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Old 05-06-2010, 04:15 AM   #1
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Default When the world isn't made for your weight.....

Well, like so many other days, I managed to break something on accident with my weight.

Except that today it was a bus. I was climbing off one of the city buses, put my foot down on the last step, and just had the whole darn thing give way completely. It snapped in two, causing me to slip. I'm perfectly alright, not hurt at all, but the bus is, the step will have to be replaced before it can be used again and ummm, hopefully I will not end up with the bill.

Sometimes I just get so frustrated when stuff like this happens. I never know how to feel when a whole bunch of strangers see me accidentally break furniture or whatever at restaurants, and my first reaction is to usually run far away very quickly, just like I did today.

What do you girls do in situations like this?
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Old 05-06-2010, 05:56 AM   #2
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Huggles Angie I can emphalise there,

I would be thinking that the set of steps was already dodgy I mean how many people would have stepped on them and you were just the unlucky soul who took the fall

I have broken a chair or two in my time, I think it is a matter of shaking it off and remembering just how awesome amazing and gorgeous you truly are

and if the bus was only for a set weight range then it should be stated clearly somewhere, like elevators and the like

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Old 05-06-2010, 06:56 AM   #3
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Hi Angie, I kinda try and hide when it happens or pretend it didn't happen at all if I can. I hate drawing attention to myself, particularly if it is embarrassing.

Mine was a bus too, but it was a seat. Over here, they have those seats that kind of hang in the air and are attached at the back only. So the front has no support. Well, I sat down heavily one morning and there was an almighty crack. I felt the seat shift down on one side, but it held on somehow. Everyone must have heard it, even the bus driver turned to look at me and then at the seat. I just sat still, put my headphones in and prayed for that seat to not dip any further. It held, and for most of that journey I kind of hover sat as much as possible. Two weeks later, all of the buses had struts installed under the front of their seats

I am glad you are ok, and were not hurt when you slipped. Like spiritangel said, don't let it get you down.
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Old 05-06-2010, 07:56 AM   #4
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I am super freaking paranoid of stuff like that and usually do a little reconnaissance work to make sure I can be accommodated beforehand.

And that's ever since one incident a few years ago when my grandpa in law wanted to go to a restaurant on the bay for Father's Day. We get there and I find out that the entire restaurant is outdoors. There are ONLY two seating options. On a stool in the very tiny little alcove of a bar, or cheap plastic stacking lawn chairs on the patio that wouldn't hold my weight. I guess we could have left and driven a half hour to the closest walmart and bought a folding metal chair or something, but the restaurant was full to the point of turning people away by that time so we'd never have gotten another seating for a party our size. So, either my husband and I left, everybody left, or I figured out a way to manage. I hover-sat/squatted with most of my weight on my legs instead of the chair for almost two hours. Not fun, and I was sore for days afterwards.

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Old 05-06-2010, 08:15 AM   #5
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Sorry that happened to you, Angie! You're definitely not alone in experiencing the lack of sturdiness in the built environment... But regarding your concern, there is no way they could foot you with the bill, because like another poster said, there was no posted weight limit anywhere - you were just taking the bus (and I'm sure it wasn't the first time). There was no way you could have known; and in fact, if you were injured and needed help with the medical bills, I could even see a case against the city, since they did not 1) make sure all their steps were in good, sturdy condition, or 2) post a weight limit. But honestly, it was almost certainly a step that was already getting closer to breaking after lots of use, and it was just supremely unlucky timing...

We have some outdoor wooden tables and benches here in my community where we eat dinner together outside when the weather is good; but after years of the benches being exposed to the elements, some of them aren't so strong anymore. I did hear a little crack when I sat on one of the benches the other night at dinner...and I think everyone else at the table heard it too...but luckily it didn't actually break. I am just going to be more careful to sit gingerly and/or to sit on the newer benches.

