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Old 05-04-2010, 03:45 PM   #1
Tina
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Default To those who have written me wondering if I'm okay...

... and where I am.

First I want to thank those of you who have written to me, concerned and wondering how I'm doing and where I am. It's heartwarming that there are people here who really do care and I apologize for taking so long to check in. I will likely write you and direct you to this thread, even while apologizing for the impersonal nature of it; I'm just so busy, in lots of pain from my conditions, and just so exhausted -- mentally, emotionally and physically.

My son is in the hospital right now. It's not his first hospitalization; in fact, he's had many in the last 7-8 months or so, but he's worse than ever. Without going into fine detail it's for mental health issues. I'm not sure what will ultimately happen with him, as he's been turned down to immigrate here to Canada, has been turned down by social security disability (I've retained lawyers to fight that for him), hasn't been able to work for a long time so I'm his sole means of financial support, and has lost his housing. It's been so stressful and involved, all of this, that I barely have time to do anything but take care of his needs and the involved paper work and red tape in order to try to help him to be able to live some kind of a life after he's out of the hospital. I've hardly had time even to work, and have to squeeze that in.

I've also given up my moderating duties after a number of years, for a multitude of reasons, and though I don't intent to stop posting here, I just don't have much time for it. I'm not sure life has ever been this difficult -- ever. We all (myself, Eric and my son) have been having a very hard time of it. Thanks again for thinking of me, those of you who have written.

It feels a little funny grandstanding in order to talk about this, but I didn't want to put it in my jewelry thread, since not everyone reads it. For those who have read this, thank you.
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Old 05-04-2010, 03:50 PM   #2
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Awww honey *GIANT HUG* I am so sorry to learn of all of this stress and strife in your life right now! Keep on keeping on and don't hestiate to PM me if you need to vent. We may not be bosum buddies and life long pals, but know I have always thought well of you. Just know that I do care and will be there for ya if you like!
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Old 05-04-2010, 08:02 PM   #3
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Big squishy hugs, and lots of loving energy comming your way,
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Old 05-04-2010, 08:18 PM   #4
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I don't normally post in the BBW Forum, but upon seeing your post Tina I had to reply. I am so sorry life has become so hard lately. I don't know what to say but to let you know my prayers are with you. Things will get better, but may take a long time.

Tina,
Have you considered appealing your son's case to immigrate to Canada? Often in Canadian immigration cases families can receive help with the immigration appeal process by contacting your local federal MP and asking for his or her assistance. Helping an MP's constituents navigate goverment services such as immigration appeals, is considered part of an MP's duties.

Keep fighting for your son. Family members often need someone to fight for them as they navigate the health care system. It is even more important to have a family member advocate for mental health care. Your son is fortunate to have such a loving mother willing to fight to insure he is able to receive good care. If you do no agree with the hospital's treatment plan, fight back. Don't let them push a treatment plan on to your son, if in your heart it doesn't feel right. I know being an advocate must be hard long distance. My prayers are with you. Hopefully things will begin to change for the better.

My prayers are with you and your family. Please keep us updated.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tina View Post
... and where I am.

First I want to thank those of you who have written to me, concerned and wondering how I'm doing and where I am. It's heartwarming that there are people here who really do care and I apologize for taking so long to check in. I will likely write you and direct you to this thread, even while apologizing for the impersonal nature of it; I'm just so busy, in lots of pain from my conditions, and just so exhausted -- mentally, emotionally and physically.

My son is in the hospital right now. It's not his first hospitalization; in fact, he's had many in the last 7-8 months or so, but he's worse than ever. Without going into fine detail it's for mental health issues. I'm not sure what will ultimately happen with him, as he's been turned down to immigrate here to Canada, has been turned down by social security disability (I've retained lawyers to fight that for him), hasn't been able to work for a long time so I'm his sole means of financial support, and has lost his housing. It's been so stressful and involved, all of this, that I barely have time to do anything but take care of his needs and the involved paper work and red tape in order to try to help him to be able to live some kind of a life after he's out of the hospital. I've hardly had time even to work, and have to squeeze that in.

I've also given up my moderating duties after a number of years, for a multitude of reasons, and though I don't intent to stop posting here, I just don't have much time for it. I'm not sure life has ever been this difficult -- ever. We all (myself, Eric and my son) have been having a very hard time of it. Thanks again for thinking of me, those of you who have written.

It feels a little funny grandstanding in order to talk about this, but I didn't want to put it in my jewelry thread, since not everyone reads it. For those who have read this, thank you.
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Old 05-04-2010, 09:39 PM   #5
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Just ((((HUGS)))).
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Old 05-04-2010, 09:47 PM   #6
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Tina, I hope the very best for you, Eric and your son...(((hugs))) and heartfelt prayers to you all.
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Old 05-05-2010, 06:13 AM   #7
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(((Tina)))

So sorry to hear all this has fallen on you. You and your family will be in my prayers.
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Old 05-05-2010, 07:41 AM   #8
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I'm so sorry Tina. I'll light a candle for you and James.
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Old 05-05-2010, 08:57 AM   #9
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Tina, I too was worried about what was happening with you and your family. I hope your son can find some peace and a therapy that will help him live as normal a life as he can. I know how hard it is on you to deal with his illness long distance and to keep going back and forth across the continent to try and be a mother and caretaker.

I looked up a few links that should help you in dealing with appealing his being refused immigration to Canada. Some of the sites are public and some are private. Good luck with your quest. Don't give up. If you need some folks to write letters of recommendation, I can write one for you as a caretaker/business woman. Let me know.

