Dimensions Forums  
Home Register Premium Membership Stories Ye Olde Library Health Issues Market Place Big Fashion

Go Back   Dimensions Forums > Archives > Hyde Park (Archive Only)



 
 
Thread Tools
Old 05-09-2010, 11:05 AM   #1
KittyKitten
Nerdysillysweetspicysaucy
 
KittyKitten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 4,017
KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default Interracial dating bw/wm more open in Europe than in America?

In Europe, it seems white men are not afraid to date black women. And many black women overseas don't have those hangups about interracial dating like you see in America. When you read the profile of many African actors, much of the time, their mother is black African while their father is non black.

Why is it many American white men are not open to dating black women and vice versa?

Read this passage I found on one interracial dating site by a white American female college student:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Shocked by British men's choice..what is WRONG WITH MEN IN EUROPE?"

I'm a college student here in the U.S and this summer I did the "studying abroad" like most universities have. There were about 45 students this summer from the business school in my University.

I'm 23 years and I consider myself a good looking girl because I take care of myself. I do not look down on others or races. I'm obvious white, 115 pounds, 5"5" tall, 36 bust. In college i have a lot of guys going after me and my friends.

This summer the study abroad was in london. We were so excited about being in london and meeting good looking british guys. To our surprise, we found that european men preferred to go after black women. This was shocking and such an eye opener to me and my white girl friends.

We went to pubs, clubs, restaurants. lounges and some other fancy places. It was the same. They bought drinks for them. Thats not to say that white men did not hit on white girls just that seemed to be on equal grounds. Which is good but surprising because this does not usually happen in america.

OUR GROUP:

our group of girls had 3 white girls and 2 African American girls. I'm not racist. Even in school this is our usual circle of friends. We travelled together in Europe and every where else.

WHAT HAPPENED:

Every time we went out, the british white guys would mostly be after the African American girls
. My African American girls are also pretty. It's just that it shocked us the white American girls. We thought, we would be the first pick. I guess we are used to the white American guys not appraoching black girls, I thought it would be the same there."

CONCLUSION:

Not all but from what we experienced we learned that european men view women of all races in the same way or view black women in better light than white american men. This happened when we went to France, Ireland, Scotland, Switerland, Italy and Germany.

Bare in mind that there are a lot black british people in the U.K. I have lived with black people for as long as we have.

I had a good time though. I learned a lot about other people and culture.

Source: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/in...9081827AAEON3z

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Time after time, many of my black girlfriends travel to Europe and they are surprised by how open the white men in those countries are to interracial dating unlike in America. Dark skin is appreciated unlike in America where the beauty of black women is under-appreciated or even abhored. Anyone from a nation outside of America have a comment?
__________________
"I'm making a political statement every time I make my ass clap" - Ru Paul

Last edited by KittyKitten; 05-09-2010 at 11:16 AM.
KittyKitten is offline  
Old 05-09-2010, 01:41 PM   #2
lozonloz
 
lozonloz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Suffolk UK/London
Posts: 270
lozonloz knows EXACTLY what's going onlozonloz knows EXACTLY what's going onlozonloz knows EXACTLY what's going onlozonloz knows EXACTLY what's going onlozonloz knows EXACTLY what's going onlozonloz knows EXACTLY what's going onlozonloz knows EXACTLY what's going on
Default

Hmmm

Well I'm British and if these girls were in London, then many races do tend to mix fairly easily. It's just a given. If a white guy likes black girls it's not a big deal, and vice versa. I have a cousin that is as white as white can be but just doesnt find white guys attractive. She only dates dark skinned guys (usually black or asian) and no-one in our family or her friends has issue with that. We do tend to tease her because if we see a large good looking black guy in a club we know she's going to make a beeline for him, but it's friendly teasing you get over any preference like red headed girls or rugby players and so on. It's just what you like.

On the other hand my brother is not attracted to 95% of black women, he goes for tall blondes. Again, it's a preference thing. I dont think that European guys like black girls more at all, just that it's considered OK to state your preference or if you dont have one to hit on whoever you happen to find attractive regardless of race, so they do when American's wouldnt.