And along with every other fat girl who ever goes out to new places, I totally have experienced doing the "hovering" thing from time to time....
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Old 05-06-2010, 03:21 PM   #6
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I remember one time I went with Marsha to a meeting. There were those white plastic chairs. And first one, then another, collapsed in front of us... WITH SKINNY PEOPLE IN THEM! Marsha stood up immediately of course, but it was a humorous thing to see the shoe on the skinny foot.
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Old 05-06-2010, 07:19 PM   #7
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Wow, I guess I thought it was only me.....

All of ya'll's examples are so understandable and we can be so empathetic with each other...but if something happens to or with us... it feels like everyone is staring or laughing.

Sitting at a picnic table on one side (table & seats attached) and two people on the other side. They both went to get up and the table almost turned over with me. It was mortifying for me but they laughed it off and tried to make me laugh it off too. Not so easy when lots of folks around.
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Old 05-06-2010, 11:39 PM   #8
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I hate those toilets that are just attached to the wall. I've never had a problem but that's because I try to hover while sittingo on them. The world needs to figure out that we're all getting bigger and make concessions unless they want lawsuits. There is no reason that the bus should have had shoddy steps like that.

I always sit gingerly on everything even concrete.
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Old 05-08-2010, 06:31 AM   #9
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I'm thinking that something must have been wrong with the bus steps. It would have gave way sooner or later with anybody.
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Old 05-08-2010, 06:13 PM   #10
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I'm thinking that something must have been wrong with the bus steps. It would have gave way sooner or later with anybody.
I agree. The bus step either needed to be relaced from regular wear and tear or was defective. They're engineered to bear a lot of weight.

A new neighbor just had a deck built and bought a lovely new patio set, but it had those resin chairs, only more decorative and hard plastic as opposed to somewhat flexible--well, the second I sat in it it just exploded under me (I'm a lifelong hoverer myself) and I fell hard hitting the back of my head on her new table. I was okay but very upset I broke her chair. She was enraged, not with me but because she believed the chair was defective.

In either case, she made a project out of making a comfortable seat for me and actually made me a sort of tuffet. It was a gigantic industrial stock-pot that she turned over and padded and uphoulstered just for me. It was adorable. She called it my throne.

We became good friends and neighbors and remained close until she passed away last year.
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Old 05-08-2010, 06:29 PM   #11
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Yeah, I am starting to notice little things like that happening lately. Most recently I went to use the restroom in our room and yeah...toilet sank into the floor...beautiful situation and thoroughly embarrassing. Our Lan Lord must think I am a huge fatty now but F him. I pay my rent and take damn good care of this place. But it is still extremely humiliating so I feel your pain. But don't let it get you down. Stuff happens like that to everyone, no matter their size. Just seems to happen to us bigger girls more frequently, hehe. Or maybe we just complain about it more? Who knows.
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Old 05-09-2010, 05:48 AM   #12
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it's always reassuring to know that these things happen to other people!!

my most embarrassing was i'd gone to stay at my boyfriend of the time's student house which he shared with a few others. I went to the toilet and heard a crack. Not realising what it was i flushed the toilet..then streamsss of water came gushing out.
that was soo embarrassing. But he was really good about it and made me feel less ashamed
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Old 05-09-2010, 06:38 PM   #13
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These toilet posts are making me remember that I've cracked a couple toilet seats in my day... Once was when I was staying at a friend's house (we weren't that close really, though). I just got her a Target gift card and was like..."Hey, was your toilet seat already broken? I wasn't sure, but just in case here's money to buy another one." It wasn't a huge deal.

Then this morning in church I was sitting in a pew, and realized it already had a crack running through it. Luckily nothing happened, but I was like...yeah, that's just what I need to break this pew in the middle of the church service...lol.
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Old 05-09-2010, 06:44 PM   #14
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These toilet posts are making me remember that I've cracked a couple toilet seats in my day... Once was when I was staying at a friend's house (we weren't that close really, though). I just got her a Target gift card and was like..."Hey, was your toilet seat already broken? I wasn't sure, but just in case here's money to buy another one." It wasn't a huge deal.

