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Old 09-12-2010, 06:08 PM   #1
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I don't know how well people will receive this or what moderators will think of this, so please tell me if there are any issues with this thread(I'm not trying to be a pot stirrer). So here goes.

I had an open dialog like this with all my friends and relatives when I came out and always thought it was a neat way of answering questions that people feel awkward or imposing to ask. I also was able to see a little of what could be called "the other side," or what other people are thinking or curious about. I am able to offer opinions on trans questions, but hope others are open to sharing their knowledge and experiences.

Ask whatever you want. Really. Give it a try...
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Old 09-13-2010, 04:30 AM   #2
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I shall endeavor to answer as well, if you'd like. Another perspective and all that I like to provide edumaction to people who want to learn.
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Old 09-13-2010, 06:23 AM   #3
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Not to be stupid, but I really don't know either of you and my question would be only asked if you are post surgery? so are either of you post surgery?
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Old 09-13-2010, 07:15 PM   #4
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Not to be stupid, but I really don't know either of you and my question would be only asked if you are post surgery? so are either of you post surgery?
No, but that's because my new employer that I start with in January will pay for some of it.
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Old 09-13-2010, 09:58 PM   #5
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I'm here too if there are Q's
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Old 09-13-2010, 10:00 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by isamarie69 View Post
Not to be stupid, but I really don't know either of you and my question would be only asked if you are post surgery? so are either of you post surgery?
*pulls up skirt*

*pulls down panties and looks*

Nuh uhs.

I'm actually not legally allowed to do that yet as I'm not yet a year full time. I'm hoping my employer's insurance will cover it though, if so I plan on staying there a while
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Old 09-13-2010, 10:27 PM   #7
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This can be individually answered, but...

What's the coolest part of the process? And what's the no-so-coolest part of the process?
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Old 09-13-2010, 10:29 PM   #8
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This can be individually answered, but...

What's the coolest part of the process? And what's the no-so-coolest part of the process?
Coolest part... hm. I'm tempted to say 'growing boobs' but really the coolest part is finally feeling comfortable in my own skin.

Not-so-coolest part... crying constantly. u_u
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Old 09-13-2010, 10:29 PM   #9
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When you began transition, did you have anyone close to you who took it badly and who took it the best?
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Old 09-13-2010, 10:31 PM   #10
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When you began transition, did you have anyone close to you who took it badly and who took it the best?
Nobody I'm friends with or anyone in my family (so far... not everyone knows yet) has taken it badly. The person who took it best was my mom, though she keeps slipping with pronouns and names. My roommate/best friend took it extremely well and has actually helped me to move forward a lot, as did my dad. I knew he was taking it well the last day I saw him before he left... he told me that I was cute and pretty.
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Old 09-13-2010, 10:42 PM   #11
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I saw a documentary on two transgenders who were born men, then had gender reassignment surgery, then had it again to return to their original gender. Both times, for both of them, they said they felt it was the right thing to do at the time. Whenever we make any life-changing decision we always wonder if we're doing the right thing. What are your thoughts on the possibility, however remote that you may not be happy with the outcome?
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Old 09-13-2010, 10:44 PM   #12
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I saw a documentary on two transgenders who were born men, then had gender reassignment surgery, then had it again to return to their original gender. Both times, for both of them, they said they felt it was the right thing to do at the time. Whenever we make any life-changing decision we always wonder if we're doing the right thing. What are your thoughts on the possibility, however remote that you may not be happy with the outcome?
That's why I delayed for ten years before starting transition.

I don't know if it'll always be the right thing for me. But at this time, it is. This is the first time I've been happy with myself in fifteen years and I constantly regret not starting sooner.

