Dimensions Forums  
Home Register Premium Membership Health Issues Market Place Big Fashion

Go Back   Dimensions Forums > Discussion > BBW Forum



Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 07-10-2010, 11:24 AM   #26
superodalisque
 
superodalisque's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: atlanta
Posts: 7,580
superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tau View Post
This is the original Little Mermaid though - this is what the nuns read us in primary school. In the end she dies and, instead of becoming foam on the sea as she had feared, she becomes a sort of angelic guide, pretty much trapped between heaven and earth doing good deeds till judgment day. This was me at age 8: LOL! It may be the original but I prefer to ignore its existence.
the originals of fairy tails are amazing and have so much deep truth at their centers. there is a book out thats an anthology that has snow white, cinderella and all of the other traditions in it that haven't been disneyfied. they are great to think about. the language is sooo forceful. i'll try and find out what the name of it is.
__________________
Ayn Rand: "An emotion that clashes with your reason, an emotion that you cannot explain or control, is only the carcass of that stale thinking which you forbade your mind to revise."
superodalisque is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-10-2010, 12:04 PM   #27
CarlaSixx
Just Another Weirdo
 
CarlaSixx's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Cornwall, ON, Canada
Posts: 3,983
CarlaSixx keeps pushing the rep limit!CarlaSixx keeps pushing the rep limit!CarlaSixx keeps pushing the rep limit!CarlaSixx keeps pushing the rep limit!CarlaSixx keeps pushing the rep limit!CarlaSixx keeps pushing the rep limit!CarlaSixx keeps pushing the rep limit!CarlaSixx keeps pushing the rep limit!CarlaSixx keeps pushing the rep limit!CarlaSixx keeps pushing the rep limit!CarlaSixx keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

I've never seen the originals, but I'd love to
__________________
Curvy Canadian ;)
Twitter
My Wish List
CarlaSixx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-12-2010, 07:42 PM   #28
Vespertine
 
Vespertine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: California
Posts: 318
Vespertine carries a lot of weight on this boardVespertine carries a lot of weight on this boardVespertine carries a lot of weight on this boardVespertine carries a lot of weight on this boardVespertine carries a lot of weight on this boardVespertine carries a lot of weight on this board
Default

Those original fairy tales are great! I had a collection years ago, it was called The Complete Grimm's Fairy Tales, translated by Margaret Hunt. Great, and at times disturbing, reading. I dunno if it has the little mermaid in it or not, can't remember....
Vespertine is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-12-2010, 07:56 PM   #29
CastingPearls
Go Big Or Go Home
 
CastingPearls's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Possum Grape, AR
Posts: 15,178
CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vespertine View Post
Those original fairy tales are great! I had a collection years ago, it was called The Complete Grimm's Fairy Tales, translated by Margaret Hunt. Great, and at times disturbing, reading. I dunno if it has the little mermaid in it or not, can't remember....
The Little Mermaid was written by Hans Christian Anderson so prolly not but the real Cinderella story was really brutal. Most of the original stories were more like scary cautionary tales than bedtime stories and nursery rhymes.

I read someone's thesis based on how quite a few fairy tales were really commentaries on women's behavior (or expectations of them) and how they have affected our roles in society. Good read.
__________________
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]http://castingpearls-blowingbubbles.blogspot.com/

Free me, free yourself
A life of sacrifice controlled me
But those promises I made
No longer hold me
Mercurial more wayward by the hour
The shackles fall away I'm in your power



People throw rocks at things that shine.
CastingPearls is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-15-2010, 08:28 AM   #30
mercy
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 296
mercy carries a lot of weight on this boardmercy carries a lot of weight on this boardmercy carries a lot of weight on this boardmercy carries a lot of weight on this boardmercy carries a lot of weight on this board
Default

I admit I am shamelessly open to manipulation by people who use the word "pretty" on me. I was convinced I was ugly from a very young age (kids at school) so I still find it shocking that anyone could find me pretty, and I felt that way before I started gaining weight.

It is limiting, of course. I have a degree, I'm passionate about things and I struggle with a mental health disorder. I would far rather be defined by those things than by something I have no control over.
mercy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-15-2010, 09:58 AM   #31
Sweet Tooth
Deep. W i d e.
 
