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Old 10-24-2005, 09:05 PM   #1
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Default Candy Corn

The season for candy corn is upon us and boy,do I loathe the stuff.I detest its sickly sweetness,it's lack of any discernable flavor and most of all I hate its ubiquity.The stuff is everywhere!! I only know of one person,my mother, who likes it.blech.


"The worst thing about Halloween is, of course, candy corn. It's unbelievable to me. Candy corn is the only candy in the history of America that's never been advertised. And there's a reason. All of the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911. And so, since nobody eats that stuff, every year there's a ton of it left over. And the candy corn company sends the guys to the villages and they collect out of the dumpsters all the candy corn we've thrown away. They wash it!! They wash it!

I'll never forget the first time my mother gave me candy corn. She said, "Here - Lewis, this is candy corn. It's corn that tastes like candy". [high pitched sound] This tastes like crap! And every year since then, Halloween has returned and I, like an Alzhiemer's patient, find myself in the room, and the room has a big table in it, and on the table is a bowl of candy corn. And I look at it as if I've never seen it before. "Candy corn", I think. "Corn that tastes like candy. I can't wait". Son of a bitch!!"

-- comedian Lewis Black, from The Daily Show
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Old 10-24-2005, 09:26 PM   #2
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I had an empty candy dish sitting on a shelf next to the kitchen sink and I decided it needed some Halloween candy in it. I knew anything good would disappear in no time so I bought a small bag of cheapo brand Candy Corn. It's been sitting there for days looking all colorful and Halloweeny, and so far, totally untouched. I'd say it's probably the only candy I could ever have in my house that NO ONE wants.
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Old 10-24-2005, 09:39 PM   #3
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Default The Honest Candy

You didn't see my post about Halloween. I like Candy Corn.

It has lots of yummy High Fructose Corn Syrup and it's proud of it.
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Old 10-24-2005, 09:41 PM   #4
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Default You can imagine how i feel

I, being the only person on earth who likes the stuff, am the culprit. If it wasn't for me it woulda disappeared decades ago.
I'm deeply sorry about this.

Lord knows i've tried.
I'll just about get my life together and then Halloween rolls around and ex-wife #1, who was always highly amused by my attraction to CC, leaves a big bag of those pumpkins at my door and the whole ugly struggle begins anew.
Then Christmas rolls around...last year she even gave me a candy corn-shaped dish for my stash.

And there's nowhere to turn. Nobody's gonna put a 12-step program for an affliction that's only affected one person.

It's HELL, i tell ya.
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Old 10-24-2005, 09:45 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by Gordo Mejor
You didn't see my post about Halloween. I like Candy Corn.

It has lots of yummy High Fructose Corn Syrup and it's proud of it.
You'll never know how much this means to me.
*Gives Gordo the secret Candy Corn Brothers' handshake, unseen since 1911*
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Old 10-24-2005, 11:43 PM   #6
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[QUOTE=Egbert Souse]I, being the only person on earth who likes the stuff, am the culprit. If it wasn't for me it woulda disappeared decades ago.
I'm deeply sorry about this.

You have other brethren. We're just closeted like gays in the Military.
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Old 10-25-2005, 04:49 AM   #7
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My engineer husband Art once had a project at a candy factory that was making candy corn at the time, and he brought home a big bag of the stuff. It made my teeth hurt, and it was the only Halloween candy the kids gave back to us ("Trick or Treat! Okay you win!"). We were about to throw it out, but then we realized we'd need a toxic waste permit, so I think we eventually used it to repave the driveway. Millions of years from now, archeologists will find ancient candy corn among the remains of our civilization and conclude that it's the reason we died out.

Earlier this month at work someone brought in a big bowl of candy corn and it's just sitting there. Somebody's nibbling on it, but nobody admits to it. Once or twice I reached for some, but it's like some kind of force-field batted away my hand at the last minute.

But seriously folks, candy corn simply takes up valuable space that could be filled with chocolate.

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Old 10-25-2005, 06:09 AM   #8
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I will eat a few pieces every year, in part to remember the waxy times of my youth, and in part to eat it the RIGHT way (you know, biting it color-by-color).
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Old 10-25-2005, 06:39 AM   #9
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People who hand out candy corn on Halloween deserve to have their houses egg-ed and toliet paper-ed. An extreme stance, I know, but someone has to stand up for the little guys.
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Old 10-25-2005, 07:26 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by MissToodles
People who hand out candy corn on Halloween deserve to have their houses egg-ed and toliet paper-ed. An extreme stance, I know, but someone has to stand up for the little guys.

I still prefer them to those odd lumpy vaguely peanut butter tasting balls wrapped in orange (and/or black?) wax paper. Ugh. Wasn't worth unwrapping them to eat them. Horrid things. So cheap.
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Old 10-25-2005, 07:37 AM   #11
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If I were to give in to abandon I could polish off a bag of candy corn in an evening. I looooooooove it. It is not only aesthetically pleasing in its neat bright striped pattern, it is also comfortingly tasty!

