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Old 01-10-2011, 01:34 PM   #26
CastingPearls
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Have passion for what you do. You don't have to be a rocket scientist (although that's nice too) but tell me what thrills you in YOUR life.

Speak. Don't let me carry or dominate the conversation and hey--you can jump in at anytime. If you make pained faces I'm going to assume you're uncomfortable which will make me uncomfortable. That doesn't mean there can't be pauses in conversation but you should know how to reasonably carry one.

I know what I look like. I have a mirror. It's nice to be told I'm beautiful and it's nice to have appreciative glances and meaningful eye-contact. It isn't nice to appear as if you're going to lunge across the table at me. It's frightening.

Show some class. If you're rude to anyone like waitstaff or service people who haven't horribly provoked you (and no, forgetting the cream for my coffee is not provocation) I won't speak to you again. I don't care if you had a bad day. Don't be an animal.

I can't stress this one more: Please...be honest. If you're tired or don't feel well, or feel uncomfortable or we just don't click--tell me. Don't waste my valuable time. Or yours.

I do have a high opinion of myself. If you consider it arrogant then why are you even talking to me? If you're so insecure that you have to challenge everything I say, if you're so lacking in confidence, sorry..it's a complete turn-off.

"I was trying to impress you" is/was endearing. Being a little bit vulnerable is a huge turn-on. Pretension and bravado isn't.

Eye-contact is important to me. It's okay to glance at my breasts but there's a difference between leering and looking and you know it.

Please and thank you go a long long way. Manners do count and yes I am old-fashioned that I like the door held open for me but I'll hold it for you too!

Some of the things listed upthread are not impressive to me but basic requirements. ALL are good and worth keeping in mind.

I do have very high standards because I'm worth it. If I'm still talking to you, maybe I think you are too.
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Old 01-10-2011, 03:59 PM   #27
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I realize this should really more be a "basic requirement" than something impressive...but perhaps due to a string of less-than-awesome fellas, it has become something that does impress me when I find it in a man:

INTEGRITY.

-Your external words/actions are consistent with your internal values/thoughts/feelings, both toward me and in general. No frontin'.
-Your word is your bond. If you say you will call tomorrow, you call tomorrow. In other words, you're deeply trustworthy and stand by your commitments, no matter how small or insignificant they may be. You keep promises diligently.

There are lots of other things that attract me to a man, and things I need to feel connected - but this is one of those things that a lot of guys seem to lack these days, so it does impress me. Happily, there are a lot of men who have it too, and I am grateful to know quite a number of them.
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Old 01-10-2011, 05:21 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CastingPearls View Post
It isn't nice to appear as if you're going to lunge across the table at me. It's frightening.
This is so true and funny!


Ladies, I keep reading the posts and think yes! I love the feedback!
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Old 01-10-2011, 05:55 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
If all the close parking spots are taken, please offer to drop me off at the door and then park. Especially if it is raining or snowing or if they parking lot looks icy or slushy. It's really hard for a super sized girl to navigate on slippery pavement and falling when you're really big can be a total disaster.

Please make sure wherever you're taking me has chairs that are comfortable for me. Don't take me to a tiny little restaurant that only seats 10-15 people at the busiest time possible. I won't fit well in the allotted space for our table and it will make me feel very self conscious and crowded. Also, please request a table instead of a booth. If we're put on the end of an aisle, let me sit on the inside so I'm not sticking out in the walkway and making it impossible for any waiters or other patrons to walk through.

If you drive a really tiny car that I'm not going to fit comfortably in at all, don't be offended if I want to drive myself or pick you up in my fatty sized car instead.
Said so very well.

I would sum my requirements up as, please don't spring anything on me that I have said I would have problems doing. You don't know my abilities "better than I do", what I can or cannot do varies on a daily basis, let me decide please.
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Old 01-11-2011, 10:09 AM   #30
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I agree with most, if not all of what the ladies have mentioned so far. For me most important is honesty. I am a very open and honest woman and more often than not I am very bold. I don't appreciate my time being wasted on lies and lips service. My time is valuable as I'm sure you believe yours is also. Respect goes a long way with me. I am a firm believer in "Do unto others as you will have them do unto you". That's my 2 cents anyway!!

P.S. This is how I feel in all of the relationships in my life not just romantic ones.
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Old 01-14-2011, 01:15 PM   #31
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Please don't be douchey . . . there seems to be an epidemic of douchey-ness going on, and I have to say I don't care for it at all. Its started with k-fed and its ending right now!

As a corollary, there is also an epidemic of hot-pants-whores going on, but that is for another time and place!
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Old 01-15-2011, 09:50 AM   #32
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Don't mention weight, please. You have no idea how comfortable a woman is with discussing her body when you first meet her, although your intentions may be good.

