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Old 10-27-2010, 09:12 PM   #51
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I feel like I am swimming in a vat of pudding.

Supero, I said a person who is down.......I never said all the lurkers are down.
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Old 10-28-2010, 12:38 AM   #52
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BHD--I love this posting. IMHO the intent of your posting was to be a positive influence and share some advice that might help someone learn to deal with the issues that have been bogging them down and keeping them from finding their happiness, whether it be in finding a partner, loving their family, enjoying their work...etc. I got a lot from this posting and I am a single (hopefully not for long) woman. I love that you took a chance at posting some good tidings to all the ladies and with this posting you've actually given me a #5.


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Originally Posted by bobbleheaddoll View Post
well gals,

it's true...i rarely ever come into the bbw room anymore because, honestly, it's a bummer. i understand everyone has issues and deals with things their own way...but this is my happy post for all the big girls out there who:

1. accept they're fat. faced it. dealt with it. learned to love it.
2. are good with who they are. this is me. i love me. if you don't...oh well.
3. rock what they got!
4. go out and live life! you only spin once kids...have to live every minute.
5. inspire those who haven't gotten there yet to know they are beautiful

best to everyone! now get out there and live your life your life and love yourself!
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Last edited by Lovelyone; 10-28-2010 at 12:42 AM.
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Old 10-31-2010, 08:23 PM   #53
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one2one has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!one2one has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!one2one has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!one2one has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!one2one has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!one2one has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!one2one has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!one2one has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!one2one has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!one2one has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!one2one has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default I liked it, too.

I liked the post and thought it was more akin to the desire to spread a little of the joy around. Sort of a post 60s, virtual version of handing out daisies and inviting everyone to join the love-in.

Not so much though, huh. I'll just be going then ... carry on.
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Old 11-02-2010, 08:48 AM   #54
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Wow. This whole conversation seems really depressing and negative to me. I thought Bobblehead's original post was pretty upbeat and positive. I have no clue how it could have spawned such negative reactions, but looking at how quickly it all went downhill, I would say she has a point...
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Old 11-02-2010, 09:37 AM   #55
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I have no clue how it could have spawned such negative reactions, but looking at how quickly it all went downhill, I would say she has a point...
haha. Right?
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Old 11-02-2010, 09:48 AM   #56
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I re-read the original post in this thread, and it is less confrontational than I initially thought and talked about in my responses. My first read of BHD's post in this thread was colored by other posts I've read of hers, instead of just taking it on its own.

I'm all for having a place where people can share their good news about what's going well in their lives, if people feel like that would be helpful. Maybe we can have a thread dedicated just to that?
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Old 11-02-2010, 10:35 AM   #57
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I think it has to do with one's approach on everything. If you view everything (or a lot of what) people have to say with suspicion and negativity, you're going to read everything that way no matter what their intent could be.

I agree that the responses in this thread proved BHD's point.
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Old 11-02-2010, 10:40 AM   #58
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Originally Posted by CastingPearls View Post
I think it has to do with one's approach on everything. If you view everything (or a lot of what) people have to say with suspicion and negativity, you're going to read everything that way no matter what their intent could be.

I agree that the responses in this thread proved BHD's point.
True. And sometimes people show themselves to be a certain way through their postings, and it affects how you read what they say. I think that's pretty natural, we do that in real life too; and hear people's words through what we have come to know about them over time (sometimes that means we give them the benefit of the doubt, sometimes it means we don't).
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Old 11-02-2010, 11:08 AM   #59
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Originally Posted by CastingPearls View Post
I think it has to do with one's approach on everything. If you view everything (or a lot of what) people have to say with suspicion and negativity, you're going to read everything that way no matter what their intent could be.

I agree that the responses in this thread proved BHD's point.
Well, that certainly stops any voice that doesn't agree with 'you'...or attempts it. If someone defined you as being mostly ______ ( fill in the blank ), you would then be judged by some as not being able to make a valid point, pretty much ever, because of what others see as your " approach ". That is a slippery slope, and ends up being what you don't like...suspicious. I know I disagreed with the language used...I still do...and yet I said it had nothing to do with not wanting to see positive. Have to be able to separate.
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Old 11-03-2010, 09:12 AM   #60
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Just yesterday, I was at a social gathering with some friends, both men and women. A new woman showed up to the gathering who many people hadn't met before. She's young, slender and very pretty, and I immediately observed a subtle shift in the attention of several straight guys in the group. Without realizing it, they turned their focus to her, spoke only to her, asked her questions, and essentially, stopped paying attention to other women in the group.

Wow -- they were subtle about it?
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Old 11-03-2010, 04:47 PM   #61
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Wow -- they were subtle about it?
Yes. The group I hang with has several rather nerd-ish guys in it who aren't very adept at or used to relating to women in more direct ways. Get them talking about Linux, Playstation games, sci-fi movies or comic books and they can talk your leg off. Not so much when it comes to women. Introduce a young, slender, pretty girl into the group and suddenly all antennae are turning in her direction. It was kind of amusing to watch, actually, how many guys' heads turned in her direction and stayed focused on her, and a few of them moved to be closer to her physically, as if being physically nearer to her might make some difference in her perception of them, even they didn't say a word.
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Old 11-14-2010, 07:12 PM   #62
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Originally Posted by mcbeth View Post
True. And sometimes people show themselves to be a certain way through their postings, and it affects how you read what they say. I think that's pretty natural, we do that in real life too; and hear people's words through what we have come to know about them over time (sometimes that means we give them the benefit of the doubt, sometimes it means we don't).
you all have a good point. but no matter what someone's mindset is we still have an opportunity to make it into something positive if we really want to by how we respond to it. it would be good if we don't miss opportunities to do something good for each other sometimes.
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Old 06-28-2011, 08:04 AM   #63
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You misunderstood me, or were selectively reading, one of the two. I agree that if you don't have self confidence and value yourself, it makes it harder to find a romantic partner, and sometimes harder to keep one. My point was that just telling us to "buck up! Stop hating yourself! Be happy! Live your life!" is not going to accomplish that goal. And single women are going to be much less likely to accept that "helpful" advice from a woman who is partnered. When we have one of those days when every message we get seems to be saying "fat is bad," we go home and deal with it on our own. We don't have a partner to be our support system and remind us that we're valued and loved, a partner who is seen by western society as an indication of our value as human beings, particularly as fat women. And after a long period of days like that, when every message we receive seems to be saying "fat is bad," "you're not worthy," we get damn tired of dealing with it on our own and need a place where we can express our feelings about it, around other people who can understand what we're feeling. Just telling us to "live your life! Be happy!" isn't the answer. Try remembering what it's like to be a single fat woman and understand what we're feeling.
i completely agree with pretty much all that you're saying , except one part.
you keep saying to have patience and understanding with all the single fat girls. but i honestly dont think that being single or partnerd up makes much of a difference.

not all who are partnerd up are happy with said partners, and even the ones that are happy with their significant other,are still often not happy with themselves or there body image.

At the same time a partner can actually make all of your self image and self esteem worse. case in point. my mother was a bbw and while she was married to my father all he could ever say was how disgusting she was and how he hated everything about her. constantly telling her to stop being so disgusting in her existence. and has over my teenage and few adult years i have, made simillar refrences to my size and weight.

so all I want to really get across is that it doesnt matter if you're partnerd up or not. it is about coming to terms with who you are regardless of you are or are not with. this forum is made for bbws to come together and nurture each other, and try and help one another when it comes to lovining your self and not only accepting the body that you're in but rejoicing in it.
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