Dimensions Forums  
Home Register Premium Membership Health Issues Market Place Big Fashion

Go Back   Dimensions Forums > Discussion > BBW Forum



Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 10-08-2010, 02:07 AM   #1
isamarie69
Live and let die!!!
 
isamarie69's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,117
isamarie69 never has a post go unnoticedisamarie69 never has a post go unnoticedisamarie69 never has a post go unnoticedisamarie69 never has a post go unnoticedisamarie69 never has a post go unnoticedisamarie69 never has a post go unnoticedisamarie69 never has a post go unnoticedisamarie69 never has a post go unnoticed
Default throwing in the towel!

So im out at this club, its a great club called Rocket! But honestly its the 1st time o felt my age, and really my age has nothing to do with what im feeling, its my weight. I realize its too late for me. Im here with my friend who has been 41 for 6 months and tonight she made out with a 21yr old, a 27yr old and was here to meet up with a 29yr old, lol i danced a bit to some cool 80s songs but mostly stood by and whatched my life pass by. I came to dimensions for a little confidence and everyone has been very nice and supportive, but the truth is unless i loose 180lbs im going to be alone for the rest of my life, im still gonna go out and have fun with friends, but as for finding a nice fella thats truly interest im giving up and enjoying being an old maid.
__________________
Sir Paulys gurl
isamarie69 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-2010, 02:21 AM   #2
Emma
On Timeout
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,865
Emma keeps pushing the rep limit!Emma keeps pushing the rep limit!Emma keeps pushing the rep limit!Emma keeps pushing the rep limit!Emma keeps pushing the rep limit!Emma keeps pushing the rep limit!Emma keeps pushing the rep limit!Emma keeps pushing the rep limit!Emma keeps pushing the rep limit!Emma keeps pushing the rep limit!Emma keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Seriously? I think you'll find a lot of us here have partners (some hot ones at that) whilst still fat. lol If thats how you feel then lose weight, what is stopping you?
Emma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-2010, 04:06 AM   #3
isamarie69
Live and let die!!!
 
isamarie69's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,117
isamarie69 never has a post go unnoticedisamarie69 never has a post go unnoticedisamarie69 never has a post go unnoticedisamarie69 never has a post go unnoticedisamarie69 never has a post go unnoticedisamarie69 never has a post go unnoticedisamarie69 never has a post go unnoticedisamarie69 never has a post go unnoticed
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by CurvyEm View Post
Seriously? I think you'll find a lot of us here have partners (some hot ones at that) whilst still fat. lol If thats how you feel then lose weight, what is stopping you?
Em, I did not mean it disrespectfully against anyone here, just how i'm honestly feeling in my personal situation. Please don't take it like im knocking the whole community, because I do feel everyone here has been very supportive.
__________________
Sir Paulys gurl
isamarie69 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-2010, 04:14 AM   #4
AmazingAmy
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,691
AmazingAmy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!AmazingAmy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!AmazingAmy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!AmazingAmy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!AmazingAmy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!AmazingAmy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!AmazingAmy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!AmazingAmy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!AmazingAmy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!AmazingAmy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!AmazingAmy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Aw, don't feel like that; there are a lot of women your age (and younger, cough) in your situation - and some of them are skinny, beautiful, talented, and all the rest. Your weight isn't the issue here, so don't let it get you down, woman. I can understand you wanting to loose that 180 for yourself, but don't get into the frame of mind where you believe that it's holding men back from you! I think we've all been on a night out in a club and had to stand aside while watching our friends live it up and get the fun and attention that seems to have been totally denied us; it makes you look at yourself and think the fault lies with you. Well it doesn't. It's time, place, circumstance. I know I'm young and probably sound like I haven't had years and years to get bitter, but I spent my teens adamant that I should never hope to be with anyone, I was so certain my weight was the reason for my isolation. Really, it was my unwavering negativity, and it took my a long time to realise that it's such destructive place to be in your head, one that shouldn't rule anyone.

