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Old 10-26-2010, 06:35 PM   #1
Sasquatch!
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Question Explaining Paquito for Newbies.

I've been reading through a number of threads recently, and I can't help but notice there is a bit of an unseen casualty in most of them.

No, it's not grammar. Or good taste. Those are always impeccable.

I think people are grossly misunderstanding Paquito. Here's a couple of points I think will help everyone when dealing with this much maligned poster:

1--Paquito is not, and never has been adopted by Angelina Jolie.

2--Paquito is indeed the sole survivor of the 1962 Chicken Drumstick conflict. (what a pointless, pointless war...)

3--The sound Paquito makes when running is identical to the Benny Hill theme tune.

4--The reason Paquito dislikes vegetables is because vegetables killed his parents.

5--Paquito is a controlled substance in 17 countries recognised by the UN.
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Old 10-26-2010, 06:39 PM   #2
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Paquito is the real reason for the Iraq War
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Old 10-26-2010, 06:39 PM   #3
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7 -- Paquito fucking LOVES Sassy.

8 -- Paquito is based on the novel Push by Sapphire.
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Old 10-26-2010, 06:40 PM   #4
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9 -- Paquito has the largest recorded wiener in the United States

edit: (I saw it. It is true.)
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Old 10-26-2010, 06:45 PM   #5
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10--The first rule about Paquito club is you must talk about Paquito.

11--If it's your first night, you must do Paquito.
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Old 10-26-2010, 06:48 PM   #6
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12 -- If it's your second night...Paquito does you
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Old 10-26-2010, 07:08 PM   #7
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13.) Chuck Norris checks for Paquito before going to sleep at night.
14.)Paquito is actually Chuck Norris-the "one who is mistaken for Chuck Norris," is on an island with Elvis, and George Carlin
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Old 10-26-2010, 07:10 PM   #8
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15--Paquito is the fifth horseman of the Apocalypse--Hispanic Funk.
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Old 10-26-2010, 07:21 PM   #9
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16) Paquito has been at one point and time intimate with each of the golden girls. although before this they were just called the girls.

17) Paquito is listed with the FDA as one of the secret ingredients in both KFC original recipe chicken and Dr. Pepper.

18) Paquito was the Second Gunmen on the grassy knoll.

19) Paquito let the dogs out. cus them bitches be triflin.
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Old 10-26-2010, 07:26 PM   #10
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20. He has a sweet creamy middle not unlike a Cadbury Easter Egg.
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Old 10-26-2010, 07:36 PM   #11
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21.) He is who (or what) you would do for a Klondike bar.

22.) He is the number of licks to a toosite pop.

23.) He's the reason for the teardrops on Taylor Swift's guitar.

24.) He created the big bang.
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Old 10-26-2010, 07:40 PM   #12
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25) He's the reason why Frank cries into his pillow all night.

26) He's Alaska's state bird.

27) He tastes like chicken.
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Old 10-26-2010, 08:23 PM   #13
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Ah, you know, I feel I'm really starting to get Paquito now. Let's hope this brief moment of understanding isn't just a phase.
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Old 10-26-2010, 11:13 PM   #14
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28) There's no such thing as a Paquito "phase". He is your life now.
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Old 10-26-2010, 11:32 PM   #15
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29) paq is . . . Therefore he can.
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Old 10-26-2010, 11:36 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sasquatch! View Post
10--The first rule about Paquito club is you must talk about Paquito.

11--If it's your first night, you must do Paquito.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigChaz View Post
12 -- If it's your second night...Paquito does you
What happens on the third night?!
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Old 10-26-2010, 11:37 PM   #17
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30. Paquito used to be a lion waterfall
31. Paquito is the white stuff in Twinkies
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Old 10-26-2010, 11:39 PM   #18
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32. Paquito just pissed your pants.
33. Paquito is all 99 of Jay-Z's problems.
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Old 10-27-2010, 12:04 AM   #19
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34. Paquito and I once got into a fight that began with pillows, crossed over into nuclear warfare, and ended in Borat-style mankinis unitards. I won by a default, but the point is don't start shit.
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Old 10-27-2010, 12:08 AM   #20
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35. Paquito puts 'Pants on the Ground' guy to shame.

36. Paquito is Aslan, only more caramel-ly.
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Old 10-27-2010, 01:55 AM   #21
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37. If God were to make a burrito so hot that even He couldn't eat it... Paquito could.
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Old 10-27-2010, 05:31 AM   #22
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Old 10-27-2010, 06:22 AM   #23
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38. Paquito put the 'ram' in the 'rama lama ding dong' (but 'Who put the bomp
In the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?' is still a mystery)
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Old 10-27-2010, 07:48 AM   #24
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Quote:
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38. Paquito put the 'ram' in the 'rama lama ding dong' (but 'Who put the bomp
In the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?' is still a mystery)
Paq did that too. Fame, fortune, glory . . . A Paq cares not for these things.
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Old 10-27-2010, 08:39 AM   #25
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40--Paquito is Tupac's father.
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