I haven't bought any this year only because I am trying to be good.. but I am due a treat on Halloween and I am sure some corn goodness will be involved.

From sweetnnekked - "You have other brethren." Well let me just add that you have some sistren too
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Old 10-25-2005, 09:20 AM   #12
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Originally Posted by Jes
I still prefer them to those odd lumpy vaguely peanut butter tasting balls wrapped in orange (and/or black?) wax paper. Ugh. Wasn't worth unwrapping them to eat them. Horrid things. So cheap.
I was about to edit my post and mention those. Mary janes I believe. Okay, candy corn is marginally better.
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Old 10-25-2005, 10:16 AM   #13
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Originally Posted by MissToodles
I was about to edit my post and mention those. Mary janes I believe. Okay, candy corn is marginally better.
no no...I think they are just called "peanut butter kisses" and yes - YUK!

I actually really like Mary Janes, and their cousin - Bit o'Honey!
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Old 10-25-2005, 10:20 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gordo Mejor
You didn't see my post about Halloween. I like Candy Corn.

It has lots of yummy High Fructose Corn Syrup and it's proud of it.
Well we already know you like sweet things

Oh...I mean because of your post on the "sweet or salty" thread, of course. What else?

And I know you are a slave to that HFCS (high fructose corn syrup) since I know about your Pepsi addiction. Have you had that IV hooked up yet? or are you still carrying around those bottles?

And about candy corn - I like it, a little. It's traditional and I am all for tradition, so I would see it - crave it - buy it - eat it - and get over my craving FAST - once a year
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Old 10-25-2005, 04:15 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jes
I will eat a few pieces every year, in part to remember the waxy times of my youth, and in part to eat it the RIGHT way (you know, biting it color-by-color).
Yes, absolutely! That's how I eat it too. That way you can taste the difference in the flavors. (Well, at least in the "indian corn" version with the chocolate layer!)
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"Well," said Pooh, "what I like best --" and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn't know what it was called. - A.A. Milne
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Old 10-25-2005, 05:08 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jes
I will eat a few pieces every year, in part to remember the waxy times of my youth, and in part to eat it the RIGHT way (you know, biting it color-by-color).
I was just thinking that, when I read your post, Jes... Any time I ever did eat candy corn, the most fun was to nibble the colors off one by one.

And YES, those horrid popcorn balls!

But then again, the one person on the block who gave a whole candy bar always made me feel better.


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Old 10-25-2005, 05:16 PM   #17
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From sweetnnekked - "You have other brethren." Well let me just add that you have some sistren too

Amen, Sistren!!!
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Old 10-25-2005, 05:18 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by Egbert Souse
You'll never know how much this means to me.
*Gives Gordo the secret Candy Corn Brothers' handshake, unseen since 1911*
I believe the handshake was last done in Lompoc.... or was that Philadelphia....hmmm.
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Old 10-25-2005, 07:39 PM   #19
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I believe the handshake was last done in Lompoc.... or was that Philadelphia....hmmm.
Ah, i remember it well. It was out in front of the new Old Lompoc House with Frank Kriddlehopper, the management, back in '11.
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Old 10-25-2005, 07:49 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jes
I will eat a few pieces every year, in part to remember the waxy times of my youth, and in part to eat it the RIGHT way (you know, biting it color-by-color).
What is it about that color-by-color thing? I've tried to do that since i was a kid but i'm no more successful now than i was then...after a half dozen or so i'm just stuffing them in my mouth and sucking on them.

I'm similarly unsuccessful with my technique at eating malted milk balls. I always MEAN to bite them in half and eat them half-at-a-time to stretch them out but it never works out for long.
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Old 10-25-2005, 07:55 PM   #21
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I like the way candy corn smells, but not the flavor.

Mary Janes and Bit O' Honeys are pretty good too. But then again I really like anything along the lines of a taffy or caramel.

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Old 10-25-2005, 08:24 PM   #22
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lol I like candy corn.
And I also eat circus peanuts and peeps
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Old 10-25-2005, 09:00 PM   #23
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lol I like candy corn.
And I also eat circus peanuts and peeps
peeps!! yesssssssss!!

circus peanuts...really??? people really eat those things? I've tried...but I just can't
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"Well," said Pooh, "what I like best --" and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn't know what it was called. - A.A. Milne
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Old 10-26-2005, 08:22 AM   #24
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Originally Posted by Pink
lol I like candy corn.
And I also eat circus peanuts and peeps
I eat the Circus Peanuts too. I think my indiscriminate candy tastes come from sitting with my granny. She loves candy corn, those weird marshmallowy creme eggs with the hard pastel shells you get at Easter, ribbon candy, and orange slices. I pretty much like most non-chocolate, non-licorice candy.
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Old 10-26-2005, 08:16 PM   #25
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peeps!! yesssssssss!!

circus peanuts...really??? people really eat those things? I've tried...but I just can't
Yep they are an acquired taste lol
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