Dimensions Forums  
Home Register Premium Membership Stories Ye Olde Library Health Issues Market Place Big Fashion

Go Back   Dimensions Forums > Discussion > FA/FFA forum



Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 07-16-2010, 01:45 AM   #1
Con
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 74
Con can now change their title
Default Shot down... And for a terrible reason.

I'm not really sure where to put this, so anyone with a better idea please point out where it should have gone... Anyway, I've talked to this fantastic red haired godess of a BBW several times, a beautiful woman and she always seemed so sweet and pleasant to talk to, I got a real thing for her ha ha ha. But here's the bad bit, she works in an electrical goods store I go to and I decided I'd summon my courage and ask her on a date, but when I did she got angry and upset because she assumed I didn't mean it and was just trying to mock her or wind her up! I felt so bad for her, and for myself. What the hell do I do? I don't want her thinking i'm an asshole, because I genuinely do have a serious crush on this woman, and also because i'd hate for her to feel like someone was just tryin to upset her or have a laugh at her expense. I'm sure most of us have been there at some point even just as a kid when someone wants to make fun of the fat guy/girl. It's sad to think this woman wouldn't believe I genuinely was attracted to her
Con is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2010, 01:52 AM   #2
Cors
Delurking
 
Cors's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Europe
Posts: 2,762
Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!Cors keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

It has happened to me several times as well. If your approach is not too bold or creepy and you have told her that you are sincere but she refuses to believe you, there is not much you can do. You might be able to convince her if you keep trying, but if her insecurities are that deep then from my experience that usually doesn't work out too well whether she goes out with you or not.
Cors is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2010, 01:59 AM   #3
truebebeblue
Balls,I kicks em.
 
truebebeblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Pittsburgh,PA
Posts: 436
truebebeblue is a pillar of the Dimensions communitytruebebeblue is a pillar of the Dimensions communitytruebebeblue is a pillar of the Dimensions communitytruebebeblue is a pillar of the Dimensions communitytruebebeblue is a pillar of the Dimensions communitytruebebeblue is a pillar of the Dimensions communitytruebebeblue is a pillar of the Dimensions communitytruebebeblue is a pillar of the Dimensions communitytruebebeblue is a pillar of the Dimensions communitytruebebeblue is a pillar of the Dimensions communitytruebebeblue is a pillar of the Dimensions community
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Con View Post
I'm not really sure where to put this, so anyone with a better idea please point out where it should have gone... Anyway, I've talked to this fantastic red haired godess of a BBW several times, a beautiful woman and she always seemed so sweet and pleasant to talk to, I got a real thing for her ha ha ha. But here's the bad bit, she works in an electrical goods store I go to and I decided I'd summon my courage and ask her on a date, but when I did she got angry and upset because she assumed I didn't mean it and was just trying to mock her or wind her up! I felt so bad for her, and for myself. What the hell do I do? I don't want her thinking i'm an asshole, because I genuinely do have a serious crush on this woman, and also because i'd hate for her to feel like someone was just tryin to upset her or have a laugh at her expense. I'm sure most of us have been there at some point even just as a kid when someone wants to make fun of the fat guy/girl. It's sad to think this woman wouldn't believe I genuinely was attracted to her
That sucks!
I am sorry that her self esteem is so bad she doesn't think someone could be attracted to and want to date her.
How did you approach her? Was it in front of other customers or co-workers? Were you alone? I wonder if there was another reason why she would think it was a joke? I want to tell you to approach her again but I do not want to make things worse? Maybe just next time you are there,apologize for upsetting her sort of like... " I am really sorry I upset you last time I saw you,I just have wanted to ask you out for a while and felt like that was the right time.. Are you married or dating someone?"
If she seems to take that okay and says she is single... say "well the offer still stands" and hand her your number(already written down or a card if you have one) If she still seems mad just say "really sorry" and leave it at that. Make sure you are as close to alone or out of earshot of others as possible... don't bring a buddy along for support etc.
Sorry that happened to you! Hope she says yes next time!

I am guilty of doing this ONCE....this gorgeous man started talking to me at a club and I was in a realllly bad headspace.. I said "which of your friends dared you to chat me up?" he said "wow I am really sorry you think that way" and walked off.

