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Old 02-10-2011, 09:23 PM   #26
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I met the guy I'm casually seeing when out shopping. He came up to me outside the store and said that he hoped I didn't think he was rude, but he'd really like my number. He added that he thought I was beautiful and had curves in all the right places, and that he'd like me to call him.

I was taken by surprise, because I wasn't expecting anything like that to happen, but he was cute so I gave him my number. Just ask her. She might say no, but she might say yes.
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Old 02-10-2011, 09:28 PM   #27
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I met the guy I'm casually seeing when out shopping. He came up to me outside the store and said that he hoped I didn't think he was rude, but he'd really like my number. He added that he thought I was beautiful and had curves in all the right places, and that he'd like me to call him.

I was taken by surprise, because I wasn't expecting anything like that to happen, but he was cute so I gave him my number. Just ask her. She might say no, but she might say yes.
Wow...that is pretty good.

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To the O.P., I have a site that I can recommend to you that may prove helpful in your future attempts. It's called "Citizen Renegade," and the author extensively discusses the male/female dynamic in a way that is completely objective and free of any illusions or rose-coloured glasses. He particularly explains how the male "white knight" instinct is, paradoxically, a turn-off to many women, compared to other factors and behaviours that women actually do find attractive.

http://roissy.wordpress.com/

Much of what he says may seem counter-intuitive, but when one frankly considers the "real world," one has to acknowledge that he is pretty much correct.

Well I ironically found this post http://roissy.wordpress.com/2011/01/...say-something/. Thanks to kiowen for the original link, since I feel this is answering a lot of thoughts.
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Old 02-11-2011, 07:53 AM   #28
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I myself am just starting my first week of college, I am taking a 4 year Computer and Communications Networking course at Centennial College.

Even though it has been the first 2 days, I had somewhat put it in the back of my mind that I would try and get someone during these 4 years, since there wasn't anyone who really interested me in HS, nor did I want the haggling by people I had become friends with, and I had gone through a silly rejection but with a thin chick, who I can now say wasn't really my type.

Point is, being a Computer related course, there isn't anyone I can really see that I am interested in, and even so they are mostly the shy type in my class, and have a lot of language barrier between them, not to discriminate against diversity.

I myself have been looking around and have noticed, there are a lot more hot looking girls in the hallways as I walk through. But hey lucky me, I don't know them, and probably will not cross paths.


Not that I have yet the courage to go up and just say "Hey your really sexy to me, and I am not making fun of you because, I like fat chicks", and yes I have read where this could cause a lot of social and mental anguish if you aren't careful. But I can easily get into conversations with random people, it is just something about me and my mom that causes people to come up and talk to us.


The question and discussion is really about, have you ever gone up to someone random that you really thought was interesting/hot and just started talking to them, what was the outcome, did you ever try again with that same person or with some other random person.


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Just be your self and smile say hi and let it go see that same gal again and she smiles at you ask her how her classes are going . She will bring it to you if she is interested when she does treat her to more smiles and act interested in the topic and then ask her to join you in the cafe or the student lobby or library a kinda non date place to study or just hang out ! go slow and be patient!
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Old 02-11-2011, 11:27 AM   #29
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BUMP!

I see a lot of hot women on public transit, when I make my college commute. Some of these women I see regularly. Now is there anyway if I were to see a lady during my commute regularly to ask whether she is taken or not, or do I just ask for her digits? I know I could ask for the time, or say "I see you regularly on the subway." But I just saw this girl on the subway today and also a few days ago, a bit older then me, and I so wanted to start a convo with her, but I had no acquaintance with this person before.

It is just something I am wondering about, since the risk really would outweigh everything if it were to go wrong.
1) What is the risk, really? that she gives you an odd look and isn't interested? It would hurt your ego, but it wouldn't be that big of a disaster.

2) There are a ton of approaches. Here is one that might work for you, because you don't take much risk at any one time: Build an acquaintance.
- Next time you see her, meet her eye and give her a quick smile....then move on or look away.
- The time after that catch her eye if you can, smile, see if she smiles back, maybe give her a quick nod or wink to show you noticed her smile.
- Time after that, if you can pass near her, say 'good morning!' and keep doing that.
- Soon it should be normal enough to comment on the weather outside, or the crowd, or whatever.

By that point you should be able to tell if she is interested or not (and if she is attached, odds are good that fairly early on she'll manage to mention "I know, the rain is terrible, my boyfriend got soaked on the way home last night." or something like that).

