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Old 04-27-2010, 07:25 PM   #26
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I agree Spirit. I just hope I can find her. Surfer
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Old 04-27-2010, 07:42 PM   #27
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I have experience with this exact situation - (a former) LDR w/ a military man. This was quite a few years ago, we met online and fell in love, got engaged, planned our life together (yes we did meet in person, this was not some fake fantasy love sight unseen). I knew going in that because of his career it would be me doing the relocating. That isn't the reason it ended and I won't go into that, but because of how painful it was when we were apart I will never EVER do an LDR again. It is not worth the pain of being without the one I love and in the end it's a crapshoot on whether or not it will even work out. We recently got back in touch after like 4 yrs and the feelings came back almost right away but thankfully we're both wiser this time and we're not letting some fantasy get in the way of reality and we're just staying good friends. Reality is, for me, LDRs are just not worth it. You uproot your whole life, you leave behind family and friends and you change your entire world for a small chance at love. It's insane. However, I know this will sound nuts after voicing my opinion on this subject, I wouldn't trade our relationship and the love I had with him for anything in the world. I just wouldn't do it again. You just have to find a woman who is willing to go through all of the stress of a LDR, they do exist, I've seen many of them right here on DIMS.

I'd imagine under normal circumstances it wouldn't be hard to find someone since you're attractive and settled in a good career, but that LDR thingy is gonna be a hurdle..

Also, thank you for your service to our country.
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Old 04-27-2010, 07:50 PM   #28
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Thank-you for your support of us!

I know it will not be easy, but I am willing to give it 110% if she is. cause we know the end result will be fantastic!
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Old 04-27-2010, 07:54 PM   #29
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Thank-you for your support of us!
My Dad was a Marine, my Grandfather and Uncle served in wars before I was even born, and then there was that great love of mine, so I'm definitely a supporter of the military. It breaks my heart what you guys go through, but I also see you guys as complete and utter heroes for doing it voluntarily and not quitting. I could never do it. Kudos.
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Old 04-27-2010, 07:56 PM   #30
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Thank-you again, it is for people like you, and even those that don't support us that we do it. Surfer.
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Old 04-27-2010, 07:57 PM   #31
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I didn't see Officer and a Gentleman so I don't get the reference.
You have to see it! It's one of my top favorite movies - Zack is a dreamboat, he's one of those "every woman's fantasy" deals. Just.. you have to see it. I really thought there weren't any women left who hadn't seen it. Such a beautiful movie, even with the sad parts.
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Old 04-27-2010, 08:09 PM   #32
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Did my reply get removed because I called a character in a movie a whore? Really?

God, girl, I hope not.
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Old 04-27-2010, 08:14 PM   #33
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I don't think anyone should be offended by the word whore in a conversation unless they are one or unless they're really oversensitive. JMO. Otherwise, it's a perfectly acceptable word to describe Lynette (the cheap girl in the movie). I mean, she IS one. A shady lying two-faced cheap one at that.
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Old 04-27-2010, 08:17 PM   #34
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I don't think anyone should be offended by the word whore in a conversation unless they are one or unless they're really oversensitive. JMO. Otherwise, it's a perfectly acceptable word to describe Lynette (the cheap girl in the movie). I mean, she IS one. A shady lying two-faced cheap one at that.
Ditzy--you know in Jersey we call them hoo-ahs. LOL Stop talking so high and mighty! LOLOLOLOL
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Old 04-27-2010, 08:26 PM   #35
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Ditzy--you know in Jersey we call them hoo-ahs. LOL Stop talking so high and mighty! LOLOLOLOL
LOL!!!!! My Mom says it that way (not that my Mom says it often, she's so straightlaced, I've seen her drink once in my entire 32 yrs and that was just a Bud nip lol). If you watch Jerseylicious on Style network, someone on there said it that way and I was like Yep, good ol' Jersey!
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Old 04-27-2010, 08:36 PM   #36
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The point is that he's using terminology that is negative toward women, on a forum that is supposed to be "protected" against that type of thing.
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Old 04-27-2010, 08:40 PM   #37
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Are we really having an argument in the BBW Forum about whether we should be able to call other women "whores"?
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Old 04-27-2010, 08:45 PM   #38
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I don't see anyone arguing, just having a small difference of opinion. I think calling a woman a whore when it's uncalled for is WRONG. But if the girl IS one then I don't see how it's wrong. I wouldn't call anyone here a whore.
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Old 04-27-2010, 08:48 PM   #39
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Maybe someone could get their hands on a script to see how the screenwriters described the character. Woman of easy virtue, perhaps?
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Old 04-27-2010, 08:52 PM   #40
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The point is that he's using terminology that is negative toward women, on a forum that is supposed to be "protected" against that type of thing.
Thank you.