True

Last edited by truebebeblue; 07-16-2010 at 02:02 AM.
truebebeblue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2010, 02:11 AM   #4
Con
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 74
Con can now change their title
Default

Wow that was a quick reply! So sad to think that she could have got to that stage where she just point blank couldn't think anyone was interested. Such an unfair world. The last thing I wanted to do was upset her. Nope I don't think my approach was too bold, it took me nearly the whole day tryin to work myself up to actually go in there and ask her. Definately wasn't creepy either, and i'm a polite, well spoken guy and generally do quite well socially as I enjoy conversation and meeting people, so I was fairly confident that I presented myself reasonably well, a little nervous perhaps seeing as If I do really like a woman then I can get quite apprehensive about asking her out due to having put up with a whole lot of rejection myself, but I get over it. Strangely I've had more success with smaller women than with BBWs (who are the ones who really do it for me not the little chicks, I mean I like all women but I REALLY like BBWs) probably because i'm less worried about if I'll be shot down, but anyway, that's beside the point. I do think I did my best with this woman and didn't seem weird or pushy or anything, and I've spoken to her several times before and we had good conversations and seemed to get on well yet she obviously though my request was insincere. I'll go back and try to explain and apologise to her for any upset as I genuinely didn't mean any, but I really hope she believes me.
Con is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2010, 02:13 AM   #5
LoveBHMS
default title
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 4,071
LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Obviously none of us know the exact situation, but when you say you were "talking" to her, does that mean online? Was it on a fat positive dating site? Or do you mean talking to her at her job or school?

I'm not saying you did anything wrong, but i'm also not sure asking somebody out when she's at work is really a good idea. What if she got in trouble with her boss because he thought she was socializing at work or that she encouraged a friend to come by and chat during her workday?

I agree with True though, i think you should call or write a note apologizing for upsetting her and let her know your offer was serious and you want to go out with her. Even if she is just insecure, maybe asking twice or re-affirming your FA'ness and attraction to her will let her overcome it. I really hate the idea that just because somebody has some insecurities or emotional issues they should just be written off.
__________________
It was all very careless and confused.
LoveBHMS is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2010, 02:17 AM   #6
LoveBHMS
default title
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 4,071
LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!LoveBHMS keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Strangely I've had more success with smaller women than with BBWs (who are the ones who really do it for me not the little chicks, I mean I like all women but I REALLY like BBWs) probably because i'm less worried about if I'll be shot down, but anyway, that's beside the point.
I'm sure you're a nice person, but please reread this comment. If you're "not worried about being shot down" because you're not interested in smaller women, please don't ask them out. Not because you should be worried about being rejected, but if what goes through your mind is "well it's not a big deal if you say no because ultimately i'm not super hot for you" then it's really mean to ask her out in the first place. What if a girl really likes you? Would you want her to know when you approched her that you wouldn't really have cared if she said no?

Why are you even going after smaller women if they "don't really do it for you"?
__________________
It was all very careless and confused.
LoveBHMS is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2010, 02:24 AM   #7
Con
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 74
Con can now change their title
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by truebebeblue View Post
That sucks!
I am sorry that her self esteem is so bad she doesn't think someone could be attracted to and want to date her.
How did you approach her? Was it in front of other customers or co-workers? Were you alone? I wonder if there was another reason why she would think it was a joke? I want to tell you to approach her again but I do not want to make things worse? Maybe just next time you are there,apologize for upsetting her sort of like... " I am really sorry I upset you last time I saw you,I just have wanted to ask you out for a while and felt like that was the right time.. Are you married or dating someone?"
If she seems to take that okay and says she is single... say "well the offer still stands" and hand her your number(already written down or a card if you have one) If she still seems mad just say "really sorry" and leave it at that. Make sure you are as close to alone or out of earshot of others as possible... don't bring a buddy along for support etc.
Sorry that happened to you! Hope she says yes next time!

I am guilty of doing this ONCE....this gorgeous man started talking to me at a club and I was in a realllly bad headspace.. I said "which of your friends dared you to chat me up?" he said "wow I am really sorry you think that way" and walked off.