In any case, I feel for you, and there are a ton of like-minded people here. If you can't find the one, always know there are a ton of friends waiting to keep you busy!
AmazingAmy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-2010, 05:02 AM   #5
isamarie69
Live and let die!!!
 
isamarie69's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,117
isamarie69 never has a post go unnoticedisamarie69 never has a post go unnoticedisamarie69 never has a post go unnoticedisamarie69 never has a post go unnoticedisamarie69 never has a post go unnoticedisamarie69 never has a post go unnoticedisamarie69 never has a post go unnoticedisamarie69 never has a post go unnoticed
Default

Thanks Amy, I think I was just having a weak moment and really should have let it pass before posting hear ( lol another weak moment, thanks to blackberry) I'm really not a whiney negative person. I'm always doing my best to stay up beat. And fortunetely I get over things very quickly, then feel silly after exspressing my weak moments.
__________________
Sir Paulys gurl
isamarie69 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-2010, 05:41 AM   #6
spiritangel
AmandaClause
 
spiritangel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Santa's Workshop, sending out the Happy Mail
Posts: 9,417
spiritangel keeps pushing the rep limit!spiritangel keeps pushing the rep limit!spiritangel keeps pushing the rep limit!spiritangel keeps pushing the rep limit!spiritangel keeps pushing the rep limit!spiritangel keeps pushing the rep limit!spiritangel keeps pushing the rep limit!spiritangel keeps pushing the rep limit!spiritangel keeps pushing the rep limit!spiritangel keeps pushing the rep limit!spiritangel keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Huggles you are stunning!!! and sexy as I do not understand why so many women on dimms are single, as sooo many amazing awesome women are here

take heart, you will meet someone but surrender it and do things you enjoy without the motive of making out with loads of guys ect

big squishy hugs
__________________
My YouTube Channel
spiritangel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-2010, 05:52 AM   #7
Inhibited
 
Inhibited's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,599
Inhibited makes people happy simply by logging inInhibited makes people happy simply by logging inInhibited makes people happy simply by logging inInhibited makes people happy simply by logging inInhibited makes people happy simply by logging inInhibited makes people happy simply by logging inInhibited makes people happy simply by logging inInhibited makes people happy simply by logging inInhibited makes people happy simply by logging in
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by AmazingAmy View Post
Aw, don't feel like that; there are a lot of women your age (and younger, cough) in your situation - and some of them are skinny, beautiful, talented, and all the rest. Your weight isn't the issue here, so don't let it get you down, woman. I can understand you wanting to loose that 180 for yourself, but don't get into the frame of mind where you believe that it's holding men back from you! I think we've all been on a night out in a club and had to stand aside while watching our friends live it up and get the fun and attention that seems to have been totally denied us; it makes you look at yourself and think the fault lies with you. Well it doesn't. It's time, place, circumstance. I know I'm young and probably sound like I haven't had years and years to get bitter, but I spent my teens adamant that I should never hope to be with anyone, I was so certain my weight was the reason for my isolation. Really, it was my unwavering negativity, and it took my a long time to realise that it's such destructive place to be in your head, one that shouldn't rule anyone.

In any case, I feel for you, and there are a ton of like-minded people here. If you can't find the one, always know there are a ton of friends waiting to keep you busy!
Amy this is really well said, heaps of ppl are in the same situation and i agree thats its probably not a weight issue at all, i honestly believe that most guys don't really care about weight as much as we think they do.
Inhibited is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-2010, 06:06 AM   #8
Inhibited
 
Inhibited's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,599
Inhibited makes people happy simply by logging inInhibited makes people happy simply by logging inInhibited makes people happy simply by logging inInhibited makes people happy simply by logging inInhibited makes people happy simply by logging inInhibited makes people happy simply by logging inInhibited makes people happy simply by logging inInhibited makes people happy simply by logging inInhibited makes people happy simply by logging in
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by isamarie69 View Post
Thanks Amy, I think I was just having a weak moment and really should have let it pass before posting hear ( lol another weak moment, thanks to blackberry) I'm really not a whiney negative person. I'm always doing my best to stay up beat. And fortunetely I get over things very quickly, then feel silly after exspressing my weak moments.
Think its great you posted, don't feel silly most of us have had weak moments am just one of the lucky ones who does not have a blackberry so can't express them on here in the moment...
Inhibited is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-2010, 06:36 AM   #9
Tau
IXAMXDECADENCE
 
Tau's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Johannesburg, South Africa
Posts: 1,308
Tau has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tau has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tau has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tau has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tau has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tau has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tau has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tau has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tau has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tau has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tau has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

