering her with all the physical reasons your into her. Talk to her let know things about you that she can be attracted to first. It will get you a lot farther if you wait for 2 or 3 signals that she's into you before you blow her away with letting her know how into her you are.

That should get you started on the path your looking for.

There was a post I made on another part of the board about dating school and stuff with links to video's of a Dr. Phil episode on the topic if your interested.
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Old 07-29-2010, 10:46 PM   #38
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Right, I think the key is at the end of your post. If you are dating someone already, of course it's appropriate to share about what you like about each other, what turns you on, etc. But just saying "i think it's perfectly normal to verbalize what's turning you on" gives too much leeway. Obviously it's NOT perfectly normal to go up to everyone you see and comment on their body and what turns you on about it. That's the thing that happens after you start dating, not before; and if women are feeling awkward when the OP mentions it to them, maybe it's insecurity - and maybe the level of connection just isn't ready for that kind of expression yet.
I dunno, if I see a guy with a nice ass or a great smile...I'm going to say "You have a bangin' ass, dude" or "I want to french you in the mouth" LOL. I think it's normal to be physically attracted to someone first, nobody can look at you and see that you've graduated with a degree in English and that you're writing a stand up routine, you know? People gravitate to what catches their eye. If that's my ample, ready for loving body, please let me know!!!
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Old 12-08-2010, 05:51 AM   #39
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Originally Posted by amygo View Post
From the perspective of a girl with low self esteem:

I've been fat my entire life. I've been trained by media and my environment, and my self image that I am not attractive, and no guy would ever be into me. I'm "pretty", outgoing, and have tons of fun with guys. But in the rare situations where I think a guy might be into me, I go in shock. I just want to run away and hide. I assume that most guys I meet aren't into me, and I can be my normal fun self, but if I get that vibe I instantly become super self conscious. There are several reasons for this, but a large part of it is that I just don't have experience in relating to men as a possible mate. There's also a trust issue going on, where I hate myself and I'm fat and ugly, so what kind of person are you to find me attractive without knowing anything about me. Also, in terms of dating, a fat girl (like me at least) with low self worth and thinks her body is disgusting has to build up some worth with other qualities. I coped with my issues by being confident in my character, in being funny, kind, empathetic, smart etc. So if a guy comes up to me and starts flirting (we know how most men relate to us so when a guy actually shows interest, we KNOW it) I'm almost offended, like "I would never want to date a guy that wants to get to know me based soley off my looks." So long story short, being overweight and having low self esteem comes with all sorts of defense mechanisms and hurdles that could only be revealed in a dating relationship.

My one solid statement of advice is, be friends first. Don't show her any other intentions than just being friends and hanging out, and slowly crawl into it. That, and get her really drunk.

I know there are a lot of confident ladies here, and I am only speaking from the perspective of a fat girl with low self esteem.
This is exactly how I feel. I'm almost always on the defense. I've never actually been asked out: I asked my first (and only) boyfriend out on dates AND to be my boyfriend. Well, he wasn't an FA (and he only dated me to make another girl jealous - it didn't work out between them :P) I'm so afraid of getting my heart broken everytime I have a crush, I never actually ask the guy out. My friends end up doing it for me. Sure, they give the nice answers (Oh, too busy... oh, don't have the time) but still. It hurts.

So I'm not sure when someone approaches me like that (hah, like it's ever happened).

Talk to her first. Be friends. Once your friends and you have her trust, ask her our. Once she understands that you adore her shape, then tell her.
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Old 12-08-2010, 06:06 AM   #40
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funny I am just re reading this topic

and its been a while I have almost made it to a year of being single

and I can honestly say to any FA out there if all you see is my size and expect that I am turned on by talking about my size and belly and stuff and that is all then your not gonna get the prize namely me

I agree talk to someone get to know them but dont make it all about size.

I am who I am size included and sorry but talking about my weight doesnt do anything for me talk to me about subjects I am interested in engage my mind and it will go a long way

it is hard to keep your selfesteem high at any age weight or size when you are being treated like an object or a piece of meat.

Just thought it was interesting to re read this thread and see how differently I felt about some of it having not lived through it over and over and now yeah very different get to know a girl for sure dont just jump on the size thing right away I know when a guy does I am turned off and dont really want to talk to them I have had numerous aguments with fa's this year on this subject to btw at the end of the day we want to be treated with kindness sincerity and respect well ok thats what I want.
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Old 12-08-2010, 06:15 AM   #41
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I'm with Christov.

I spent way too many years with someone who was hostile to the fact that I was an FA. I was expected to love her physically as if she were a thin woman. Might as well try to high-five someone with no arms. The physical distancing that can come with the FA/self-loathing BBW matchup is damn poisonous, and will eventually drive the FA crazy with resentment, which is really what I think the woman in the situation would probably be feeling, too.

