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View Poll Results: How Often do you date or have relationships with FAs?
I have only dated and had relationships with FAs 7 11.48%
I have mainly dated and had relationships with FAs 15 24.59%
I have mainly dated and had relationships with non-FAs 30 49.18%
I only date and have relationships with non- FAs 9 14.75%
Voters: 61. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 07-21-2010, 10:06 AM   #1
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Default Is Your Lovelife FA Centered

We naturally always talk about FAs here but how many of you are actually dating, married to or are havng a relationship with an FA? Have you always dated them? Have you had the opportunity? What has influenced your choices?
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Old 07-21-2010, 11:01 AM   #2
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I've been wanting to explore this issue for a while on here now. Thanks for starting the thread.

My one question...how are we defining "FA"? Because obviously any guy I date is open to seeing the beauty of the bulge, but he may or may not identify as an FA specifically. But any guy dating me is kind of a de facto FA...y'know? So do you mean guys who are actually involved in the community, or guys who call themselves FAs, or just any guy that dates only fat women?
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Old 07-21-2010, 11:28 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by mcbeth View Post
I've been wanting to explore this issue for a while on here now. Thanks for starting the thread.

My one question...how are we defining "FA"? Because obviously any guy I date is open to seeing the beauty of the bulge, but he may or may not identify as an FA specifically. But any guy dating me is kind of a de facto FA...y'know? So do you mean guys who are actually involved in the community, or guys who call themselves FAs, or just any guy that dates only fat women?
i as thinking about that myself. what if we define it as someone who defines himself as an FA for these purposes.
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Old 07-21-2010, 02:04 PM   #4
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I have little/nothing to do with FAs, I pretty much never meet them in the normal course of life. Briefly in my teens I was with a few self described FAs I met online, otherwise it's all been guys I know have also dated slender women. I find myself far more comfortable with the 'bi-sizuals', so this has worked out.

I am honestly put off on many levels by the food+sex aspect some FAs have, and the ones I dated offered food a lot and got upset when I didn't eat 'enough'. One even went on to lecture me about how it was okay to eat what I wanted-seemingly missing the point there. It deeply irritates me when people focus on my eating habits, my family loved to discuss them at length growing up due to the oddity of me being born vegetarian, not even cos I was fat. So while it's slightly different with these feeder types it makes me just as annoyed as my aunt scrutinizing my holiday meals=instant deal breaker.

My 'bi' boys never gave a crap about what I ate or didn't so that made me comfortable eating with them, and thus more comfortable overall. I wouldn't discount an FA out of hand since that isn't fair and not all are feeders -though seemingly all the ones I dated had clear tendencies. I feel anyone with those tendencies is simply going to be disappointed with me, so I don't seek FAs to date anymore.
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Old 07-21-2010, 06:23 PM   #5
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I always avoided men who had a very specific and narrow body size preference. I don't have a "deal maker or breaker" physical preference as far as men go, so I don't really understand it much and wouldn't be able to relate. And also I didn't want to risk an emotional attachment with somebody whose attraction to me depended on my maintaining a specific body weight range, whether it be on the low or high end of the scale. Mostly I've stuck with guys who either were true lovers of the infinite variety of the female form, or whose preferences fell along a very broad spectrum. I've ranged from plump to supersized and all points inbetween, and to be completely honest, it's comforting to know that no matter wherever I happen to be on the scale at any given time, the men in my life find me attractive.

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Old 07-22-2010, 04:30 PM   #6
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I'm not sure if my boyfriend really describes himself as an FA, but he is pretty upfront that he prefers bigger girls. However, he does point out girls to me that he thinks are cute that range from thin to much bigger than me. His girlfriend right now is smaller than I am, probably about a size 18-20, whereas I'm around a size 26.
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Old 07-23-2010, 02:47 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by superodalisque View Post
We naturally always talk about FAs here but how many of you are actually dating, married to or are havng a relationship with an FA? Have you always dated them? Have you had the opportunity? What has influenced your choices?
I have never dated anyone that self described as an FA, but everyone I have had any kind of relationship with has found fat women just as appealing as thin women.