(btw, that'd be 'transgendered women,' or 'transgendered people', not 'transgenders')
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Old 09-13-2010, 10:45 PM   #13
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Nobody I'm friends with or anyone in my family (so far... not everyone knows yet) has taken it badly. The person who took it best was my mom, though she keeps slipping with pronouns and names. My roommate/best friend took it extremely well and has actually helped me to move forward a lot, as did my dad. I knew he was taking it well the last day I saw him before he left... he told me that I was cute and pretty.
I *almost* took it badly, because Alicia went and changed her name on Facebook and I didn't recognize the name...so I almost booted her ass off my friend-list. I was like, who the hell is this? Was I adding people in my sleep? And then I saw her and I was like--all right cool; I recognize that face. It wasn't the transition I reacted badly to, just that I suddenly had a new friend and I was confused. I'd have felt like such sh!t if I'd taken her off of my friend-list and then realized who she was....der.
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Old 09-13-2010, 10:46 PM   #14
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That's why I delayed for ten years before starting transition.

I don't know if it'll always be the right thing for me. But at this time, it is. This is the first time I've been happy with myself in fifteen years and I constantly regret not starting sooner.

(btw, that'd be 'transgendered women,' or 'transgendered people', not 'transgenders')
Sorry..that's how they referenced themselves. Good to know.
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Old 09-14-2010, 09:28 AM   #15
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IMO Alicia is doing it the proper way and I agree with her 100%.
Its a HUGE decision and the pressure to explain it all is daunting.
Some friends will say NP and some just go to pieces and never talk to you again.
I don't regret it one bit I would rather be happy in my world.
My parents took it well my older brother not so well but he came around in time.
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Old 09-14-2010, 09:35 AM   #16
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Did how well you thought you'd 'pass' as a woman, or how you'd look as a woman, play any roll in your decision to transition? Or was it so much more of a 'need to do it' that those factors would just be what they would be and you didn't consider them as important?
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Old 09-14-2010, 09:40 AM   #17
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Did how well you thought you'd 'pass' as a woman, or how you'd look as a woman, play any roll in your decision to transition? Or was it so much more of a 'need to do it' that those factors would just be what they would be and you didn't consider them as important?
Passing is very important to me... but it was based purely on need. If I'd gone by what I thought my chances of passing were, I never would have started. I'm honestly rather amazed I pass as much as I do...
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Old 09-14-2010, 09:42 AM   #18
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Passing is an important factor sure but not the main reason.I did OK passing before.Not the best just OK.
You will always have a few male features that will not just go away shoulders, jaw line that kind of thing.
Doing what feels right for you is the main thing.
Alicia you pass very well right now and in the end you are going to be gorgeous I just have that feeling!!

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Old 09-14-2010, 11:17 AM   #19
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Alicia, you really do pass very well. If I walked past you on the street it wouldn't even cross my mind, plus you have GORGEOUS legs.
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Old 09-14-2010, 03:49 PM   #20
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the coolest part is finally feeling comfortable in my own skin.

Not-so-coolest part... crying constantly. u_u
Yup, I can second this hehe, or me the best part is, well, its like this.. it feels like the whole world has opened up to me, finally I'm a real person not constantly living life as what I feel I should be for other people, and for the first time in my life seeing a future for myself and being able to dream and finally relax.

It really is an exhilarating time, especially after so long being in as deep a denial as I was, its like the film of the wizard of oz... once you accept it the world that was once black and white dead ended is now full of color and magic, and you can actually live, as yourself.

I could write volumes about this I really could hehe, and yeah... the constant crying too ; _ ;

So yeah, I could also offer my experiences to this thread if it is wanted ^^;
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Old 09-14-2010, 04:10 PM   #21
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Did how well you thought you'd 'pass' as a woman, or how you'd look as a woman, play any roll in your decision to transition? Or was it so much more of a 'need to do it' that those factors would just be what they would be and you didn't consider them as important?
It absolutely did, My thoughts were that id never live life as a normal woman because if never have a woman's body, now I don't mean that as in the term passing, what I mean is... I felt that even if I transitioned and had surgery and took hormones I felt that I would still be a woman trapped in a mans shell, and that tormented me more then say what other people thought of how I looked. Just the fact that this is wrong, I thought that maybe it wasn't worth it, that I wasn't worth it, this is where suicidal thoughts come in, I used to think that maybe I could scrape together a 'ok' life living as a man... but in truth I could never ever see myself growing up and old as a male, because I'm not male, it would have just been an act I couldn't pull off

