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Old 10-19-2010, 01:28 PM   #76
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would you?
nope. absolutely not.
i have no reason to want to.
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Old 10-19-2010, 02:04 PM   #77
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Interesting how for a lot of us it isn't so much that we would want to change its existence, but "How" in many different ways.
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Old 10-19-2010, 02:24 PM   #78
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Interesting how for a lot of us it isn't so much that we would want to change its existence, but "How" in many different ways.
Like making it more widely accepted?
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Old 10-19-2010, 05:17 PM   #79
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Like making it more widely accepted?
Only in one sense.

I don't mind having a taste that few others have, or acknowledge, or admit to. I'm fine with being at odds with the world in this, as I am in most aesthetic matters.

BUT, if it were more widely accepted, the world would be an infinitely more beautiful place. Seeing full-figured girls as the leads in movies, or on the covers of all the magazines, etc., etc., would be some kind of earthbound paradise.
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Old 10-19-2010, 05:28 PM   #80
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Only in one sense.

I don't mind having a taste that few others have, or acknowledge, or admit to. I'm fine with being at odds with the world in this, as I am in most aesthetic matters.

BUT, if it were more widely accepted, the world would be an infinitely more beautiful place. Seeing full-figured girls as the leads in movies, or on the covers of all the magazines, etc., etc., would be some kind of earthbound paradise.
You put that so beautifully.

I agree it's a taste that few others have (even though few is still a lot in numbers)

but it would make the world so much more awesome
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Old 10-23-2010, 11:07 AM   #81
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Given a choice, at this point in my life, I'd drop most of the FA stuff and all the feeder stuff. I'd like to retain an appreciation of a wide range of sizes, but lose the specific turn on from fat and being fatter. It would certainly change who I am, and who knows what all that would do to my sexuality (the fat stuff has been a key part of it since I had a sexuality), but given that none of this interests my wife, it would just be better that way.
Well said. Same here.
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Old 11-03-2010, 07:21 AM   #82
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I have a scrawny bean pole of a boyfriend. We hit it off in every respect--I've never known anyone else I could stand being around for days and days and still be sad to leave. He's my only friend and often the only thing that makes me happy and keeps me working towards a better life. As far as social matters go, he is my world and the only person I'd ever wish to share my life with forever.

He knows that I'm an FFA. He's completely okay with that--he even indulges me by going along with it. He constantly has to tell me that my preferences are perfectly fine and that he has no problem with them. But still, whenever we start acting more intimately, and my mind automatically turns to WG and images of what he might look like 200, 300 pounds heavier, part of me feels so awful and guilty that I can't just appreciate his body the way it is. I can't even feel satisfaction or excitement from any intimate encounters unless I turn to these fantasies.

Over time, I think this has really damaged his idea of what I love, why I love him, and his own self-esteem. It has arrived to the point that he is now trying to gain weight for me to make me happier. And as blissfully, ecstatically heavenly the feel of each new pound on his lanky frame is, I know that with each one he is sacrificing his body--which is not healthy to begin with--just for me. I know he dislikes the feel of all this new flesh and I know he'd rather be skinny, as he confessed one night in an emotional outpour. I tell him all the time that I'm just as happy with him skinny as I would be with him fat. But still, he continues on.

It's a really awful, gnawing, anguished feeling to know that he thinks I only like weight and that I'll only love him if he weighs more. And what's even worse is that I affirm all these things whenever I get a hand around his softening middle and feel that where there was once bone is now warm, squishy bliss. He doesn't gain weight easily, and so is making himself sick on all these unhealthy, fatty foods.

I don't want him to do this for me. I don't want to get my way this time. I don't want him to feel like my love for him rests upon his growing love handles. I don't want him to endanger his already precarious health for me. And I don' t want to love his new weight as much as I do.

As much as fat admiration is a blessing, I think it can also function as a curse. If, in my life, I were to meet a gorgeous BHM in a cafe, hit it off with him, date, and marry this man and live happily ever after, being an FFA would bring me the most happiness I could find anywhere in the world (in the form of my wonderful BHM husband). But, if I were to meet a scrawny nerd at school, become friends with him, find that we are inseparable, date him, love him, and some day marry him, my fat fetish would be a curse constantly dividing my feelings of bliss right down the center.