My take: I do not believe in meeting men in clubs. I'm not saying its impossible - I know chicks who've hooked up with amazing guys in the club and had really great relationships - but as a rule I personally do not aim for meeting men when I'm out. Most of them are only after sex - and Isa you can totally dress to look like sex and you'll get plenty of hits. Most of them are also there with 'the boys' and a lot of young dudes don't have the balls to hit on girls their friends will make fun of, even when they want to. I honestly, absolutely believe that if what you want is something real then chica go out with your girls, dance up a storm and have a blast, but know that Mr Right will probably be found wandering the aisles at your supermarket or as part of that art class you just joined, or walking a dog in the park.

If, however, you really feel you want to shed the weight - go for it!! The reality, no matter what anybody says here, is that the pool of men attracted to fat women is a small one. It might be growing just because women all over the world seem to be getting fatter and more and more men are growing up surrounded by fat women and seeing those fat women as their future partners, as the norm essentially but at the moment its still a small one. Also, if you haven't tried them, go on speed dating evenings or join a matchmaking agency - there are some really decent ones in just SA so I can imagine that the US is absolutely crawling with them. You can join sex sites if you're looking for a hook up and believe me we fatties get plenty of attention through all of these avenues. You're a hot woman Isa, don't let life pass you by *hugz*
__________________
"Happiness isn't enough! I demand euphoria!"
http://fiercefotography.blogspot.com/
Tau is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-2010, 06:39 AM   #10
FatAndProud
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Georgia
Posts: 2,890
FatAndProud has ascended what used to be the highest level.FatAndProud has ascended what used to be the highest level.FatAndProud has ascended what used to be the highest level.FatAndProud has ascended what used to be the highest level.FatAndProud has ascended what used to be the highest level.FatAndProud has ascended what used to be the highest level.FatAndProud has ascended what used to be the highest level.FatAndProud has ascended what used to be the highest level.FatAndProud has ascended what used to be the highest level.FatAndProud has ascended what used to be the highest level.FatAndProud has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Also....is it really fun making out with several different guys in a night...only to return home alone...OR perhaps you do bag a hunk while at the club....will he be there the next morning?

I suppose if you're looking for shallow encounters, then by all means, become thin (not saying that thin people have shallow encounters; trying to change yourself to fit what these men want tends to attract shallow encounters). However, if you are searching for someone that loves you for you and all that you encompass, take what you have NOW and perfect it until nobody's business. BEING FAT IS NOT STOPPING YOU FROM FINDING SOMEONE - having feelings of doubt in your abilities to 'wow' someone is. Men love women that exude confidence. It's true

Last edited by FatAndProud; 10-08-2010 at 06:43 AM.
FatAndProud is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-2010, 10:45 AM   #11
AmazingAmy
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,691
AmazingAmy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!AmazingAmy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!AmazingAmy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!AmazingAmy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!AmazingAmy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!AmazingAmy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!AmazingAmy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!AmazingAmy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!AmazingAmy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!AmazingAmy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!AmazingAmy has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by isamarie69 View Post
Thanks Amy, I think I was just having a weak moment and really should have let it pass before posting hear ( lol another weak moment, thanks to blackberry) I'm really not a whiney negative person. I'm always doing my best to stay up beat. And fortunetely I get over things very quickly, then feel silly after exspressing my weak moments.


Ditto with what Inhibited said - don't feel silly. If we held back our feelings simply because they'll probably dissipate later is no reason to bottle up your frustration. We're all entitled to feel negative and to get it off out chest, and what better place than where lots of people know exactly how you feel? You can be up beat and still have a really bad day (they happen!), so no sweat.