Sweet Tooth's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hockeytown
Posts: 1,283
Sweet Tooth has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Sweet Tooth has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Sweet Tooth has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Sweet Tooth has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Sweet Tooth has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Sweet Tooth has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Sweet Tooth has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Sweet Tooth has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Sweet Tooth has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Sweet Tooth has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Sweet Tooth has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by mercy View Post
It is limiting, of course. I have a degree, I'm passionate about things and I struggle with a mental health disorder. I would far rather be defined by those things than by something I have no control over.
You know, that last bit... when I had to deal with the person who made me feel worse of the pretty/prettier comparisons, I used to respond, "Well, I'm glad she had the foresight to choose parents with good DNA." I mean, really, there's some we can do with our looks because of makeup or even plastic surgery, but there's a lot we're just sort of stuck with. This idea that someone's prettiness is somehow entirely in there control and, therefore, a primary aspect on which they can be judged is ridiculous... yet this society seems to treat it as such.
__________________
♪ ♫ Cathedrals have tried in vain to show the image of Your face, but we are, by your design, the signature of divine. ♫ ♪ [Needtobreathe]
You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life. [Winston Churchill]
Sweet Tooth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2010, 07:14 PM   #32
KittyKitten
Nerdysillysweetspicysaucy
 
KittyKitten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 4,017
KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Honestly, I find that women can be much more judgmental of another woman's looks and weight more so than men. For example, my aunt visited, later she says "you need to work on your weight, why don't you walk more yada yada yada?" I've never had men give me problems about my weight, only women and it hurts sometimes.
__________________
"I'm making a political statement every time I make my ass clap" - Ru Paul
KittyKitten is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-28-2010, 06:12 AM   #33
pinkflower26
 
pinkflower26's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: England , UK
Posts: 29
pinkflower26 can now change their title
Default

i think all people have things about them that are pretty, not just our face. u might look at one women and she may have a nice figure but not a nice face and visa virsa . i hate girls that are up them selves and think they are absolutley gorgeous when there actually dogs !
pinkflower26 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-28-2010, 06:19 AM   #34
LillyBBBW
Wig Snatcher
 
LillyBBBW's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 9,794
LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

*subscribes*

lol
__________________
Expecting the world to treat you kindly because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.

"...If the only pain you recognize as valid is your own, of course you'll have trouble identifying it when you see it in other people. That's the trouble with narcissism. It makes you really inadequate and boring."

Have you hugged a fat girl today?

@~;~~
LillyBBBW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-28-2010, 06:53 AM   #35
MizzSnakeBite
Taking a Break From Here
 
MizzSnakeBite's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 2,697
MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkflower26 View Post
i think all people have things about them that are pretty, not just our face. u might look at one women and she may have a nice figure but not a nice face and visa virsa . i hate girls that are up them selves and think they are absolutley gorgeous when there actually dogs !
Good grief.
__________________
"She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would call unrefined. She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot."
Mark Twain

"Hope is a thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and sings the tune without words, and never stops at all."
Emily Dickinson
MizzSnakeBite is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-28-2010, 07:20 AM   #36
Sandie_Zitkus
Entrepreneur
 
Sandie_Zitkus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 6,042
Sandie_Zitkus keeps pushing the rep limit!Sandie_Zitkus keeps pushing the rep limit!Sandie_Zitkus keeps pushing the rep limit!Sandie_Zitkus keeps pushing the rep limit!Sandie_Zitkus keeps pushing the rep limit!Sandie_Zitkus keeps pushing the rep limit!Sandie_Zitkus keeps pushing the rep limit!Sandie_Zitkus keeps pushing the rep limit!Sandie_Zitkus keeps pushing the rep limit!Sandie_Zitkus keeps pushing the rep limit!Sandie_Zitkus keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkflower26 View Post
i think all people have things about them that are pretty, not just our face. u might look at one women and she may have a nice figure but not a nice face and visa virsa . i hate girls that are up them selves and think they are absolutley gorgeous when there actually dogs !
visa virsa - vice versa

There - They're

Absolutley - Absolutely



Beauty and brains is the ultimate combination.
Sandie_Zitkus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-28-2010, 09:00 AM   #37
mossystate
flicks a booger on conrad
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 10,129
mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Whores and dogs.

Welcome to the new(ish) anything goes bbw forum.

Woot!


