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Old 06-30-2010, 07:59 AM   #51
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but in terms of SA events, organizations etc... rather than just an online situation i don't really feel most BBWs or BHMs feel they should have to tell an FA of any stripe to pipe down. i think its natural when people are making advances privately and they don't have experience that they could make a misstep. that might be especially true when someone hardly has any experiences outside of the porn website arena. but porn speak and porn thought should not be brought into SA at all since thats not what its about. SA is something public and not private.

unfortunately i think a lot of people confuse admiration with SA. it just makes it look like, even though it may not be 100% true, SA is about their right and opportunity to have it be acceptable to bag their own personal fatty and not about a fat person's right to live happily and comfortably in the world. besides all of that it makes BBWs and BHMs look sexually desperate to the public when all they are trying to get across is that they have practical and legal needs in the world. focusing too much on what is often couched as the almost universal lack of desirablity of a fat person bothers me a lot when it comes to SA because it is a false argument and damaging assumption to underscore.

dims is really not SA so you can't judge the FAs who are SA by dims. but if they do come here and go about in the world doing things that aren't really SA at their core they should not be surprised if people take exception and remember when they put on their SA badges. a guy is not always SA just because he thinks fat women are sexy. SA encompasses more than someone's sex drive. its about the rights of a fat person to live in the world unmolested--even by their admirers sometimes. not all admiration is SA since not all FAs who admire leave the objects of their affection feeling unmolested.
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Old 06-30-2010, 04:45 PM   #52
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Originally Posted by superodalisque View Post
...dims is really not SA so you can't judge the FAs who are SA by dims. ....
You are certainly entitled to your opinion and I am not entirely sure what you're trying to say here, but it's perhaps a bit condescending to proclaim Dimensions does not support size acceptance. It most emphatically does.
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Old 06-30-2010, 05:31 PM   #53
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I think she meant not that "Dims isn't a supporter of size acceptance" but more that this place doesn't solely and fervently focus on size acceptance.
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Old 06-30-2010, 06:31 PM   #54
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I think she meant not that "Dims isn't a supporter of size acceptance" but more that this place doesn't solely and fervently focus on size acceptance.
yes this is what i mean. no one would say that dims was NAAFA and it doesn't pretend to be. or at least that is what many members have always tried to get through my thick head anyway are they suddenly wrong now?
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Old 06-30-2010, 07:22 PM   #55
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yes this is what i mean. no one would say that dims was NAAFA and it doesn't pretend to be. or at least that is what many members have always tried to get through my thick head anyway are they suddenly wrong now?
Dimensions was created within NAAFA as a Special Interest Group with a newsletter and then magazine for those who love fat women, as well as a size-positive community and forum for fat people and their admirers. I split Dimensions off from NAAFA in 1988 so as not to affect NAAFA's more politically oriented approach to size acceptance. Dimensions remains, and has always been, in full and total support of size acceptance.
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Old 06-30-2010, 07:41 PM   #56
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Dimensions was created within NAAFA as a Special Interest Group with a newsletter and then magazine for those who love fat women, as well as a size-positive community and forum for fat people and their admirers. I split Dimensions off from NAAFA in 1988 so as not to affect NAAFA's more politically oriented approach to size acceptance. Dimensions remains, and has always been, in full and total support of size acceptance.
i'm very positive that a lot of people here support SA but it doesn't always mean its everyone's primary objective all of the time. on a continuim for some its 100% of their concern and for others its 0% of their concern. as much as SA may be close to the hearts of many it still doesn't make dims the exact same as NAAFA--no matter where it came from IMO. i'm not attacking dims when say its not NAAFA. it has its own concentration and purpose. thats simply the truth. i doubt if NAAFA would find the kind of sexual concentration appropriate here appropriate there and thats as it should be. if dims was NAAFA the two would not be separate and distinct entities. if you personally feel they are exactly the same thats up to you but i feel otherwise.
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Old 07-01-2010, 06:34 PM   #57
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Superodalisque has a very valid point. Although Dimensions may have started as a direct associate to NAAFA, it no longer is (as Conrad has said). The ideals of size acceptance and whatnot are for many users, especially FAs a mask for their fetish. The magazine, back in the days of its publication, was a mix of both the fetish and activist sectors in the fat community. But, can any one person honestly say that Dims is completely SA? No. Even the fetishists aren't SA. They make comments on the paysite board and picture threads, "how much bigger are you planning on getting", or "WOW you look so great now, compared to your before pics". That's not size acceptance. Not one bit. Making a woman not feel fat enough is not size acceptance, but it happens all the time on these boards. Any talk of SA is always derailed. There is no dedicated area to the actual topic of size acceptance and the activism and actual physical support behind it. I would love to be an activist for SA, as would other posters, and I feel that it would be of Dimensions Magazine's better interest to re-invite the political concept of size acceptance. Its not like this site is all fetishist anyways- there's hyde park (which in my opinion is one of the most ignorant and extremist sectors of this site). In order for Dimensions to be taken even a little bit more seriously, an actual effort to create a place for those who are commited to the SA movement to discuss actual SA issues should happen.
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Old 07-01-2010, 06:47 PM   #58
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Superodalisque has a very valid point. Although Dimensions may have started as a direct associate to NAAFA, it no longer is (as Conrad has said). The ideals of size acceptance and whatnot are for many users, especially FAs a mask for their fetish. The magazine, back in the days of its publication, was a mix of both the fetish and activist sectors in the fat community. But, can any one person honestly say that Dims is completely SA? No. Even the fetishists aren't SA. They make comments on the paysite board and picture threads, "how much bigger are you planning on getting", or "WOW you look so great now, compared to your before pics". That's not size acceptance. Not one bit. Making a woman not feel fat enough is not size acceptance, but it happens all the time on these boards. Any talk of SA is always derailed. There is no dedicated area to the actual topic of size acceptance and the activism and actual physical support behind it. I would love to be an activist for SA, as would other posters, and I feel that it would be of Dimensions Magazine's better interest to re-invite the political concept of size acceptance. Its not like this site is all fetishist anyways- there's hyde park (which in my opinion is one of the most ignorant and extremist sectors of this site). In order for Dimensions to be taken even a little bit more seriously, an actual effort to create a place for those who are commited to the SA movement to discuss actual SA issues should happen.
Bravo !!!!!! Exactly this. I'm still guilty of being a fetishist/FA but this explanation of FA vs SA and dimensions nailed it !!!!
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Old 07-02-2010, 08:35 AM   #59
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i'm very positive that a lot of people here support SA but it doesn't always mean its everyone's primary objective all of the time. on a continuim for some its 100% of their concern and for others its 0% of their concern. as much as SA may be close to the hearts of many it still doesn't make dims the exact same as NAAFA--no matter where it came from IMO. i'm not attacking dims when say its not NAAFA. it has its own concentration and purpose. thats simply the truth. i doubt if NAAFA would find the kind of sexual concentration appropriate here appropriate there and thats as it should be. if dims was NAAFA the two would not be separate and distinct entities. if you personally feel they are exactly the same thats up to you but i feel otherwise.
Of course, Dimensions is not the same as NAAFA, else, as explained, I would not have taken Dims out. NAAFA's original purpose was as follows:

a) Disseminate knowledge pertaining to the sociological, psychological, medical and physiological aspects of overweight as it becomes known.

b) Sponsor research by responsible professionals concerning the above aspects of overweight.

c) Assist the large number of people regarded by the medical profession as “incurably overweight,” as well as those others for whom permanent weight loss has remained elusive, to adapt to themselves, to live more effective lives within the framework of their own limitations, and to promote tolerance within society toward overweight people.

d) Serve as a forum whereby important problems affecting overweight people can be openly discussed in a climate unbiased by imposed esthetic standards, and solutions to these problems can be discovered and acted upon.

e) Give power to solicit, receive and maintain a fund or funds of real or personal property and expend same for corporate purposes.

Now there's always been a good degree of cognitive dissonance within NAAFA as to "live more effective lives" most likely includes the constitutionally supported inalienable right to pursuit of happiness, and that pursuit, for most, includes socializing and sexuality. NAAFA has also always been uneasy about relying on distinctly social events (gatherings and conventions) to pay for its operation and survival.

It's just not that simple to separate the two.
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Old 07-02-2010, 09:49 AM   #60
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Of course, Dimensions is not the same as NAAFA, else, as explained, I would not have taken Dims out. NAAFA's original purpose was as follows:

a) Disseminate knowledge pertaining to the sociological, psychological, medical and physiological aspects of overweight as it becomes known.

b) Sponsor research by responsible professionals concerning the above aspects of overweight.

c) Assist the large number of people regarded by the medical profession as “incurably overweight,” as well as those others for whom permanent weight loss has remained elusive, to adapt to themselves, to live more effective lives within the framework of their own limitations, and to promote tolerance within society toward overweight people.

d) Serve as a forum whereby important problems affecting overweight people can be openly discussed in a climate unbiased by imposed esthetic standards, and solutions to these problems can be discovered and acted upon.

e) Give power to solicit, receive and maintain a fund or funds of real or personal property and expend same for corporate purposes.