Then this morning in church I was sitting in a pew, and realized it already had a crack running through it. Luckily nothing happened, but I was like...yeah, that's just what I need to break this pew in the middle of the church service...lol.
OMG That reminds me of the time I was attending a wedding at a tiny historical church and COULDN'T FIT INTO THE PEW!!! They were so tiny and bolted so close together, I had to force and contort myself to push in (frantically looking for a seat in the back they sometimes have for ushers) and drew the attention of everyone in the church.
I couldn't even sit properly in the pew and had to go through the same ordeal after the ceremony and had huge deep bruises on my abdomen, behind, and hips for over a month.
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Old 05-09-2010, 07:11 PM   #15
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I haven't had anything break under me yet but I'm sure it will happen at some point.
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Old 05-10-2010, 02:26 AM   #16
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OMG That reminds me of the time I was attending a wedding at a tiny historical church and COULDN'T FIT INTO THE PEW!!! They were so tiny and bolted so close together, I had to force and contort myself to push in (frantically looking for a seat in the back they sometimes have for ushers) and drew the attention of everyone in the church.
I couldn't even sit properly in the pew and had to go through the same ordeal after the ceremony and had huge deep bruises on my abdomen, behind, and hips for over a month.
ouchie, god that sounds like a nightmare! !! it's so embarrassing when everyone looks :/


I recently had the experience of trying to fit in a resturant booth..i had to contort myself to sit in it and eep it's awful isn't it. :\
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Old 05-10-2010, 06:47 AM   #17
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OMG That reminds me of the time I was attending a wedding at a tiny historical church and COULDN'T FIT INTO THE PEW!!! They were so tiny and bolted so close together, I had to force and contort myself to push in (frantically looking for a seat in the back they sometimes have for ushers) and drew the attention of everyone in the church.
I couldn't even sit properly in the pew and had to go through the same ordeal after the ceremony and had huge deep bruises on my abdomen, behind, and hips for over a month.
omg that was me at steves sisters wedding was a strange church layout too the pews went down the sides of the church instead of facing the front and of course we were late (always with the ex) and there was no way I could kneel for the kneeling bits even steve who is skinny as had trouble getting into them
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Old 05-10-2010, 10:17 AM   #18
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With 77 inches of hips/belly I used to get stuck almost everywhere,I have the solution,I stay indoors and dont go out unless it is absolutely essential
and I am happy right here....
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Old 05-10-2010, 11:12 AM   #19
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I recently had the experience of trying to fit in a resturant booth..i had to contort myself to sit in it and eep it's awful isn't it. :\
maybe this is a function of my age, but now, I just say: Yeah, this isn't gonna work for me: if I think it'll be uncomfortable. This works most of the time.
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Old 05-10-2010, 11:14 AM   #20
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maybe this is a function of my age, but now, I just say: Yeah, this isn't gonna work for me: if I think it'll be uncomfortable. This works most of the time.
Yes, if it doesn't clearly look like a fit (or I already know from experience in that place) I'll just ask them to quietly find me an appropriate seat. Or I'll go somewhere more fat friendly.
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Old 05-10-2010, 07:09 PM   #21
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Yes, if it doesn't clearly look like a fit (or I already know from experience in that place) I'll just ask them to quietly find me an appropriate seat. Or I'll go somewhere more fat friendly.
ditto the above although some places dont have their tables bolted to the floor so in that case I just move the table slide in the move it back
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Old 05-10-2010, 09:56 PM   #22
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ditto the above although some places dont have their tables bolted to the floor so in that case I just move the table slide in the move it back
I do the exact same thing. In fact, it's a plus for me if the place has non-bolted down tables
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Old 05-11-2010, 12:15 AM   #23
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maybe this is a function of my age, but now, I just say: Yeah, this isn't gonna work for me: if I think it'll be uncomfortable. This works most of the time.
I think at the time i was too embarrassed. it's the first time i've had that problem. next time i'll definately tell them that i want a different table cause that was so uncomfortable !
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Old 12-03-2011, 09:24 AM   #24
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it was weakend by many and many people over the years, at least they know to fix it.
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Old 12-04-2011, 12:59 AM   #25
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I guess I am not massively big at 225lbs but I managed to break my friends toilet seat....haha which was a little bit awkward!
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