LOL

mossystate is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-28-2010, 09:15 AM   #38
LillyBBBW
Wig Snatcher
 
LillyBBBW's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 9,794
LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by mossystate View Post
Whores and dogs.

Welcome to the new(ish) anything goes bbw forum.

Woot!


LOL

Well not *anything* goes. I created a thread in here and mentioned neither whores nor dogs and it was moved to the lounge so fast I thought I drempt the whole thing. Report the post, see what happens.
__________________
Expecting the world to treat you kindly because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.

"...If the only pain you recognize as valid is your own, of course you'll have trouble identifying it when you see it in other people. That's the trouble with narcissism. It makes you really inadequate and boring."

Have you hugged a fat girl today?

@~;~~
LillyBBBW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-28-2010, 09:49 AM   #39
mossystate
flicks a booger on conrad
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 10,129
mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default


.........
mossystate is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-28-2010, 09:57 AM   #40
thirtiesgirl
frumious bandersnatch
 
thirtiesgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Loss Angeles
Posts: 1,461
thirtiesgirl makes people happy simply by logging inthirtiesgirl makes people happy simply by logging inthirtiesgirl makes people happy simply by logging inthirtiesgirl makes people happy simply by logging inthirtiesgirl makes people happy simply by logging inthirtiesgirl makes people happy simply by logging inthirtiesgirl makes people happy simply by logging inthirtiesgirl makes people happy simply by logging inthirtiesgirl makes people happy simply by logging inthirtiesgirl makes people happy simply by logging in
Default

See, to me, what Katie Makkai is talking about in the Youtube clip is "hottness," not "prettiness," especially when she mentions "pretty" women getting attention from men in bars. I think there's a difference between "hot" and "pretty." To me, "pretty" describes one's overall appearance and is more of a tame word. "Hotness" is an attitude, and one doesn't necessarily need to be "pretty" to be "hot."

"Hotness" is also a physical description, but to me, it refers to whether a woman has the obvious standard sexual signifiers - visible cleavage; rounded, lifted breasts; small waist; defined hips; legs visible in a skirt or dress (i.e., a "fuckable body"). Whereas a woman can be considered "pretty" without necessarily having those things.

I know plenty of pretty women who can walk into a bar and not be approached by men because their bodies don't fit the stereotypical definition of "hot," and they don't exude a confident, outgoing personality. That doesn't mean they're not confident, but just that they show it in different ways, rather than the outgoing, extroverted ways that usually signal to men that "this woman wants to be approached." Pretty women may be thin or average in body size, but based on how they choose to dress or their body shape in itself, they don't show the standard sexual signifiers that these guys are looking for. So they may have a pretty face, pretty smile, have long hair, are slender and otherwise fit within the standard tropes of "prettiness" and "having a socially acceptable body type," but because they're not seen as "hot" and "approachable" by the guys cruising the bars, these women are seen as "tame" and generally ignored by guys in that setting. Less so in other settings, like the work place. But women who fulfill men's definition of "hot" will still tend to get more attention.

Considering some of the skeevy guys who try to pick up on women in bars and clubs, though, being ignored is not such a bad thing. ...Although, when I was ignored, I couldn't even claim "pretty but tame" as a reason. And there was a time in my life when I didn't want to be ignored by the bar guys.

I'm not pretty and never have been. When I'm not smiling, I have a sullen face (like, Christina Ricci sullen) and look pouty and upset even when I'm not. It's been that way since birth. My mom, who was never good at not being judgmental, used to often snap at me, "get that pouty look off your face!" when it was just my normal facial expression. I'm also fat - disproportionately fat, not an hourglass shape. I have a flatter ass, smaller hips, broader shoulders and bigger boobs and belly. Most guys I've met generally prefer a fat woman if she's hourglass shaped. ...Point being, I can walk into a bar or club and be ignored like these nice, pretty women, but not because I'm seen as "nice" or "pretty." I'm ignored because I'm not "hot," and I certainly don't look approachable.

Now, there was a time in my life when I really cared about not being ignored by all members of the opposite sex. So I learned to play up my assets, so to speak, and become a little more extroverted and outgoing when out on the town. Even if I didn't have all the sexual signifiers of a "hot" woman, I did have one: boobs. Put me in a Wonderbra in a low-cut top or corset, and my boobs practically did the talking for me. Put on some red lipstick, and suddenly I'm looking...well, if not exactly approachable, at least a little more "come hither." Pretend to be extroverted and outgoing for an evening (particularly with the help of alcohol), and suddenly I'm the life of the party.