And FatAndProud speaks the truth: confidence is far more attractive than any physical feature. The Elephant Man could pull so long as he had a swagger in his step.
AmazingAmy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-2010, 01:12 PM   #12
CastingPearls
Go Big Or Go Home
 
CastingPearls's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Possum Grape, AR
Posts: 15,178
CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by isamarie69 View Post
So im out at this club, its a great club called Rocket! But honestly its the 1st time o felt my age, and really my age has nothing to do with what im feeling, its my weight. I realize its too late for me. Im here with my friend who has been 41 for 6 months and tonight she made out with a 21yr old, a 27yr old and was here to meet up with a 29yr old, lol i danced a bit to some cool 80s songs but mostly stood by and whatched my life pass by. I came to dimensions for a little confidence and everyone has been very nice and supportive, but the truth is unless i loose 180lbs im going to be alone for the rest of my life, im still gonna go out and have fun with friends, but as for finding a nice fella thats truly interest im giving up and enjoying being an old maid.
Isa, I look at you and I see a stunning woman. I am not exaggerating to make you feel better. I'm speaking the truth. I read your posts and hear a thoughtful, intelligent and funny person. How are you not different from any other BBW here (and I'm an SSBBW) who has the same characteristics and is in a relationship?

I agree with some of the posts upthread which ask if what you want would be found in clubs and shallow encounters, which while not the exclusive enclave of the thinner younger crowd and is entirely your option..might not be the place for you to find a partner and meaningful relationship.

I know you're feeling bad and defeated right now, but don't give up. Just perhaps look elsewhere, try not to make comparisons and at all times, be you, do you and love you.
__________________
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]http://castingpearls-blowingbubbles.blogspot.com/

Free me, free yourself
A life of sacrifice controlled me
But those promises I made
No longer hold me
Mercurial more wayward by the hour
The shackles fall away I'm in your power



People throw rocks at things that shine.
CastingPearls is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-2010, 01:34 PM   #13
fat9276
 
fat9276's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 3,924
fat9276 has ascended what used to be the highest level.fat9276 has ascended what used to be the highest level.fat9276 has ascended what used to be the highest level.fat9276 has ascended what used to be the highest level.fat9276 has ascended what used to be the highest level.fat9276 has ascended what used to be the highest level.fat9276 has ascended what used to be the highest level.fat9276 has ascended what used to be the highest level.fat9276 has ascended what used to be the highest level.fat9276 has ascended what used to be the highest level.fat9276 has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by AmazingAmy View Post
Aw, don't feel like that; there are a lot of women your age (and younger, cough) in your situation - and some of them are skinny, beautiful, talented, and all the rest. Your weight isn't the issue here, so don't let it get you down, woman. I can understand you wanting to loose that 180 for yourself, but don't get into the frame of mind where you believe that it's holding men back from you! I think we've all been on a night out in a club and had to stand aside while watching our friends live it up and get the fun and attention that seems to have been totally denied us; it makes you look at yourself and think the fault lies with you. Well it doesn't. It's time, place, circumstance. I know I'm young and probably sound like I haven't had years and years to get bitter, but I spent my teens adamant that I should never hope to be with anyone, I was so certain my weight was the reason for my isolation. Really, it was my unwavering negativity, and it took my a long time to realise that it's such destructive place to be in your head, one that shouldn't rule anyone.

In any case, I feel for you, and there are a ton of like-minded people here. If you can't find the one, always know there are a ton of friends waiting to keep you busy!

this! very wise words from someone so young too
__________________
A cup of tea makes everything better.
fat9276 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-2010, 03:40 PM   #14
Dr. Feelgood
intellectual nerd
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: the Twilight Zone
Posts: 4,576
Dr. Feelgood has ascended what used to be the highest level.Dr. Feelgood has ascended what used to be the highest level.Dr. Feelgood has ascended what used to be the highest level.Dr. Feelgood has ascended what used to be the highest level.Dr. Feelgood has ascended what used to be the highest level.Dr. Feelgood has ascended what used to be the highest level.Dr. Feelgood has ascended what used to be the highest level.Dr. Feelgood has ascended what used to be the highest level.Dr. Feelgood has ascended what used to be the highest level.Dr. Feelgood has ascended what used to be the highest level.Dr. Feelgood has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by CastingPearls View Post
I read your posts and hear a thoughtful, intelligent and funny person.
She's right, of course, and this is the root of the problem. Thoughtful, intelligent people want to find other thoughtful, intelligent people, but there aren't very many of them around. OTOH, if you went gaga over thoughtless, unintelligent guys, you'd be spoiled for choice. It has nothing to do with your basic lovableness: pandas have the same problem, and what's more lovable than a panda (present company excepted, of course)?
__________________
Now all you women,
Don't you come around
Unless you weigh
'Bout fo' hundred pound...
-- Dr. Feelgood & the Interns
Dr. Feelgood is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-2010, 03:56 PM   #15
superodalisque
 
superodalisque's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: atlanta
Posts: 7,580
superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

if you really need some hot young boys to boost your ego try going to a bash. you can bring your gf and she can stand on the sidelines and hold your purse for a change just go and seek out your audience. it can boost your ego for when you go to more mixed venues so things might be easier for you after that.