I think that perhaps it's more acceptable here to date outside your race because we have less history of racial tension that the States. Don't get me wrong, it's there, and it can be very bad in some areas, but generally speaking most people dont see it. My mother grew up in South London and was shocked when she moved to rural areas that none of her neighbours were black- it was weird for her.
__________________
Raised by wolves, but fostered by sloths.
lozonloz is offline  
Old 05-09-2010, 01:54 PM   #3
msbard90
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 1,337
msbard90 makes people happy simply by logging inmsbard90 makes people happy simply by logging inmsbard90 makes people happy simply by logging inmsbard90 makes people happy simply by logging inmsbard90 makes people happy simply by logging inmsbard90 makes people happy simply by logging inmsbard90 makes people happy simply by logging inmsbard90 makes people happy simply by logging inmsbard90 makes people happy simply by logging in
Default

In the US, we still have radical racial hatred groups. The KKK is still here, although their voice isn't as prominent as say in the 1800's. In the southeastern US, there are people who still believe in the confederacy and white pride. If you are a white person growing up in an urban area and try to assimilate with colored people, you're considered a "wigger" or "white trash". There is a lot of racism in the US, especially when you leave the east coast and the west coast. Even though the US went through many a civil rights movement, there is still great hostility over here. We should probably take a hint from Europe.
msbard90 is offline  
Old 05-09-2010, 02:12 PM   #4
qwertyman173
Andy from UK
 
qwertyman173's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: London
Posts: 605
qwertyman173 carries a lot of weight on this boardqwertyman173 carries a lot of weight on this boardqwertyman173 carries a lot of weight on this boardqwertyman173 carries a lot of weight on this boardqwertyman173 carries a lot of weight on this board
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by msbard90 View Post
The KKK is still here, although their voice isn't as prominent as say in the 1800's.
Something about that sentence seems funny. The 1800s were a long time ago, yet it is phrased as if it was only a few years ago

Anyway, my opinion on the subject is why would you want to limit yourself? If you like somebody, go for it, regardless of race!
__________________
Hakuna Matata :)
qwertyman173 is offline  
Old 05-09-2010, 03:00 PM   #5
Edens_heel
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,126
Edens_heel is a pillar of the Dimensions communityEdens_heel is a pillar of the Dimensions communityEdens_heel is a pillar of the Dimensions communityEdens_heel is a pillar of the Dimensions communityEdens_heel is a pillar of the Dimensions communityEdens_heel is a pillar of the Dimensions communityEdens_heel is a pillar of the Dimensions communityEdens_heel is a pillar of the Dimensions communityEdens_heel is a pillar of the Dimensions communityEdens_heel is a pillar of the Dimensions communityEdens_heel is a pillar of the Dimensions community
Default

I'm a white Canadian male and my partner is a black American woman - so we've got the country diversity, the size diversity (she's chubby, I'm skinny), and racial diversity. One thing we've noticed is when we are up here, in BC, we do not get much attention as a couple. Maybe the odd person will give an odd look, but it's pretty damn rare. In the states, however, things are different. She lives in LA, and pretty much from the very first date we had a number of years back we were subject to stares, awkward glances, and outright ignorance. Hell, in Vegas there was a black couple that stared at the two of us while we ate breakfast, their gaze never wavering, as if they wanted to cut our throats. We've had shit servers in restaurants, uncomfortable stares at amusement parks, and just general assholery like that.

Toss in the Tea Partiers, which are so obviously racist it fucking hurts your brain to think otherwise, and yeah, I think it's safe to say that America hasn't actually moved an inch towards racial equality. You just got better at hiding overt racism from the public eye.

