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Old 10-11-2010, 11:47 AM   #26
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If a woman said it, you'd be right. But I know my gender and I know myself. I also know first hand what societal conformity pressures are on men. A combination of crap raining on you can mess up your head and make you stupid. I refuse to blame society or peer pressure, though. It's the choice of people to allow their actions to be dictated by outside forces. I consider that to be a stupid thing.

Edit: I will concede that making the flat statement "men are stupid" heavily implies that ALL men are stupid and I don't believe that. I do believe some men are, and I believe that with conviction.
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Old 10-11-2010, 11:54 AM   #27
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Originally Posted by Dromond View Post
If a woman said it, you'd be right. But I know my gender and I know myself. I also know first hand what societal conformity pressures are on men. A combination of crap raining on you can mess up your head and make you stupid. I refuse to blame society or peer pressure, though. It's the choice of people to allow their actions to be dictated by outside forces. I consider that to be a stupid thing.

Edit: I will concede that making the flat statement "men are stupid" heavily implies that ALL men are stupid and I don't believe that. I do believe some men are, and I believe that with conviction.
I thought you were just having a go in your first post about men being stupid, but the above is well said. regardless of gender ppl need to own their stupidity.
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Old 10-11-2010, 02:05 PM   #28
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Spin it however you want. There are SO many men not like ' that '. Saying that so many people are stupid...that is a whole different, and smarter, way to put it. Maybe start a Men Are Stupid thread on a different forum.
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Old 10-11-2010, 02:35 PM   #29
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Originally Posted by CarlaSixx View Post
I'm only 20 (21 in a month) and seriously want to throw in the towel. But not just in dating. Though it is the one issue I'm fighting with the most. I see people here in love or getting love, and that's what tears at me. Had I not seen people like me in love, I actually would have given up for sure a long time ago. I don't know what to do anymore.
Being surrounded by something you don't have inevitably leads to you comparing yourself to others, and consequently putting yourself/others down and getting frustrated; I had the same problem as you last year, Carla, when the whole of my group at university were either in a relationship, married, or engaged. It was extremely isolating and embarrassing, as it made me imagine all the things wrong with myself. Why not me? Why them?

Which was absolutely ridiculous, of course, because I had never cared about being in a relationship so much before (or, to be more accurate, so vehemently before). It took me a while to realise it was the lives of other people that seemed more ideal to mine, and I was simply pining after what others had, regardless of what I really needed.

It sucks to not be close to someone. Outside of uni, and away from those friends, my desire for a meaningful relationship sometimes returns, but it doesn't feel half as poisonous as when it came from envy of comparison.

I just feel for you - it's sore to see other's getting what you know you deserve too; what you'd be good at given the chance!
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Old 10-11-2010, 05:24 PM   #30
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Spin it however you want. There are SO many men not like ' that '. Saying that so many people are stupid...that is a whole different, and smarter, way to put it. Maybe start a Men Are Stupid thread on a different forum.
I could have included women in the statement and been just as right, but we weren't talking about women.
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Old 10-11-2010, 05:34 PM   #31
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I could have included women in the statement and been just as right, but we weren't talking about women.
Oy.


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Old 10-11-2010, 07:05 PM   #32
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Practicing your Morse code?
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Old 10-11-2010, 07:12 PM   #33
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Old 10-12-2010, 01:05 AM   #34
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Isa - I'm sorry to hear that you've been struggling, and I've definitely been there before too. But as much of a hard road as it is, I think a lot of the answer comes from getting to realize your value and worth outside of what any man may think of you - and to be able to speak that truth to yourself about what a lovely and wonderful woman you are.

And I agree with everyone who said that if you are looking for a real connection and relationship, bars/clubs are just not going to get that for you (and I know you already know that).