Of course, after the first smile she may look away and never meet your eye in the future, or she may be fine at exchanging smiles but make it clear she isn't interested in talking, or whatever. But by taking small steps you give lots of chances to exchange signals. Of course, you also take a long time to get to know her, so not so good if you are in a rush, but since you have to go to class all of the time anyway, why not put that time to good use, and work on your flirting skills a bit?
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Old 02-11-2011, 05:15 PM   #30
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What Tad said - except DON'T wink.

Trust me.
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Old 02-15-2011, 10:41 AM   #31
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What Tad said - except DON'T wink.

Trust me.
Some of us like winking... My ex had a way of doing it... But don't do it unless it's something that you normally do.

Anyway, if you're nervous about talking to a woman, you could always start by noticing a book or magazine she's reading, or is carrying. Ask her opinion about it, or share your opinion, if you have one. Or perhaps an interesting article of clothing or jewelry she has on.These serve as interesting topics of conversation, and take the immediate burden off of you...
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Old 02-15-2011, 05:49 PM   #32
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Some of us like winking... My ex had a way of doing it... But don't do it unless it's something that you normally do.

Anyway, if you're nervous about talking to a woman, you could always start by noticing a book or magazine she's reading, or is carrying. Ask her opinion about it, or share your opinion, if you have one. Or perhaps an interesting article of clothing or jewelry she has on.These serve as interesting topics of conversation, and take the immediate burden off of you...
Starting a conversation 101. Great place to start.
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Old 02-16-2011, 06:53 AM   #33
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This thread is making me miss talking to guys... I do it most days in the Internet around here, but I haven't done it in public with a real person in months. I keep hoping that the next time I go out to a pub or club, a blatant FA will start chatting to me and not be shy. I know it's probably a daunting task to assess whether or not a girl knows what an FA is and if she'll be offended... but someone read my mind, please.
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Old 02-16-2011, 03:22 PM   #34
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This thread is making me miss talking to guys... I do it most days in the Internet around here, but I haven't done it in public with a real person in months. I keep hoping that the next time I go out to a pub or club, a blatant FA will start chatting to me and not be shy. I know it's probably a daunting task to assess whether or not a girl knows what an FA is and if she'll be offended... but someone read my mind, please.
What are the chances of that pub or club being in Edinburgh lol? There seems to be a lack of bbws at most clubs I've gone to here. Just saying.

On what you said about it being daunting trying to assess whether or not a girl knows what and FA is is all too true. My ex didn't know I was an FA when we started dating. When I told her, she seemed somewhat confused about the whole concept.

Still... no harm in giving it a shot at walking up to a girl at a club, pub, girl you've seen on the bus etc
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Old 02-16-2011, 05:48 PM   #35
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What are the chances of that pub or club being in Edinburgh lol? There seems to be a lack of bbws at most clubs I've gone to here. Just saying.

On what you said about it being daunting trying to assess whether or not a girl knows what and FA is is all too true. My ex didn't know I was an FA when we started dating. When I told her, she seemed somewhat confused about the whole concept.

Still... no harm in giving it a shot at walking up to a girl at a club, pub, girl you've seen on the bus etc

Heh, you should come down to the Midlands in my town - there's loads of big girls here, especially in the pubs and clubs. All ages too (helps that it's a university town). Are you sure there aren't any BBWs in Edinburgh though, or are they just not your type?
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Old 03-25-2011, 07:38 AM   #36
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As someone who used to be completely incapable of talking to women I understand where you're coming from. College can be quite overwhelming at first and we have a tendency to try to put the cart before the horse. I think your best bet is to find clubs and activities that you enjoy first. Once you do that you are bound to find people with similar interests whether male or female. I think this is really the key to finding someone to have a relationship with, once you are more comfortable in your surroundings you become more confident so that when you do see a girl that interests you it wont be such a big deal to talk to her.
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Old 03-25-2011, 08:20 PM   #37
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As someone who used to be completely incapable of talking to women I understand where you're coming from. College can be quite overwhelming at first and we have a tendency to try to put the cart before the horse. I think your best bet is to find clubs and activities that you enjoy first. Once you do that you are bound to find people with similar interests whether male or female. I think this is really the key to finding someone to have a relationship with, once you are more comfortable in your surroundings you become more confident so that when you do see a girl that interests you it wont be such a big deal to talk to her.
For sho...i can feel that.

Dude even though I am considered a cracka(white dude) by some, I like your signature LordQuas. Jeru is the best. He makes all those fools that do sometimes talk about there girls too much go away.

"They always give me trouble
mainly Hatred, Jealousy and Envy they attack me"

Yeah I do sometimes feel that.


