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Old 05-25-2010, 09:31 AM   #1
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Default BBWs Only -Hairstyles and how men act towards you-Do they play a role in attraction?

Have you ladies seen a difference on how you are treated or approached by men based on your hairstyle? I'm not talking about messed up hair like you woke up from bed, but regular styles.


My hair is naturally black, thick, and long but I like to play with color and change up my styles including addition of hair pieces.

I have noticed when my hair was dark and wavy like this:

http://www.misswigs.com/image/produc...and-Girl-1.jpg

I had more guys approaching me and acting sweet.

When my hair was in spiral curls, I also received lots of male attention.

When I had this golden color and style:

https://www.bhowigs.com/shop/files/master/d_1933.jpg

I got less male attention.
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Old 05-25-2010, 10:31 AM   #2
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That's interesting indeed. I have naturally very thick and curly hair. I've spent my whole life finding ways to make it straight lol. I feel more confident when my hair is straight, I have no idea why, but every now and then I like to mix it up with curls. I find that I get more male attention when its long and straight also. IDK why this is. I once remember reading something on a website dedicated to curly haired girls, and there was a show years ago with a love coach on it and it was called 'You want to date a millionaire' or something like that. Anyway the love coach proceeded to tell all the girls with curly hair to get hold of a flat Iron and make sure your hair is straight at all times, because NO GUY wants a girl with curly hair. They want a girl with straight hair so they can run their fingers through it, or some absurd statement along those lines. Well needless to say the curly haired community was PISSED about this statement. But I have often wondered if there was some truth behind what she said.
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Old 05-25-2010, 10:43 AM   #3
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That's interesting indeed. I have naturally very thick and curly hair. I've spent my whole life finding ways to make it straight lol. I feel more confident when my hair is straight, I have no idea why, but every now and then I like to mix it up with curls. I find that I get more male attention when its long and straight also. IDK why this is. I once remember reading something on a website dedicated to curly haired girls, and there was a show years ago with a love coach on it and it was called 'You want to date a millionaire' or something like that. Anyway the love coach proceeded to tell all the girls with curly hair to get hold of a flat Iron and make sure your hair is straight at all times, because NO GUY wants a girl with curly hair. They want a girl with straight hair so they can run their fingers through it, or some absurd statement along those lines. Well needless to say the curly haired community was PISSED about this statement. But I have often wondered if there was some truth behind what she said.
Wow, I guess it depends on the person. But you look beautiful either way.

People say I look sexy with curly or wavy hairstyles because it highlights the sparks in my eye and gives me spunk. I felt boring with straight hair and I felt it didn't highlight the bone structure of my face.
Another silly thing, I have a caramel skin tone and when my hair is curly, alot of guys say I look 'exotic from the Caribbean islands or Brazil'. It's strange. Maybe it's that mysticism that attracts guys to me when my hair is curly.

I go weak for guys with curly hair/afros! Curly hair is sexy and cool. And I got more attention when my hair was dark than when I highlighted it auburn like in that second pic. But that's probably because women of color tend to look better with dark hair.
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Old 05-25-2010, 10:52 AM   #4
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My hair has been all different lengths (including shaved!) and pretty much every color of the rainbow... but guys still call me a dirty hippie.
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Old 05-25-2010, 02:35 PM   #5
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Not that I've had a ton of opportunity to judge this, but I think guys are the most flirty with me when I wear my hair long. It's currently about 2 inches above my waist and curly (it's too much hassle trying to straighten it in an Illinois summer) and I've noticed more guys talking to me than when I had it in one of those short angled 'dos. Of course, it could be because I feel more confident when I have long hair- it hides the back of my neck and my ears, which I don't like, and I also like to toss it around sometimes. LOL

Also I think I am flirted with more when my hair is a normal color than when I had it one of my rainbow colors.
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Old 05-25-2010, 04:04 PM   #6
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I'm also pretty limited in my exploration of this phenomenon...but for my one contribution, I'll say that I find guys more flirtatious when I wear my hair down than when I wear it up. (But whether it's because they genuinely like it better, or because I usually feel sexier when it's down, is pretty much impossible to determine.)
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Old 05-25-2010, 05:12 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by Saoirse View Post
My hair has been all different lengths (including shaved!) and pretty much every color of the rainbow... but guys still call me a dirty hippie.
Well, I certainly hope they call you a dirty hippie with obvious desire in their eyes!
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Old 05-25-2010, 05:37 PM   #8
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Well, I certainly hope they call you a dirty hippie with obvious desire in their eyes!
yes, that's happened quite a few times!
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Old 05-25-2010, 08:26 PM   #9
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I have naturally very thick and curly hair. I've spent my whole life finding ways to make it straight lol. I feel more confident when my hair is straight, I have no idea why, but every now and then I like to mix it up with curls.