I hope you are feeling better today. Big hugs to you, girlfriend.
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Old 10-13-2010, 09:22 AM   #35
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So im out at this club, its a great club called Rocket! But honestly its the 1st time o felt my age, and really my age has nothing to do with what im feeling, its my weight. I realize its too late for me. Im here with my friend who has been 41 for 6 months and tonight she made out with a 21yr old, a 27yr old and was here to meet up with a 29yr old, lol i danced a bit to some cool 80s songs but mostly stood by and whatched my life pass by. I came to dimensions for a little confidence and everyone has been very nice and supportive, but the truth is unless i loose 180lbs im going to be alone for the rest of my life, im still gonna go out and have fun with friends, but as for finding a nice fella thats truly interest im giving up and enjoying being an old maid.
I just don't think that clubs are the right place to go to meet a partner.

In my early 20's and before I met my husband, I used to go clubbing with one of my friends who was 12 years older than me. She was like a honeypot to the men, I rarely got a look in. Apart from one time when I met a man (his friend had hooked up with my friend) who was after a one night stand and I made it absolutely clear that he wasn't going to get that from me! Back then my weight was just under 11 stone (150 pounds) so I wasn't exactly fat either.

Men like women of all shapes and sizes. If you're unhappy with your weight then you could try to lose some. But if you're happy then what's the point? Let your self confidence shine through.

In my experience, the good man (i.e. my husband) came along when I wasn't out looking for him.
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Old 10-14-2010, 09:54 AM   #36
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, I picked up my towel and am heading out dancing with my friends tonight.
Loved this line!
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Old 10-14-2010, 09:58 AM   #37
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nevermind!
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Old 10-14-2010, 12:12 PM   #38
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Never throw in the towel, on love, or anything in life. When I find life getting more difficult then I can handle or I am put into a situation that I feel so uncomfortable, I think to myself, "Only a few more mins." Ok, let me explain this awkward saying. I am a jogger, a little weird right? lol. I am not the best jogger but I love to do it. I don't jog for long but I jog every morning from 5:15 until 5:50. I take my overweight dog (little man) and we try our best. So at some points during my morning, I'm so tired... so sore... so not feeling this... but I say to myself, "I'll jog until the end of this block" or "only a few more mins." And those few mins come and pass and I did what I told myself I would do. I took this morning ritual and applied it to my everyday life. When I'm having a bad day, "Oh Erica, just a few more mins." Or, stressed at work, "Erica, just a few more mins and this moment will pass." Love is apart of life and most of us would not throw in the towel if parts of our lives got too difficult. Come up with your own saying to help you get through those difficult and uncomfortable moments. Never settle because we are all beautiful.
Not sure if this post helped but I hope I did. Best of luck to you!
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Old 10-15-2010, 01:28 AM   #39
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LOL Yes NJDoll It did, Everyone was very helpful and I really appriciate it. I really am optamistic 95% of the time in all areas of my life, But boy that 5% can be pretty brutal at times.


I hope my outburst and all everyones support can help others when they get down too.
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Old 10-15-2010, 09:06 AM   #40
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All right.

So Isamarie's towel throwing in has run its course. So what are you throwing the towel in about?

I'm throwing the towel in about my nutty work cubicle neighbor who makes weird sex noises all day long. Next time she starts up a dialog of 1, and I'm going to say: Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't hear you, pretending that she was talking to me. Maybe that'll shut her up. It's passive agressive, but one doesn't have many options in a work situation! It's kinda like the 'leave a bar of soap on a stinky person's desk' jawn.
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Old 10-15-2010, 02:59 PM   #41
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All right.

So Isamarie's towel throwing in has run its course. So what are you throwing the towel in about?

I'm throwing the towel in about my nutty work cubicle neighbor who makes weird sex noises all day long. Next time she starts up a dialog of 1, and I'm going to say: Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't hear you, pretending that she was talking to me. Maybe that'll shut her up. It's passive agressive, but one doesn't have many options in a work situation! It's kinda like the 'leave a bar of soap on a stinky person's desk' jawn.
What if you randomly make some really bizarre noises next time she starts getting on your nerves, I'm partial to the Vera De Milo giggle my self. And when shes askes you what the heck your doing that for, tell her oh i thought sex noises were the new in thing around here. At the very least she might take notice to what shes doing.
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Old 10-15-2010, 04:34 PM   #42
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I'm throwing in the towel about staying at work after 4 p.m., for which I don't get paid.
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