Not getting off topic, just something I noticed.
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Old 03-26-2011, 02:30 AM   #38
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Honestly, go up to her and tell her how you feel...

Is it scary...yes !! But you aren't going to know elsewise until you do...

I at least appreciate the candid approach...too many times men just stare at me while in the store...and all the while I am thinking "just hit on me / talk to me already !!" =)
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Old 03-26-2011, 04:26 PM   #39
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The question and discussion is really about, have you ever gone up to someone random that you really thought was interesting/hot and just started talking to them, what was the outcome, did you ever try again with that same person or with some other random person.


Thanks
Ken
I'm not really sure how going up to somebody you find attractive would necessarily be creepy. I first met my fiancee at the school bar due to her sitting with her friends one of which I shared a class with. So a friend and I went over and talked for a couple hours over drinks. After that I didn't see her for a couple of years until facebook became popular and I messaged her which led to a relationship.
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Old 03-27-2011, 01:45 AM   #40
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I admire any FA who gets up the courage to ask out a BBW. I wish I would have one come up and start just a simple general conversation about anything and then lead into "Hey maybe we could go and get a cup of coffee and chat a little longer"...that would be a perfect way to lead into just more conversation and maybe a date.
I keep thinking back to my 10 year high school reunion. This guy who I thought was cute but never thought he would be an FA walked up to me at the reunion and tells me how he had a crush on me and would almost get the courage up to ask me out but then never could ask me. He even used to call my up at home and hang up (before caller ID...LOL). The whole time I am thinking oh wow oh wow he is going to finally ask me out....NOPE he introduces me to his fiance who is a BBW. Talk about heart breaking...UGHHH! I just smiled, left and when home and cried. I try very hard not to slam an FA even the ones who jump right in and go way overboard with the "I like fat chicks line" Although back in college that would really be creepy...now days in my mid 40's I'd take a guy even if he was wearing a "I LOVE FAT CHICKS TSHIRT" or had it on a bumpersticker....LOL
Good Luck and Relax we are only women. Risks not taken = Regrets
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Old 03-27-2011, 10:54 AM   #41
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I'm not really sure how going up to somebody you find attractive would necessarily be creepy.
It isn't creepy if you knew the person through association, but in public just going up to someone, it is just the randomness of the occurrence.

Last week I was on the subway I wanted to go and talk to someone who I finded attractive sitting across from me, but I didn't I just took out my text book read it, glanced up for a second about twice during the ride, and no real reaction.
Funny thing was, was that morning some guy who I never met, was probably off Bay St. (financial district), was on the subway with me in the morning, and commented on my text book, we got into a great conversation about C++ and Java and Networking, and Circuit Breakers (financial operations).

I should have commented on the lady sitting across from me, about her Blackberry but I didn't. I need to just commit and go through with it once in a while, so then I get more comfortable about myself.

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Old 03-28-2011, 02:20 PM   #42
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Oh wait, you are in Toronto? I'd missed that.....yah, people are less apt to talk to strangers up on this side of the border, I find. Tends to kind of freak me out down in the US, how many people will just randomly start talking to you.

yah, I feel for you, I remember a lot of frustrating bus rides stealing glances at someone, trying to figure out how I could ever come up with a reason to talk with them.
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Old 03-28-2011, 02:47 PM   #43
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Sometimes it helps to have a prop. I used an ice cream cone to meet my ex-wife. It was June in Cambridge, MA, and this incredibly beautiful hispanic BBW walked right past me ... and entered an ice-cream store. I followed and discovered that she was sitting at a table by herself. So I bought a cone and proceeded to look all around as if I were trying to find a vacant table, hoping she hadn't noticed that half the tables were empty. Apparently she hadn't, because when I asked if it was okay for me to sit at her table, she said yes. I forget what I said next, but we did get into conversation, and I asked her out to dinner for the next night.* A year later we were married at Our Lady of Lourdes Church in East Los Angeles.


*Some weeks later, she told me she tried to look me up in the phone book that afternoon and could not find me (she spelled my name wrong). This convinced her that I was a serial killer, and she left instructions with another girl in her dormitory to call the police if she wasn't home by midnight. But she went out with me anyway! Moral: it may be creepy, but it works!
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Old 03-29-2011, 09:15 AM   #44
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I guess it really depends on the person and location. Strangers talking to strangers where I am from seems to be pretty normal. I would also say what you start talking about certainly would determine if the individual being approached would feel if you are being creepy or not.
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Old 04-02-2011, 12:04 PM   #45
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It's not rocket science, man. It's called "flirting."