Between race relations, absolute religious and political douchebaggery, and the gap between the rich and the poor, it's seriously time to consider a new civil war. As it stands, it's impossible to think of America as one country - you're fifty little countries

Last edited by Big Beautiful Dreamer; 05-10-2010 at 10:17 AM. Reason: inappropriate
Edens_heel is offline  
Old 05-09-2010, 03:04 PM   #6
Jes
is oddly aroused
 
Jes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 12,553
Jes has ascended what used to be the highest level.Jes has ascended what used to be the highest level.Jes has ascended what used to be the highest level.Jes has ascended what used to be the highest level.Jes has ascended what used to be the highest level.Jes has ascended what used to be the highest level.Jes has ascended what used to be the highest level.Jes has ascended what used to be the highest level.Jes has ascended what used to be the highest level.Jes has ascended what used to be the highest level.Jes has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by happyface83 View Post
This summer the study abroad was in london. We were so excited about being in london and meeting good looking british guys. To our surprise, we found that european men preferred to go after black women. This was shocking and such an eye opener to me and my white girl friends. ?
Let me ask you a serious question, here. Do you honestly think that one single college student, describing her own experiences, can make a statement about all European men? Even gay ones? Even gay European men prefer to go after black women? Or is it just men in Europe, whether they're from Europe or not?

I mean, c'mon now, Happy. I have no doubt that you're a bright woman. One person's experience (or 2, or 3) is not a scientifically proven fact. That's lunacy. This is an n=1 study (meaning: 1 subject) and there's no control group. Anecdotes can be interesting, and helpful, but they're proof of very little. This young woman's blog entry does not make her sound like a Rhodes scholar. Quoting her isn't your finest work.
Jes is offline  
Old 05-09-2010, 04:56 PM   #7
KittyKitten
Nerdysillysweetspicysaucy
 
KittyKitten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 4,017
KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jes View Post
Let me ask you a serious question, here. Do you honestly think that one single college student, describing her own experiences, can make a statement about all European men? Even gay ones? Even gay European men prefer to go after black women? Or is it just men in Europe, whether they're from Europe or not?

I mean, c'mon now, Happy. I have no doubt that you're a bright woman. One person's experience (or 2, or 3) is not a scientifically proven fact. That's lunacy. This is an n=1 study (meaning: 1 subject) and there's no control group. Anecdotes can be interesting, and helpful, but they're proof of very little. This young woman's blog entry does not make her sound like a Rhodes scholar. Quoting her isn't your finest work.
It's not just her experience, I just used her as one example of the many I've seen. I'm not crazy enough to see only one person's opinion and state that everyone shares it. Jes, I'm brighter than that. At 26, I have both an BS and an MS in the biological sciences. I'm not trying to brag, because I'm modest. I'm just putting it out there. I consider myself an observant person.

Witness the answers to many of the people on this board. I have also stated that my black girlfriends have seen the same phenomena when traveling aboard. I've read many blogs and forms of media and noticed the same occurrence. The rates of interracial marriages between black women and white men in America compared to Europe speaks for itself. The men I have dated in my life have been black, Hispanic, or Arab. I don't discriminate against anyone.

And you know what, perhaps it's not only the white American men as I've said it is vice versa. Many of the black American women here shut off to white men and say they only want chocolate. And you wonder why so many black women are single waiting for that black man to come to them. You can't go around shutting off men who are potentially good mates.

Statistically, there are more black women than black men all due to the increasing incarceration rates and early deaths of black men. More black women tend to hold advanced degrees compared to their black male counterparts as well. Contrary to what some racists may think, many black women are college-educated, and just like any other women, wish to date and marry men on their own level.

These two races of people (bw and wm) have a problem with each other in the dating world in this country that is not seen (as strongly) in other parts of the world. It's not surprising. Look at the black women in the media often depicted as 'sexy', they are usually caramel skinned and lighter, with long hair. These are features that are Euro-centric. Dark-skinned black women are constantly painted as MASCULINE, ROWDY....UGLY. Even the First Lady was villainized as that dreaded "angry black woman". Meanwhile, Alek Wek, the ebony-skinned Sudanese Supermodel, is dating a white European man. She is also quite famous in Europe. Here in America, she is called ugly!