So, while I'm not a "pretty" girl, I knew how to "play hot," and could get attention from men when I did. I've seen plenty of other women of all sizes and shapes do the same. Even if she doesn't have a standardly "pretty" face, as long as she can show some physical signifiers of "hotness," a woman is seen as more approachable, less ignorable by men.

Of course, all the men who approached me were operating on one assumption only: to see if I was "easy," to see if they could score a hook-up. That's not to say they approach other women who are "playing hot," or actually fall within their narrow definition of "hot" for the same reason. But they did with me. It was patently clear from their actions, and I had to learn it the hard way on more than one occasion.

Not growing up "pretty" or "hot," I'd never had men approach me just to talk, or want to do things for me, and I never learned to use my "hotness" to get things from men. I'd always done everything on my own. Never mind that my hair was clean and neat, my teeth were straight, I tried to smile, I didn't wear too much makeup, I wore clothes with personal style... that wasn't enough. So I learned to "play hot," and got what attention I could. But I eventually learned, after a lot of mistakes, that the kind of attention I got while "playing hot" wasn't the kind of attention I wanted.

These days, I don't do that any more. I don't care if I get attention from guys in bars. Most of them are not worth my time anyway. I do still wish that I was prettier because I think there are advantages to being standardly pretty, but I've made peace with my face and my body, for the most part. I'm at a point in my life where I'm generally comfortable with my looks. I have my bad days when I get down on myself and despise my looks, but those days are fewer and far between than they used to be, and I hope that keeps improving as I age and grow more comfortable with myself.

...Anyway, my point was, I think there's a difference between "pretty" and "hot," and I think Katie Makkai was talking more about hotness in her poetry slam. While I agree that just aspiring to be "pretty" or "hot" is limiting and pointless, if you've never been seen as pretty or hot, sometimes the desire to be seen that way can kind of take over your life. In my case, I eventually learned that the kind of attention I got by "playing hot" was not the kind of attention I wanted. But I also think that because I was never defined by just my looks when I was a kid (outside of being told I was "ugly" or "weird-looking" by the kids I went to school with), I learned from an early age that I have other things to offer. And I can't say that was a bad thing for me.
__________________
Some girls are bigger than others. ~The Smiths
thirtiesgirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-28-2010, 06:36 PM   #41
lovelocs
Nunc est Bibendum
 
lovelocs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Squaresville USA
Posts: 1,102
lovelocs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lovelocs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lovelocs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lovelocs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lovelocs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lovelocs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lovelocs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lovelocs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lovelocs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lovelocs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lovelocs has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Post

Lots of good stuff in the above post... Unless a woman has been practicing with her beauty for a long time (if she was beautiful as a child, and it was recognized, and built on and she had the chance to observe its effects in the relative safety of childhood), and unless she is "sure of it as a good weapon in tight places" as F.Scott Fitzgerald would say, then she is bound to have had some experiences where it did not get her what she expected. Beauty is powerful, and at least where I come from, it can get a woman hurt.
I grew up never being told I was pretty, or beautiful. My mother just did not have those words for me. She knew that she had been beautiful in her youth, and she liked to tell me those stories, but she didn't ever see me as such, nor did she try to cultivate it. I grew up with a strong emphasis on my academic achievements, and my good common sense. There was never much of an effort made to groom me. Because of this, I never really bonded with many other girls or women (beauty was important even in grade school, and if you didn't have it, you were out, or you were the homely friend they kept around to look better.) Most of my friends were male, and most of them are to this day.
I discovered my beauty on my own, how to work with my hair, and figure, and skin. Now that I've gotten older, I find that a little grooming goes a very long way, and I enjoy "putting on pretty" and taking it off. Sometimes I do it just to mess with people, and sometimes I actually make myself attractive to attract people (go figure). Even as a child, I thought that beauty was a process a woman subjected herself to, more than an outcome. I've seen women wearing weaves and makeup which looked hideous on them, and they've made snide comments about my naked face and natural hair. Plastic surgery "afters" frequently don't look much different than "befores," at least to me... I never was hurt or held back by being seen as pretty (because it wasn't there), and now I'm playing with pretty, and enjoying it.
__________________
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Ad astra per alas porci.
lovelocs is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-28-2010, 06:53 PM   #42
BBW4Chattery
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: SE US
Posts: 327
BBW4Chattery is a member of the 500 clubBBW4Chattery is a member of the 500 clubBBW4Chattery is a member of the 500 clubBBW4Chattery is a member of the 500 clubBBW4Chattery is a member of the 500 clubBBW4Chattery is a member of the 500 club
Default

I've always disliked the term "pretty." I associate it fairly closely with how Katie seems to define it. It always felt superficial to me. It's the easy compliment to offer that carries no weight.