I guess if I found myself in the dating pool again I might date someone who only digs fat chicks, but it wouldn't be a prerequisite.
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Old 07-23-2010, 03:17 AM   #8
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My ex was an fa or so he said yet whenever I saw his porn stash ect it was for the most part skinny girl stuff and to be honest his exes were (well most people are compared to me) pretty skinny for bbw's
I was the biggest girl he dated

as for other guys for the most part they were attracted to me for me size diddnt enter into the relationships prior to that

so umm hard to say at the moment, not currently being persued or have anyone interested in me so will let you know when I do
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Old 07-23-2010, 05:24 AM   #9
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I am married 17 years to an FA - I only ever dated FA's. My closest friend is an FA. I love FA's. I don't see a problem with a man who is first turned on by my body.

I think ruling out FA's you're missing out on something special.
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Old 07-23-2010, 05:55 AM   #10
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The men I have been with didn't even know the word existed. I mentioned it in a conversation on a sort of recent date and the guy asked me to explain. When I did he said - "I like women, fat and thin. Fat works for some in my opinion and not on others. I like it on you so I suppose for you I'm an FA." I personally don't care what you call yourself I just want a guy who is into me and my body - no matter the physical changes I may undergo as time goes on.
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Old 07-23-2010, 10:09 AM   #11
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I only ever dated one outright FA. All the rest were not really into big girls. They've even said so. Most have said to me some variable of "I'm not usually into big girls but I couldn't resist you somehow." So I guess that's okay.

I do know that the experience with me turned ONE ex of mine into a full-blown FA. He's now engaged to a girl who's about a size 20. But is tall and carries it really well.

The one FA I dated was kinda fun because he wasn't the creepy fetishy type. He just made it known and knew how to compliment where I wouldn't feel creeped out or anything. I'd like to meet another guy like that.

FA or not, so long as he enjoys my company and won't harass me about my body, I'm pretty sure I'll be fine with him.
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Old 07-23-2010, 11:32 AM   #12
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A man can be first turned on by your body without identifying as being a ' fa '.

I like men who are into my body, but who are not in need of a labeled folder for who and what he is. To tell you the truth, the obsessive nature of some of the I AM A FA! proclamations - just becomes tiresome. Of course, lots of men have never heard the term and just know what they like. I like those men....always have...always will.
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Old 07-23-2010, 12:03 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by CarlaSixx View Post
FA or not, so long as he enjoys my company and won't harass me about my body, I'm pretty sure I'll be fine with him.
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Originally Posted by mossystate View Post
A man can be first turned on by your body without identifying as being a ' fa '.

I like men who are into my body, but who are not in need of a labeled folder for who and what he is. To tell you the truth, the obsessive nature of some of the I AM A FA! proclamations - just becomes tiresome. Of course, lots of men have never heard the term and just know what they like. I like those men....always have...always will.
I'd agree with both these statements.

Of the men I've dated so far, only one openly identified as FA, and I met him on a fat dating website. He truly liked me for everything I had to offer, though, personality and body included. Unfortunately, he was a functioning alcoholic, so the relationship couldn't continue. But I met him after a long period of meeting guys online who either didn't find me attractive, were only interested in fetishizing fat, or were only interested in casual sex. So it was great to meet a guy who could appreciate me for everything I have to offer. Too damn bad he was an alcoholic.

All the other guys I've dated and had relationships with didn't openly identify as FAs, and I'm sure some of them were unfamiliar with the term. Most of them liked me, which is all I really require. They don't need to put a name on it.