I have never ever said things were perfect outside of America, I don't know where you got that idea. So far, the responses have been really on point. I'm just throwing this out there because this is a very interesting topic. I don't want anyone coming at me with daggers on this thread. Please don't get defensive. We're just talking here.
__________________
"I'm making a political statement every time I make my ass clap" - Ru Paul

Last edited by KittyKitten; 05-09-2010 at 05:10 PM.
KittyKitten is offline  
Old 05-09-2010, 05:48 PM   #8
superodalisque
 
superodalisque's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: atlanta
Posts: 7,580
superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

i'm not sure that its that much different anymore. maybe its more of an age factor. i'm 46 and men outside of my race aren't hesitating in the least and i live in Georgia. maybe its different among students. but where i teach here in GA interracial dating isn't that unusual. and even in rural areas it isn't totally unheard of.

here African American women are much more likely to turn down men outside of their race. i'm one of a very few of my African American female friends who'll sometimes date outside of my race. most don't at all. its not that they aren't asked. its not exactly smiled upon to bring an Anglo home. most caucasian men here would jump at the chance to date a black women but they are afraid to be turned down--which most of them are.

as for Europe interracial dating is easier just because they didn't have to go through the civil rights movement. most of those countries ended slavery well before we did. a lot of them even have a sense of self righteousness about that. they also didn't follow their African emancipations with many years of heavy social prejudice against black people. sure they had and still do have racism. African American women still don't date them often. i know a lot of my male friends who are Europeans are always bemoaning the difficulty of dating an African American woman. its easy for them to have a chance with a Jamaican or an African woman, but African American women just don't bite very often. but i think the real difference is that they are more used to having their advances accepted. also they don't get rebuffed as much by women of their own race as was said before for dating outside of it.

African American women don't really equate someone wanting to pick them up at a bar and take them home that night with truly knowing that a guy feels they are equal. men of different races have always been attracted to black women. it just so happens that now the only way they are going to have access is by doing it in public. so thats what they are doing. African American women tend to need proof because they really don't just want to be a new "experience" or bragging rights for somebody instead of a person. European guys hardly ever come at you from the "i always wanted to be with a black girl" angle. so that might get them more play that makes them more confident about approaching as well.
__________________
Ayn Rand: "An emotion that clashes with your reason, an emotion that you cannot explain or control, is only the carcass of that stale thinking which you forbade your mind to revise."

Last edited by superodalisque; 05-09-2010 at 06:15 PM.
superodalisque is offline  
Old 05-09-2010, 05:59 PM   #9
KittyKitten
Nerdysillysweetspicysaucy
 
KittyKitten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 4,017
KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

There are some great responses here. Everyone is on point.
__________________
"I'm making a political statement every time I make my ass clap" - Ru Paul
KittyKitten is offline  
Old 05-09-2010, 06:10 PM   #10
KittyKitten
Nerdysillysweetspicysaucy
 
KittyKitten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 4,017
KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by superodalisque View Post
i'm not sure that its that much different anymore. maybe its more of an age factor. i'm 46 and men outside of my race aren't hesitating in the least and i live in Georgia. maybe its different among students. but where i teach here in GA interracial dating isn't that unusual. and even in rural areas it isn't totally unheard of.

here African American women are much more likely to turn down men outside of their race. i'm one of a very few of my African American female friends who'll sometimes date outside of my race. most don't at all. its not that they aren't asked. its not exactly smiled upon to bring an Anglo home. most caucasian men here would jump at the chance to date a black women but they are afraid to be turned down--which most of them are.

as for Europe interracial dating is easier just because they didn't have to go through the civil rights movement. most of those countries ended slavery well before we did. a lot of them even have a sense of self righteousness about that. they also didn't follow their African emancipations with many years of heavy social prejudice against black people. sure they had and still do have racism. African American women still don't date them often. i know a lot of my male friends who are Europeans are always bemoaning the difficulty of dating an African American woman. its easy for them to have a chance with a Jamaican or an African woman, but African American women just don't bite very often. but i think the real difference is that they are more used to having their advances accepted. also they don't get rebuffed as much by women of their own race for dating outside of it.