Now there's always been a good degree of cognitive dissonance within NAAFA as to "live more effective lives" most likely includes the constitutionally supported inalienable right to pursuit of happiness, and that pursuit, for most, includes socializing and sexuality. NAAFA has also always been uneasy about relying on distinctly social events (gatherings and conventions) to pay for its operation and survival.

It's just not that simple to separate the two.
its really good to finally see some concrete goals and areas of concentration pointed out. especially for people who have always asserted that dimensions really had no job in terms of SA other than sexuality and that people who brought SA into discussions about sexuality were being unrealistic somehow.

i agree that sexuality never has to be totally separated from SA. IMO its only important to know how when and where to use it most effectively. thats the place where sometimes FAs blow up their own credibility. it has nothing to do with BBWs not enjoying the fact that FAs admire fat women. its only a matter of knowing when to say when in order not to discredit oneself as an FA.

actually that has nothing much to do with dims or any other collection of people. its all about individual choices and actions. belonging to a group or a sexual designation built around fat people doesn't gives anyone an automatic pass card when it comes to actually being SA. its up to the individual FA to show his serious concern. if he does not do that anyone has the right of disbelief.
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Old 07-02-2010, 01:11 PM   #61
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Dear Conrad,
Please read my previous post. It had a decent proposition regarding the integration of SA to the dims community. I felt as if the suggestion was brushed off. Your feedback would be appreciated. Thank you.
Sincerely, me
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Old 07-02-2010, 01:22 PM   #62
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Being an FA isn't a sexual issue. It is just you prefer bigger girls. Like I prefer bigger girls way more, I see that bigger girls seem to have more personality to me, and are alot nicer. Skinny girls are always complaining about something, and why worry about what you eat, when you could still get guys and eat whatever you want?
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Old 07-02-2010, 02:18 PM   #63
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Dear Conrad,
Please read my previous post. It had a decent proposition regarding the integration of SA to the dims community. I felt as if the suggestion was brushed off. Your feedback would be appreciated. Thank you.
Sincerely, me

I am certainly not answering for him, but to your earlier point - that is what the main board is there for, so feel free to go to town.

As its subhead/descriptor says:
Size/size acceptance issues
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Old 07-02-2010, 04:02 PM   #64
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Superodalisque has a very valid point. Although Dimensions may have started as a direct associate to NAAFA, it no longer is (as Conrad has said). The ideals of size acceptance and whatnot are for many users, especially FAs a mask for their fetish. The magazine, back in the days of its publication, was a mix of both the fetish and activist sectors in the fat community. But, can any one person honestly say that Dims is completely SA? No. Even the fetishists aren't SA. They make comments on the paysite board and picture threads, "how much bigger are you planning on getting", or "WOW you look so great now, compared to your before pics". That's not size acceptance. Not one bit. Making a woman not feel fat enough is not size acceptance, but it happens all the time on these boards. Any talk of SA is always derailed. There is no dedicated area to the actual topic of size acceptance and the activism and actual physical support behind it. I would love to be an activist for SA, as would other posters, and I feel that it would be of Dimensions Magazine's better interest to re-invite the political concept of size acceptance. Its not like this site is all fetishist anyways- there's hyde park (which in my opinion is one of the most ignorant and extremist sectors of this site). In order for Dimensions to be taken even a little bit more seriously, an actual effort to create a place for those who are commited to the SA movement to discuss actual SA issues should happen.
Can you please stop useing the word ''fetish''? You see for some of us it's a preference not a ''fetish'', I don't see anything abnormal about being attracted to a larger female. It's ok if I like big tits, long legs, and big butts but if I like everything big holy fucking shit balls batman I'm a freak!

I'm not attacking you miss but your generalization of ''fat admirers'' is very flawed. And your right the hyde park is a joke that should have never been made in the first place. Ummm..and like Ann Marie said the main board is where you see most people talk about SA, so whats your problem with it?

Also in the way you talked about the ''gaining aspect'' of this site does that mean the weight loss board is also not SA?
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Old 07-02-2010, 07:26 PM   #65
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I am certainly not answering for him, but to your earlier point - that is what the main board is there for, so feel free to go to town.

As its subhead/descriptor says:
Size/size acceptance issues
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Originally Posted by FA Punk View Post
Can you please stop useing the word ''fetish''? You see for some of us it's a preference not a ''fetish'', I don't see anything abnormal about being attracted to a larger female. It's ok if I like big tits, long legs, and big butts but if I like everything big holy fucking shit balls batman I'm a freak!