I am up front about this shit. This is what I like, this is how it makes me different than a normal guy, and you can take it or leave it. FAs and FFAs were made to give a special kind of love and happiness to those with fat bodies that "normal" people usually can't, and to put yourself in a situation where it's going to waste like that is a damn shame.
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Old 12-08-2010, 08:19 AM   #42
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Originally Posted by 1love_emily View Post
Talk to her first. Be friends. Once your friends and you have her trust, ask her out. Once she understands that you adore her shape, then tell her.
Very true. My wife & I are each other's best friends, although it didn't start that way (she denies any memory of throwing grape juice in my face when I pulled her hair in 2nd grade ). Most couples we know with strong marriages are each other's best friends too. Physical attraction is important, but friendship may be the strongest foundation for a lasting love in our marriage now going on 31 years.

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I am who I am size included and sorry but talking about my weight doesnt do anything for me talk to me about subjects I am interested in engage my mind and it will go a long way
Again very true. My supersize wife is confident and fully accepts her size, but doesn't really like me to talk about how fat she is. From her perspective her fat is simply there and sometimes it's a nuisance. After all these years she still doesn't quite understand why her fat attracts me so much, but she sure is glad I love it. Far better to talk about subjects that interest both of us, and if she happens to bring up her weight that's when I go with it. She's perfectly okay letting me watch her jump up and down trying to shake her wonderfully obese figure into her jeans or slacks, but I'd better resist the urge to provide a play-by-play commentary! As far as I'm concerned, our personal compatibility makes our marriage work, with enough differences to make life interesting, and we are equal partners (although she knows one way to prevail in a discussion is to "innocently" shake her fat). The physical attraction is icing on the cake, and her huge soft warm curvy rolls of bouncing jiggling bulging fat hanging out and tantalizing me (there I go again! ) are really GOOD icing. After all, I might not be the fat admirer I am today if we hadn't sparked each other's attention as 7- or 8-year-olds in 2nd grade and I watched her figure gradually grow over the next 45 years into the supersize beauty she is today.

Anyway I can attest to the wisdom of personal attraction first and physical attraction second. They're both good, but the personal attraction makes it all work.
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Old 12-10-2010, 01:37 PM   #43
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...larger girls often seem to have lower self esteem and especially don't like when someone makes a big deal (or even a small deal) about their size, even if its positive.
i've dated girls like this in the past.
it never lasted very long with any of them.
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Old 12-10-2010, 01:48 PM   #44
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I have just one thing to add: TRUST.

Build some trust in your relationship [either as a friend or romantically, if you are already a couple] and everything else will flow. I can know in my heart that I am perfect the way that I am, and still not trust that other people can see and identify that. That step seems to be a given for some people [like my darling Castingpearls!] but in truth, some women [and men] have difficulty trusting people and taking what they say seriously. Don't under compliment her and dont over compliment her. Just have some patience and take it slow.

Someone did mention the dreaded "friend zone" . . . Kissing someone probably means you aren't going to be in the friend zone, so start there and don't rush her. Trust takes time to build.
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Old 12-10-2010, 10:46 PM   #45
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I think it's great that i've just stumbled across this thread. Given that I have not been so confident in the past but am feeling a shift lately, this is the kind of thig I needed to read. I guess I'm headed in the right direction for a good FA to eventually want to be with me.

In fact, at the bookstore today, I pointed to a diet book and told my friend out loud "I'm never going to need one of those books again. I'm at a point where I know what I look like is what I'm meant to look like and if it changes, then so be it. But I'm not gonna force myself to change anymore." An employee (male) was working right next to me and overheard this, and responded to me that it was "refreshing to hear a girl think like that" and he said he hoped other girls would think like me because "there's no such thing as pefect." I was astounded! But happy, too, that a MALE who was a complete stranger to me actually spoke up and supported me.