I have the exact opposite problem! My hair is naturally stick straight. Those little ladies at the mall kiosks come up to me and ask what I use to straighten my hair and are always shocked to hear, "Nothing. I rarely even blow-dry it." I always feel more confident when I hot roll my hair and have big bouncy curls. Maybe the saying about wanting what you can't have is true, lol.

As to the main question, my hair has been shoulder length or longer since I was thirteen because I can't stand short hair with my face shape. I've had it light ash blonde, my natural medium blonde, light brown, chocolate brown, auburn, and strawberry blonde. (Changing my hair color is a bit of an obsession for me.) Thankfully, my complexion works wonderfully for all of those shades so it never looks unnatural... the compliments on my red hair from women were non-stop and they were always shocked to discover it wasn't real. Men, on the other hand, seem to like me best as a blonde or lighter brunette. And they didn't seem to care so much when I curled my hair versus wore it naturally... they loved the dolled up look with curls and also loved it straight.

Only women like the awful perm my new stylist talked me into. It's horrid but thankfully my straight-doesn't-hold-anything hair is letting it fall out quickly.
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Old 05-25-2010, 11:22 PM   #10
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Interesting topic but I have no idea why men do anything!
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Old 05-25-2010, 11:28 PM   #11
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I have thick, brown, bone-straight hair. When it's long I can't do anything with it because it's so heavy. I seem to end up wearing it in a ponytail most of the time to keep it off my neck and face. I prefer my hair very short because it's comfortable and low-maintenance, but I do notice a significant drop in male attention whenever I get a haircut. Based on my interactions with guys before and after, I've come to think it's because many men associate long hair with femininity and passiveness and short hair with masculine characteristics like aggressiveness. I'm equally aggressive and generally unladylike() either way, but it seems like guys are willing to overlook my personality as long as my hair is long and my shirt is low-cut.
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Old 05-26-2010, 09:17 AM   #12
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I have thick, brown, bone-straight hair. When it's long I can't do anything with it because it's so heavy. I seem to end up wearing it in a ponytail most of the time to keep it off my neck and face. I prefer my hair very short because it's comfortable and low-maintenance, but I do notice a significant drop in male attention whenever I get a haircut. Based on my interactions with guys before and after, I've come to think it's because many men associate long hair with femininity and passiveness and short hair with masculine characteristics like aggressiveness. I'm equally aggressive and generally unladylike() either way, but it seems like guys are willing to overlook my personality as long as my hair is long and my shirt is low-cut.
But one of the first things they do in those makeover shows like What Not to Wear is chop up some lady's hair. Amber Rose has a shaved head and dudes go crazy for her. I think it's how your hair fits your face and its features as well as body--that's another important factor. Some women look overwhelmed with long hair while others don't look as good with short hair.
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Old 05-26-2010, 09:24 AM   #13
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I've had natural hair going on 5 years and have been loc'd for about 2.5. I have never lacked attention from men, but have noticed I get more now than I did when my hair was relaxed. Maybe it's because I exude more confidence now and I feel prettier with natural hair or maybe it's because the way I wear my hair is "me". Dunno. Either way, it doesn't matter since they are all barking up the wrong tree.

FWIW, my hair is very dark brown, super thick and full and cottony soft. I think the only time I noticed I didn't get as much attention was when my locs were in their baby stage and my hair was very very short. Now though I get glances, approving stares and come ons from men and women alike.
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Old 05-26-2010, 09:50 AM   #14
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My husband is very vocal about his preference for long hair. He would never tell me to grow my hair out because he's not that kind of guy. He often comments when an actress who had short hair for years grows it out, he gets all happy and says she looks much better.
I am someone who has gone through life with little/no attention from men so i only go off of what hubby likes. (serous here, i have been flirted with maybe 5 times in my life) He said i look cute with above shoulder length hair but he likes it longer. i like my hair longer because it's easier to throw into a bun or ponytail.
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Old 05-26-2010, 09:54 AM   #15
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My thing is that every time I tell a guy I am going to cut my hair they freak. To the point the even bargain with me. I had my hair in every way. Short, long, blond, red, brunette and now black. My natural hair is very curly. But i do not look good with curly hair because it never takes the Gel and it always ends up looking like an afro. So to me the best is to blow dry and flat iron. I got compliments when I cut my hair last summer but mostly girls. All the boys said it looked pretty but thats about it. However, they always said "you should let it grow". This really makes me wonder whats with boys and long hair?
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Old 05-26-2010, 11:10 AM   #16
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I've had natural hair going on 5 years and have been loc'd for about 2.5. I have never lacked attention from men, but have noticed I get more now than I did when my hair was relaxed. Maybe it's because I exude more confidence now and I feel prettier with natural hair or maybe it's because the way I wear my hair is "me". Dunno. Either way, it doesn't matter since they are all barking up the wrong tree.