I'm not attacking you miss but your generalization of ''fat admirers'' is very flawed. And your right the hyde park is a joke that should have never been made in the first place. Ummm..and like Ann Marie said the main board is where you see most people talk about SA, so whats your problem with it?

Also in the way you talked about the ''gaining aspect'' of this site does that mean the weight loss board is also not SA?
The main board is nothing more than a bunch of people copying and pasting news stories and discussing them. And also, FA punk, here is a little something for you:

Fetish 'fe-tish noun: an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression. (Meriam-Webster dictionary)

That definition may quite possibly fit the bill for quite a few folk around here, and if that's not you, then give yourself a pat on the back. Hell I'm a fetishist. Nothing wrong with it. And I'll use the word till the day I die- fetish fetish fetish!!!!!!!
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Old 07-02-2010, 09:09 PM   #66
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The main board is nothing more than a bunch of people copying and pasting news stories and discussing them. And also, FA punk, here is a little something for you:

Fetish 'fe-tish noun: an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression. (Meriam-Webster dictionary)

That definition may quite possibly fit the bill for quite a few folk around here, and if that's not you, then give yourself a pat on the back. Hell I'm a fetishist. Nothing wrong with it. And I'll use the word till the day I die- fetish fetish fetish!!!!!!!
Wow, your arrogance is astounding to say the least! You've missed the point of my message completely and if you don't like the way Dims is run then I say leave and find or make a web-forum that suits you better.
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Old 07-02-2010, 09:32 PM   #67
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Wow, your arrogance is astounding to say the least!
Instead of talking to yourself, how about addressing other posters here?

p.s. it IS a fetish by dictionary definition. Just because you have an issue with that word or attach a stigma to it doesn't mean that it doesn't apply.
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Old 07-02-2010, 09:37 PM   #68
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Wow, your arrogance is astounding to say the least! You've missed the point of my message completely and if you don't like the way Dims is run then I say leave and find or make a web-forum that suits you better.
wow. it is also arrogant to suggest someone leave whose opinions vary from your own. a think my way or take the highway tact is one of the things that cause women like bard to have the types of opinions that she does. what she has to say has value to many even if some might disagree. should she lie about how she really thinks and feels? should she fake it up like she's being paid? if there was a miscommunication just clear it up. it will happen at times. but asking someone to leave is not really constructive and doesn't make them feel valued or respected especially if she is often the object of discussion both political and sexual. she is trying to work out how she thinks and feels about issues as well and needs to be able to participate fully in free flowing ideas with other people. she can't do that if her voice is silenced.

i'm not saying that you are a bad guy or something but this is an example of why sometimes FAs are not trusted re: SA. sometimes when something challenges their beliefs system they are ready to dismiss it and discount it. its better to disagree yet respect one another's opinions than to show someone the door because you don't like what they think. people had been shown the door here many times previously and now people are wondering why so many stepped through it. maybe if you get the invitation often enough you take people up on it. the proprietory idea that some guys might have about dims, that it belongs to them and is totally about them and their needs, is pushing many women away. be careful not to fall into that trap. how can dims only be about guys want if they want the women to come here as well? if you expect women to agree with you all of the time just turn this into a paysite like any other and the women will say anything the clients like and FAs will never get in touch with real fat women intellectually emotionally idealistically or maybe even otherwise.
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Old 07-03-2010, 06:31 AM   #69
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Wow, your arrogance is astounding to say the least! You've missed the point of my message completely and if you don't like the way Dims is run then I say leave and find or make a web-forum that suits you better.
Please do not confuse arrogance with confidence.

....moving on....
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Old 07-03-2010, 01:52 PM   #70
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Now there's always been a good degree of cognitive dissonance within NAAFA as to "live more effective lives" most likely includes the constitutionally supported inalienable right to pursuit of happiness, and that pursuit, for most, includes socializing and sexuality. NAAFA has also always been uneasy about relying on distinctly social events (gatherings and conventions) to pay for its operation and survival.

It's just not that simple to separate the two.

Very true.

I'm not sure how people here are defining a size-acceptance organization without FAs, but I think it's a straw man. There are NO successful SA organizations without a significant social component, e.g. dances, pool parties, etc. And I believe that the social component, BY ITSELF, is an important part of SA. It helps fat people accept THEMSELVES as desirable human beings, which is a prerequisite to any sort of political action. If people don't have the inner strength that comes from self-acceptance, they cannot fight for anything else. In the area of self-acceptance, I think Dimensions has done as much or more for SA than even NAAFA, since Dimensions has probably reached more people. (And I say that as a supporter of NAAFA.)

