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Old 01-07-2011, 07:44 PM   #1
luscious_lulu
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Default How to impress a BBW - BBW only Please

What are your do's and don'ts for guys who are trying to impress you?

For me, speak to me in proper English. Save the slang for your guy friends. If you are sending me an email or pm use punctuation.

Treat me like a lady. I like having a door held open for me. I like someone who is thoughtful. That chair with the arms is not the best seating choice & if the patio has those horrible plastic chairs I don't want to sit out there.

Don't walk too fast. I'm fat and my centre of balance isn't so centre & the extra bulk makes it hard to keep up.

Ok, I know you ladies have tons (pun intended) of input on this subject. (men feel free to learn)!
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Old 01-07-2011, 09:08 PM   #2
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Subscribing.
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Old 01-07-2011, 09:10 PM   #3
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Listening intently.
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Old 01-07-2011, 09:26 PM   #4
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Have the ability to carry on an intelligent conversation
Don't get too personal or touchy feeling upon meeting
If we aren't bumping uglies are at least swapping spit, do not call me honey or babe or sugar
Please take a bath and wear some clean clothes.

Now if you are trying to impress me on the net
Don't ask me questions that could have been answered if you had taken the time to read my profile if you found me on a dating site.
Do not talk sex within the first few minutes of the conversation
If you IM me, please have the courtesy to talk to just me . I hate when you have 4 or 5 chat windows open and get me confused with whatever other chickie you are talking to. I give you that courtesy, do the same for me.
Don't hit me up for more pics. Whatever pic i have up is the most recent and it represents me pretty well, so live with it until we talk more.
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Old 01-07-2011, 10:44 PM   #5
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Psh, like I'm gonna listen to this. I'm out!







*intently peeking through the door*
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Old 01-07-2011, 11:06 PM   #6
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I like both answers so far

Treat me like a woman not a baby or little girl I am independent and not looking for a father figure or mother hen

Dont make our first conversations anthing about my size as that is a major turn off you can see from my pics what my rough size and shape is thats enough to go off

I agree dont talk sex in the first conversation its tack and I am going to be turned off by it

think of some interesting questions and conversation topic appart from the usual a?s?l? hobbies and interests ones even if they are quirky or silly you will win points for originality

Dont act like you want to date me only to turn around and say things like lets meet in my car and chat ie I dont want to be seen with you in public

I am sure I can think of oodles more but brain meltedwith the heat today
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Old 01-08-2011, 08:30 AM   #7
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For me? Know some lame jokes. I like them. I like a guy who can make me laugh, someone who's witty and sharp and knows how to use it.

BBW related, let me know you like and appreciate my body without it feeling like you're there for a fetish fix. Appreciate the rest of me too.
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Old 01-08-2011, 09:18 AM   #8
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Great input ladies! I agree with everything so far.

I just want to make it clear, this isn't a man hating thread. It's meant to clear up some misconceptions and the mysteries of what women are looking for. If anyone has taken offence to my wording I am sorry.
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Old 01-08-2011, 09:40 AM   #9
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Find the line between admiring and creeping me right the hell out. Telling me I have a beautiful smile will make me blush but smile harder - and clue me in that you're flirting and not just talking. Telling me I'm sexy will straddle the line between making me feel flattered and making me feel pressured to be or do something I haven't asked for or agreed to.

I'm shy. Part of it is inexperience, part of it in natural inclination, and part of it is having had to deal with boys who pretended interest just to make fun, and men who were all too sincere in their desire to get me naked with as few preliminaries as possible. The thing about the latter is, it makes me feel the exact opposite of sexy.

And, thinking of the last few times I got hit on, you know what would be nice? If we've been having a conversation and you managed to look in my eyes at least as much as you looked at my boobs, you were either nice to my kid or expressed that my having a kid wasn't a problem for you, you know what the next step is? It's not "call me sometime" or "I'll text you later," it's "Do you have plans on _____? I'd like to take you to _____." Close the deal, dude. Either we're making plans or we're not.
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Old 01-08-2011, 01:40 PM   #10
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Just be yourself, if I don't get to know the real you and you change 6 months down the line then that will suck. If I don't like you at first we'll both move on
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Old 01-08-2011, 02:03 PM   #11
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I agree with everything said so far! This one isn't so first date orientated but I feel it counts (and I've had trouble with it a few times): when it comes to the bedroom stuff, consider that, with our size, not everything might be possible. Fat makes things bigger and thus harder to flex/get past, so if we hesitate at your request try and realise what the problem is without us having to explain. And when you do realise, make a game/joke out of it rather than act like you've just run into a brick wall.

