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Old 06-29-2010, 08:58 AM   #76
KnottyOne
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This is so true. I know from my own experience that it was absolutely heart-wrenching and painful every time my long-distance love and I had to say good bye and go our separate ways, which is why I said in my earlier post that I feel like if a LDR is going to work, a plan has to be set in place pretty early on to make it non-long-distance as quickly as possible. I just think that the longer it drags on, the harder it is to maintain any kind of emotional (or obviously physical) intimacy, and I think that two people can only take so much of that heart-ache from having to say good bye and be apart for so long; after a while you just grow numb.
THIS! This is exactly what happened to me too and why I feel I sabotaged it without even realizing it. Thanks for artfully putting what I couldn't
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Old 06-29-2010, 10:53 AM   #77
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One of the challenges of the LDR for many is just leaving, to return to where you came from.

Often, it feels like breaking up, and every time you visit, you again run the risk of feeling that breakup. With time, you may get beyond that, but you truly need to be emotionally prepared for that feeling when you get in your car, hop on the bus (Gus), or get on the plane to head back.
So true...

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Originally Posted by LJ Rock View Post
This is so true. I know from my own experience that it was absolutely heart-wrenching and painful every time my long-distance love and I had to say good bye and go our separate ways, which is why I said in my earlier post that I feel like if a LDR is going to work, a plan has to be set in place pretty early on to make it non-long-distance as quickly as possible. I just think that the longer it drags on, the harder it is to maintain any kind of emotional (or obviously physical) intimacy, and I think that two people can only take so much of that heart-ache from having to say good bye and be apart for so long; after a while you just grow numb.
I agree whole heartedly with this.....

The problem though is that people move at different speeds, and while one person is extremely comfortable, the other may not be. That doesn't mean that their love is any less than yours, but it may be a deciding factor for you.


Not ever being involved in a LDR before, this is something relatively new to me, and very much so a learning experience.
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Old 07-13-2010, 02:36 PM   #78
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MzDee, you are so right on! That is the problem I had when dating years ago, the different speeds! Why can we not be programed to all get and do things at the same point. It would make things so much easier.

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Old 07-13-2010, 02:38 PM   #79
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MzDee, you are so right on! That is the problem I had when dating years ago, the different speeds! Why can we not be programed to all get and do things at the same point. It would make things so much easier.

Surfer
This also goes with even dating locally. It sucks when somebody doesn't love you back....yet.
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Old 07-14-2010, 10:12 AM   #80
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This also goes with even dating locally. It sucks when somebody doesn't love you back....yet.
Very true also. I think with age and wisdom comes the realization that fundamental differences such as these make for a weak foundation to build a potential relationship upon, and that you are better off cutting your losses sooner rather than later. Move on and find someone who is more "your speed."
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Old 07-14-2010, 07:50 PM   #81
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They suck.
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Old 07-14-2010, 09:29 PM   #82
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They suck.

Agreed. 100%.
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Old 07-15-2010, 07:19 AM   #83
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Are they harder? yeah. But reality is I think any relationship actually working out has the odds against it. Now my best friend just got married to someone from Denmark that she met online. It can work out. Might as well take a chance. I still believe in destiny. Silly me. LOL
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Old 07-15-2010, 08:01 AM   #84
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I am currently dating someone who is about 60 miles from my home and that is hard enough.

It is to easy for people to be deceptive when you do not have the ability to see them each and every day.
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Old 07-15-2010, 09:04 AM   #85
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I am currently dating someone who is about 60 miles from my home and that is hard enough.

It is to easy for people to be deceptive when you do not have the ability to see them each and every day.
One thing I've learned in my older days...if you don't have trust you don't have nothing. Distance has nothing to do with it.
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Old 07-15-2010, 09:06 AM   #86
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One thing I've learned in my older days...if you don't have trust you don't have nothing. Distance has nothing to do with it.
Amen, sister.
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Old 07-15-2010, 09:29 AM   #87
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It is to easy for people to be deceptive when you do not have the ability to see them each and every day.
THAT is the one thing that kept me away from LDR's. I learned the hard way.
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Old 07-15-2010, 02:25 PM   #88
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Social networking is important. Nearly everyone has admirers and lovers from previous relationships on their MySpace and Facebook pages. Consider your long distance partner, and watch not only what you say, but what others say on your pages. It's not like if something gets misinterpreted, you can sit down over coffee together and discuss. That's hard enough, now put all those miles between you. Just consider your partner, as if they were there with you as you read a comment made by another on your page, or when you type a comment.
I deleted all my social networking accounts due to this exact issue, except baby momma lived with me and still it was an issue.
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Old 07-16-2010, 02:51 PM   #89
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They suck.
They really do x.x I'm sorry v.v
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