i'm 48 and attract a lot of 20 somethings. its not really my thing but it happens. so its not over til its over young lady

i think thin women have a hard time as well and end up single a lot too. the difference is its just more acceptable in some quarters to openly use them for sex and basically throw them away. a quality guy thats a fit for you takes time for anyone to find.

incidentally i think you are gorgeous!
__________________
Ayn Rand: "An emotion that clashes with your reason, an emotion that you cannot explain or control, is only the carcass of that stale thinking which you forbade your mind to revise."
superodalisque is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-2010, 04:53 PM   #16
Brenda
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Milwaukee
Posts: 586
Brenda has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Brenda has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Brenda has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Brenda has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Brenda has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Brenda has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Brenda has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Brenda has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Brenda has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Brenda has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Brenda has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

If you are looking to make out with 20 year olds it probably would be a lot easier if you are thin. Unfortunately that is easier said then done. I am fat and 40 and just married a few years ago. You can definitely find someone to love at your weight,

Good luck!

Brenda
Brenda is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-2010, 05:13 AM   #17
isamarie69
Live and let die!!!
 
isamarie69's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,117
isamarie69 never has a post go unnoticedisamarie69 never has a post go unnoticedisamarie69 never has a post go unnoticedisamarie69 never has a post go unnoticedisamarie69 never has a post go unnoticedisamarie69 never has a post go unnoticedisamarie69 never has a post go unnoticedisamarie69 never has a post go unnoticed
Default

Thank you everyone for being supportive, I really did not mean to just let it all out like that. I do really think I was just kinda feeling sorry for my self.

Its not that i'm looking for one night stands or just hook ups, I think it was just I was sad that I did not even get the oppertunity to say no thanks.

My friend is a great girl and i feel bad making her sound bad too. It was really not her fault either, and i think shes just a bit more aggressive then I am.

All your kind words and suggestions really touched me, and made me realize how happy I am to have stumbled on to Dimensions, Let alone the friends i've made here.

LOL I dunno who I was fooling, I picked up my towel and am heading out dancing with my friends tonight.
__________________
Sir Paulys gurl
isamarie69 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-2010, 09:00 AM   #18
FreekiTiki
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 70
FreekiTiki can now change their title
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by AmazingAmy View Post

And FatAndProud speaks the truth: confidence is far more attractive than any physical feature.
Truer words have never been spoken, at least relating to how I feel about women. I like all kinds of women, I personally find a woman who is confident much sexier. Who wants tot be with someone who feels bad about themselves all the time, and has a very negative outlook on life? I know I don't want to. Isn't that part of what Dimensions is for, helping the women out there realize they are all beautiful, no matter what their size?
FreekiTiki is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-2010, 09:22 AM   #19
thirtiesgirl
frumious bandersnatch
 
thirtiesgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Loss Angeles
Posts: 1,461
thirtiesgirl makes people happy simply by logging inthirtiesgirl makes people happy simply by logging inthirtiesgirl makes people happy simply by logging inthirtiesgirl makes people happy simply by logging inthirtiesgirl makes people happy simply by logging inthirtiesgirl makes people happy simply by logging inthirtiesgirl makes people happy simply by logging inthirtiesgirl makes people happy simply by logging inthirtiesgirl makes people happy simply by logging inthirtiesgirl makes people happy simply by logging in
Default

I can so identify with your feelings, Isa, and I'm sorry to hear you had a bad night that really made you question yourself. I'm 41, too, and experiencing the same thing with men in this city. Because I've done a lot of work on myself in therapy and on my own, and have read a lot of feminist and fat acceptance literature and blogs, I've learned to stop blaming my fat and my life choices for why I can't find a date in Los Angeles. My experience in the dating scene here has lead me to the conclusion that I'm not the problem; it's the men here who are. Most guys in LA don't want to date a fat woman*. That's one of the reasons why I want to leave LA as soon as I can afford it. I'm tired of living in an area where there's so much subconscious fat hatred. I've participated in a few different fat activist online communities over the years, and based on some of the women I've talked to online who live in other parts of the country, things are a little different for fat women elsewhere. Sometimes not by much; I mean, just because you live in the midwest doesn't mean you're not going to experience your fair share of fat hate. But I think overall, there's a slightly different attitude and less of a prejudice against fat people in other parts of the country (except, perhaps, Miami, Florida, the bikini-beach body capitol of the US).