African American women don't really equate someone wanting to pick them up at a bar and take them home that night with truly knowing that a guy feels they are equal. men of different races have always been attracted to black women. it just so happens that now the only way they are going to have access is by doing it in public. so thats what they are doing. African American women tend to need proof because they really don't just want to be a new "experience" or bragging rights for somebody instead of a person. European guys hardly ever come at you from the "i always wanted to be with a black girl" angle. so that might get them more play that makes them more confident about approaching as well.
And like I said, many black women are apprehensive about dating outside their race in this country. They are fed by certain forces to think that non black men ONLY want them as experimentation and would not take them seriously--and to stick with black men. Meanwhile, black men sure do not have ANY hangups about dating any race of women they find attractive.
__________________
"I'm making a political statement every time I make my ass clap" - Ru Paul
KittyKitten is offline  
Old 05-09-2010, 06:21 PM   #11
mountaindew
Do the Dewyliciousness!
 
mountaindew's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 2,019
mountaindew is a member of the 500 clubmountaindew is a member of the 500 clubmountaindew is a member of the 500 clubmountaindew is a member of the 500 clubmountaindew is a member of the 500 clubmountaindew is a member of the 500 club
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Edens_heel View Post
Toss in the Tea Partiers, which are so obviously racist it fucking hurts your brain to think otherwise, and yeah, I think it's safe to say that America hasn't actually moved an inch towards racial equality. You just got better at hiding overt racism from the public eye.

Between race relations, absolute religious and political douchebaggery, and the gap between the rich and the poor, it's seriously time to consider a new civil war. As it stands, it's impossible to think of America as one country.
I think I would know my own movement and my own country better than a Canadian.

Just to offer an alternative viewpoint, the youth in America bend over backwards to be racially tolerant in America. Some of the adults are behind on the times, but kids get that there's nothing seperating them.

Last edited by Big Beautiful Dreamer; 05-10-2010 at 10:18 AM. Reason: response to deleted post
mountaindew is offline  
Old 05-09-2010, 06:27 PM   #12
superodalisque
 
superodalisque's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: atlanta
Posts: 7,580
superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by happyface83 View Post
And like I said, many black women are apprehensive about dating outside their race in this country. They are fed by certain forces to think that non black men ONLY want them as experimentation and would not take them seriously--and to stick with black men. Meanwhile, black men sure do not have ANY hangups about dating any race of women they find attractive.
thats true. some guys are nuts because they think black women should be saving themselves for marriage with them while they play around with others. which is really unfair because women of all races are marriageable and lovable no matter their color. some of them figure it out after they fall for somebody. but a few guys with bad intentions just go around using people they feel they can get away with it with because that somehow doesn't count in the black community--like a freebee where they won't be held to as harsh a standard.

but a guy who is not black here will say things to us as black women like" i always wanted to date a black woman". thats an immediate turn off. i doubt very seriously if women who aren't black here run around saying "i always wanted to date a black man". if they did they'd probably be at home waiting too--unless the guy was a nogoodnick anyway. women are just more sensible about stuff like that. for some reason men in general, no matter their race, are not very careful about what they say to women. thats probably a huge issue as well. its just a big red flag and some guys just wave it.
__________________
Ayn Rand: "An emotion that clashes with your reason, an emotion that you cannot explain or control, is only the carcass of that stale thinking which you forbade your mind to revise."

Last edited by superodalisque; 05-09-2010 at 06:31 PM.
superodalisque is offline  
Old 05-09-2010, 06:31 PM   #13
mountaindew
Do the Dewyliciousness!
 
mountaindew's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 2,019
mountaindew is a member of the 500 clubmountaindew is a member of the 500 clubmountaindew is a member of the 500 clubmountaindew is a member of the 500 clubmountaindew is a member of the 500 clubmountaindew is a member of the 500 club
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by superodalisque View Post
i doubt very seriously if women who aren't black here run around saying "i always wanted to date a black man". if they did they'd probably be at home waiting too--unless the guy was a nogoodnick anway. women are just more sensible about stuff like that.
Actually, there seems to be a growing trend of non-black girls who are openly fascinated with "getting some chocolate" because of the macho stigma that can follow black men.
mountaindew is offline  
Old 05-09-2010, 06:32 PM   #14
TraciJo67
On Timeout
 
TraciJo67's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Minnesoooota
Posts: 4,880
TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by mountaindew View Post
Umm...fuck you? Glad you're just some asshat mouthing off on the net than someone who actually knows what they're talking about. I think I would know my own movement and my own country better than a Canadian.