I did, however, meet one interesting guy online a few years back, who openly identified as a hirsutist, meaning he was really into women with a lot of body hair. He also didn't seem to have an issue dating fat women, although it wasn't a body type he included in his "what I'm looking for" description (which was mostly focused on body hair and stating his preference for women with dark hair, thick eyebrows and a Mediterranean complexion). When I asked him about dating fat women and described my body shape to him, he didn't seem to have a problem with it at all. Unfortunately, though, the relationship never got off the ground because apparently I wasn't hairy enough for him. ...Ah well. If it's not fat, it's always something else.
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Old 07-23-2010, 03:32 PM   #14
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My partner is an Ash admirer. She doesn't care whether I lose or gain, but she really loves my chub. She doesn't call herself an FA - she just likes what she likes and that's that.
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Old 07-24-2010, 08:40 AM   #15
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Ideally, any partner I have would find a wide variety of sizes beautiful, because who knows what will happen to one's body in the future. But I find myself dating mostly FAs.

My experience has been that the non-FAs seemed to have a much narrower range of acceptable sizes for women, and I've pretty much grown out of the general range. The FAs I've met were okay with where I was back then, where I am now, and, presumably, where I might be if I gained or lost weight. Then again, I don't date FAs that just want me bigger and bigger, no matter where I am now.
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Old 07-24-2010, 11:07 AM   #16
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I'm pretty open when it comes to this, honestly. I marked that I've mostly dated non-FAs, because I think I've only been out with a couple of guys who would identify themselves that way, even if they did have a preference for bigger women. The rest were more open and seemed to just love WOMEN in general, whatever the shape of their bodies.

I look for open and exploratory experiences in the bedroom (not that I have too much of a wealth of experience to draw from), but in my experience the narrower a guy's desires about what he's into about a woman's body, sometimes the narrower range of stuff he's willing or wanting to try out. That's not at all true of all self-professed FAs, since lots of FAs also have wide ranges of bodies and looks they're attracted to. But I have found that if a guy is like "I only want a woman who weighs 354.7 pounds, is 5'8", blonde, and with C cup breasts", he often tends to also be like, "And in bed I want to do specifically X and Y with her." And I don't like the vibe that all that specificity in bed can create. I like a more blank canvas, that gets filled as we go along. Not that people can't have certain things they like or need, but for me there needs to be a high amount of openness and going with the flow too.

As long as that's there, and we are enjoying each other's bodies, it works for me. Honestly, it's much harder for me to find someone to enjoy on a mental/emotional/spiritual level than a physical...so while the FA thing can be really great, it's just one slice of the pie.
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Old 07-24-2010, 11:09 AM   #17
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i've never dated, or had a sexual experience with an FA.

My boyfriend dated a girl bigger than me before we were together, but he does not have a preference for big girls - I asked him. He said my 'size' is the bigger end of what he is attracted to.

I THINK it would be nice to experience an FA, but who knows if what it 'is' in my mind is right!

Although i'm glad I found Dims, and therefore the size acceptance community, it doesn't really factor into my day to day life. I'm fat- people can see it. I expect them to accept it.
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Old 07-24-2010, 11:32 AM   #18
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I don't know, I find questions like this to be really strange. It's like a gay man claiming his lover isn't gay/bi, he just likes him for him. Come on now.
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Old 07-24-2010, 12:09 PM   #19
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I don't know, I find questions like this to be really strange. It's like a gay man claiming his lover isn't gay/bi, he just likes him for him. Come on now.
Kinda different though don't ya think Lilly? I mean a gay man pretty much would have to have a lover who's gay/bi, otherwise they'd be straight right? A fat woman could have a relationship with someone who doesn't necessarily prefer a fat partner.

For example, my s/o is a big guy who's two inches shorter than me. My preference for men is tall and athletic with a slender build, but that doesn't stop me from truly loving my partner and enjoying his body. Me being in a relationship with him doesn't make me an FA, just makes me a him admirer.
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Old 07-24-2010, 12:11 PM   #20
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Yeah I don't know how to answer this....

Most men I dated/sexed was into ME, not necessarily my size. In fact I was the first (and in a few cases only) BBW they were ever with.