*To clarify, I've met many Latino and black guys in LA who have no issue dating fat women, and often prefer it. While I've tried dating some of the Latino and black guys I've met online, I've often found that we share very few cultural interests, or I'll encounter a highly macho personality that didn't show up in my interactions with them online. Those things are not conducive to maintaining a healthy relationship, in my opinion, so I usually don't respond to the Latino and black guys who respond to my dating profile these days.

I'm sure you'll find your way out of this and I'm sorry to hear you've had your confidence shaken. I know from experience that it's no damn fun.
__________________
Some girls are bigger than others. ~The Smiths
thirtiesgirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-2010, 12:08 PM   #20
gobettiepurple
I'm your huckleberry
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 467
gobettiepurple knows EXACTLY what's going ongobettiepurple knows EXACTLY what's going ongobettiepurple knows EXACTLY what's going ongobettiepurple knows EXACTLY what's going ongobettiepurple knows EXACTLY what's going ongobettiepurple knows EXACTLY what's going ongobettiepurple knows EXACTLY what's going on
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tau View Post
My take: I do not believe in meeting men in clubs. I'm not saying its impossible - I know chicks who've hooked up with amazing guys in the club and had really great relationships - but as a rule I personally do not aim for meeting men when I'm out. Most of them are only after sex - and Isa you can totally dress to look like sex and you'll get plenty of hits. Most of them are also there with 'the boys' and a lot of young dudes don't have the balls to hit on girls their friends will make fun of, even when they want to. I honestly, absolutely believe that if what you want is something real then chica go out with your girls, dance up a storm and have a blast, but know that Mr Right will probably be found wandering the aisles at your supermarket or as part of that art class you just joined, or walking a dog in the park.

If, however, you really feel you want to shed the weight - go for it!! The reality, no matter what anybody says here, is that the pool of men attracted to fat women is a small one. It might be growing just because women all over the world seem to be getting fatter and more and more men are growing up surrounded by fat women and seeing those fat women as their future partners, as the norm essentially but at the moment its still a small one. Also, if you haven't tried them, go on speed dating evenings or join a matchmaking agency - there are some really decent ones in just SA so I can imagine that the US is absolutely crawling with them. You can join sex sites if you're looking for a hook up and believe me we fatties get plenty of attention through all of these avenues. You're a hot woman Isa, don't let life pass you by *hugz*
omg Tau, will you marry me? lol, this was an excellent reply to Isamarie . . . you are obviously intelligent and I think that its a very clear, concise look at the dating world . . . i doubt prince charming is hanging out in a loud, dark bar drinking lemon drops and praying for little round girl like me thanks for the awesome post, i would have rep-ed you, but it wouldnt let me!

Also, to my dear Isa, I know I dont have to tell you how awesome you are . . . but I completely understand that feeling of unworthiness. [its something from your catholic upbringing . . . just kidding or course]

Let me remind you of a little situation that happened a few weeks ago at the club that we sometimes frequent. [for everyone else, here's a great reason why you should not expect to find a decent man at a club.] I met this really hot rockabilly guy at a club a few weeks ago. now, my experience of men being interested in me is very limited, especially in a public setting where alcohol is involved. anyway, he was clearly into me and I wasnt misreading it. He texted and called me on the way home from the club till like 4 in the morning [I know, we party hard, right Isamarie and mcbeth? lol] So, I texted him good morning the next day, without anything controversial or mentioning anything about the conversation the night before. After a few minutes of intense anxiety [i was drunk, perhaps i dreamed up the whole encounter] . . . well, suffice to say he had a girlfriend and wasnt as interested as he was a mere 5 hours before.