I do hope that when I stumble upon an FA, he won't like me JUST because of my appearance. Because I can totally accept that you think fat is hot, but I'm not looking to be a guy's sex toy. I'm looking for my bestest best friend who just so happens to think I'm sexy and lovable too. I hope the FAs approach dating more like that. Chasing a fantasy will only end up hurting someone. But chasing the genuine and true, that's different
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Old 12-11-2010, 03:40 AM   #46
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Good Luck with that. It seems to be that big girls (at least the models) ARE confident.The thing is with the ones that aren't. Even a dude like myself I don't feel comfortable or.that confident with putting alll this stuff out about me. I did post a pic awhile back , but I don't think many saw or liked it. I'm not that ugly, but not that good looking either, so it's kind of in between. At least for me.
I've gotten crap because of being a little dude, I do eat though. And also just
finding a big beautiful ATTRACTIVE girl who likes or hopefully dosen't mind being around a dude who's kind of nerdy. So far I haven't found much. I was happy to find at least one chick on here early in the year. I e-mailed pics to her because if it's not everybody looking at them, like someone with a negative comment, then it's ok. And I know I'm probably going to get the negative just like anyone else. I was happy to find she liked the pics though, I was'nt sure she would. And I can't wait to finally meet her in person. And I know she's probably just as nice and attractive as in her pics.
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Old 12-11-2010, 06:09 AM   #47
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I've seen this type of complaint a lot on here and i just want to say something from an (F)FFA perspective. i think it's perfectly normal to verbalize what's turning you on. It's not necessarily about disrespect or objectification, but when you're with a fatty there are certain particular things that are going to be arousing whether that's their size in general, a specific fat body part or shape, or something about how their size is hightlighted. I work with a fat guy at my part time job, and it is a turnon for me when he's behind the bar and his belly knocks into the well bottles or i see him eating. We're not dating and obviously it would be super unprofessional and rude to just off the cuff say "Hey you know when you're at the computer it's so hot how your belly rests on the countertop" but yeah, it is a turnon. And that doesn't negate anything about him as an individual at all--like if we were dating and he asked what i liked about him i could tell him--but i don't think it's any different from exclaiming over somebody's six pack abs, huge breasts, long hair, or any other physical attribute.
I used to hate it when a man told me that he loves my rolls/fat belly/big ass/huge arms. For me it was just unbelieveable that someone could find attractive the things that I found repulsive. I think that a LOT of women are still at this stage and haven't accepted that someone could find fat attractive. For ME(at that stage), I preferred waiting until we know one another better before getting those types of compliments. I wanted a guy to ask me if its okay to compliment me on such things, but I found that sometimes the guy didn't want to know ME the person before knowing me the FAT person. It's almost like seeing the fat was so tempting that it became hypnotic to them and they couldn't help themselves.
Now (and it took a lot of time for me to get here), I dont mind hearing those types of compliments as long as they are tasteful. For instance...if someone is telling me that he finds my belly to be sexy, that is acceptable--but if he's saying something like "Wow your belly is as big as a cow's belly/car/fridge" or "You look like a huge fat piggie" He's more than likely going to be pulling back a bloody stump where his hand used to be and nursing a black eye. Use some tact and discretion when you are complimenting a woman and you will never go wrong.
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Old 12-11-2010, 08:44 AM   #48
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Now (and it took a lot of time for me to get here), I dont mind hearing those types of compliments as long as they are tasteful. For instance...if someone is telling me that he finds my belly to be sexy, that is acceptable--but if he's saying something like "Wow your belly is as big as a cow's belly/car/fridge" or "You look like a huge fat piggie" He's more than likely going to be pulling back a bloody stump where his hand used to be and nursing a black eye. Use some tact and discretion when you are complimenting a woman and you will never go wrong.
Right - I think the issue really is to know the particular woman you're with. Some ladies might like the whole fat piggie/refrigerator/cow thing, and some might not even be at the point where you can say much about their belly. "Tact and discretion" are good pointers, but really, getting to know that individual woman, and having honest conversations about what you each want and feel comfortable with; that's the only sure way to figure this stuff out.
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Old 12-11-2010, 12:46 PM   #49
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RJ20, don't despair. There's BBWs and SSBBWs out there who love nerdy and small types of guys for real!

As when it comes to commenting on my size so as to try to compliment, I'd prefer hearing things like "I love how squishy you are" or "it's so comfortable and soft to hold you." things to that effect. But maybe as a "hard woman" I'm just looking too much for a guy to find the soft and feminine in me. That's probably part of it. I don't like hearing "your fat stomach is sexy" but I do like hearing "Id love to rest my head on your stomach" etc.

Maybe I'm just weird but I'd really prefer hearing the benefits of my fat than just hearing that I am fat. If that makes any sense.
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Old 12-11-2010, 06:36 PM   #50
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Originally Posted by joswitch View Post
I'd rather know up front / early-ish in dating a girl that she thinks:
"I hate myself so what kind of person are you to find me attractive"
Cos who wants to date someone who despises you? ...for being attracted to them (or otherwise)...
Joswitch, the thing is that a lot of girls who are BBW don't know or understand the idea that there are people who like them. I had no idea that it was humanly possible for a guy to like someone who was 300+ pounds. I had always thought, because of something I read in an intro to Psychology, that men liked women who weren't skinny, but not fat (had hips/boobs/flat stomach) and long straight hair. For years I tried to emulate that, but it just wasn't me.

There was one guy who showed me this culture, the culture of acceptance and love that is Dims. I honestly thought I was huge, being a little over 300 lbs. But now I see that I am in quite, pretty damn skinny compared to some women who are happily married. I'm content with my weight, I don't want to gain or lose. Emily at 305 lbs is who I am, and who I want to be.

I just think that more people need to know about BBW/FA/BHM/FFA-dom. Without this, I'd probably be eating lettuce and vingar for dinner every night with a side of decaf coffee. Instead, I eat pizzas and soup and steak and sushi and whateve the hell I want, because I can, and I know that someone will love me - it just comes down to finding them.
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