M2M
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Canada Mental Health Association - http://www.cmha.ca/bins/index.asp

Medical Inadmissibility Problem - site of Canadian Immigration Attorneys Campbell and Cohen http://www.canadavisa.com/immigratio...ssibility.html
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Canadian Government website - http://canada.gc.ca/home.html

Citizenship & Immigration site for the Canadian Government - http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/index.asp

Appeals of Refused Canadian Immigration, also from the Immigration and Refugee Board http://www.irb-cisr.gc.ca/eng/tribun...ges/index.aspx -

Immigration and Refugee Board of Canada a government site (below)
http://www.irb-cisr.gc.ca/eng/pages/index.aspx -
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Old 05-05-2010, 09:45 AM   #10
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Hugs from me too I hope things get better soon.
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Old 05-05-2010, 10:56 AM   #11
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Hugs for you, Tina. I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you guys. Take care of yourself. I'll be sending good thoughts your way.
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Old 05-05-2010, 06:40 PM   #12
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You are all so dear. Thank you very, very much for the kind words, prayers, good thoughts and candle-lighting. We all appreciate it more than I can say.
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Old 05-05-2010, 06:59 PM   #13
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Tina, you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers in the weeks to come. I hope things turn around for all of you. Many hugs!
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Old 05-06-2010, 12:55 AM   #14
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Tina, so sorry that you and your family have to go through this. My prayers are with you. *hugs*
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Old 05-06-2010, 02:17 PM   #15
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So many kind, caring people here. Thank you. Deb and Paul, thank you for the links. I'm bookmarking them now...
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"It's my belief that these sheep are laborin' under the misapprehension that they're birds. Observe their be'avior. Take for a start the sheeps' tendency to 'op about the field on their back legs. Now witness their attmpts to fly from tree to tree. Notice that they do not so much fly as... plummet." -- Monty Python's Flying Circus
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Old 05-06-2010, 09:37 PM   #16
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I just checked my messages and rep messages and I'm very humbled. I'll be writing responses tomorrow, but just for now, before going to bed, I want to thank you all -- those of you who have posted here and who have sent me messages and rep messages, I don't have the words. "Thank you" seems so inadequate, and yet it's all I've got for now. Your kindness, compassion and empathy makes me feel very quiet and still with gratitude. Thank you.
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"It's my belief that these sheep are laborin' under the misapprehension that they're birds. Observe their be'avior. Take for a start the sheeps' tendency to 'op about the field on their back legs. Now witness their attmpts to fly from tree to tree. Notice that they do not so much fly as... plummet." -- Monty Python's Flying Circus
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Old 05-06-2010, 10:47 PM   #17
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Tina, for whatever it is worth, most people are turned down for social security disability benefits after the first application. Just keep reapplying and it will work out. Get support for yourself if you can.
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Old 05-08-2010, 02:45 PM   #18
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sending lots and lots of good vibes your way x
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Old 05-08-2010, 03:03 PM   #19
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Tina,
First of all, thank you so much for being so open and honest about what you've been going through. I am glad you have been bolstered by all the responses. I will be adding you and your family to my prayers. As others have said, don't give up on the Social Security Disability benefits. My Mark has been receiving benefits for several years now, but it was very difficult getting all his ducks in a row before SSA signed off on the okay. Thankfully, he had experienced people helping him with the task. Mark went through the Betty Hardwick Clinic in Abilene when he applied for benefits (that and we have a good friend that has been in the counseling business for years). The counselors at the clinic coached him through the paperwork and explained how he should word his claim. If you need any advice on this, please feel free to PM me.
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Old 05-10-2010, 07:21 PM   #20
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Thank you! We leave tomorrow to go to an appointment in VT on Weds morning. I'm hoping we'll get some kind of good news then. Also hoping the attorney will know how to word the claim, Ella. I'd hope so, but I just might take you up on that. I'd hope that they'd know enough so that I shouldn't have to, but you never know these days...

Katherine, help for me? I just need a vacation in the tropics for two weeks with my husband. No phones, no computers, no worries. And strong beds.
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Old 05-19-2010, 10:08 PM   #21
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No good news. Still plugging along, crazy-busy, but keeping the faith.
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"It's my belief that these sheep are laborin' under the misapprehension that they're birds. Observe their be'avior. Take for a start the sheeps' tendency to 'op about the field on their back legs. Now witness their attmpts to fly from tree to tree. Notice that they do not so much fly as... plummet." -- Monty Python's Flying Circus
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Old 05-20-2010, 06:07 AM   #22
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I can offer you a few days in tornado alley on a futon.

Not the same thing, is it?
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Old 05-20-2010, 05:13 PM   #23
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Heh! Not really, Jane, but I love you for the offer. Thank you.
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"It's my belief that these sheep are laborin' under the misapprehension that they're birds. Observe their be'avior. Take for a start the sheeps' tendency to 'op about the field on their back legs. Now witness their attmpts to fly from tree to tree. Notice that they do not so much fly as... plummet." -- Monty Python's Flying Circus
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Old 05-21-2010, 07:27 PM   #24
MizzSnakeBite
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MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
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Well I'll trump that offer, and give her the couch in tornado alley. She can look at my jewelry. If she's good, she can have an air mattress in the birds' room.
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"She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would call unrefined. She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot."
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"Hope is a thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and sings the tune without words, and never stops at all."
Emily Dickinson
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Old 06-15-2010, 11:17 PM   #25
Tina
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Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tina has ascended what used to be the highest level.
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I'd only pop it.
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"I'm really tired of a fat woman's sexuality being just another fat joke." -- Felicia/Supero

"It's my belief that these sheep are laborin' under the misapprehension that they're birds. Observe their be'avior. Take for a start the sheeps' tendency to 'op about the field on their back legs. Now witness their attmpts to fly from tree to tree. Notice that they do not so much fly as... plummet." -- Monty Python's Flying Circus
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