True
Sadly I did the things which you suggested, as in I was on my own, and I didn't do it when there was other staff there because I knew that'd be embarrassing for her, I only took my chance because there was only one other member of staff there and he was way down at the back of the store going into the stock room and 3 customers busy looking at computers and it's a big store so we had as much privacy as we could have had. Yeah I'll go back but I don't think I can get my hopes up. I know she's single because she said it when we talked before. If it turns out she's not into me that's ok too, (i'm no chiseled statue ha ha, but I guess I have some good points as i'm sometimes successful) but i'd hate to have wasted a chance to go out with her just because she took me up wrong
Con is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2010, 02:27 AM   #8
truebebeblue
Balls,I kicks em.
 
truebebeblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Pittsburgh,PA
Posts: 436
truebebeblue is a pillar of the Dimensions communitytruebebeblue is a pillar of the Dimensions communitytruebebeblue is a pillar of the Dimensions communitytruebebeblue is a pillar of the Dimensions communitytruebebeblue is a pillar of the Dimensions communitytruebebeblue is a pillar of the Dimensions communitytruebebeblue is a pillar of the Dimensions communitytruebebeblue is a pillar of the Dimensions communitytruebebeblue is a pillar of the Dimensions communitytruebebeblue is a pillar of the Dimensions communitytruebebeblue is a pillar of the Dimensions community
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBHMS View Post
I'm sure you're a nice person, but please reread this comment. If you're "not worried about being shot down" because you're not interested in smaller women, please don't ask them out. Not because you should be worried about being rejected, but if what goes through your mind is "well it's not a big deal if you say no because ultimately i'm not super hot for you" then it's really mean to ask her out in the first place. What if a girl really likes you? Would you want her to know when you approched her that you wouldn't really have cared if she said no?

Why are you even going after smaller women if they "don't really do it for you"?

I agree, this is the same sentiment i have heard about asking out "fat chicks" because who cares if they turn you down!

To the Op just try again... if she has the same reaction you did your best...
and someone that insecure may be a VERY difficult person to be in a relationship with. Dating a person who doubts your attraction constantly can be really horrible.

Good Luck

True
truebebeblue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2010, 03:15 AM   #9
Con
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 74
Con can now change their title
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBHMS View Post
I'm sure you're a nice person, but please reread this comment. If you're "not worried about being shot down" because you're not interested in smaller women, please don't ask them out. Not because you should be worried about being rejected, but if what goes through your mind is "well it's not a big deal if you say no because ultimately i'm not super hot for you" then it's really mean to ask her out in the first place. What if a girl really likes you? Would you want her to know when you approched her that you wouldn't really have cared if she said no?

Why are you even going after smaller women if they "don't really do it for you"?
Sometimes It's hard to say things without it coming across wrong.... Damn it, let's see... I'll try to make some sort of explanation. It seems to have sounded bad to you but what I meant was that lots of women "do it for me", I'm an admirer of many female shapes, forms and attributes in general, but I often find BBWs even more attractive than other women, I guess i'm a lover of women but large woman in particular. But for example I particularly like redheads and very dark black hair, but if I meet a blonde who I also find attractive and I get talking to her and i'm enjoying talking to her etc, and it's going well then that's good too. I hope that sounds better somehow, sometimes I don't like writing things down on forums etc because I think it'd be easier for you to see what I intended who i'm saying things if you met me and were talking to me in person, I think i'm better at conversation in person, though I guess most people are, it's easier to see the tone things are said in I guess. I still don't quite know how to explain what I meant, but it wasn't meant in the way it came across to you, and i'm sorry for that. I can be highly attracted to a personality rather than an exterior look sometimes, my last girlfriend won me over on the phone as I had to call her company a lot for work and we kind of hit it off I suppose, i'd never been there in person but then one day I was and I asked her out and we were together several months but after a while we ended up deciding that it wasn't going right and we parted amicably, she was not a BBW but my girlfriend before her was. It might seems strange for me to say I like many types of women, but I do, however, i'm on this site for a reason which is that I guess my desires are beginning to lean exclusively towards BBWs, whereas before I hadn't got such a clear preference. I would never use or abuse any woman, and the few I have been wit, I appreciate them all and enjoyed my time with them.
Con is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2010, 03:28 AM   #10
Con
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 74
Con can now change their title
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by truebebeblue View Post
I agree, this is the same sentiment i have heard about asking out "fat chicks" because who cares if they turn you down!

To the Op just try again... if she has the same reaction you did your best...
and someone that insecure may be a VERY difficult person to be in a relationship with. Dating a person who doubts your attraction constantly can be really horrible.