Just to offer an alternative viewpoint, the youth in America bend over backwards to be racially tolerant in America. Some of the adults are behind on the times, but kids get that there's nothing seperating them.
Should they get a gold star for "bending over backwards" to be "tolerant"? Seems that this should be so much the norm that it's yawn-worthy to even highlight it.
TraciJo67 is offline  
Old 05-09-2010, 06:35 PM   #15
superodalisque
 
superodalisque's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: atlanta
Posts: 7,580
superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by mountaindew View Post
Actually, there seems to be a growing trend of non-black girls who are openly fascinated with "getting some chocolate" because of the macho stigma that can follow black men.
yes, black men do have a very serious macho culture that a lot of women find extremely attractive. sometimes women don't want men to act so much like them. it can be really attractive to women to have fearless manly men around. it can be such a relief and a rest. and that is especially true in the BBW community. its refreshing for them to be with men without shame. so some women will naturally get intoxicated by that. i know exactly where they are coming from. even if a woman thinks that she always wanted a black man she isn't going to say that to a quality guy right off the bat. she might say it at a bash to someone who she's only looking for a one night stand with. he'll know exactly what she's talking about. they can make a choice together depending on what they both want. but there are a lot of biracial relationships going on and not just one night trysts , so there is more being said than things like that.
__________________
Ayn Rand: "An emotion that clashes with your reason, an emotion that you cannot explain or control, is only the carcass of that stale thinking which you forbade your mind to revise."

Last edited by superodalisque; 05-09-2010 at 06:41 PM.
superodalisque is offline  
Old 05-09-2010, 06:43 PM   #16
mountaindew
Do the Dewyliciousness!
 
mountaindew's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 2,019
mountaindew is a member of the 500 clubmountaindew is a member of the 500 clubmountaindew is a member of the 500 clubmountaindew is a member of the 500 clubmountaindew is a member of the 500 clubmountaindew is a member of the 500 club
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by TraciJo67 View Post
Should they get a gold star for "bending over backwards" to be "tolerant"? Seems that this should be so much the norm that it's yawn-worthy to even highlight it.
That's not what I mean. It is the norm, and people are vigorous about defending the norm, which can be the social case whether there's bigotry present or not. But typically you do not experience or feel racial tension.
mountaindew is offline  
Old 05-09-2010, 06:49 PM   #17
TraciJo67
On Timeout
 
TraciJo67's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Minnesoooota
Posts: 4,880
TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.TraciJo67 has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by mountaindew View Post
That's not what I mean. It is the norm, and people are vigorous about defending the norm.


I love my country, and I believe that many of our citizens are good people with good intentions. I also have a son who is a racial and ethnic minority, and I'm not quite as starry-eyed as you seem to be. While I'm not quite as pessimistic as edens_heels, I can absolutely see why he'd feel the way that he does. Examples of that unique brand of American arrogance and ignorance are well on display all over Hyde Park. And yes, plenty of examples of overt racism, as well.
TraciJo67 is offline  
Old 05-09-2010, 07:02 PM   #18
mountaindew
Do the Dewyliciousness!
 