Sometimes it's not always as cut-and-dry as 'you should be proud to be an FA and if you don't like thin people date fat people.' Sometimes fate just doesn't turn out to work that way. Now, who am I to say I won't eventually break up with my current boyfriend and find that perfect BHM? But, things being the way they are now, if I were able to change my FA-ness right now, I would. As much pleasure as it brings me, it's just not worth this constant internal struggle.
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Old 11-03-2010, 08:20 PM   #83
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Default Naaa!

I embrace it totally. It is such an enormous turnon, and not just sexually but visually, aesthetically, etc. I've been very happily with my wife for over 20 years, and since she is not that big by DIMs standards I don't have some of the concerns that others might have.

It would be nice to be more bisizeual, but there are plenty of BBW's out there should I (god forbid) ever need another one. Needless to say, anyone who has been with anyone for 20 years, or much shorter even, knows that sex is a GREAT place to start but is hardly sufficient.

Since my partner's attraction to me is so important, I do think I could get along well with a thinner woman but I have no intention of finding out.
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Old 05-27-2011, 11:44 AM   #84
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It would be gone!
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Old 05-27-2011, 12:06 PM   #85
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Although I do not see my self fitting the popular FA stereotype, I still would not change my preferences. I do not see any reason what so ever to do so.
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Old 05-27-2011, 01:56 PM   #86
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Default Success Missed

Oh, yah, too bad I didn't suppress my FA-ness, as I could have had so much more opportunity in my electronics career and been so much richer. Being an FA who also prefers to be SS, myself, has really held me back in this world and I would have been so much wealthier, had I controlled my weight and also only been seen with fit, socially acceptably-figured, women. To hell with what that plastic world has to offer. I'm at peace with my own body and my love of heavy women. A poor man's pillow is his peace of mind (JC Mellencamp)!
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Old 05-27-2011, 11:24 PM   #87
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I don't think I would change my FA-ness. Its helped me become a more accepting and open-minded individual. Heck, I remember being the one who teased the 'fat kid' back when I was a child in elementary school. I could've still been that bastard today if I wasn't an FA.
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Old 05-29-2011, 04:41 AM   #88
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I think that the real question is - "Do you want to be an average person?".

Average means boring.
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Old 05-29-2011, 11:22 AM   #89
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I don't think I would change my FA-ness. Its helped me become a more accepting and open-minded individual. Heck, I remember being the one who teased the 'fat kid' back when I was a child in elementary school. I could've still been that bastard today if I wasn't an FA.
Good Point. I used to think it was a curse...for some reason. But now I view it as a blessing. Being an FA has opened up my once ignorant self. I wouldn't have it any other way.
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Old 05-30-2011, 08:19 AM   #90
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Default I can empathize with Wolfie

I really would not want to change my FA'ness as I receive tremendous pleasure from looking at, thinking about, and fantasizing about beautiful fat women. And I have even come to embrace and enjoy my own weight gain. There is something about letting yourself go, enjoying all the wonderful food that is available, and growing fat, that is really enjoyable and a turn-on in and of itself. However, having said that, my wife of many years, is not particularly pleased with my own weight gain and recently has been on a kick to get in really good shape. When we first married, she slowly and steadily gained 70 lbs. and I was thrilled. She knew my preference for fatter women and seemed to reluctantly give in to my tastes by keeping pace with my own eating habits, etc. Believe it or not she started at 105 lbs. on a 5"0" frame and reached 175 at her heaviest. I was hoping it would continue and she would top 200, but alas she decided she really did not like being that heavy and has gotten down to 140 and has gone on a physical fitness campaign. While I love her very much and support her weight loss goals because it is important to her, like Wolfie, I feel very conflicted inside and almost wish I was not an FA so I could really get turned on by her new figure. But alas it is very difficult. And as I have gotten older and let my true FA feelings develop, I find I am really turned on by even heavier women. Beautiful BBWs who are 250 to 450 lbs. drive me nuts and my petite wife will never fulfill my true desires. I sometimes think how wonderful life would be if I could be with a woman who loved to eat as much as I do, who could revel in the pleasure of gaining weight together, and enjoy a life based on our mutual love of fat.
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Old 05-30-2011, 10:38 AM   #91
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I really would not want to change my FA'ness as I receive tremendous pleasure from looking at, thinking about, and fantasizing about beautiful fat women.
I guess average person (nonFA) has the same pleasure looking at beautiful average woman - so this statement does not make much sense (at least for me).