Good Luck

True
Thank you for your advice True it's appreciated, I'll give it a shot. I just needed to express how it had affected me that this poor woman had reacted badly and thought I was having fun at her expense because I really didn't mean to make her think that, it'd be awful for someone to do that, and believe me, my own confidence is well shaken again. At this stage I'd be delighted if she said yes, but i'd still be happy enough if she turned me down but just believed me that I was being sincere, that'd be ok. If I can't convince her that I'm not an asshole who'd do somethin like that then I don't think I could go back in there ever because i'd know she thought I was this mean guy who upset her for fun. And as for the mentality of asking out someone because you don't care, I promise you all I am not a person like that and I don't do that with anyone whether they be fat, thin or in between.
Con is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2010, 03:50 AM   #11
truebebeblue
Balls,I kicks em.
 
truebebeblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Pittsburgh,PA
Posts: 436
truebebeblue is a pillar of the Dimensions communitytruebebeblue is a pillar of the Dimensions communitytruebebeblue is a pillar of the Dimensions communitytruebebeblue is a pillar of the Dimensions communitytruebebeblue is a pillar of the Dimensions communitytruebebeblue is a pillar of the Dimensions communitytruebebeblue is a pillar of the Dimensions communitytruebebeblue is a pillar of the Dimensions communitytruebebeblue is a pillar of the Dimensions communitytruebebeblue is a pillar of the Dimensions communitytruebebeblue is a pillar of the Dimensions community
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Con View Post
Thank you for your advice True it's appreciated, I'll give it a shot. I just needed to express how it had affected me that this poor woman had reacted badly and thought I was having fun at her expense because I really didn't mean to make her think that, it'd be awful for someone to do that, and believe me, my own confidence is well shaken again. At this stage I'd be delighted if she said yes, but i'd still be happy enough if she turned me down but just believed me that I was being sincere, that'd be ok. If I can't convince her that I'm not an asshole who'd do somethin like that then I don't think I could go back in there ever because i'd know she thought I was this mean guy who upset her for fun. And as for the mentality of asking out someone because you don't care, I promise you all I am not a person like that and I don't do that with anyone whether they be fat, thin or in between.
I get what you meant,the more attractive a woman is to you the more nervous you get talking to or asking her out. I don't think that is uncommon. Sometimes things don't come out as you intended,Don't sweat it. I hope she says yes.


True
truebebeblue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2010, 06:35 AM   #12
willowmoon
Don't Panic!
 
willowmoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Northeast Wisconsin
Posts: 3,593
willowmoon has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!willowmoon has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!willowmoon has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!willowmoon has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!willowmoon has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!willowmoon has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!willowmoon has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!willowmoon has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!willowmoon has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!willowmoon has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!willowmoon has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Also just make sure you handle it tactfully, don't go with the "i love really big women" bit, just let her know that you feel that the two of you get along pretty well and would like to hang out one of these times outside of her work. Maybe the two of you have some common interests that might make her feel at ease with you as far as a place to go, that sort of thing. Good luck !!
willowmoon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2010, 07:44 AM   #13
Tad
mostly harmless
 
Tad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,431
Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.Tad has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

1) What trubebeblue said--excellent advice I think.

2) Make sure to give her your email as well as your number. If she's not feeling bold enough to call, maybe she'll at least write? And maybe the one additional thing to say, or put into a note, is: If you don't trust me enough for a date yet, how about talking or writing for a while, so you'll see I'm sincere? (or words to that effect.) Show that you are willing to put in the time to let her get to know you and build some trust.
__________________
Criticism is so often nothing more than the eye garrulously denouncing the shape of the peephole that gives access to hidden treasure.
-Djuna Barnes, writer and artist
Tad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2010, 07:46 AM   #14
mercy
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 296
mercy carries a lot of weight on this boardmercy carries a lot of weight on this boardmercy carries a lot of weight on this boardmercy carries a lot of weight on this boardmercy carries a lot of weight on this board
Default

Have you tried just leaving a note or something to explain you weren't being a dick? Don't get stalkerish or anything, but maybe leave a note in her place of work with your number on it and explain you were genuine and you're sorry for any offence caused.

I wouldn't push it too much, because otherwise it's going to come off as creepy, but if you can explain better in words than face-to-face then it's worth a try.
mercy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2010, 10:06 AM   #15
Con
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 74
Con can now change their title
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by willowmoon View Post
Also just make sure you handle it tactfully, don't go with the "i love really big women" bit,
ha ha thanks don't worry i won't say that
Con is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2010, 10:09 AM   #16
Con
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 74
Con can now change their title
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by mercy View Post
Have you tried just leaving a note or something to explain you weren't being a dick? Don't get stalkerish or anything, but maybe leave a note in her place of work with your number on it and explain you were genuine and you're sorry for any offence caused.