FWIW, my hair is very dark brown, super thick and full and cottony soft. I think the only time I noticed I didn't get as much attention was when my locs were in their baby stage and my hair was very very short. Now though I get glances, approving stares and come ons from men and women alike.
Cool, when I had my hair in an afro, I got lots of stares and it seems that my boyfriends loved it.
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Old 05-26-2010, 11:12 AM   #17
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This really makes me wonder whats with boys and long hair?
Yeah, what's with that? I noticed in women's magazines, they love showcasing the cute, short cuts. But I keep hearing that men go wild for long hair. My hair is past shoulder length and I don't want to cut it.
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Old 05-26-2010, 11:50 AM   #18
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Well, as a fat woman....oh....oops.

carry on!
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Old 05-26-2010, 11:50 AM   #19
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Another one is how women's magazines tell them to minimize or de-emphasize large breasts with certain clothing, but men believe otherwise, lol. I go with the men, large breasts should never be minimized
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Old 05-26-2010, 01:58 PM   #20
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Well, as a fat woman....oh....oops.

carry on!
go ahead, what were you going to say? i'm curious about your experience.
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Old 05-26-2010, 03:31 PM   #21
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The men I have had the pleasure to date, are too busy staring at my shelf booty to notice my hair color, or length..not to mention eyes and smile, etc.

I once closed my eyes and asked they guy I was on a date with "What color are my eyes?" He said, "OMG I can't believe you are asking me that. They are the most beautiful shade of blue. Did you think I wouldn't notice? " I opened my eyes and said "Obviously you didn't, cos they are green. Now stop looking at my ass and pay attention to the rest of me." and he did.
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Old 05-27-2010, 07:57 AM   #22
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I once closed my eyes and asked they guy I was on a date with "What color are my eyes?" He said, "OMG I can't believe you are asking me that. They are the most beautiful shade of blue. Did you think I wouldn't notice? " I opened my eyes and said "Obviously you didn't, cos they are green.
haha. I had the reverse--spent days with someone then asked (here's a tip: never ask!). His answer: green. Real answer? BLUE.

Ah well. I think it's probably a mistake to base someone's level of interest (or attentiveness) in you on something like noticing eye color. Other things are more important...even if we DO wish they'd get it right.
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Old 05-27-2010, 08:38 AM   #23
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This really makes me wonder whats with boys and long hair?
I think it may be historical. If you look at photographs from the nineteenth century, the women are always wearing their hair up. Always. The custom was that you wore your hair up in public, and you only let it down for your husband (or lover). So this may be why it's acquired a sexual connotation. Incidentally, the ancient Romans followed the same practice, for whatever that's worth. I notice that a lot of women with long hair have it cut after they marry -- usually as soon as they return from the honeymoon -- and keep it short thereafter.
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Old 05-27-2010, 01:19 PM   #24
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I notice that a lot of women with long hair have it cut after they marry -- usually as soon as they return from the honeymoon -- and keep it short thereafter.
Do you find that to be true currently? I've never once seen it in any of my friends or acquaintances. Sometimes a new mother will cut long hair, perhaps b/c babies grab whatever they can! I'm not sure I entirely buy your idea which sounds a lot like: women use long hair to trap/get a man...

Long hair is a staple in the judeo-christian tradition. Hair being a woman's 'crowning glory' as said in the (i think) bible. So you kept it long, but pinned it up for the sake of practicality and safety (only very recently have some of the women of the world no longer needed to bend over the fire, plant in the fields or wash clothes in the river). And yes--when you let it down, only your intimates saw it, but that's b/c you did it at home. And, pinning your hair up affords a woman a whole new set of limitless styles.
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Old 05-27-2010, 01:43 PM   #25
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Yes I do.
I recently cut my hair really short, and I have notice that I get MORE attention, but that's not because of my hair it's because of the way, I carry myself. The men I have known in my life naturally like long hair, but let's face it you can be bald and attract a man if you have the confidence to carry it well! However that's just my opinion
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