For whatever reason, anyone who told me I was pretty... I ignored. The praise I craved was the word "beautiful." In my mind, beautiful was/is whole, integrated, well-considered, thoughtful, present, powerful... Pretty is how I refer to a little girl's dress or a play-do man my nephew makes for me.

Just my opinion.

As for me being pretty... I don't feel it all the time. I feel it less and less often as I get older. I've felt pretty... I've even felt beautiful... I've been lucky enough to never need reinforcement to feel either... but at the same time, I'm my most harsh critic... so when the ugly feelings take over... just wow, I feel ugly.

Love the video. Already shared it with someone I think could benefit from that perspective.

Thanks.
BBW4Chattery is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-04-2010, 09:31 PM   #43
katherine22
 
katherine22's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Tualatin, Oregon (near Portland)
Posts: 566
katherine22 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!katherine22 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!katherine22 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!katherine22 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!katherine22 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!katherine22 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!katherine22 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!katherine22 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!katherine22 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!katherine22 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!katherine22 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Since I was never pretty, cute or beautiful, I had to develop style, intelligence and imagination. So many physical aspects such as pretty are transitory, self-development is enduring.
__________________
"It's absurd to divide people into good and bad. People either or charming or tedious." Oscar Wilde

Queen Elizabeth I residing within.

If I continue to eat I will grow as big as a room.
"What are rooms for?":bow:

Last edited by katherine22; 08-04-2010 at 09:38 PM. Reason: wrong word
katherine22 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-05-2010, 07:34 AM   #44
KittyKitten
Nerdysillysweetspicysaucy
 
KittyKitten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 4,017
KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!KittyKitten keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkflower26 View Post
i think all people have things about them that are pretty, not just our face. u might look at one women and she may have a nice figure but not a nice face and visa virsa . i hate girls that are up them selves and think they are absolutley gorgeous when there actually dogs !
Or women who say they are 'ugly' but are really beautiful in reality. I see a lot of women downplaying their beauty.
__________________
"I'm making a political statement every time I make my ass clap" - Ru Paul
KittyKitten is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-05-2010, 08:04 AM   #45
Dibaby35
Chicken n' Dumplings
 
Dibaby35's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 561
Dibaby35 can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokesDibaby35 can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokesDibaby35 can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokes
Default

I was never really called pretty growing up. So I relied more on my personality to get through school and being good at sports helped as well. Doesn't matter what u look like with sports..as long as your good..people will accept you.

Anyways I recently lost a lot of weight then I was attracting some attention but now that I've gained a good portion of it back I'm back to invisible. Yeah it's hard not to think.."if only if I were thin I would be happy" mode..sigh.
Dibaby35 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-05-2010, 01:47 PM   #46
Tracyarts
 
Tracyarts's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Just southeast of Houston, TX
Posts: 1,980
Tracyarts keeps pushing the rep limit!Tracyarts keeps pushing the rep limit!Tracyarts keeps pushing the rep limit!Tracyarts keeps pushing the rep limit!Tracyarts keeps pushing the rep limit!Tracyarts keeps pushing the rep limit!Tracyarts keeps pushing the rep limit!Tracyarts keeps pushing the rep limit!Tracyarts keeps pushing the rep limit!Tracyarts keeps pushing the rep limit!Tracyarts keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

" Or women who say they are 'ugly' but are really beautiful in reality. I see a lot of women downplaying their beauty. "

I've noticed that with many of the women I've been around it's really frowned upon to openly acknowledge your physical assets, and to actually show pride in them is absolutely unacceptable. Hell, it's not even just looks, they downplay all their assets lest they be labeled as "conceited" or "full of themself".

And I don't get that. There is pressure to be pretty, talented, successful, etc... but also pressure to downplay it or at least act nonchalant about it. Because if you own it and show pride in it, you risk being labeled "conceited" or "full of yourself".