I wouldn't push it too much, because otherwise it's going to come off as creepy, but if you can explain better in words than face-to-face then it's worth a try.
Sometimes i'm better in person than in writing, so i think i'll go in once, and try to apologise for the upset, and try tell her i was serious, and i'll leave it at that, if it doesnt go well then i won't persue it any further, to save us both any more undue trauma.
Con is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2010, 10:11 AM   #17
Con
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 74
Con can now change their title
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tad View Post
1) What trubebeblue said--excellent advice I think.

2) Make sure to give her your email as well as your number. If she's not feeling bold enough to call, maybe she'll at least write? And maybe the one additional thing to say, or put into a note, is: If you don't trust me enough for a date yet, how about talking or writing for a while, so you'll see I'm sincere? (or words to that effect.) Show that you are willing to put in the time to let her get to know you and build some trust.
thanks, you know i may try just sayin that to her, not sure about leaving a note, but i may decided to do that in the end. Nice to se eso many helpful comments and suggestions
Con is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2010, 11:35 AM   #18
brimpy
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 4
brimpy has said some nice things
Default

Update this thread if you meet up and things go well.

I had a similar experience last year. I gave up, it seemed like she had some issues or a chip on her shoulder that would've prevented us from getting along. I can understand where she was coming from, but anyways.
brimpy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-21-2010, 11:33 AM   #19
thirtiesgirl
frumious bandersnatch
 
thirtiesgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Loss Angeles
Posts: 1,461
thirtiesgirl makes people happy simply by logging inthirtiesgirl makes people happy simply by logging inthirtiesgirl makes people happy simply by logging inthirtiesgirl makes people happy simply by logging inthirtiesgirl makes people happy simply by logging inthirtiesgirl makes people happy simply by logging inthirtiesgirl makes people happy simply by logging inthirtiesgirl makes people happy simply by logging inthirtiesgirl makes people happy simply by logging inthirtiesgirl makes people happy simply by logging in
Default

I'm sorry the woman wasn't receptive to you, but my recommendation would be to leave her alone. First off, why would you want to date someone who appears to have very low self-esteem? If you've ever done it before, you'll realize that it's not healthy behavior to build a relationship on. Secondly, regardless of a woman's self-esteem, if she doesn't respond to your initial advance, don't advance again. Respect her wish to be left alone. Her anger may be a cover for other things she doesn't want to talk about with you. Maybe she was sexually assaulted in the past and doesn't respond well to men she doesn't know approaching her to ask her out. You never know. It isn't always about you if a woman doesn't respond. Take your lumps, move on and find another woman to approach.
__________________
Some girls are bigger than others. ~The Smiths
thirtiesgirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-11-2010, 03:54 PM   #20
Fox
 
Fox's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 379
Fox is a member of the 500 clubFox is a member of the 500 clubFox is a member of the 500 clubFox is a member of the 500 clubFox is a member of the 500 clubFox is a member of the 500 club
Default

If a anyone did that to me, I would be soooo offended. I would NOT talk to her again.
Fox is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-11-2010, 04:12 PM   #21
CastingPearls
Go Big Or Go Home
 
CastingPearls's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Possum Grape, AR
Posts: 15,178
CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

This happened to me and it had nothing to do with low self-esteem.

He was a coworker and I was completely clueless that he liked me. My dad worked there too and they worked together at times and so it was natural to talk with him and I never realized he was sweet on me until he called me in the middle of the night and pretended the alarm was set off wrong and he would be coming in a few minutes late and could I go out with him.

My initial reaction was one of surprise and I sincerely thought he was joking (because he was naturally a very funny guy) and I laughed. Granted, had it been in person I'm sure I could have read his body language. So we hung up and I sat there thinking about it and it dawned on me belatedly that all those times he was talking to me he was indeed checking me out.

The following afternoon when he came into the office I slipped him a note saying how silly I was and that I was interested if he was. He was stung however and said he didn't know what I was talking about. I was crushed and let it go but then he started to serenade me with cowboy songs outside the window of my office. This went on for months with nothing coming of it even though he had plenty of opportunities and I gave him enough signals but he wouldn't try again. Because he rejected my apologetic note, I was too proud to try again. I guess, in retrospect, we both were.

One day he was injured on the job and I had to fill out the accident report. He sat there alone with me in the office (everyone knew what was going on and left us alone in the hopes we would get together) and at one point turned to me and said, 'You hate me, don't you?' I was appalled that he would think that and that I even gave that impression and told him absolutely not and that I really did like him. Still he did nothing. So, I let it go and moved on.