I know - its cool to look at BBW's (or SSBBW's in my case) - but its not argument about "not to change being an FA".


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Beautiful BBWs who are 250 to 450 lbs. drive me nuts and my petite wife will never fulfill my true desires.
Living like this must be like hell
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Old 05-30-2011, 03:49 PM   #92
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This thread has been a mad eye opener for me, as has been the site for that matter.
I've been trying to understand FA'ness etc, and how it has affected my life being fat and an ignoramus somewhat towards this whole predisposition hmm i dunno what you call it preference, the way it is etc

Just wanting to genuinely thank all the thread contributors, having a moment as you will lol.

Thank you all
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Old 05-30-2011, 07:02 PM   #93
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Yes and no.

I'd love to not be compared to the men who cheat on their spouses, the men who abuse their spouses, the men who abuse AND cheat on their spouses, the men who claim women are too THIN who are too dumb to figure out that's the same as saying someone's too fat, the men who jerk off to pictures and act like a jerk off to other men, the men who jerk off to pictures and have absolutely no chance of ever having a spouse, the men who jerk off to pictures and act like a jerk off to other men while simultaneously having no chance of ever having a spouse....you get the idea. If changing myself meant never being compared to these idiots again, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

The flip side is I met the most loveliest lady by being what I am. I wouldn't change anything about her and I can't fathom not meeting her in the fashion I did if I wasn't an F/A. She's very attractive and while our love is not based on attraction, it certainly helps overall. If changing myself would mean I wouldn't be attracted to her anymore, I wouldn't do it.

So there ya go, it sucks but its great at the same time. A true double edged sword.
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Old 06-04-2011, 01:22 AM   #94
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i wouldn't change anything about it.i LOVE being a FA more then anything.it's just what i like and am attracted to.even if i changed it it would surely come back.
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Old 06-13-2011, 10:00 PM   #95
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I used to often hate the fact that I was attracted to big women because I already am perceived as being weird enough without that distinction being added to my file. The frustration of trying to tear away the many layers of poor self-esteem that most larger women wear like chain mail also got to me. Now that I'm more mature I realize that letting the misguided opinions of others affect my happiness was just silly. I've had a few people tell me that being open about my preference shows a lot of character but I would never go that far because I don't look at being honest with myself as something that I should be praised for. So to answer the question: Nothing at all
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Old 06-23-2011, 01:16 AM   #96
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My answer has changed. I wouldn't change the FA part, not even the fact that I lean towards the SSBBW end of the pool. I'd just get rid of the feedery part. The fat fetishy part. That's all.
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Old 06-23-2011, 02:38 AM   #97
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My answer has changed. I wouldn't change the FA part, not even the fact that I lean towards the SSBBW end of the pool. I'd just get rid of the feedery part. The fat fetishy part. That's all.
Amen, Brothah.
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Old 06-23-2011, 03:17 AM   #98
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Of course, this is with the exception that I'd be a-ok with it if there stood the remote chance of having someone with which I could fully share those things, as opposed to having to hide them, or worse, have them put-up-with for my sake.

But that's theory. In practice, the previous post will suffice.
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Old 06-25-2011, 09:45 PM   #99
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In order to actually want to change something I would first need to feel that it was a negative and I've never felt that as an FA.
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Old 06-29-2011, 04:41 PM   #100
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Absolutely.

I am attracted to large women taller than myself. Women are by definition not attracted to guys shorter than they are, and *certainly* not if they are also large women. Exceptions exist, but the odds of me finding someone who I find sexually attractive, interesting as a person, *and* who feels the same way about me, are negligable.

I'm not ashamed about my taste, but it is an absolute deal-breaker for the vast majority of women, even if I *weren't* extremely unattractive. (At least to the women I have met so far.)

So, I would change my taste to shorter women. I don't know if being attracted to skinnier women would make any difference. Women in this country (the Netherlands) are generally tall, thin, and aloof, so maybe it's best I don't get too attracted to them.
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