I've had dudes get put off/frustrated with me because I can't go on top (there's simply too much on the thighs to get that low, boys) and it's plain old humiliating.
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Old 01-08-2011, 02:29 PM   #12
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Ifi you're not all that interested, don't ask for my email/number. And certainly don't say "I'll call you" if you're not interested.

I know this is how guys act polite but a lot of women can't tell the difference betwee polite and true interest.

Instead, if you're interested, just keep telling a woman how great a time you had together, and tell her you'd really like to see/speak with her again. If you end up not being interested, just thank her for her time and say it was nice to talk/meet. And leave it at that.
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Old 01-08-2011, 11:10 PM   #13
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If you notice I am not interested, stop talking. PLEASE!

If you just met me and we are at a bar, club, restaurant...whatever. Always offer to pay. I probably won't take you up on the offer but at least make the gesture.

If I accept a date with you. I am giving you some of my valuable time. Do not use it to discuss ex's, play on your phone or watch sports.

Always make sure I get home safe. Reminding me to text you when I get in the door means a lot and shows you care.
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Old 01-08-2011, 11:31 PM   #14
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All of the above... Good answers ladies!

Especially ditto on the intelligent conversation and mannerly considerations!

A fella who checks on me from time to time is nice. One of my best guy friends sent me an email Friday that scolded me for being at work while I was sick and I felt warm fuzzy for being looked after in even that small way.

Laughter and sense of humor is also important. Smartassery is critical to the survival of any relationship (friendship or otherwise) in my life!
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Old 01-08-2011, 11:37 PM   #15
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The things that would impress me most are intelligence, open mindedness, a sense of adventure and most importantly, not being afraid to be with a fat chick. But, if he wants to really really impress me he'd get to know me and surprise me with some romantic gesture that would be meaningful to me.
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Old 01-09-2011, 03:55 AM   #16
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Whether she's fat or not, it's always a good idea to approach a woman (or anyone, in virtually any context) with respect and sensitivity. While every girl is an individual with different needs and inclinations, the same basic social methodology applies: care.
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Old 01-09-2011, 10:34 AM   #17
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THIS!!! I will also add:
Do's
1. Do treat me like a lady. Opening a door or holding out an arm for this woman is a big turn-on.
2. Listen to me when i am talking, even if what I have to say isn't interesting to you. I give you that courtesy.
3. It's okay to be friends first. Its a good foundation to build onto.
4. Make that call to make sure they made it home safely if they traveled to meet you. Its just common courtesy.

Dont's
1. Do not compare me to another fat girl that you've previously been involved with--or tell me that you wish there were more fat girls like me where you live so that you can have more to choose from.
2. Do NOT answer a dating ad unless you really are looking for a date. Far too many times I get responses from men who ONLY want to chat up a fatty, or want spank fodder. This is such a waste of my precious time and nothing will infuriate me more.
3. Do not assume that because i am fat...I am desperate, slovenly, or stupid.
4. Don't lead someone on. Honestly, it's cruel and mean to hurt someone in such a way.

Quote:
Originally Posted by cinnamitch View Post
Have the ability to carry on an intelligent conversation
Don't get too personal or touchy feeling upon meeting
If we aren't bumping uglies are at least swapping spit, do not call me honey or babe or sugar
Please take a bath and wear some clean clothes.