Interesting enough he found me on Facebook and I know he visits my profile but he still never says anything and that ship sailed a long long time ago.

If you really like her, please be honest and tell her you really really like her. Don't let an opportunity like that pass you by, as we did.
__________________
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]http://castingpearls-blowingbubbles.blogspot.com/

Free me, free yourself
A life of sacrifice controlled me
But those promises I made
No longer hold me
Mercurial more wayward by the hour
The shackles fall away I'm in your power



People throw rocks at things that shine.
CastingPearls is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-14-2010, 05:42 PM   #22
Con
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 74
Con can now change their title
Default

Well i'm back, and have an update... I did actually make one last attempt to prove I was serious and not being mean/making fun of her, and in a way it went well, in another way it didn't. She doesn't think I'm mean anymore, and we had some coffee after she finished work, and she was happy that I was genuinely attracted to her, but it's not going to go anywhere it's alright though as I said i'd be ok even if she just didn't think I was makin fun of her, which she now doesn't. We had a good talk, and I won't really go into it because it was kind of private and personal but the issue is now resolved anyway. It's a shame because I was and still am quite taken with her, but time to move on
Con is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-14-2010, 06:06 PM   #23
liz (di-va)
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 4,137
liz (di-va) has ascended what used to be the highest level.liz (di-va) has ascended what used to be the highest level.liz (di-va) has ascended what used to be the highest level.liz (di-va) has ascended what used to be the highest level.liz (di-va) has ascended what used to be the highest level.liz (di-va) has ascended what used to be the highest level.liz (di-va) has ascended what used to be the highest level.liz (di-va) has ascended what used to be the highest level.liz (di-va) has ascended what used to be the highest level.liz (di-va) has ascended what used to be the highest level.liz (di-va) has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Good for you, I'd say...you did what you could, you had a talk as friends, it sounds like. I'm sorry it didn't work out, but good for you.
liz (di-va) is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-14-2010, 06:30 PM   #24
BigBeautifulMe
That was a heart.
 
BigBeautifulMe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Sydney, Australia as of January 2014!
Posts: 7,503
BigBeautifulMe has ascended what used to be the highest level.BigBeautifulMe has ascended what used to be the highest level.BigBeautifulMe has ascended what used to be the highest level.BigBeautifulMe has ascended what used to be the highest level.BigBeautifulMe has ascended what used to be the highest level.BigBeautifulMe has ascended what used to be the highest level.BigBeautifulMe has ascended what used to be the highest level.BigBeautifulMe has ascended what used to be the highest level.BigBeautifulMe has ascended what used to be the highest level.BigBeautifulMe has ascended what used to be the highest level.BigBeautifulMe has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Agree with Liz - good job resolving it at least.

I don't know how much of it is a self-esteem thing, and how much is an experience thing.

When I was in high school, that was the favorite joke of the assholes who teased me and berated me for being fat. "Hahaha, Ginny, this guy has a crush on you! Hahaha! He loooooves you!" "Hey Ginny, will you go out with me! Those legs are SLAMMIN! Hahahahahaha."

They used it as a joke and to make me feel bad on a daily basis. Is it any wonder most fat women won't believe a guy when he says he's attracted to her? I really wish teenage guys wouldn't pull this shit. It affects more than just school life.
__________________
"I am a size 0 if you multiply my current size by 0." - liz (di-va)

"I just think your culinary choices could use more death of sentient creatures. Is that so wrong?" - Mini

-Rosebud- I am imagining how lovely it would be to see your golden hair rising up over my belly when you are between my thighs
-Rosebud- Like a cunnilingus sunrise
BigBeautifulMe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-14-2010, 06:30 PM   #25
Con
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 74
Con can now change their title
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by liz (di-va) View Post
Good for you, I'd say...you did what you could, you had a talk as friends, it sounds like. I'm sorry it didn't work out, but good for you.
Yeah it's ok i guess, the main thing was that i didnt want her to think i was a bad person who'd do something mean like that, and she doesnt, and seems happy enough with it. However it hasnt been great for my confidence in finding someone to share life with though, gets lonely sometimes, and stuff like this is ahrd because i feel like i've missed out. Not the most macho manly thing to say, but i figure people seem to be pretty honest here, so thats what im doing
Con is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:29 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright Dimensions Magazine. All rights reserved worldwide.