Now, I know this is not the norm, i mean the guy was clearly a jerk. however, it sort of made my self esteem take a minor detour toward the floor . . . but i am so glad in retrospect that i didnt make out with him and waste time on something that clearly was an abhoration . . .

bottom line, guys you meet at clubs arent going to be riding white horses and slaying dragons for you . . . get on your own white stead and slay whatever dragons you need to without thinking about a man. you definitely have to be secure and in love with yourself before you could ever give that love to someone else.

That was for everyone else's benefit. Isamarie, you should know better because I have had this conversation with you. Also, ROCKET-IT is a dirty place, do you really want to kiss someone that hangs out there? lol
__________________
The post killer and zombie thrilla :)

Last edited by gobettiepurple; 10-09-2010 at 12:21 PM.
gobettiepurple is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-2010, 12:10 PM   #21
gobettiepurple
I'm your huckleberry
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 467
gobettiepurple knows EXACTLY what's going ongobettiepurple knows EXACTLY what's going ongobettiepurple knows EXACTLY what's going ongobettiepurple knows EXACTLY what's going ongobettiepurple knows EXACTLY what's going ongobettiepurple knows EXACTLY what's going ongobettiepurple knows EXACTLY what's going on
Default where is the male perspective?

also, i have to say that i am suprised that so little men have commented on your post . . . thanks to the few men that did
__________________
The post killer and zombie thrilla :)
gobettiepurple is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-10-2010, 02:02 PM   #22
Dromond
Old school
 
Dromond's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: In the past.
Posts: 7,365
Dromond has ascended what used to be the highest level.Dromond has ascended what used to be the highest level.Dromond has ascended what used to be the highest level.Dromond has ascended what used to be the highest level.Dromond has ascended what used to be the highest level.Dromond has ascended what used to be the highest level.Dromond has ascended what used to be the highest level.Dromond has ascended what used to be the highest level.Dromond has ascended what used to be the highest level.Dromond has ascended what used to be the highest level.Dromond has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by gobettiepurple View Post
also, i have to say that i am suprised that so little men have commented on your post . . . thanks to the few men that did
My comment is simple: Men are stupid.
__________________
I hate Illinois Nazis.
Dromond is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-10-2010, 02:52 PM   #23
CastingPearls
Go Big Or Go Home
 
CastingPearls's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Possum Grape, AR
Posts: 15,178
CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.CastingPearls has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dromond View Post
My comment is simple: Men are stupid.
Not all. THANK GOD.
__________________
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]http://castingpearls-blowingbubbles.blogspot.com/

Free me, free yourself
A life of sacrifice controlled me
But those promises I made
No longer hold me
Mercurial more wayward by the hour
The shackles fall away I'm in your power



People throw rocks at things that shine.
CastingPearls is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-10-2010, 03:00 PM   #24
CarlaSixx
Just Another Weirdo
 
CarlaSixx's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Cornwall, ON, Canada
Posts: 3,983
CarlaSixx keeps pushing the rep limit!CarlaSixx keeps pushing the rep limit!CarlaSixx keeps pushing the rep limit!CarlaSixx keeps pushing the rep limit!CarlaSixx keeps pushing the rep limit!CarlaSixx keeps pushing the rep limit!CarlaSixx keeps pushing the rep limit!CarlaSixx keeps pushing the rep limit!CarlaSixx keeps pushing the rep limit!CarlaSixx keeps pushing the rep limit!CarlaSixx keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

I'm only 20 (21 in a month) and seriously want to throw in the towel. But not just in dating. Though it is the one issue I'm fighting with the most. I see people here in love or getting love, and that's what tears at me. Had I not seen people like me in love, I actually would have given up for sure a long time ago. I don't know what to do anymore.
__________________
Curvy Canadian ;)
Twitter
My Wish List
CarlaSixx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-10-2010, 11:33 PM   #25
mossystate
flicks a booger on conrad
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 10,129
mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.mossystate has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dromond View Post
My comment is simple: Men are stupid.
I hate that this comment is on the bbw forum...no matter the gender of the person saying it. It is ugly and also diminishes the real struggles people can have with others. It throws so many people under fast moving buses, and doesn't do anything to suggest a possibility of progression and responsibility, from any ' side '.
mossystate is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:09 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright Dimensions Magazine. All rights reserved worldwide.