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Originally Posted by mcbeth View Post
Are we really having an argument in the BBW Forum about whether we should be able to call other women "whores"?
And men in the bbw forum using terminology which, while seemingly fun and harmless, just does not jive with the purpose/reason for a protected forum. But, yeah, we are having this conversation. Amazing, but not.
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Old 04-27-2010, 10:31 PM   #41
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I have been in a ldr and would do it again. It just takes a lot of patience and work. We both would have to agree that by a certain time , one of us would have to move closer.
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Old 04-28-2010, 03:15 AM   #42
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no mossy...i do get it. it was appropriate terminology to describe the type of girls who specifically target GI for their income level. what else should he have said? there is really no 'non-derogatory' type of word for that type of person. the word he chose fit the context of the point he was making.

my comment was not condoning the use of deragatory words for women, but i don't think they were meant in the context you chose to take them in. yes, i do think you have every right to voice your opinion...but sometimes the gals in this 'protected forum' tend to get a bit touchy and want to take everything as a personal affront rather than keep it in context.

fyi...my comment had nothing to do with 'whore'...that was already pulled by the mod before i even got to read this...but again, it would have fit in the context of that movie.

have a great day ladies.
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Old 04-28-2010, 03:27 AM   #43
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Morning, just a quick thanks for all the comments from you beautiful ladies!
Mossy, I am sorry if terms I used offended you.
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Old 04-28-2010, 11:11 AM   #44
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no mossy....
no bobble, you don't.....the point was that there are places where all kinds of terminology can be used and discussed ( although, I guess nobody is allowed to take exception , otherwise they get told to lighten up, which is not really keeping in with the original spirit of this place, but I think that boat sailed long ago )...

...but that this space was unique, otherwise it would have never been created.......there are...were....reasons for these more specialized forums.....................I cannot explain more clearly how I did not take these words " personally "................but just keep on telling other women they are touchy.... and keep all the ugly labels coming for women who behave in certain ways ( but know that ugly labels are not always contained to the individual woman or group of women you specify, which is the bigger issue, and my point ).....society has always been a fan...no reason this protected space should be any different....it goes a bit deeper than your wanting to label me...this is not about me.....it's not about this guy and where he hangs out and what he observes...these are words that have been used against all kinds of women for a hell of a long time... it would have been nice to not have to see them in this one place .......that's pretty much it
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Old 04-28-2010, 02:52 PM   #45
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no bobble, you don't.....the point was that there are places where all kinds of terminology can be used and discussed ( although, I guess nobody is allowed to take exception , otherwise they get told to lighten up, which is not really keeping in with the original spirit of this place, but I think that boat sailed long ago )...

...but that this space was unique, otherwise it would have never been created.......there are...were....reasons for these more specialized forums.....................I cannot explain more clearly how I did not take these words " personally "................but just keep on telling other women they are touchy.... and keep all the ugly labels coming for women who behave in certain ways ( but know that ugly labels are not always contained to the individual woman or group of women you specify, which is the bigger issue, and my point ).....society has always been a fan...no reason this protected space should be any different....it goes a bit deeper than your wanting to label me...this is not about me.....it's not about this guy and where he hangs out and what he observes...these are words that have been used against all kinds of women for a hell of a long time... it would have been nice to not have to see them in this one place .......that's pretty much it
thanks Mossy. The BBW board is definitely NOT the place to use demeaning language against women.
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Old 04-28-2010, 05:41 PM   #46
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Maybe it this thread were moved to the sexuality forum?
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Old 04-29-2010, 03:23 AM   #47
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Maybe it this thread were moved to the sexuality forum?
Well no, and here's why. At that point, some would then complain that the thread was just moved so that men could call women whores.

I can't help but think back ten years or more, when there were only a couple of forums here, and there was far less divisiveness than there is today in Dimensions.
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Old 04-29-2010, 11:39 AM   #48
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Even though i was the first to criticize his use of an innapropriate word, i honestly think he just started the thread to get input about long distance relationships.

It was not started as a decoy so he could be a jerk or denigrate certain types of females.

It's not necessary or productive for the fat community to harsh on new posters. Set them straight or correct certain comments? yes. But not attack to this degree.
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Old 04-29-2010, 11:43 AM   #49
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Well no, and here's why. At that point, some would then complain that the thread was just moved so that men could call women whores.
I hate to break it to you, but very colorful labels are used all over this site, when it comes to some wanting to express their feelings about any number of people they do not approve of. Moving this thread would not cause any issues, because it would be in a more appropriate place, where anybody can say what they want...and be ready for feedback. So, keep the sexist language here, on the bbw forum, because of the possibility of somebody not liking that it was moved. Trust me, women are called whores elsewhere on this site ( using this particular example of snappy labels used ). This forum is here, as are the other ' protected ' forums - fa - lgbtq - weight gain - ssbbw. As long as they are here, then there is either an understanding of why they are here...or get rid of all of them.

As for the divisiveness...the forums were asked for because of the divisiveness. Things could have continued as they were, and that would have been fine with me, as long as nobody got special treatment. I just do not buy that things were so beautiful in the past. I am thinking that there was a lot of new car smell thing going on. Once people start stretching their legs and seeing how they want more...it's harder to keep them down on the happy fat farm. They become interested in additional things and find their voices, while still enjoying some of what initially drew them in.

Maybe there needs to be a Hyde Park thread started for all this. I know that there are protected forums here where ugly language would never be tolerated. Would be sad if the bbw forum became the only protected forum where this is debated...let alone tolerated. So, move this conversation....elsewhere?
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Old 04-29-2010, 11:52 AM   #50
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Originally Posted by mossystate View Post
Maybe there needs to be a Hyde Park thread started for all this. I know that there are protected forums here where ugly language would never be tolerated. Would be sad if the bbw forum became the only protected forum where this is debated...let alone tolerated. So, move this conversation....elsewhere?
I think that's a great idea (the thread to discuss this). But since I wasn't around before the great split of...whatever year...I don't think I should be the one to kick it off.
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