FAs often make the mistake of thinking that BBWs want their unique physiques pointed out and discussed by potential suitors when, in fact, many big girls just want to forget the topic of body image or shape for an evening, if possible. It can be hard to feel attractive and emotionally at ease when one is constantly reminded of being "other" and "different." (Even though BBWs are actually the norm these days, that's not how it usually feels out at the club.)

Stick with her eyes, smile, etc., if you feel the need to explain what draws you to her.
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Old 01-15-2011, 03:14 PM   #33
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No need to mention weight,some of us are uncomfortable with it.As when I first met my husband.Also pick up the check and open doors for us.It is nice to know gentleman still exist.My husband still opens doors for me and even goes around and opens the car door!Also have a car big enough too make us feel comfortable.I'm not saying we need a mack truck but something roomy!
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Old 01-15-2011, 11:38 PM   #34
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This can be related to fat stuff, but it can really be related to anything:

Be willing to admit when you made a mistake and/or were wrong.

THAT is impressive. (and rare!)
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Old 01-16-2011, 12:13 PM   #35
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I just love it when a man pays attention to what I am saying and responds accordingly. Meeting my eyes and giving a sheepish, "I hear what you are saying" smile when we are talking is a huge turn-on for me.
Its also sweet to remember that under all this fat is a person. I have wonderful ideas, thoughts and a fantastic sense of humor. It doesn't take ONLY compliments about my body to keep me interested in you. Acknowledging something I said or adding to it will go a LONG way with me.

Basically if your treat me as a lady, you will be well received. I am old school and I adore it when a man holds open the door for me, holds my chair as I sit, guides me through a doorway the small of my back (not that anything on me is small, mind you), takes my hand to lead me somewhere...these are small gestures that show respect and interest. You don't have to be grabby-grabby to show me that you are interested.

I also love when someone takes me on an unconventional date. Sometimes the same old, same ol' can be a little boring. My favorite date of all time was a picnic in a park. We didn't spend a lot of money but we had a nice lunch, got fresh air and sunshine, took a stroll around the pond, he brought a loaf of bread to feed to the ducks, we got to know one another in a public atmosphere, and walked away holding hands.
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Old 01-16-2011, 03:30 PM   #36
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1. Be a gentleman- not too many of those left in the world so this will make you stand out.

2. You get to know what I like sexually- after you give me a chance to decide whether or not I like you. So practice patience- I will talk to you again if you do.

3. If you are in a bad spot in your life- such as unemployment or other such things- then why are you trying to date? Have your own life in order before you try to insert yourself into someone else's life.

4. I'm not looking for a savior- nor am I looking to save anyone. Carry your own weight/issues and you might be impressed to see how much I can carry.

5. I like it if you tell me I'm pretty- I like it even more when I realize you are looking beyond how I look and are able to compliment something better. I want to be appreciated for who I am.....just as I will appreciate the person you are.

6. For those I meet on the net: I don't owe you more pictures- I don't OWE you anything. Ask politely- and be able to reciprocate in kind with anything you ask of me.

7. Be honest- I'm not looking to waste your time- so don't waste mine either.

8. I prefer adults- so act like one no matter what your age.

9. I'm easy to talk to and can easily start conversations but I'm not going to carry the whole conversation. If you're lazy in the beginning, then I know it only goes down hill from there.
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Old 01-23-2011, 01:02 PM   #37
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Green Eyed Fairy View Post
1. Be a gentleman- not too many of those left in the world so this will make you stand out.

2. You get to know what I like sexually- after you give me a chance to decide whether or not I like you. So practice patience- I will talk to you again if you do.

3. If you are in a bad spot in your life- such as unemployment or other such things- then why are you trying to date? Have your own life in order before you try to insert yourself into someone else's life.

4. I'm not looking for a savior- nor am I looking to save anyone. Carry your own weight/issues and you might be impressed to see how much I can carry.

5. I like it if you tell me I'm pretty- I like it even more when I realize you are looking beyond how I look and are able to compliment something better. I want to be appreciated for who I am.....just as I will appreciate the person you are.

6. For those I meet on the net: I don't owe you more pictures- I don't OWE you anything. Ask politely- and be able to reciprocate in kind with anything you ask of me.

7. Be honest- I'm not looking to waste your time- so don't waste mine either.

8. I prefer adults- so act like one no matter what your age.

9. I'm easy to talk to and can easily start conversations but I'm not going to carry the whole conversation. If you're lazy in the beginning, then I know it only goes down hill from there.
worth repeating several times over and over
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