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Old 09-18-2010, 06:18 PM   #26
CarlaSixx
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From my experiences with men, and lots of women as well, that is indeed the stereotype. Not a fun thing to go through. The only reason I carry a purse is because wallets make me look horrible when stuffed in my pockets and I can't wear a backpack. Not that I would really trust it, either, cuz it's so easy to steal from one.
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Old 09-18-2010, 10:51 PM   #27
Dmitra
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The last time I cut my long hair (small of the back length, at that) off, I did get a lot of what did you do that for comments which I've gotten each time previous, too. It seems like I usually get taken for a guy when my hair hits just below chin length for some reason. I've had people call me a boy when I was standing right next to my dad, when talking on the phone (tho my voice isn't that deep), when playing at recess, etc. I didn't mind so much when I was a kid/teenager and it was "safer" to be thought of as a boy (issues, meh).

It sounds like it's common for women like us, Blu and Carla, to keep well covered up and be mistaken for guys despite our obviously female bodies. What's up with that? Is it seriously something as irritatingly unconscious as the dominant societal dogma that women must display themselves (whether in a bikini or burqa) in certain ways to be taken as sexual? I remain confused as ever about some things and wonder if it will ever change. I went back and listened to that Dar Williams song, When I was a Boy, and it resonated bone deep with me. I was a tomboy and still feel that way despite enjoying personal femininity as well as having a strong hankering for men.

I enjoy androgyny, too, and recently had a vivid bolt of lust while watching, "Itty Bitty Titty Committee." It's a really, dare I say it?, cute movie about queer and transgendered folk who are trying to act up against rigid, frigid, anti-feminist society. All the actors were great, as was the story, but this was the first real thing I've seen Daniela Sea in.

I read a little about her back when The L Word was running and was still unprepared for the reaction I had to her character. Woof! And what was weirdest of all, was the feeling that I was reacting to her like she was a male, despite her feminine body and non-masculine face. Usually when I'm attracted to a woman it's in a more subdued, cerebral way. Not the intense rush of all hormones on alert as when a male is the desired one.

So, here's a fat woman who's somewhat tomguyish (and why Tom? why not Matt or some other short boy name? lol) and mainly attracted to somewhat pretty, masculine men having a lusty moment over a tomguyish, or should I say butch?, woman. Anywho, I've been mulling this over for about a week and still can't work out whether I'm responding/succumbing to societal pressure in thinking Daniela was a boy because she looked that certain way or because she's just that exciting. I realize it ultimately shouldn't matter, that it's the person inside that's important, not the wrappings on the package. I just don't like not understanding, sometimes.
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Old 09-19-2010, 02:52 PM   #28
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I think the airbrushed magazine cover image is what too many people base femininity on. Either we're all showing cleave (boob and ass) and proudly displaying anorexic thin figures covered with stud/hoop earrings, flashy purses/clutches and long beautiful hair or we MUST be men.

I never understood why no one admits when (and if) they are physically attracted to modesty. Plenty of people will say they are, but when it comes to hitting on women and being attracted to them, well, it's a lie. If a guy can't picture himself in bed with a chick, he's not going to talk to her. So naturally women have to flaunt everything they want to see as obviously as possible. That pressure might be some of the reason women dress so scantily--to be attractive. And it's hard to feel attractive when no one takes notice.

Doesn't say much for either gender, really. It also makes outcasts out of people who are not gender confined.
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