Now if you are trying to impress me on the net
Don't ask me questions that could have been answered if you had taken the time to read my profile if you found me on a dating site.
Do not talk sex within the first few minutes of the conversation
If you IM me, please have the courtesy to talk to just me . I hate when you have 4 or 5 chat windows open and get me confused with whatever other chickie you are talking to. I give you that courtesy, do the same for me.
Don't hit me up for more pics. Whatever pic i have up is the most recent and it represents me pretty well, so live with it until we talk more.
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Old 01-09-2011, 12:38 PM   #18
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If all the close parking spots are taken, please offer to drop me off at the door and then park. Especially if it is raining or snowing or if they parking lot looks icy or slushy. It's really hard for a super sized girl to navigate on slippery pavement and falling when you're really big can be a total disaster.

Please make sure wherever you're taking me has chairs that are comfortable for me. Don't take me to a tiny little restaurant that only seats 10-15 people at the busiest time possible. I won't fit well in the allotted space for our table and it will make me feel very self conscious and crowded. Also, please request a table instead of a booth. If we're put on the end of an aisle, let me sit on the inside so I'm not sticking out in the walkway and making it impossible for any waiters or other patrons to walk through.

If you drive a really tiny car that I'm not going to fit comfortably in at all, don't be offended if I want to drive myself or pick you up in my fatty sized car instead.
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Old 01-09-2011, 07:26 PM   #19
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Treat me with the same amount of respect and pride you would if you were taking Megan Fox on a date.
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Old 01-09-2011, 07:48 PM   #20
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1.It's not an interview. I'm not interested in hearing about your every achievement from when you were 6 nor do I really want a complete run down of your financial assets. It's awesome that you can take care of yourself and a harem of women if you wanted to but I'd like to find out more about you and not the things you own.
2, No I'm not terribly impressed by your car. Please stop talking about it.
3. Don't talk about my body on the first date - at all.
4. Don't give me crap about how insecure and 'jealous' all the other women around me are. I'm neither stupid nor insecure - I don't need to be lied to about reality.
5. Be clean - make an effort because I always make an effort
6. PAY FOR THE FIRST DATE!!!! Specially if you talked my ear off bout how much money you have
7. Do Not Lie. It pisses me off. Do Not Lie!!!!
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Old 01-10-2011, 01:20 AM   #21
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Over everything else, be genuine.
There's nothing worse than words that hold no meaning behind them and actions that don't back them up.
Aside from that, don't treat me like a fetish.
Compliments are good, but if you want me to respect you, don't attempt to eat out my ego the first time we start talking.
Don't take everything I say seriously or get easily offended. Sarcasm is good. Humor is a desirable trait.
Actually make an attempt to get to know me on a level that's more intimate and personal then my vagina.
I am a human being, and I do have interests, opinions, concerns, feelings, etc.
Talk about yourself, but recognize that narcissism is not a cute trait.
Also, please accept the notion that if we 'meet' via the community, it's going to take awhile before I trust your motives. I'd prefer not to be strung along until desired goal is reached, and then dropped instantly.
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Old 01-10-2011, 12:29 PM   #22
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Putting my Moderator hat on for a moment: please keep this thread to BBWs only, and let's keep it positive. The BBW forum is a place to support each and this thread is a good opportunity.

Thanks!
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Old 01-10-2011, 12:53 PM   #23
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Another thing that impresses me is when a guy is willing/able to look at and accept different viewpoints. No characterizing people who disagree with you as deranged lunatics.

If we're talking about current events and he has an opinion that is neither Bill O'Reilly's nor Keith Olbermann's but shows that he thought for himself, that's enough to make my stomach burst with butterflies. Thinking for yourself is super hot.

Bonus points if he can admit he's wrong or doesn't know rather than try to bluff and bluster to seem smart.
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Old 01-10-2011, 01:01 PM   #24
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Make an effort to remember the little things, and bring them up once in awhile. it lets us know you were paying attention, and if it's a tiny detail that we've forgotten, it'll be even that much more special.
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Old 01-10-2011, 01:02 PM   #25
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Posts: 1,308
Tau has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tau has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tau has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tau has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tau has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tau has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tau has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tau has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tau has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tau has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tau has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
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Also men who aren't afraid of being goofy, who aren't afraid of laughing at themselves. Men who are willing to vulnerable, who realise that its in the flaws that real beauty lies . Men who are not sheep. No sheep need aply thanks! Have passions, have convictions and stand by them dammit!
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