Which brings me to now... now I know that I simply am a woman and that's how I need to live my life, regardless of my body, witch, though I will never 'pass' as they say, screw it, who cares if I don't pass, as because if you take enough time to study me you will also see i'm a very happy goofy silly life loving person, by witch point I hope that's the thing they remember

I am never going to pass and when people look at me they might not see a woman, but they definitely arnt going to see a man... and if they see a trans woman then good, because I'm proud of who I am, just took a little time to realise that
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Old 09-14-2010, 07:08 PM   #22
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Some folks are more interested in being openly trans, and that is the end goal. Just thought I'd throw that out there so that folks know that for some people, the goal is to be trans, and not to 'pass,' as that is the gender identity that feels truest for them.
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Old 09-14-2010, 09:00 PM   #23
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This can be individually answered, but...

What's the coolest part of the process? And what's the no-so-coolest part of the process?
Honestly, I felt the best part was/is gradually repressing less and less. The exploring who I am and what I can be really was/is awesome. You know the feeling you get when you can and do let your guard down with someone? It's something like that. I also have felt happier and less concerned with myself over time.

The not so cool? I feel that exploration is a little like a double edged sword. OMG are there so many awkward stages & moments. It's like going through puberty again in a condensed time frame with less guidance and more criticism for mistakes. I also lost some people in my life, but I honestly feel very little about that because I can't respect someone who blatantly hates me.

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When you began transition, did you have anyone close to you who took it badly and who took it the best?
Both my mom and dad's families took it harshly. My mom hates her family anyway and my dad has turned out to not care what they think. My mom and I have related with each other pretty well because she gets the being treated as second class; she was adopted, reminded of that constantly and whenever affection or money was disbursed she always got the least. So the bad came with a little good in the bond I feel my mom and I have.

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I saw a documentary on two transgenders who were born men, then had gender reassignment surgery, then had it again to return to their original gender. Both times, for both of them, they said they felt it was the right thing to do at the time. Whenever we make any life-changing decision we always wonder if we're doing the right thing. What are your thoughts on the possibility, however remote that you may not be happy with the outcome?
Really, there is always a chance someone is wrong with a course of action. I've never had any doubt, but honestly I don't have a contingency plan if I were wrong or even have I thought much about if I'm wrong.

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Old 09-14-2010, 09:21 PM   #24
Leishycat
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Originally Posted by Tanuki Kimberly View Post
I am never going to pass and when people look at me they might not see a woman, but they definitely arnt going to see a man... and if they see a trans woman then good, because I'm proud of who I am, just took a little time to realise that
o_o waht.

What do you mean you're not going to pass! You're pretty! You look more like a woman than I do and I pass! RAAAARRRGH!!!!! *explodes*
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Old 09-14-2010, 09:23 PM   #25
sowhat
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Originally Posted by Tad View Post
Did how well you thought you'd 'pass' as a woman, or how you'd look as a woman, play any roll in your decision to transition? Or was it so much more of a 'need to do it' that those factors would just be what they would be and you didn't consider them as important?
Yes and Yes. I would've transitioned either way, but in all honesty I had an attitude early on that if I didn't pass and couldn't fix it, I could just end things. Passability greatly influences how well you can integrate into society, how likely you are to face discrimination, how much money you make and whether or not you find a compatible person interested in you. I really don't like thinking about what I would've done if I weren't passable.

I honestly feel much better now having transitioned. I am looking forward to when I start my new job and am stealth.

Last edited by sowhat; 09-14-2010 at 09:29 PM.
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