mountaindew's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 2,019
mountaindew is a member of the 500 clubmountaindew is a member of the 500 clubmountaindew is a member of the 500 clubmountaindew is a member of the 500 clubmountaindew is a member of the 500 clubmountaindew is a member of the 500 club
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by TraciJo67 View Post
I love my country, and I believe that many of our citizens are good people with good intentions. I also have a son who is a racial and ethnic minority, and I'm not quite as starry-eyed as you seem to be. While I'm not quite as pessimistic as edens_heels, I can absolutely see why he'd feel the way that he does. Examples of that unique brand of American arrogance and ignorance are well on display all over Hyde Park. And yes, plenty of examples of overt racism, as well.
Of course, in the polarizing atmosphere of Hyde Park. But out there, at least 90% of kids would never give anyone grief over race. I see what you're saying, that the differences are still stark and out there for people to see, but I don't think it divides the way people insinuate, and these kids (who are a generation away from the unique brand of arrogance, even if they're brought up with it) would have few personal reservations with dating another gender, and especially in college where I attend a very diverse and inter-diverse campus of people from over 90 nations. But at a younger age, the obstacle for dating kids would be bring the love interest home to bigoted mom & dad, who can take issue with what dating another race can mean. and yes, I am speaking in part from experience. But looking back at eden_heels' experience, and I must put a disclaimer that we're still a generation away, that's how I really feel.
mountaindew is offline  
Old 05-09-2010, 08:46 PM   #19
Cors
Delurking
 
Cors's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Europe
Posts: 2,762
Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Asian chick living in the UK and I agree with your observations.

I do get hit on by White men and women in the US, but it is almost always done in an exotifying way ("Oh wow you speak fluent English! Oh can you cook [insert name of Americanized Chinese dish]? Are you submissive in bed? Do you know kung fu?") which I hate. People who hit on me here in UK and Europe generally don't mention my race. Interracial couples are pretty much everywhere and nobody bats an eyelid. I have heard that certain parts of the UK are more racist but it is not something I have personally experienced.

Last edited by Cors; 05-09-2010 at 08:49 PM.
Cors is offline  
Old 05-09-2010, 10:08 PM   #20
Webmaster
Chief Emeritus
 
Webmaster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Knoxville, TN area
Posts: 2
Webmaster has ascended what used to be the highest level.Webmaster has ascended what used to be the highest level.Webmaster has ascended what used to be the highest level.Webmaster has ascended what used to be the highest level.Webmaster has ascended what used to be the highest level.Webmaster has ascended what used to be the highest level.Webmaster has ascended what used to be the highest level.Webmaster has ascended what used to be the highest level.Webmaster has ascended what used to be the highest level.Webmaster has ascended what used to be the highest level.Webmaster has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

As someone who grew up in Europe but has been living in the United States for most of his adult life, I feel compelled to answer. My own experience is by no means representative, but here it is anyway:

I was brought up in a really weird country (Switzerland) that is both ultra-traditional (it was founded in 1291) and remarkably tolerant (we have four official languages and somehow all get along). I grew up seeing almost nothing but my fellow Swiss people, but viewing other cultures as wondrously different and exotic, always in a good way. My mom and dad did that, instilling in me a belief that there's so much out there to see and experience, and that the world out there is such a treat.

So I always saw differences in color and features as just an enticing difference in the human experience, something to cherish and desire and learn about.

I was totally naive in terms of racial issues and what to expect when I came to the United States. I recall a suave gentleman talking to me when I was about to board my first-ever plane to the US. He was black American and made some remarks that sounded jaded and bitter. I wondered why.

My first girlfriend in the US was black, only I really did not notice. To me, she was this vibrant, unique, wonderful fat woman that simply enthralled me. Race was not an issue at all, though I quickly found it was to her. But I convinced her and we became an item.

I recall a train ride from upstate New York to Montreal with her and her social group where I was the only white person, and I got looks and comments that I did not understand. In Montreal, I found my honey and I were not welcome in places where I, as a total newcomer to this whole American thing, was. She blew it off. I could not. So that was my intro.

Jackie taught me an awful lot. More than she probably ever thought she would. When she and I were together I told her it was no big deal; in a few decades everyone would simply be a shade of brown. I was so very wrong. It is a big deal, and it's so totally shameful.