Conrad mentioned the tension within NAAFA over the proper role of social events and political events. I've only attended NAAFA events for about 14 years, but that tension is evident to me as well. I feel that when NAAFA has been successful as an organization, it has been due to a skillful blending of the social and the political. Without the social events, there is no money. And without money, there is no organization to do political action. The political people may hold their noses at the social events, but those events are vital to keep the organization alive. If they attract some bad apples, well, that's life. If SA is doing its job, then it is giving people the strength, on an individual basis, to say "get lost" to any bad people that might approach them.

In any organization involving human beings, you have to accept people for what they are. You have to figure out how to build on human nature, both the good and bad parts of it. You want to encourage the good and discourage the bad, of course, but you can't deny sexuality or any other aspect of human nature. And you can't reject a whole class of people based on your superficial judgment of their supposedly deepest motivations. If you do, your organization won't last very long. (You can only judge people and their contributions on an individual basis, which is what SA is all about, I think.)
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Old 07-03-2010, 03:41 PM   #71
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I think some FAs support fat people in general. Not all.....some.

Is it being asserted that if person A finds person B sexually attractive, then person A must have their best interest at heart in all things?

That notion is outright ludicrous to me as a person that has lived out in the real world. Sexual attraction only sparks interest in another person....not genuine concern/caring for that person.

I see men all the time that I deem physically attractive.....and that's as far as it goes.
Men have found me attractive.....if they pursue, then it's for sexual gratification, not concern for me.

If a person is kind and naturally cares about others, then their sexual desire doesn't play into it.

Do all people that do volunteer work in nursing homes, homeless shelters or hospitals do it because they want sexy time with someone in those facilities? I'm guessing they do it because they deem it a job worthy of their time and want to help others in need.

Some FAs might be interested in SA....but they do it because that's how they come.....as nice people. They don't do it because they like the way someone's ass jiggles.

The only way I can see sexual attraction and SA linked is that an FA might consider it in his own best interest to protect a woman or family member he loves. Perhaps an FA might feel it would enable him to "come out of the closet" if fat people weren't looked down upon. Maybe it's a guy/woman that simply doesn't like others telling him what to do/like. The reasoning to do it isn't about sex....it's about the individual and what their core beliefs are.

If it's all about his/her sexuality and not about another person, then why bother?
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Old 07-03-2010, 06:10 PM   #72
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The main board is nothing more than a bunch of people copying and pasting news stories and discussing them.

You asked for a place for size acceptance to be discussed
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...There is no dedicated area to the actual topic of size acceptance...
- that is the place, it's there. If you want to discuss activism and other more cogent matters of size acceptance, the area is there and ready and waiting for those topics. That was my only point, you asked for a space, and there is one provided.

Also, here's an activism thread for direct opportunities (a sticky on the main board): http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/fo...ad.php?t=69353
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Old 07-03-2010, 06:16 PM   #73
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Wow, your arrogance is astounding to say the least! You've missed the point of my message completely and if you don't like the way Dims is run then I say leave and find or make a web-forum that suits you better.
Wow, can you stop treating these ladies like crap, the way you are treating them is absolutely despicable. Techincally, our preference towards bigger woman is a fetish, so they are right. Just like people who like feet big boobs, or earrings and tattoos.
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Old 07-03-2010, 06:24 PM   #74
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Wow, can you stop treating these ladies like crap, the way you are treating them is absolutely despicable. Techincally, our preference towards bigger woman is a fetish, so they are right. Just like people who like feet big boobs, or earrings and tattoos.
I disagree. Liking a large woman is a preference, it is not a fetish. If you like a tall woman, that's not a fetish... it's a body preference. Same with a large partner.

If liking a fat woman is a fetish than so is any het male who prefers a thin partner. Fat is not something that pushes the WOMAN into a different category.

If you're a woman who believes you're just a fetish to an FA, then I really hope you don't end up with one. If you're an FA who believes that partnering and being with large women is just a fetish, then I sincerely hope you don't end up with one.

If the FA can only get off while the woman is stuffing twinkies in her mouth or busting out of too-tight jeans, then THAT is the fetish part... not the wanting of a large partner for relationships.
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Old 07-03-2010, 09:04 PM   #75
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Wow, can you stop treating these ladies like crap, the way you are treating them is absolutely despicable. Techincally, our preference towards bigger woman is a fetish, so they are right. Just like people who like feet big boobs, or earrings and tattoos.
And thin women only. lol
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