Makes no sense whatsoever.
Tracy
__________________
My random topics YouTube Vlog:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmA...27t-qZg/videos
Tracyarts is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-05-2010, 01:48 PM   #47
Dibaby35
Chicken n' Dumplings
 
Dibaby35's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 561
Dibaby35 can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokesDibaby35 can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokesDibaby35 can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokes
Default

I blame the men..lol
Dibaby35 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-05-2010, 03:27 PM   #48
MizzSnakeBite
Taking a Break From Here
 
MizzSnakeBite's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 2,697
MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!MizzSnakeBite has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

'Some' truly do not feel they're pretty/attractive/etc even though they are in other people's eyes. They're not saying they're not attractive to garner attention, they truly do not believe they are. When told they're attractive, they think the person is simply being nice. Just a thought from someone that has never considered themselves attractive.

Love the judgefest going on towards women in the BBW forum.




ETA: Oh, and I'm not "jealous" of another woman's beauty/talent. I've had many accomplished/beautiful female friends, and have complimented them on their accomplishments/beauty.
__________________
"She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would call unrefined. She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot."
Mark Twain

"Hope is a thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and sings the tune without words, and never stops at all."
Emily Dickinson

Last edited by MizzSnakeBite; 08-05-2010 at 03:29 PM.
MizzSnakeBite is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-05-2010, 04:44 PM   #49
CastingPearls
Go Big Or Go Home
 
CastingPearls's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Possum Grape, AR
Posts: 15,178
CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tracyarts View Post
" Or women who say they are 'ugly' but are really beautiful in reality. I see a lot of women downplaying their beauty. "

I've noticed that with many of the women I've been around it's really frowned upon to openly acknowledge your physical assets, and to actually show pride in them is absolutely unacceptable. Hell, it's not even just looks, they downplay all their assets lest they be labeled as "conceited" or "full of themself".

And I don't get that. There is pressure to be pretty, talented, successful, etc... but also pressure to downplay it or at least act nonchalant about it. Because if you own it and show pride in it, you risk being labeled "conceited" or "full of yourself".

Makes no sense whatsoever.
Tracy
Good point, Tracy, but even further, owning up to it seems to make one shallow, lacking in character, personality or intelligence by those under the assumption that pretty women don't need to build or develop meaningful characteristics because they're superficial.
__________________
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]http://castingpearls-blowingbubbles.blogspot.com/

Free me, free yourself
A life of sacrifice controlled me
But those promises I made
No longer hold me
Mercurial more wayward by the hour
The shackles fall away I'm in your power



People throw rocks at things that shine.
CastingPearls is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-06-2010, 11:56 AM   #50
QuasimodoQT
Shy viking
 
QuasimodoQT's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Back in Oregon.
Posts: 463
QuasimodoQT never has a post go unnoticedQuasimodoQT never has a post go unnoticedQuasimodoQT never has a post go unnoticedQuasimodoQT never has a post go unnoticedQuasimodoQT never has a post go unnoticedQuasimodoQT never has a post go unnoticedQuasimodoQT never has a post go unnoticed
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MizzSnakeBite View Post
'Some' truly do not feel they're pretty/attractive/etc even though they are in other people's eyes. They're not saying they're not attractive to garner attention, they truly do not believe they are. When told they're attractive, they think the person is simply being nice. Just a thought from someone that has never considered themselves attractive.

Love the judgefest going on towards women in the BBW forum.




ETA: Oh, and I'm not "jealous" of another woman's beauty/talent. I've had many accomplished/beautiful female friends, and have complimented them on their accomplishments/beauty.
I can really relate to this. My friends and family tell me that I'm pretty. Every once in a while the angles and lighting all align where I can see it in a photo, but I have issues with almost everything about the way I look. Hence my handle.

When I care about someone, they gradually become more and more attractive to me, and vice versa. So when people who love me give me compliments, I chalk it up to that.

I did think I was a pretty child, but I attracted so much sexual attention as a kid that I don't think it did me any favors- as others have said- predators are drawn to that, and I had plenty of predators.

I really -don't- know if I see it differently than other people, but it's my personal truth.
__________________
"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." (Anais Nin)
QuasimodoQT is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:35 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright Dimensions Magazine. All rights reserved worldwide.