MLK, we need you back.
Webmaster is offline  
Old 05-09-2010, 10:18 PM   #21
mountaindew
Do the Dewyliciousness!
 
mountaindew's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 2,019
mountaindew is a member of the 500 clubmountaindew is a member of the 500 clubmountaindew is a member of the 500 clubmountaindew is a member of the 500 clubmountaindew is a member of the 500 clubmountaindew is a member of the 500 club
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Webmaster View Post
MLK, we need you back.
Agree 100%, his example will always be extraordinary.
mountaindew is offline  
Old 05-09-2010, 10:27 PM   #22
superodalisque
 
superodalisque's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: atlanta
Posts: 7,580
superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Webmaster View Post
As someone who grew up in Europe but has been living in the United States for most of his adult life, I feel compelled to answer. My own experience is by no means representative, but here it is anyway:

I was brought up in a really weird country (Switzerland) that is both ultra-traditional (it was founded in 1291) and remarkably tolerant (we have four official languages and somehow all get along). I grew up seeing almost nothing but my fellow Swiss people, but viewing other cultures as wondrously different and exotic, always in a good way. My mom and dad did that, instilling in me a belief that there's so much out there to see and experience, and that the world out there is such a treat.

So I always saw differences in color and features as just an enticing difference in the human experience, something to cherish and desire and learn about.

I was totally naive in terms of racial issues and what to expect when I came to the United States. I recall a suave gentleman talking to me when I was about to board my first-ever plane to the US. He was black American and made some remarks that sounded jaded and bitter. I wondered why.

My first girlfriend in the US was black, only I really did not notice. To me, she was this vibrant, unique, wonderful fat woman that simply enthralled me. Race was not an issue at all, though I quickly found it was to her. But I convinced her and we became an item.

I recall a train ride from upstate New York to Montreal with her and her social group where I was the only white person, and I got looks and comments that I did not understand. In Montreal, I found my honey and I were not welcome in places where I, as a total newcomer to this whole American thing, was. She blew it off. I could not. So that was my intro.

Jackie taught me an awful lot. More than she probably ever thought she would. When she and I were together I told her it was no big deal; in a few decades everyone would simply be a shade of brown. I was so very wrong. It is a big deal, and it's so totally shameful.

MLK, we need you back.
tg things have changed quite a bit. i've dated swedes, swiss, italians all kinds. people look here but its more curiosity than hatred. i saw that look as a girl in alabama and thats not it. oh yeah, one of my very best friends in elementary school was a girl named Anna who is swiss. she was totally enthralled by our differences in a nice way. first thing she asked me when we met was could she touch my hair, which was natural at the time. she and a few of my other lil black gfs made her our soul sister in the true sense. she even tried to get her hair to look like ours. sweetest girl i ever knew and is just as sweet as a grown up woman.
__________________
Ayn Rand: "An emotion that clashes with your reason, an emotion that you cannot explain or control, is only the carcass of that stale thinking which you forbade your mind to revise."
superodalisque is offline  
Old 05-09-2010, 11:13 PM   #23
exile in thighville
groups/347570880589/
 
exile in thighville's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,993
exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by happyface83 View Post
Why is it many American white men are not open to dating black women and vice versa?
i'm sure the answer's in a book, but if you started reading those you probably wouldn't make up questions like this
exile in thighville is offline  
Old 05-09-2010, 11:18 PM   #24
exile in thighville
groups/347570880589/
 
exile in thighville's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,993
exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!exile in thighville keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

i'm really genuinely shocked so many of you consider this a big deal

my first fatty was black and twice my age, it was pretty awesome
exile in thighville is offline  
Old 05-10-2010, 12:16 AM   #25
bigmac
 
bigmac's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Redwood Coast
Posts: 10,364
bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by happyface83 View Post

Why is it many American white men are not open to dating black women and vice versa?

I think it may have to due with the fact that many white American men haven't had much interaction with black women. Using myself as an example -- I never dated a black woman -- not because I don't find them attractive, but because I never had the chance to meet many. I grew up in a region with a minuscule black population and went to colleges with few blacks. Thus I dated, whites, Asians, American Indians, and Hispanics -- but not blacks. When I've traveled I've seen many very attractive black ladies but never got the opportunity to get to know any in any depth.

In contrast -- when I was in the Army I shared a dorm with a white guy from LA who only dated black girls -- he grew up in a predominantly black neighborhood so he had lots of chances to meet and interact with black women.
bigmac is offline  
 

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:19 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright Dimensions Magazine. All rights reserved worldwide.