The only man that I dated who I would actually define as an FA has no idea about the SA movement or descriptives like FA, BBW, BHM. He knew what he loved which was fat women and all their glory, especially mine. God I miss him.

Meanwhile, I'm married to to a self-identified FA who honestly seems to be more attracted to me specifically and not necessarily my fat rather than fat women in general which is okay (but not really cos there are other issues.)

Not very simple at all.
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A life of sacrifice controlled me
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Mercurial more wayward by the hour
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People throw rocks at things that shine.

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Old 07-24-2010, 01:31 PM   #21
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Kinda different though don't ya think Lilly? I mean a gay man pretty much would have to have a lover who's gay/bi, otherwise they'd be straight right? A fat woman could have a relationship with someone who doesn't necessarily prefer a fat partner.

For example, my s/o is a big guy who's two inches shorter than me. My preference for men is tall and athletic with a slender build, but that doesn't stop me from truly loving my partner and enjoying his body. Me being in a relationship with him doesn't make me an FA, just makes me a him admirer.
For now I'm standing by what I've said. Not saying that it is impossible for me to change my mind but unless you're willing to go on record as saying you find your S/Os body unattractive but you're with him anyway because he's got a great mind my opinion stands. I just don't believe that a person can be convinced into finding someone attractive.
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Old 07-24-2010, 01:53 PM   #22
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I have little/nothing to do with FAs, I pretty much never meet them in the normal course of life. Briefly in my teens I was with a few self described FAs I met online, otherwise it's all been guys I know have also dated slender women. I find myself far more comfortable with the 'bi-sizuals', so this has worked out.

I am honestly put off on many levels by the food+sex aspect some FAs have, and the ones I dated offered food a lot and got upset when I didn't eat 'enough'. One even went on to lecture me about how it was okay to eat what I wanted-seemingly missing the point there. It deeply irritates me when people focus on my eating habits, my family loved to discuss them at length growing up due to the oddity of me being born vegetarian, not even cos I was fat. So while it's slightly different with these feeder types it makes me just as annoyed as my aunt scrutinizing my holiday meals=instant deal breaker.

My 'bi' boys never gave a crap about what I ate or didn't so that made me comfortable eating with them, and thus more comfortable overall. I wouldn't discount an FA out of hand since that isn't fair and not all are feeders -though seemingly all the ones I dated had clear tendencies. I feel anyone with those tendencies is simply going to be disappointed with me, so I don't seek FAs to date anymore.
Apparently, I have to spread my rep around [which always makes me feel a little sleazy ]

I agree and love your use of the word "bi-sizuals" . . .

We should put it to a vote and add that to our vernacular!

muah!
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Old 07-24-2010, 02:39 PM   #23
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For now I'm standing by what I've said. Not saying that it is impossible for me to change my mind but unless you're willing to go on record as saying you find your S/Os body unattractive but you're with him anyway because he's got a great mind my opinion stands. I just don't believe that a person can be convinced into finding someone attractive.
Oh no that's not what I'm saying at all. I personally don't beleive you can make a relationship work with someone you find physically unappealing. Just that you can have a relationship, a happy, healthy, long relationship with someone who's body may not be what makes you stop in the street and turn around for another look.
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Old 07-24-2010, 05:12 PM   #24
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Oh no that's not what I'm saying at all. I personally don't beleive you can make a relationship work with someone you find physically unappealing. Just that you can have a relationship, a happy, healthy, long relationship with someone who's body may not be what makes you stop in the street and turn around for another look.
I agree. I think that this is true for most people. A person can be perfectly happy with their beloved spouse but still go weak in the knees over Angelina Jolie or that Edward Cullen character. A preferred body type or look may not necessarily be the 'be all/end all' for a successful relationship but there has to be at least some kind of attraction there.
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Old 07-24-2010, 07:02 PM   #25
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There's no option for having been with/dated both.
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