Make fun conversation with her. It doesn't even matter about what, as long as you keep it fun, light, and normal-people-sounding. Flirting is a way of seeing if the other person is interested, advertising that you're interested and interesting--all without explicitly saying it.

And here's the thing: girls who are with someone, when approached like this, will usually mention their significant other casually in order to be fair to you. If this happens, keep making conversation for a while until the conversation naturally ends. Next time you see her on the bus, there is no "disaster" you just kindly wave hello and remain friends.

If you dig each other, get to know each other first. If you're flirting with her, she'll probably get the hint that you find her attractive on the outside. The next step is to build a relationship on the inside, and then you can [sensitively] things that are [potentially sensitive] such as her body in relation to what you like. In general, its best not to overthink it. Just be fun, honest and thoughtful and see where it goes.

I know you're a little new to relationships, but this is what you'll find out: her appearance may be what initially attracts you to her, but its everything else that will keep you there. Plan on investing in that.

The moral of the story is that just because you're an FA, it doesn't mean you have to approach the opposite sex a whole lot differently. Fat women are women, not a separate species. Think about how women would want to be treated, and then treat them that way.

Hopefully my old man advice is helpful!
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Old 04-06-2011, 07:25 PM   #46
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OK, not a BBW, but still of the female persuasion here...

The best thing to do is, say hi. Start a conversation. Comment about something funny the prof does, or how last night's homework was a killer. I've always found that the best relationships I've had really did start out as long friendships.
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Old 04-07-2011, 05:19 PM   #47
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OK, not a BBW, but still of the female persuasion here...

The best thing to do is, say hi. Start a conversation. Comment about something funny the prof does, or how last night's homework was a killer. I've always found that the best relationships I've had really did start out as long friendships.
Sorry, and not to be rude, but I am currently in a program with basically no girls being in my classes that actually interest me, and not very many in general.

The hallways and riding on the subway is different, I come across so many women who I am interested in. But I am thinking more about just say "Hi, what are you taking?"
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Old 04-07-2011, 10:05 PM   #48
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I'm not a particularly outgoing person, but I love flirting. I still remember the night I learned exactly how I flirt (I'm not conventional about it) - I was hanging with a friend at a coffee shop, and he knew the barista who was serving at the moment. So we were both talking with her and some of the other regulars (it wasn't crowded), and a friend of hers came in to get out of the house. She started talking with us, five hours later when the place closed for the night a bunch of us went to a local diner and she joined. Hour after that, we gave her a ride home (for reasons I never quite understood, my friend drove my car for this trip). She gets out of the car, we wait for her to get inside her house, and then my friend informs me I was flirting "hard core" with her the entire time. I was clueless = P

Overcome the lack of women in your classes obstacle by trying to get on good terms with some of the guys in your classes who you see talking with female friends in the halls. You may wind up catching an easy hook simply by association with your peers. If you're sitting in a study room/area and you overhear a conversation you can contribute to, do so. If a girl happens to give you game playing tips again, tell her your chat handle/account name and see if you can get hers. Keep tabs on what people around you are saying and always look for a way to (politely) insert yourself into the conversation.

Most importantly, be normal, be yourself, have fun. You never know what topics someone will find interesting just by looking at them (I am, as yet, regularly surprised by people who seem to fit very selective "persona" molds when viewed from a distance). Hopefully, you won't have my luck and wind up befriending lesbians instead of straight women = P
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Old 04-08-2011, 01:29 PM   #49
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I am currently in a program with basically no girls being in my classes that actually interest me, and not very many in general.
Been there. I strongly recommend that you look at two things:

1) If you get some non-program based electives next year, try to choose ones that you find interesting but which also have a fighting chance of having a good number of women in them.

2) Join clubs, activities & co-ed sports. Obviously clubs with higher number of women give more women to meet, but it has to be something that you want to do--when you enjoy something it is apparent, and is probably the best way to end up talking with someone. Most schools have a huge array of activities, so look around. (and be willing to take a chance on something you aren't sure about, you can always stop going if you end up not liking it).

Neither is a guarantee of meeting women, nor only about finding someone to date. But it gets you around them more, if nothing else, and interacting with them. That should lead you to be more at home with them, more in touch with how they approach things, etc, and give you an opportunity to flirt lightly when you are ready for it.

Good luck!
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Old 04-09-2011, 08:06 AM   #50
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2) Join clubs, activities & co-ed sports.

Good luck!
Hey there are really no clubs at my college, I think the application process for making clubs scares people away. If there were clubs I would be in them.
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